One Hand, One Heart
by DreamsofRay
Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.
1. Prologue

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

-xxx-

**Prologue **

This was a side of town that he wasn't familiar with. He lived on the West Side and preferred to stay around that area. But they had only stocked the Rolling Stones Classics, book of piano music at this shop and it would have cost twice as much to have it shipped over from Canada.

Now, however, he found himself hopelessly lost in the twisting maze of back streets. Seeing the promise of streetlights at the other end of an alley, he made his way quickly down it. The sounds of shouts from the street he had just come from, made him hurry his pace, walking quickly across the slippery cobble stones.

Something caught his eye as he walked and he stopped, turning to see a figure slumped between two garbage bins. Moving forward quickly, he recognised the figure as female, although her slender body was covered in a thick black coat, the only colour obvious was a bright, canary yellow sweater that shone from underneath- what caught his eyes originally.

Leaning down, he brushed the dark hair from her face and cringed at the sight of her.

She was deathly pale and completely frozen, despite the coat. He hesitated for a few moments debating the decision for a moment before pulling her up into his arms. She was light and his strong dancer's arms held her up easily as he hurried towards his car, which was parked on the other side of the road in a public car park.

Sliding her into one arm and balancing her carefully with the grace of years training, he gently placed her into the passenger seat, before slamming the passenger door and hurrying towards the driver's seat.

Clambering in, he suddenly had a thought, and placed his two fingers against her throat gently. The faint, yet steady beat beneath his fingers made him slump in relief.

"Thank God." He muttered, fumbling as he started his car, screeching out into the road.

-xxx-

**This is kind of an apology to the readers of my other St Berry fic 'Intoxication'. I haven't written in ages because I caught flu very badly. My doctor says I have to stay in bed and rest, she gave me pills to take and I HATE taking pills so :( - I still have it now :( and my HP Laptop has decided to break. I plug it in and it sometimes says it's charging, sometimes it isn't. It's a common problem and I think it's to do with the plug socket- it's too fragile. **

**But what do I know?**

**Should have an 'Intoxication' update soon.**

**Okay, please be nice :)**

**The next chapter should be straight up and updates should be pretty regular I think.**

**Please review- reviews inspire me!**

**Ray x**


	2. Chapter 1

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee.**

**A.N: This chapter has been tweaked a bit, that's why it's being re posted, so you don't have to re read it if you don't want to, it's fine by me. :) xxx **

**-xxx-**

**Chapter 1**

It was unlike Rachel Berry to be quiet. She was not, by nature, a quiet person, years of training and vocal lessons had done that to her. She would make sure that her views were heard, despite the fact that her peers often saw her as loud and obnoxious for this. This certain characteristic seemed to echo more loudly than the others during the usual Glee club meetings. Perhaps it was because, in such a small group of people, Rachel seemed to attract most of the attention to herself? Whatever it was, it meant that she was never overlooked.

And never quiet.

When the Glee Club had assembled themselves completely; enquired about their team mates Christmas holidays and sat in their seats, Mr Shue spoke.

"So, I'm glad you guys had a good Christmas, have any of you worked on your Glee Assignment in between the festivities, finding a classic, which you think is right for how you feel at the moment?"

The club turned expectantly to the corner where Rachel sat. She was always the first to offer anything in these situations. However, Rachel sat, silent, her hands folded in her lap, and her eyes cast down, away from the prying eyes.

"Rachel?" Mr Shue frowned. "Have you got anything?"

Rachel shook her head quickly, not looking up to answer her teacher.

"Is everything okay Rachel?" Mr Shue took a worried step forward.

A quick nod this time, almost curt, as she turned further away from them, her cheeks colouring an unfamiliar pink.

"Okay…" Mr Shue turned away, reluctant. "Anyone else?"

Mercedes shrugged and walked up to the front, to the cheers of her classmates and started on a bluesy version of 'All Summer Long'.

Rachel blocked out the sounds of her classmates cheers and Mercedes' husky voice, as she always did. The thought occurred to her that they never cheered her, but she pushed it away before it could unleash a torrent of emotion. She was glad that no one had decided to ask about her Christmas holiday, she hadn't thought of a story yet and there was not a chance she was telling her peers about what had really ruined her holidays.

When the song had finished the group broke out into applause once more and Rachel clapped along quietly. The club turned to see if Rachel would make any comments on the song as she usually did, but the girl was still sat, silent.

On that uneasy tone the club dispersed, leaving Rachel to pick up her bag and walk her lonely way to class.

"Hey, Rachel!" The call made her jump and she hurried her pace a little more.

"Rache, Rache!" The footsteps pounded behind her, making her cringe and she flinched away from the big hand on her shoulder.

"Whoa there," Finn grinned down at her, his expression faltering when he took in her wide eyes. "What's wrong Rache?"

She shook her head, letting her hair fall around her face.

"Rache," His strong hand gripped her arm, making her jump again. "Don't be stupid, just tell me."

"Nothing," She spat out, her voice breaking. "Nothing is wrong, just leave me alone, will you?"

"Okay," He took a step back, his eyes widening with hurt. "Just asking."

"Well don't!" She snapped, turning away and stalking down the corridor.

**Xxx**

That evening was the first time Rachel threw up. She was just eating dinner, vegan chipolatas were her favourite, but they were a pain to make, so Hiram, the cook of the family, only ever made them on special occasions. A strange metallic taste had been irritating her for a few days and suddenly it became too much, suddenly it became strong enough to make her retch and she only just managed to get to the toilet in time.

She had sat, retching into the toilet bowl and watching in horror as the chipolatas she'd already eaten came back in. Her dads stood at the door, having already been told to leave by their daughter.

Hiram hugged Leroy closer to him as they watched Rachel vomit violently into the toilet, her body heaving with each gag.

"Rachel, baby?" Leroy asked softly when it seemed the nausea had passed. "Are you okay?"

Rachel nodded, miserably, "Yeah, I'm okay dad."

"Are you sure?" Hiram joined his partner next to their daughter on the hard, white tiled bathroom floor. "The doctors said that sickness might be part of the trauma. I knew we sent you back to school too soon, we'll go away. Somewhere hot and warm, where you can sing and dance."

"No, papa, it's not school, I'm fine," She sighed and pushed herself up, her dads rushing to help. "I just think I ate something bad at school. I'm going to go to bed."

"It's eight-o-clock in the evening honey."

Rachel shrugged and smiled a small smile to try and appease them, gave them both a hug and escaped to her room, where she huddled down in the covers of her bed.

Each time she closed her eyes she could see it, the dark alleyway, the coarse shouts and laughter, the biting cold.

Her eyes snapped open again and she groaned, turning around to click on her bed side light. Fumbling with her iPod, she selected one of her Broadway soundtracks blindly, smiling a little when the opening lines of _No one Mourns the Wicked _from _Wicked_, blared through her speakers. Leaving her light on she huddled back into the covers, breathing deeply and forcing herself to concentrate on the lyrics of the song.

She had been to see this particular show on Broadway and it was one of her favourites for a long time. Idina Menzel and Kristen Chenoweth were two of her favourite artists on Broadway for a long while. She remembered how this scene had looked from her seats in the theatre; she went over the choreography, the lighting, the harmonies; the costumes, anything she could think of, again and again in her mind.

But no amount of music could help her whilst she dreamt.

**Xxx**

Hiram and Leroy stood at the doorway watching their daughter sleep. The light was on and the music that she had put on before entering slumber playing on continuous repeat.

"Not Spring Awakening," Leroy observed. "Was that deliberate, do you suppose?"

Hiram shrugged. "I don't know," He started towards her light.

"Stop," Leroy whispered and then said, as Hiram frowned curiously at him. "Let her keep it on, in case she wakes up in the night."

Hiram opened his mouth to protest them stopped. Who cared about the electricity when his little girl had been through what she'd been through?

**Xxx**

The next morning, the queasiness struck again. She was in the middle of a maths class and had felt the metallic taste that was always at the back of her mind rise up and rear its ugly head again.

Stumbling up to the front she addressed her teacher in a trembling whisper.

"May I be excused please Miss? I don't feel well."

Mrs Hall took in her pupils' pale face, hollow cheeks and unusually dull eyes. Figgins had been in to tell her today what was wrong with the Berry's girl. She had nothing but sympathy for the poor girl. Of course, being Figgins he was making his way leisurely around the staff, claiming that he had many things to do and that this girl was not his main priority.

"Of course Rachel,"

Half of the class turned to watch as Rachel hurried from the room, only able to abstain from running until she was outside the classroom door where she ran to the girls bathrooms, diving for the floor and puking into the bowl.

She wasn't sure when the tears started, maybe they had been going ever since she left the classroom, or if they only started once she slumped away from the toilet, kneeling on the floor.

The sound of the door banging open surprised her, making her turn to watch as another girl shot past her into a cubicle and was quietly sick.

Getting slowly to her feet she waited until the girl who had been past her returned and started at the sight of the dark haired figure.

"Santana?" She whispered and the cheerleader turned to look at her, surprised.

"You, what are you doing here, man hands?" Santana turned back to the sinks and rinsed her mouth and cheeks with cool water.

When Rachel didn't reply she took a step towards her and peered behind her.

"You missed the loo a bit." She smirked a little and Rachel flushed.

"You have better aim than me."

Santana shrugged, "Comes with practice, why were you throwing up, trying to lose weight and become fabulous like me?"

Rachel shook her head, glancing away from the girl.

"Look, Berry, I don't like you to be honest." Rachel looked up, startled, but Santana ignored her and carried on talking. "You're a loser, loud, bossy and you have no sense of style." Santana fixed her with an intense gaze. "Or at least, you _were_ loud and bossy, now, suddenly, you're all quiet and shy. So spit it out Berry, what's your problem?"

"Nothing," Rachel whispered, trying desperately to push that terrible night from her mind.

Santana frowned and when she spoke, her voice had lost any softness Rachel had imagined there. "Okay, well whatever it is, you'd better get over it, because, honestly Berry, you are our only chance at Regionals and if you don't get your act together then there will be no Glee club. So pull it together, loser."

Turning she strutted away and banged the door behind her. Sighing Rachel went to the cubicle and flushed away any evidence of what had happened.

Pulling her bag onto her back and hurrying from the bathroom she made her way to her next period, realising with surprise that she was late. Slipping into her history class unnoticed would not be possible, so she made the quickest possible entrance she could, racing from the door to her seat.

"Ah, Miss Berry," Professor Nolan peered at her a little, had Figgins told him something about this girl? Ha wasn't sure, he was so scatterbrained these days, he couldn't remember something if it hadn't happened more than ten years ago, so remembering this morning was difficult. He put it out of his mind, deciding he'd ask around the staff room after class.

"Nice of you to join us finally."

Rachel flushed and murmured. "I'm sorry sir, I felt ill."

"Indeed," The sarcasm was easy to spot and she bit back tears and a blush at the knowledge that everyone would be watching her now. "Write down the date please."

Glancing up at the board she started to obediently do what the Professor said and froze.

January 15th 2010.

_Oh God._

She was four days late.

This time she didn't ask for permission before she bolted from the room.

**Xxx**

Rachel perused the aisle full of pregnancy tests with caution, always on the look out for anyone she knew. There were so many, which was she supposed to choose?

Grabbing the closest package to her she hurried down to the till, which was, fortunately, deserted apart from the old man at the cashier.

Handing him the pregnancy test she could feel his disapproving glare burning into her back as she dug through her book bag for her money. Pushing it across the table to him, she grabbed the test, the panic that was building up inside her making numb to his comment to the woman beside him as she left:

"In my day girls were more careful."

She managed not to cry, which seemed to be a miracle as everything else made her burst into floods. Shoving the test in her book bag she hurried home, going upstairs and locking herself in her room, pulling the test out with trembling fingers.

Holding the white box in her hands she sat on the bed, staring down at it. She couldn't think, wouldn't allow herself to think about what would happen if it was… positive.

The slam of the front door made her jump about a foot off her bed, the box falling from her shaking hands to the floor.

"Hi honey!" Leroy, her dad, called up the stairs.

"H-Hi!" She managed to call back in a strangled voice, grasping for the box as the footsteps came up the stairs.

"You in your room sweetheart?"

"Y-Yes!" She called back, gripping the box in her sweaty grip and pulling open her bedside draw with a loud rattle.

"Great, I'll come up."

Shoving the box in the draw she called. "One second daddy." Slamming it shut she shoved her book bag under her bed and tried to compose her face into what she thought was an expression of at least mild sanity.

Opening the door she met her daddy on the stairs, "Hi daddy, how was your day?"

Her father regarded her with a worried expression that he tried and failed to cover. "Fine poppet, how was yours?"

"Great thanks!" She tried to inject some more vigour into her words and could tell from her dad's expression that she'd over done it a bit. Hurriedly toning down the chirpiness, she feigned a yawn, squeezing her eyes shut as she always did when she was tired. "I'm pooped though, can you cancel my appointment with the therapist? I'm going to take a nap."

"Of course Rache, I can cancel the appointment." He frowned. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," Rachel forced a smile onto her frozen face. "Just tired, see you later, tell papa I'm asleep okay?"

"Sure will," He nodded, "Sleep well sweetheart." Turning he walked down the stairs and Rachel escaped to her bedroom, shut the door firmly behind her. She turned her back on the door and surveyed her room slowly, her eyes finally fell on the bedside table. She forced herself to move her frozen muscles towards the bed, walking slowly.

Opening the draw she stared down at the small white box, so innocent, sitting between her journal that she never wrote in and her Barbra biography. Reaching down slowly she picked it up and sat on her bed, holding it out at arms length.

Certainty.

Well, at least she hadn't picked Baby-O-Metre. Slowly Rachel ripped through the cardboard, tearing slowly and almost quietly, despite the fact that her dad was downstairs and had the radio on. Tipping it upright she watched as out fell two pregnancy tests and a folded sheet of instruction onto the pink and yellow spotted comforter she'd had since she was nine.

Reaching out with a shaking hand she picked up the instructions and unfolded them, reading through only to put off the moment when she'd have to do the one thing every teenage girl dreads.

Finally she put the instructions back in the box and shoved on of the tests in with it, pushing the box back in her draw and snatching the other test up in her hand. She walked quickly now, taking those few steps across the room to the bathroom. Flicking on the switch she walked a little slower now, her whole body shaking.

_It won't be… you know… __**positive… **__it can't be._

Taking the stick in her hand she followed the instructions to the letter. Now all she had to do was wait…

It couldn't be. There was no way. She just had a stomach bug. She was late because of the trauma she suffered from the Incident. That's what her therapist had said might happen. And anyway, even if you do… it, there's only like a twenty percent chance of getting… you know. Hadn't she seen something somewhere that babies didn't often develop if the… you know… it… wasn't willing.

Even she knew she was lying to herself, trying to ease the nerves that made her feel as if she was going to be sick again.

Sixty seconds must have been by now.

Turning she grabbed the test from behind her and peered at it.

**Positive.**

_No._

_No way._

Dropping the offending test on the floor with a clatter she fled from the bathroom, pulling open her draw and grabbing the second test in her shaking hands. There was only a 99% accuracy after all.

_The stupid thing must be broken._

Running back to the bathroom she followed the instructions for the second time and sat, waiting once again, trying to stop her gaze from shifting to the test still left on the floor. There was no way she could be pregnant, not from this, surely it was not possible.

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2…" She stopped for a moment, squeezing her eyes closed and reaching with a trembling hand to take the test off and hold it in her hand. "1." She whispered.

The little white stick felt cool in her hands as she sat, frozen in place, her eyes still squeezed shut, as if hoping she could block out reality. Time ticked on and finally, slowly, she peeled back one eyelid, then another.

The test clattered to the floor with the first as it fell from her limp hands. Positive.

If she was being honest with herself she had already known it to be true, like some gut instinct she couldn't recognise. The second test had all been and pretence, trying to fool herself into security. As she sat, still frozen, she felt her hopes and dreams drop away from her, the sickening drop of her stomach as the painful truth crashed down around her.

She was pregnant.

Almost on autopilot she bent to retrieve the two tests that had condemned her for life, surprised to find that, even in her state, she was moving more carefully, obviously trying to protect the foetus growing inside her. Her child.

Wrapping the tests in toilet roll she went into her room, the sight of the girlish wallpaper and innocent teddy bears lined up in a row on her sofa making the tears start to well up again, falling silently down her cheeks. Dropping her tests in the bright pink bin she moved back to the bed, sitting silently onto the comforter.

Emotion would come, she knew: panic, sadness, anger, maybe even happiness, who knew?

But for now, for now she would bathe in blissful numbness and be thankful for small mercies.

**Xxx**

The morning sickness hit for the fourth time during Glee Club. She had to call it that; there was no denying that that was what it was. She sat of in her corner as always and was watching as Kurt performed a Madonna number, although she was unsure which one it was, not really listening. It struck suddenly this time, so much so that she had no time to give any warning to anyone as she wrenched herself from her seat and flung herself out of the room.

It was close that time, she was nearly too late. Her breathing hitched and cracked as she tried not cry. There was no doubt she was getting better at aiming though. She should be, she was getting a whole lot of practice.

Pushing herself off the floor she crossed the room quickly and paused for a moment, gathering her breath and starting into the corridor.

She stopped by her locker, unloading her books in weary silence, slamming the door shut only to come face to face with one Quinn Fabray.

"Rachel."

Rachel's eyes widened at the ex-cheerleader's hard expression and she nodded once in response.

"Why were you throwing up?"

Rachel gaped at her for a moment and then glared. "I was not." She huffed angrily, hugging her binders close to her chest.

"Don't lie, I saw how you looked running from the choir room."

"I didn't look like anything thank you very much Quinn Fabray." Rachel snapped, furiously trying to hide her guilt.

"Don't lie to me Rachel!"

"I'm not!"

A few students passing stopped to look at them and the two girls quietened, Rachel staring at her shoes, Quinn giving the passers by her HBIC glare that she had obtained from her cheerleading days, until they shuffled away.

"Mind your own business Quinn." Rachel said, sharply, once the on lookers had gone and turned sharply on her heel, marching down the corridor, away from her team mate.

Quinn leant against the lockers, staring after her.

There was something up with Rachel Berry.

**Xxx**

Rachel Berry couldn't deny it any longer. It had been a week she had taken the pregnancy test and despite constant research for potential illnesses she could find no other reason for her vomiting and constant mood swings. Plus, she was now really, really late.

Surprisingly the realisation, that came late one Friday night when she'd collapsed into bed after hours of fruitless searching, was not that much of a shock. Perhaps she'd always known that she was with child, the mother's instinctive knowledge or something. Whatever it was, her resignation to it was easier than she had imagined.

Also, now that the stubborn reluctance to believe had been removed, the numbness too had disappeared, allowing her to finally feel emotion.

Panic, of course, had been her initial response. What was she supposed to do? Did she tell her dads? What would she tell people? How would she keep the Incident secret if she was harbouring a child?

Then a vary of different emotions, anger, at the people who did this to her, against her will. The people, or person, who made it impossible for her to continue as a normal teenager. Impossible to ever tell her baby who his or her father is. Worry, how was she ever supposed to take care of a child? She was barely a child herself.

The logical conclusion was to have an abortion, but just the thought of having some stranger kill the child in her stomach made her cringe. No, abortion wasn't an option. So what? Adoption? Maybe. She couldn't see there being a way of her keeping the child, it just wasn't plausible.

But then, there was a strange tenderness, an instinctive softening towards the being inside her, despite its parentage. It wasn't the baby's fault that its father had been a drunken idiot and it had its mother.

She would never do any harm to her baby, she realised; there was nothing in the world strong enough to make her. Anything and everything she did now would be going towards the good of her baby.

Placing her hands gently over her stomach Rachel rolled over and drifted to sleep.

**Xxx**

**This chapter just had to be changed around a bit was all guys, sorry if the update confused anyone. **

**A quick thanks to the reviewer who pointed out the mistake, they have been resolved. **

**Okay… thanks for reviewing guys, you don't have to re read this, nothing that major has changed.**

**:)**

**Bye for now :)**

**Love**

**Ray**

**xxx**


	3. Chapter 2

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**Thanks for the reviews guys- they mean so much to me- please keep on giving me them :) **

**Xxx**

How long had it been since she'd had a decent nights sleep? Rachel couldn't quite remember, but at least this time, she thought miserably, as she sat, almost drooping over her chair, in the McKinely High School Choir Room, it was for a purpose. She'd finally managed to get her Glee Club assignment done, which was helpful, as she was the last to perform and would evidently be forced to do so today.

She knew that everyone thought she was holding out on them for a reason, that she had prepared some huge number that was all glitz and glam, but they would be disappointed.

The choir room filled up quickly, each person who entered pausing to cast her curious glances. Mercedes and Kurt, she could see, were discussing her, taking moments between talking to glance at her, not bothering to hide it.

She didn't mind.

Mr Shue entered last, as seemed to be custom and Rachel allowed herself to wonder for a second what always held him up.

"Hey guys!" He grinned out at the Glee Club, who, for the most part, greeted him just as enthusiastically in return. "So, we're almost done with our assignment we just need one more performance." He turned, along with the rest of the club, towards Rachel. "Rachel?"

Rachel nodded, standing awkwardly and walking out to the front of the room. The song she was about to perform was risky, she knew, but she doubted that any of her fellow students had ever heard of it and there was really nothing better for her situation.

She nodded towards the band and turned away as the opening tones played, unable to look at them. This was one of the first times she had sung since… the Incident and definitely the first time singing to an audience. Taking a deep, shaky breath she sang the first lines in a slightly wavering voice.

"_Whispering. Here the ghosts in the moonlight. Sorrow doing a new dance through their bone, through their skin…"_

She shivered, gulping back the lump in her throat and turning to face her audience. __

"Listening, to the souls in the fool's night,"

__She sang the verse softly, slowly, her voice swelling with emotion.

"_And there's heart ache without end,"_

She gulped back the emotion that threatened to pull her down.

"_Sister crumbles, and the neighbours grumble, the preacher issues warnings…"_

__The tears came then and she turned away again quickly, trying to avoid the curious glances.

_"History. Little miss didn't do right. Went and ruined all the true plans. Such a shame. Such a sin…"  
_

Taking a quivering breath you continued to sing, her voice quavering._  
_

"_Harvest moon over the blue land  
Summer longing on the wind…"_

__ From behind her she could hear the muted, murmured conversations that were going on and tried top ignore them, squeezing her eyes shut again.

" _And I let him love me.  
So let that be my story."_

Her stomach fluttered at this, bringing up another bout of hysteria that she tried desperately to swallow back.

_"Listening. For the hope, for the new life. Something beautiful, a new chance,"_

Her voice dropped to a coarse whisper as she turned slowly.

"_Hear its whispering. There again."  
_

Her voice broke on the last word and she cringed as she felt the tears break through her barrier and spill over her eyes and down her face. The silence in the room was deafening as the Glee Club members watched her uncomfortably.

Turning, she felt the unusual blush threaten to heat her face again and bent her head against the embarrassment, hurrying away to her seat.

"Uh, well, thank you Rachel," Mr Shue seemed lost for words at her performance.

The sharp ringing of the bell was almost a relief as the Glee clubbers hurried from the room, none of them making eye contact with Rachel, except Quinn, who, surprisingly, gave her a small smile and Finn, who followed her out of the room.

She tried to drop him in the crowds, but he kept up easily, moving up beside her as she weaved in and out of the students quickly filling the corridors and stopped beside her locker.

"So, how you doing Rache?" He leant in front of her and watched almost cautiously as she dug her books out of her bag.

Pulling them out she shoved the two textbooks into her locker, trying to stop her expression twisting at the question.

_How are you feeling?_

Scared for my baby, angry with the father, confused as to what I'm going to do, violated in every possible way, conflicted, because I do love my baby, no matter what and panicked just at the thought of the future.

"Fine," She answered, her voice quiet as she shut her locker and started to walk past him.

He kept up easily with his long legs and she contemplated that, for the first time, it wasn't her trying to keep up with him.

"So," He spoke awkwardly. "I was wondering," They were out of the main rush now and she turned to face him as he spoke.

He rubbed his hand against the back of his head, like he did when he was nervous and she asked, curiously.

"What's wrong Finn?"

"Well, after that whole thing with Quinn," He moved on quickly, "well, what I mean to say," He seemed uncommonly nervous around the brunette, which was surprising, "Is that, well, I'm free now, so I was wondering if you'd like to, you know, like, hook up sometime?"

Rachel glanced away from him, that new, easy blush springing to her face again as she bit her lip, embarrassed.

"I… don't know Finn."

"What?" Finn's eyebrow shot up, surprise widening his eyes. "But, before Christmas, you seemed so into me, I thought this was what you wanted…"

He trailed off and Rachel avoided his gaze, turning away a little. What was she supposed to say? _I'm carrying a baby in my stomach, but I have no idea who the father is, _the diva in her sprung a little at this opportunity, _because I was cruelly violated and traumatized for life._

Maybe not.

"Some things…" Rachel struggled over the words, deliberating carefully over each one. "Just happened over Christmas and I have found myself in a state of affairs that doesn't really promote boyfriends at the moment."

Finn looked blank for a moment, before finally saying. "Does that mean that you won't go out with me?"

"It's more that I can't…"

"There's someone else!" Finn exploded glaring at her with such rage that she shrunk back. "There's some other guy isn't there, what is it, is he bigger than me?"

"No," Rachel cried, her hands automatically flying down to protect her stomach, before realising that Finn had first hand experience with pregnant teens and he would notice this in a second. Dropping her hands away from her stomach she clenched them together behind her back and resisted the erg to replace them. "No Finn, there's no one else, I swear!"

"What is it then?"

"I'm just… I'm not ready for a boyfriend at the moment." She bit back the twinge of guilt she felt as she watched Finn's face droop.

_He's not the pregnant one._

**Xxx**

Later that day, when she came out of her final period, she was surprised to see Mr Shue waiting outside her classroom and asked him, blankly.

"I'm sorry sir, is there something wrong?"

"It's okay Rachel, I was just wondering if I could have a word before you left?"

Rachel nodded and followed him up the now almost deserted corridor, breaking the uncomfortable silence by asking.

"Is there something wrong with my Spanish homework sir? Because I really did try, I just find it hard to get my head around the verbs…"

"No, your Spanish was fine Rachel," He had led her into his office and guided her into a chair, telling her to sit down and perching on the desk in a way that made Rachel think of her dads. "Principle Figgins told me about your… situation."

Rachel gulped and avoided the teachers gaze, her own expression panic stricken. What must he think of her now? She had always tried so hard not to break down in front of anyone at school and now Principle Figgins was making all of her hard work useless.

"Who else knows?" She whispered finally.

Mr Shue bit his lip before finally admitting. "Most of the staff, or at least, all those who teach you."

Rachel closed her eyes as the pain spread through her. She had tried so hard, _so hard_ to hide this from everyone and now all the teachers knew. They had probably gone home and discussed at with their families and their children had discussed it with their friends and it was about the whole school by now. She paled at that thought and took a deep breath to keep from fainting- that would not help her situation at all.

"They were sworn to secrecy Rachel."

The panic that was constricting her chest so tightly she almost couldn't breath, slackened a little and she gave a little sigh before answering.

"Thank you."

"Rachel, I want to talk to you, about your song choice for today."

Rachel paled all over again and gasped as the realisation struck her. She had counted on none of the kids knowing, not even Broadway fashionista Kurt, but she hadn't even thought to think of Mr Shue. Mr Shue didn't listen to Broadway, in her mind he was a classic rock person through and through. But he knew, _he knew_, and with all that Figgins had told him, he would add two and two together.

"I didn't think you'd know it." She muttered, staring away so that he couldn't see her tears.

"It's one of the few Broadway musicals I've been to see, I very much admired the young woman who played Wendla; I thought her talent was incredible." He raised an eyebrow. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that _you_ know it."

She stayed silent.

"Rachel, is there anything you want to tell me?"

She shook her head quickly, almost curtly again, glaring at the floor.

There was a long awkward silence that she finally broke by saying, irritably. "Are we done here sir? You've humiliated me thoroughly and I have a ballet class to get to. Can I go?"

He opened his mouth to reply before sighing and nodding slowly. "Yes," She shot out of the chair, only to be pulled up short by his hand on her wrist. "But remember Rachel, I'm always here. Me or Miss Pillsbury, the guidance councillor, if you want to talk."

Rachel resisted the erg to snort and nodded silently, pulling her wrist gently free and hurrying from the room. The school was deserted now and as she walked she could see teachers peering from their classrooms to see her. Pain flashed through her as their expressions became sympathetic, pitying.

She walked faster, keeping her head down and breaking into a run as she got closer towards the door. It was stifling in here, she couldn't breath. A deep laugh from down the corridor made her jump and she turned, sprinting through the doors and out to the parking lot.

Taking deep breaths of air into her strangled lungs she finally managed to take in her surroundings. Only her car was left in the parking lot and she started towards it more quickly. The bang of a door slamming shut made her jump and turn to look back at the school. Three of the windows had faces in, all peering down to look at her, their faces a picture of pity.

She felt the tears come and made no move to stop them as they ran down her cheeks and she turned and fled to her car, pulling open the door and slamming it shut, dropping her book bag haphazardly on the passenger seat.

Driving was dangerous in her condition, so after she'd been beeped five times she stopped, pulling into the parking lot of an abandoned factory. Leaning forward, she tried to breathe deeply, to push the tears away, but after a few minutes of struggling she gave up and let them flow, finding it easier.

What was she doing? Sitting alone in her car crying in an empty parking lot? This wasn't how it was supposed to go, she was supposed to come back after Christmas, drill the Glee club for Regionals and hook up with Finn to make the ultimate power couple.

Not for the first time in her life she wished she had never gone out that night.

But inside her, a nagging thought drew her to the baby. If she'd stayed at home watching Funny Girl and reruns of Oprah she wouldn't have Baby.

**Xxx**

When Hiram Berry opened the door that cold January morning, he was surprised to see a young man whom he had never seen before stood outside on his front porch. He slipped around the door a little and glanced subtly back into the house to see the Leroy, his life partner, was sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper, only a few metres away if need be. Not that he would be able to help much, but every little and all that.

Turning to regard the young man again, Hiram realised that the boy didn't look that much like he was going to jump him in any second.

"Yes?" Hiram asked, warily. "How can I help you?"

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but I'm looking for the Berry's, a Hiram Berry and a Leroy Berry, am I at the right place?" The young man was well spoken, his voice, deep and blossomed, tinged with the ring of vocal training just as Rachel's was.

"Yes, I'm Hiram, what can I do for you?"

"I'm here to enquire about your daughter, Miss Rachel Berry? You see, I was the one that found her that night."

Hiram's mouth dropped open and he stared at the man for a second.

He shifted awkwardly for a moment, before extracting a slip of paper from the huge overcoat he wore as protection from the cold. "I have a witness, one of the nurses recognised me and she's willing act as my witness. I, of course, understand your wariness." He held out the paper to Hiram and he took it unthinkingly, scanning through the quick and scruffily written statement.

"Of course," He said, faintly, when he could finally articulate, the stepped aside. "Please, come in er…"

"Jesse, Jesse St James." The boy supplied and stepped across the threshold with a smile.

"Who is it Hiram?" Leroy called, looking up in surprise to see the stranger stood in his hallway.

"This is Mr St James-"

"Jesse," Jesse cut in, smiling charmingly.

"Right, Jesse," Hiram amended. "He's the one who found Rachel, he came to ask about her."

"Oh," Leroy scrambled from his seat, "She's not in, I'm afraid, but she should be home from school soon, if you'd like to wait for her?"

"Thank you, I would like that," Jesse admitted, following Hiram into the living room that was decorated in a pale cream colour.

"Have a seat," Hiram offered Jesse the arm chair and the young man took it as Hiram sunk into the couch.

"Can I get you anything, coffee, tea, water?" Leroy appeared at the door.

"I don't want to trouble you." Jesse started, shaking his head slightly.

"Nonsense," Leroy interrupted, "I'm making a pot of coffee now," He coaxed slyly, "and I know you must be cold, it's freezing outside."

"Well…" He looked uncertain for a second before sighing in defeat and saying. "Okay, thank you, coffee would be wonderful."

"Wonderful." Leroy repeated, smiling smugly, before bustling off.

Hiram smiled after him tenderly, the soft affection in his expression startling Jesse for a moment.

"That," Hiram said, turning back to the boy. "Is my partner, Leroy, if you hadn't already guessed."

"Oh, right," Jesse nodded, "Your daughter is lucky to have two such loving parents."

"Thank you," Hiram smiled as his husband brought the tray of coffee in, placing it on the table. Looking at it Jesse was startled to see that there was a pot of coffee, three mugs, a small pottery jug that held milk and a delicate pot with cubes of sugar in it, along with the small tongs he thought you could only get of cafes.

"How do you like your coffee?" Leroy asked, smiling at him.

"Uh," Jesse cleared his throat, surprisingly nervous. "Milky, thank you, no sugar." He had taken sugar, before he started Vocal Adrenaline, now just the thought of it made him feel sick.

Then again, he couldn't help but think that the Glee Club's director, Shelby, would most likely murder him on the spot if she ever found out. She caught a guy eating a packet of gummy worms during one of Vocal Adrenaline's rehearsals and kicked him out on the spot.

"Here," He was handed the hot mug and he breathed in the scent of the drink appreciatively.

"Thanks,"

"So, Hiram turned to him as his partner sat beside him on the sofa, "how old are you Jesse?"

"Eighteen."

"And where do you go to school?" Leroy asked, leaning around the other man.

"Carmel High."

"Ah," The two men nodded, "Our Rachel goes to McKinely High School."

"What do you want to do?" Leroy questioned and Hiram added quickly.

"If you don't mind us asking?"

"Not at all." He replied, smiling at their inquisitiveness. "I would like to go into Broadway, I'm in the Carmel Glee Club, Vocal Adrenaline and we've won the national title three years running."

"Oh," Hiram cast Leroy a glance, before turning back to their guest. "Rachel wants to go into Broadway, she's really very good," Jesse had to doubt this. No doubt the girl was good, but what with it being her parents saying it… "She's in her Glee club, at McKinely." Hiram was speaking.

"But you know," Leroy cut in. "The last man who ran it, that Sandy fellow, he wasn't very good, in fact in the end he was kicked out. They've got a new man, a Mr Schuster, who sounds a lot better."

"Right," Jesse nodded, slightly taken aback. "So, how is Rachel?"

They sighed and exchanged a glance. "She tries to seem fine, she never says anything, but there are little things that make it obvious she's suffering the trauma."

"Which is completely normal." Hiram interjected.

"Of course," Jesse nodded.

"I mean," Leroy continued, "she always used to sing around the house, but now, now she's always quiet, I barely ever hear her singing. And, she sleeps with the light on now and music playing through the night. She doesn't talk to us, and I know she really just wants to protect us, but she always used to tell us everything. And now…"

Jesse sighed, taking a sip out of his coffee and swilling it around his mouth for a second, before saying. "Well, obviously, I understand why she might feel like that." He clenched and unclenched his hands nervously. "But, I'd still like to meet your daughter, to ask her how she is, you know?"

The pair exchanged a long glance, before Leroy said slowly. "Well, I don't see how it could hurt…"

"As long as you respect her and what she's been through." Hiram cut in, frowning.

"Of course," Jesse nodded, earnestly.

"Well, when she's back I'll introduce you."

The slam of a door that accompanied his acceptance silenced them all. There was a flurry of footsteps going up the stairs and a small bang as a door was shut.

"That'll be Rachel," Hiram sighed and turned back to Jesse, seeming apologetic. "I'll go and see if she's alright."

Jesse nodded, smiling a tight, nervous smile.

Hiram hurried up the stairs and knocked cautiously on his daughter's door. "Rachel, sweetheart?" He called tentatively.

"One moment!" He heard her reply and waited for a second, before the door was opened and she stood in front of him.

She was small, smaller even, than Leroy, long, brunette locks falling down her shoulders in random curls. Her face was paler than normal, making her lips seem even redder and large mahogany eyes were red rimmed, like she'd been crying.

"You okay honey?" He asked, anxious.

"Yeah," She smiled brightly, but, being her papa, he could see the dullness in her eyes. "I'm fine."

"That's great, good day at school?" He waited as she considered.

"It was okay."

Inwardly, he sighed. His daughter had been so bright and bubbily before the incident that seeing her like this was hard for the both of them.

But he said. "Great." Clearing his throat a little, he said. "There's someone downstairs sweetie. A young man who says he was the one who found you."

She had paled considerably and he regretted speaking, wishing that he could take the words back.

"Are you sure papa?" She whispered finally.

He didn't need to ask what she meant.

"Yes honey, he has a witness from the hospital and your dad just discovered a voice mail from one of the head nurses saying that she had met the boy and that he is who he says."

"Okay," She was clinging to the doorframe now, as if it was the one thing keeping her alive.

"He wants to meet you."

"What?" Her head snapped up to look at him. "Why?"

"To see you honey," Hiram replied, "To meet you and see how you are."

"Do I have to?" These words were whispered and Hiram cringed at the pain held in them.

"He's here and I think he walked, although I'm not sure. It would be the polite thing."

There was a long silence until she finally nodded her head. "Okay…"

Turning she followed her papa down the stairs. It was odd how terrified she felt of this one man. She knew he was the one who found her, there was evidence and the poor man had probably walked there, just to see if she was alright.

It was just… When her papa had said there was a man downstairs she couldn't help but think that he, whoever he was, had come back for more.

Shaking the absurd thoughts from her mind, she followed her papa into the living room, where he went and sat with her dad at the far end of the sofa and she was forced to take a seat at the opposite end. The end nearest to the armchair. The end nearest to the boy.

He had looked up when she came in, but it wasn't until she was sat down that she turned to look at him.

A pale face with a chiselled jaw and smoky green eyes was framed by curling brown hair, a few ringlets fell around his face and he brushed them away with well practised impatience. His large dark coat was open, showing a soft brightly coloured scarf that caught her eye. He held out a hand hesitantly, and when he spoke, his voice like melted the chocolate, she immediately recognised the fullness from her own training.

"Hello, I'm Jesse."

**Xxx**

**Another quick change guys, nothing to worry about. **

**Hoping this isn't bothering anyone :)**

**Love**

**Ray**

**xxx**


	4. Chapter 3

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**Thanks for the reviews guys :) They mean a lot to me. **

**I am such an idiot, I completely forgot to mention that this story goes from Series 1 episode 13 (the Sectionals episode). Please forgive me for being so forgetful. :)**

**Oh by the way- what do you think of the chapter lengths? Too long, too short, what? :)**

**Read and enjoy. **

**xxx**

"_Hello, I'm Jesse."_

She regarded him for a moment before taking a tentative step forward and slowly placing her hand in his. His hand was soft, which was surprising for a boy and far larger than her own; with long fingers.

"Hi," She murmured, softly.

"You must be Rachel?" He asked, releasing her hand gently and Rachel found herself missing the warmth it had brought.

"Erm, yes, that's me." She cringed as an awkward silence settled on the room.

"We'll just go and make some more coffee and start on dinner." Herim said, subtly pulling his partner from the room.

Rachel watched them go, nibbling anxiously on her lower lip.

"So, how are you?" The question made her jump, turning back to look at the boy beside her.

"I, uh, I'm fine." She stumbled over her words a little.

"Your have a very nice home; a lovely family." He complimented, smiling.

"Thank you, they're very supportive." She glanced towards the kitchen.

"Your dads tell me you're in a glee club?" He prompted, after another moment of silence.

"Yeah, McKinely High," She frowned a little, "Do you know it?"

"I know of it," He smiled.

"Do you go to McKinely? I've never seen you around…" She asked, curiously.

"No," He shook his head, "I go to Carmel High and I'm part of Vocal Adrenaline."

"Really?" For the first time since she had arrived he saw her eyes flare with light, just for a second. "You're an amazing group!"

"Thank you," He smiled again at the praise.

"So you're Jesse St James?" She leaned closer, interested.

"Yes," He frowned, confused. "You know of me?"

"I saw your Sectionals; you did Don't Stop Me Now, by Queen right?"

"Yes," He replied, pleasantly surprised. "We tend to do a lot of classic rock, but sometimes I wish we would do something else."

"Oh," Rachel unconsciously leaned closer, her eyes sparking again with that light that he'd noticed earlier. "I understand completely. Our director, Mr Schuster, seems to like to create teaching moments by ruining my life."

He smiled, amused. "Really, how does he do that?"

"He likes to believe in 'a fair chance for everyone'," Rachel rolled her eyes. "He likes to dish out the solos to people who don't deserve them. We would do so much better if he just listened to my suggestions, after all, which out of us has been in training for the arts all of her life?"

Jesse frowned and shook his head. "Ridiculous."

"I know," Rachel smiled. "So, what do you wish you did, instead of classic rock I mean?"

Jesse shrugged, averting his eyes and casting her a self conscious glance. "I don't know, I like everything really, but we barely do any Broadways and there are so many good ones out there, I just think that we could, you know, do some more of that."

Rachel beamed at him, "I agree! I love Broadway."

He looked back to her, pleasantly surprised. "You love it too?"

"Of course," She slipped from the sofa and hurried across the room, sliding out a drawer. He followed curiously and knelt on the carpet beside her. The draw was filled with DVDs, all musicals, ordered in alphabetical order and the remakes were ordered in time order.

"Organised." He commented, smiling a little.

She flushed and glanced at him anxiously. "I know, I just uh…"

"Don't apologise." He cut in smoothly. "It's okay, it's good to be organised, one of the best skills for life. Every future star needs to know that."

She looked up at him, surprised and he seemed shocked himself that he had just said that.

"I, uh, I didn't mean…" He trailed off as she broke into a large smile.

"Knowing what you want is important too." She smiled and he nodded, a slow grin growing on his face.

"Would you like to watch one?" She asked, hesitantly, after a moments' silence.

He cocked his head curiously before smiling and nodding. "Sure, that sounds… good." The sincerity of his tone was hard to doubt so she looked slowly back down to the draw and gestured to it.

"Do you want to pick?"

"No," He shook his head quickly. "Ladies first."

She smiled at him, the pleasure shining through her eyes at his charm.

"Okay, erm… West Side Story." She finally decided. It was hard to know what he'd like, but West Side Story had a bit of everything, so it was quite a safe choice.

"Excellent choice." He complimented and she looked up to smile at him again as she put the disk in the machine.

"Thank you." She smiled, clambering to her feet and watching as he followed her. She moved to sit on the couch, pausing as he went to sit on the chair he had vacated. "You, uh, you can sit beside me if you want to."

He turned, shocked, as she sat gently down on the couch. "Really?" He asked finally.

"Yes," Rachel heard herself say. She was confused. Since 'The Incident' she had been reserved, especially around men. But Jesse was different; she didn't feel at all uncomfortable around him. It was natural, almost like breathing.

"Okay." He sat beside her, obviously careful not to touch her.

She picked the remote from the coffee table and set the disk playing. As the film played they slowly, almost unconsciously relaxed, moving slowly closer to each other, until finally their arms were touching. Rachel started to forget that there was a boy sat beside her, something that she hadn't done since before Christmas.

When Tony began to sing, she barely noticed as Jesse started to sing softly along with him.

"_Maria_,_" _His voice was soft, loving, caressing the word and she looked up at him as his singing got louder, turning to see that he hadn't looked away from the screen.

His expression caused Rachel's breath to hitch in her throat.

"_All the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word._"

His face was twisted with love, happiness and joy, his eyes glowing as he stared into the middle distance, barely watching anymore. And now, beside her there was no longer Jesse St James, a boy she had only just met, there was Tony, a young man completely besotted with a girl he loves and unable to see anything else.

She watched as he sang, unable to turn away. After what seemed like both years and seconds, the song ended and he cast a sheepish glance at her, smiling a little. She smiled back, leaning unconsciously a little closer as they continued to watch.

As the pair began the balcony scene she started to talk along with them, as she always did. The moment the words left her mouth she regretted them, glancing up at Jesse anxiously.

He smiled at her and, to her amazement, replied with the next line.

A smile grew over her face as they spoke, until finally, they came to the song she sang, cautiously.

"_Only you, you're the only think I see, forever,"_ She glanced at him worriedly, and relaxed when she saw a blinding smile on his face and his nod of encouragement._ "In my eyes in my world, and in everything I do, forever, nothing else but you, ever…"_

In that smooth, deep voice, he replied. _"And there's nothing for me but Maria…" _

Together they sang through the song, completely submerged in the music. When finally the last notes came to a gentle halt they turned to each other and exchanged a small smile that slowly grew into a grin.

"You have a beautiful voice." Jesse was the first to break the silence.

"Thank you," Rachel smiled. "So do you."

The conversation lulled naturally as Herim stuck his head around the door, the smile on his face almost smug.

"Beautiful." Was all he said, before continuing, "Dinner is ready."

"Oh," Jesse pushed himself up, casting a smile towards Rachel. "I'd better go, I'm sorry to have disturbed you."

"No!" Rachel jumped up after him, cringing when she thought of the child inside her. "Don't go, join us." She cast an anxious glance at her father who nodded encouragingly. "We'd like to have you," she added, smiling self consciously.

"Well," Jesse cast a glance towards Herim, who smiled. "If you're sure you don't mind and I won't be intruding…"

"Of course not." Rachel hurried to reassure him, following her papa into the kitchen with Jesse following behind her.

**xxx**

The rest of the evening went smoothly. More than smoothly, in fact, Rachel reflected as she lay on her bed that night. Jesse and her father's had gotten on superbly, and she and Jesse, despite the awkward start, were extremely comfortable with each other. He was nice, Rachel decided, rolling over. They had talked a little during dinner and had found that even in those few words they had a lot in common. Afterwards they had sat together on the sofa and watched the end of the film. She had even felt comfortable enough to lay her head on his shoulder for a few moments.

Yes, Rachel smiled into the light of the room, things had gone smoothly. Not completely smoothly though, a small voice in the back of her mind, the one she had managed to ignore up until now, piped up. There had been one rough patch, Rachel conceded, when she was walking him to the door.

He had turned to her and said. "This was fun."

Smiling up at him, she nodded, replying. "Yes, it was."

"We should do it again some time."

She stiffened; surely he didn't mean that he wanted them to… go out? Surely not! She had just had to reject Finn because of this, why, oh why, had this boy felt the need to ask too? This wonderful, amazing boy, who she could quite happily have been friends with for the rest of her life…

"Not like that!" He broke her thoughts and she looked up to see that he had stopped too and was looking down at her, almost shocked. "No, I just meant that we could be friends."

"Oh," She was unable to think of any other response.

"I would never suggests that we, you know, after everything that's happened." She smiled at him, grateful and led him further to the door, opening it so that he could step out. He turned around once he was on the porch, leaving her stood in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe.

"What's your number?" He asked, smiling, charmingly.

"Oh," Rachel reached into her pocket and pulled out her mobile, looking up when he pulled the device gently from her hands.

He smiled reassuringly and starting pressing buttons, after a minute or so he handed it back and Rachel felt her eyebrow rise questioningly.

"You have my number." He replied in answer.

She smiled unwillingly at his cockiness. "What if I didn't want your number?" She teased, surprised as the words came out of her mouth. She had never been able to tease boys, or people even, but with Jesse it felt right… natural.

Jesse laid a hand to his heart, adopting an offended expression. "Why wouldn't you want the number of your new best friend?"

She smiled, conceding victory and murmured, "fair enough," as she scrolled through her contacts list, rolling her eyes slightly when she saw that he had placed an 'a' in front of his name to make it appear top on the list.

Selecting his number she pressed call, watching with satisfaction as his phone rang and waiting until he had found it in one of the millions of pockets in his coat and was about to answer before putting it down and looking up to his confused face, smirking and saying. "Now you have mine too."

The confusion cleared and he grinned, "Nicely played."

"Thank you," She smiled. "One tries."

"I will call you Rachel Berry, Sleep well." He smiled and turned away.

"You too!" Rachel called down the street towards him.

Later that evening as she got ready for bed she found that he had sent her a text.

_Sleep well Berry_.

She smiled, almost grinning at his nickname for her.

_You too St James._

Yes, Rachel thought as she slipped into slumber, that had gone very smoothly. And as she slept she did not dream.

**xxx**

If you didn't know Rachel Berry you wouldn't have noticed the change in her that next day. In fact, not many people had ever bothered to get to know her, so there were only a few people who noticed.

Mr Shue was the first. He was keeping a close eye on the girl after their conversation the afternoon before and was surprised to see that she had a little of the sparkle back in her eyes, the colour back in her cheeks. She even made a tentative suggestion in Glee club about how they could alter the choreographing of one of their dance numbers, something which the Glee club itself was so relieved to hear that they barely moaned at all.

The second was her dads. Actually, they noticed it from the moment Jesse St James met her. She had been singing and chatting comfortably with him and they immediately saw how good he was for her, how much better she seemed when she was with him. Her eyes were glowing and she was smiling. Also, that morning, for the first time since 'the Incident' they had heard her up on the elliptical again, a routine that used to be daily and one that she was discontinued after the accident.

The third, surprisingly enough, was Quinn Fabray. The pregnant teenager had noticed the change in her team mate, especially after their discussion in the bathroom. She had softened considerably towards the other girl, particularly after hearing that she had rejected Finn's attempt to start a relationship with her. The hard resentment and hatred the ex-cheerleader had one held for the brunette girl had disappeared leaving her with the odd and awkward beginnings of a friendship. So Quinn was glad to see that Rachel was changing.

There was no doubt for all these people that the Rachel they knew, the happy, ever optimistic, chatterbox Rachel, was slowly, but surely returning.

**xxx**

It was two days later when Rachel got another text from Jesse. It was around 4 in the afternoon and she had just returned from school and come up to her room after sharing her day with her fathers.

_Sorry it took me so long to get in touch. What are your thoughts on desert Berry? Meet me at Al's Shake Hut asap…_

_I'll be waiting on you._

Herim and Leroy were not sure if they wanted her to go. She hadn't been out alone, except to go to school, since 'the Incident'. But the newly returned sparkle in her eyes convinced them and they let her out with strict instructions to be back before it got dark.

Once she arrived at the desert shop, Rachel hesitated outside. He didn't think this was a date did he? They were just friends.

Her phone beeped and she looked down to find another text.

_I see you out there, come on, I've already ordered for you and you cant leave me sitting here on my own like a lonely little boy, it's humiliating and just plain mean._

Even through the phone she could practically hear his teasing tone and his pretence of sadness. Sighing she parked and made her way inside the bright, warm shop that seemed to push away the damp weather outside.

Jesse was one of the only people in there and it was true, he was sat at a table for two.

"How kind of you to grace me with your presence Miss Berry," He was stood up, by his chair and smiled as she walked over, moving to her chair and pulling it out for her.

She grinned at him and seated herself elegantly, playing along as she said. "Well, Mr St James, one must think of the laws of polite society."

"Indeed," He agreed from behind her, pushing her chair in with smooth grace, before taking his own seat opposite her.

"So, you ordered for me?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Of course, just as any gentleman would do." He smiled and then, with perfect timing, the waiter appeared, bringing over a giant slice of chocolate cake. "Double chocolate and berries, vegan of course." He smirked at his own joke and she had to say she was impressed, leaning back as the waiter deposited the massive plate before her.

"Impressive." She smiled, picking up the long handled fork and taking a tiny bite of cake, waiting until she was sure the baby was okay with it before eating more.

"This is delicious." She commented, through a mouthful of desert. "Just gorgeous."

He grinned. "I'm glad, there's just one condition."

"Oh yeah," She looked at him around the cake. "What?"

"You have to share." He smiled, grabbing a fork and digging in on the other side.

She laughed and moved the cake to the middle of the small table.

"So, your dads say you want to go on Broadway?" He asked and she blushed, before nodding.

"I'd like to, obviously I know how competitive it is, but I figure, if you want it enough and you practice and practice, it has to work out."

"Definitely." He nodded. "I totally agree, and with a voice like yours there is no way you can't get that dream."

"And what about you?"

"We have the same aspiration." He replied. "I too, would like to go on Broadway. I'm a senior now and I have a free ride to the University of California, Los Angeles, maybe you've heard of it? It's in Los Angeles." He grinned at her and she reached out to smack him as she said.

"That's great! I want to play three roles: Evita, Funny Girl and Laurie in Okalahoma. I've known them since I was 4."

He laughed aloud. "It's good to have goals, I suppose."

She smiled and together they continued to talk throughout the rest of the evening, slowly finding that they had more in common then they had originally thought.

Jesse was prefect. He was funny, easy going, talented and as just obsessed with music as she was.

**xxx**

Around two weeks later and Rachel had changed drastically. The real Rachel was back, with the outgoing, bubbly persona that everyone who had been interested enough to notice was gone, was glad to have back.

They were sat in Glee club and Rachel was berating them for their dancing ability, crying exasperatedly, "I have been doing these moves since I was six!"

"Well, we weren't all starlets from birth!" Kurt snapped back and Rachel bit back the response her hormones immediately through back up.

"Okay guys, it doesn't matter now anyway." Mr Shue intervened as the bell rang. "Go home, cool off, I'll see you tomorrow."

Rachel hurried off down the hallways, still fuming from the seemingly innocent comment Kurt had thrown in her face,

It was a relief, therefore, to see a certain tall senior leaning against her car. She ran towards him, allowing him to envelope her in a hug. They had seen each other every day for the past two weeks and already this had become a custom. There was none of that new friendship awkwardness, they fit together perfectly, like two peas in a pod, her dad had once commented.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, smiling widely.

He shrugged. "I had free period last thing, I thought I'd pick you up so that we could go straight home and watch Funny Girl."

It was obvious to the two of them that when he said home he meant Rachel's house. Jesse never talked about his home and family and she got the impression that there was something off there, that they didn't agree with his career plans or something. Whatever it was she wasn't going to risk their new friendship by asking anything. If he wanted to tell her he would, but until then there was no need to bring up something that obviously hurt her best friend.

He held open the door for her and she clambered in, smiling and starting the engine as he moved around the other side and got in beside her.

As they pulled out of the parking lot, they were followed by the narrowed gaze of Finn Hudson.

**Xxx**

**So, guess what musical I was listening to as I wrote this… :) Not hard I know, I'm a bit of a musical freak, I know way too much about them. **

**I should be doing school work right now... XD oh well...**

**Lots of Jesse love as always- aren't they so cute together? **

**I have to say, if Jesse comes back dating Sunshine (which I doubt will happen- he has standards and there is no way Sunshine would live up to those) I will actually have a strop and throw a tantrum. **

**I wonder if we all wrote letters of complaint about the St Berry shaped hole in the show at the moment and addressed them to Ryan Murphy, would we get anywhere… **

**Probably not. **

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed it- leave me a review please! :)**

**Love**

**Ray**

**xxx**


	5. Chapter 4

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**WARNING- slight Finchel in this chapter- I'm sorry, it brings ST Berry angst which I love and will end soon I promise! Because Finn irritates me slightly and I love Jesse XD**

**xxx**

The next day Rachel was stood by her locker, grabbing her US History text book. She glanced up and saw the picture of her and Jesse that they had taken the weekend before. They had gone to the theatre, but whilst they were walking there they had been accosted by a pair of Chinese tourists, who had asked that they take a picture of them. Jesse had obliged and they had gone on to insist that they take her and Jesse's picture too. So now she and Jesse both had a copy of the picture of them both, with their arms around each other, smiling widely.

It was a nice picture, so she had stuck it at the top of her locker.

Slamming the door shut she pushed the books in her bag and started down the hallway only to stop abruptly when she saw that Finn was stood right beside her, towering over her.

"Oh," She smiled. "Hi Finn. How are you?"

"I'm good," Finn spoke stiffly, his eyes hard. "You seem… better."

"I feel better." She agreed, still smiling.

"Let's talk and walk," He suggested, leading her down the corridors. "What do you have? I'll walk you there."

"Oh," She smiled gratefully at him, surprised by his sudden gallantry. "Thank you Finn, that's very chivalrous of you."

He frowned a little, looking down at her as they walked. "You've called me that before," He stated. "Last year some time, it's a good thing right?"

She laughed a little at him, nodding; her expression fond. "Yes Finn, very good."

"Cool," His expression relaxed a little as he turned down another corridor with her. "So," He cleared his throat awkwardly. "I saw you yesterday, with that guy…"

He trailed off and Rachel filled in, still blissfully happy. "Jesse."

"Right," His voice sounded skewered and Rachel cringed, stopping to look him in the eyes. "You two are together, I get it."

"No!" Rachel placed a hesitant hand in his chest and he didn't brush her off. "We're just friends, me and Jesse…" He cringed as she said his name and she bit her lip. Really, could she help it if her voice caressed it like that? "We're just friends." She repeated. That was all he wanted and it was all she wanted too.

"Oh," His expression cleared again. "Oh, okay."

She smiled at him, "Well, I'd better go." She turned for her classroom.

"Rache, wait." He grabbed hold of her wrist and she allowed him to spin her back towards him, closer this time.

"Yes?" Her voice had lowered a few octaves.

"I was wondering…" He rubbed the back of head the way he always did when he was nervous. "Well, you're obviously feeling a bit better now and, well, we're quite close right?"

"Yes," She repeated, nodding this time.

"Well, maybe you'd want to give me and you a try?"

She was silent for a few moments. Her heart was torn. Finn hadn't always been a gentleman to her, especially when he was with Quinn. But he was well meaning, and kind. She didn't feel scared of him and he made her happy. But then again he was a douche sometimes…

She looked up at him, her expression tortured. "I… I don't know Finn…"

"Wait," He cut her off, starting to back away. "Don't tell me your answer now. Think it over during the weekend and get back to me after, okay?" He didn't wait for her response, hurrying away around the corner so she couldn't refuse him.

Sighing she watched the space where he had disappeared, clutching her books to her chest with shaking hands, until finally the last warning bell rang beside her and she made her way quickly into the classroom.

**xxx**  
The next evening she confessed all that had happened to Jesse. They were sat, cuddled up on the sofa in an embrace that, to anyone else, would have been romantic. But to them there was nothing romantic about it. It was easier and far more comfortable for Rachel, who was far smaller, to curl up into his side and for him to drape his long arm around her shoulders. It was effortless, natural.

He was silent for a few moments after she had finished talking.

"What do you think?" She asked finally, nibbling her lower lip and glancing up at him anxiously.

He sighed and looked down at her, his expression strange. "You really liked this guy? All of last year and he just blew you off?"

She nodded slowly, hanging on his every word.

"But you still really like him? And this is the second time he's asked you out?" He checked.

She nodded again.

He blew out a long breath, staring up at the ceiling for a few moments before turning back to look at her, his expression softer.

"He makes you happy?"

She nodded for a final time.

"Then go for it." He smiled a small smile and she grinned, flinging her arms around his neck.

"Thank you!" She cried. "I will, I'll go for it."

She made to jump up, but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down next to him.

"Maybe not now Berry." He smiled. "It is almost eleven after all and I've got to be going. Every star needs his sleep." He winked at her and she smiled.

"Of course," She replied sincerely. It was important after all, her parents had drummed that into her. If she was going to achieve her true potential and become the star that she could be she had to take care of her body in every way she could. It was the reason that she had gotten back into the habit of having a work out on the elliptical every morning.

She walked him to the door as they bantered and she reached up for their normal goodbye hug when he said, his tone suddenly serious.

"Rache, I hope it all goes well, but if he hurts you in anyway, I will break him." The last words sent a strange shiver through Rachel. She was in no doubt that he could break Finn if he wanted to. Sure, Finn was a quarter back and on the football team, but Jesse was a dancer. People tended to underestimate dancers. They were; especially the males, extremely strong and just looking at the exposed muscles on Jesse's arm made Rachel certain that Finn would have a tough time.

"Okay," She smiled a little, grateful. "Thank you Jesse."

"Hey," His expression was soft again and he leant down to hug her, his touch gentle and soothing.

"I'll see you later Rache, text me about how it goes." He told her as they pulled away from each other. "Bye."

"Bye," Rachel smiled after him.

His protectiveness made her smile.

**xxx**

The next day Rachel told Finn the good news. He was happy and, although she would have preferred to say that he was ecstatic, she could work with happy.

He had grinned that large, dopey grin of his and exclaimed. "Cool!" before bending to give her a huge hug that lifted her off her feet.

She giggled, squeezing his neck and smiling her award winning smile.

Placing her clumsily back on her feet, he was still smiling, saying happily, "This is so great Rache! When you said no last time, I thought I might have blown my chance! But now…" He gave her another quick smile. "We're an actual couple."

"I have wanted this for so long Finn." She grinned.

The bell rang and she smiled a large smile as he held out his hand. "Let me walk you to class?" He asked.

She nodded, trying to suppress a smile as she said. "Thank you, you're so courteous."

He frowned down at her and she resisted the urge to giggle at his dumb founded face. "Means the same as gallant Finn."

"Oh," He nodded; his expression clearing as he grinned. "Cool."

She just shook her head, allowing him to walk her to calculus as they went. "See you," She hesitated for a moment before reaching up to hug him.

He diverted her and pressed his lips to hers, and she smiled into the kiss, pulling him closer as she stood on her tiptoes. The thought that her ballet teacher would be proud of the strength she had developed in her toes flashed through her mind, before she pushed it away. This was no time to be thinking about her ballet teacher, she was kissing her boyfriend. Her boyfriend Finn Hudson.

Finn pulled away and she tired to suppress a joyful giggle. One escaped anyway and she blushed a little, putting it down to the hormones the baby had created inside her.

"See you." He replied and turned, walking away.

Sighing softly Rachel turned into the classroom, wondering how she was ever going to concentrate on calculus with that kiss echoing in her mind.

**xxx**

The final bell had rung and most of the pupils in McKinley High had left, happy to be escaping school and be able to enjoy the sunny day.

Rachel Berry, however, was waiting for Glee Club to start. She wasn't sure where the rest of the Glee members were and had presumed that most of them would be in the choir room where they normally practiced. That's where she would normally be, but she had had to take an emergency trip to the bathroom, which was where she was now. Walking from the cubicle, she washed her hands and took out a small pink hairbrush that she'd had since she was twelve; combing through her sleek mahogany locks with it.

Rachel may not have had the best dress sense, or the best figure, but she was extremely proud of her hair.

Only when she went to put her brush back in her bag did she see Kurt stood a little behind her.

"Kurt!" She exclaimed, turning around quickly. Kurt was an extremely well dressed guy, who kept his hair permanently coifed. He was also extremely gay. (Rachel was not homophobic, how could she be when she had two gay dads) Kurt also attended Glee club and Rachel presumed that that was what he wanted her for.

"What can I do for you?" She asked, turning back to the mirror and tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Rachel," His tone made her pause in her actions and turn to watch him in the mirror. His face, like his voice, was icy hard, glaring at his team mate.

She frowned, confused for a moment before she suddenly remembered. Kurt had a huge crush on Finn.

Damn it.

"Yes?" She tried to edge around him, but he pursued her, cutting off her escape route.

"I heard about you and Finn," He stated, taking a step towards her.

"Yes, well," Rachel straightened up, reminding herself that she was a Berry and she didn't need to be scared of this boy.

"I thought you'd given up on him?" He took another small step forward.

"Well, actually, he asked me out, not the other way around." Rachel replied, trying to side step him.

"Really?" He raised a finely plucked eyebrow.

"Yes," Rachel could feel the unreasonable hysterics bubbling inside her and cursed the hormones this baby brought up in her. "Ask him yourself!"

"Maybe I will." Kurt was still, calm. Deadly calm.

"Okay, well, can I go now?" Rachel asked, trying to shoulder her way past him again, only to find herself pressed back.

Kurt's calm exterior had broken and Rachel could see the sneer that was twisting his face. "You'd better keep your claws dug into him Berry, I'm on the prowl."

With that he turned and flounced from the room.

Rachel gasped out the breath that had hitched in her throat when she saw him. She bit back the unreasonable tears, but as always now-a-days they came anyway, streaking down her face quickly.

She sniffed and wiped away the drop angrily, forcing herself to stop and taking deep breaths. Kurt had always hated her; this was nothing new, nothing to be crying over.

A buzzing in her pocket caused a welcome distraction and she pulled out her mobile, flipping it open whilst grabbing some loo roll and wiping away the stray tears.

_Hey Berry, you free tonight or are you doing something with that new beau of yours? _

Rachel smiled through her tears, already cheered. She started to reply before suddenly remembering that she would have to ask Finn. Pushing the phone back in her pocket she took one last sniff and checked that she looked okay, okay being not like she had been crying, before hurrying out after Kurt.

Once inside she ignored the boy who was in deep conversation with Mercedes and took her seat in the middle of the front row, the one that she had recently resumed. Finn was next to her and she turned to him, asking quietly. "Finn, do you want to meet up tonight?"

He looked startled and Rachel regretted asking slightly. "Uh, I don't know Rache, do _you_ want to?"

"I don't mind," She said carefully, taking in his pained expression. "But if you're busy that's fine."

"Oh, cool, well I kind have to help my mom tonight…" He trailed off, rubbing the back of his head.

"Okay," Rachel took out her phone, texting a quick reply to Jesse as Finn turned to talk to Matt, one of his fellow football players.

_No, my beau and I are not meeting up tonight, is that a small hint? I happen to know that they're playing a documentary on the making of Rent tonight, I'll order popcorn, be at mine by six. _

He took less than a minute to reply.

_You read my mind. _

She smiled a little and put the device back in her bag, turning expectantly to Mr Shue, who had started to talk, and trying to ignore the glare that seemed to be burning her back.

**xxx**

Finn offered to drop her off home that evening, an offer which she eagerly, maybe too eagerly, accepted. She would get her car tomorrow. They talked and listened to the radio on the short ride to her home, exchanging a few pleasantries about glee club and school. It was not awkward, Rachel told herself firmly.

He stopped at her house and she turned to him, ready for a goodbye kiss, or at least a hug, when his expression froze in dismay.

"Who's that?" She followed his gaze and turned to see a large black land rover parked in her driveway with a familiar figure stood outside it, waving.

"Jesse," She replied and she could basically feel him bristle.

"What's he doing here?"

Rachel frowned, slightly confused. "He asked if I was free and I told him I was. We're going to watch a documentary on the making of Rent."

"I could have done that with you." He responded, anger brewing in his tone.

"You said you were busy tonight!" She replied, exasperated.

"Yeah, well, you could have recorded it and I would have watched it with you." Finn snapped.

"Okay, sorry, I just know that Jesse likes and knows Rent. Do you know what Rent is?" She raised an eyebrow as he spluttered for a moment.

"It's a, you know, a musical thing."

She bit back the anger she felt bubbling, telling herself that she wasn't really this angry, it was just the hormones. "It's a multi award winning rock opera, which ran for _12_ years on Broadway Finn! That's ten years less than the Phantom!"

He frowned and she sighed, gritting her teeth before saying. "The Phantom of the Opera, Finn."

"Oh," He replied, before his mouth set into a stubborn line. "You still didn't need to invite _him_."

"Finn, he is my best friend. I am not going to abandon him just because you think there might be something going on." He opened his mouth to respond and she cut him off. "Don't deny it Finn, I know that you think that! How could you not trust me?" She felt the tears burn her eyes.

"No!" He exclaimed. "No, I do trust you Rache, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be a pig. I'll let you get to your musicals."

She smiled. "Thank you Finn."

"It's okay, come here," He coaxed her closer to him, leaning towards her across the handbrake and capturing her mouth in a long, heat filled kiss that left her gasping for breath.

"Whoa," She gasped, smiling as he came down for another quick kiss. "I have to go Finn."

"Okay, bye." His smile was just a little too smug and when she looked back she realised that he had glanced towards Jesse, who was stood with his arms crossed, leaning against the side of his car.

She sighed and rolled her eyes, clambering from the car and making her way across the dark lawn and over to Jesse, who opened his arms for a hug. She happily obliged, hugging him more tightly than usual.

"Hey," He murmured.

"Hi," She smiled into the cloth of his shirt.

"So," He pulled back from her, "It seems I haven't really made any friends with your boyfriend?"

"I don't know what's wrong with him." She sighed, leading him up to the door. "He's so overprotective."

"Have I ruffled his feathers?" He smirked and she hit the upside of his head so hard that he cursed.

"Shut up, you're not helping."

He grinned. "Have I ruffled _your_ feathers Berry?"

"No!" She cried as she opened the door, only to realise she had just proven him right. "Oh get in there!" She hurried him into the room, before sliding the door shut behind them.

She turned back to him and he cocked his head, asking. "Popcorn?"

"Of course," She replied and led him into the kitchen, where he perched on the counter as she moved around him, pulling two bags of popcorn from the cupboard and sticking them in the microwave.

"Sweet?" He asked, swinging his legs gently against the cupboard.

"Obviously." She turned and raised an eyebrow at him. He knew how much she hated salted popcorn.

"Awesome," He shared her hate of it, something that gave her secret satisfaction. "So, why did your beau feel the need to give me that, if I may say so, rather embarrassing display?"

Her mouth dropped. "You saw that?"

"Yep," He popped the 'p'.

"Ugh," She shut her eyes momentarily, shaking her head. "Sorry."

He raised his eyebrows, but didn't reply, jumping off the counter as the microwave pinged. She pulled the two bags out and went to grab a bowl, only to find that Jesse was holding out a large dish.

She grinned at him and tipped the two bags into the bowl, chucking away the packaging when she was done.

"Shall we head out?" She asked and together they walked into the lounge. Rachel took her usual place and Jesse sat beside her, allowing her to cuddle into his side whilst he balanced the popcorn on his knees.

Picking up the remote Rachel clicked it over to the right channel and muted the sound when she saw that the adverts were still on.

"So," Jesse turned to look down at her. "It went well, between you and Finn then?"

"Yeah, really well," She bit her lip for a moment, hesitating because she knew how he would react.

"What is it?" Of course he noticed.

"I just, well, there was this guy, Kurt…"

"What about him?" Jesse's eyes narrowed.

"He kind of fancies Finn, he wasn't very happy with the fact we were dating."

"Did he do anything to you?" His voice was tight, anxious and angry.

"No, of course not." She shook her head, frowning slightly.

"You sure?" He asked his eyes still tight.

"Yes," She responded, hoping he'd drop it. "Come on, it's starting," she clicked off the mute, the theme tune, a variation of Seasons of Love, she noticed, blaring out of the speakers.

He didn't drop it. "Certain?"

"Yes!" She replied, irritated, staring intently at the screen in a vain hope that it would make him stop.

"Fine," He sat back, stubbornly. "But if he gives you _any _grief his face will be coming in contact with my fist."

Rachel rolled her eyes, but decided to not comment. They slipped into an easy silence as the show continued, speaking only to make occasional comments on what they were watching.

The adverts came on halfway through and Rachel muted them again so that she and Jesse could get into an argument over musicals.

"I don't understand what you mean." She sighed, shaking her head.

"Well, I'm saying that, as much as I love the old classics, there are some fantastic ones out there right now." He explained, his calm the complete opposite of Rachel's building worry.

"No, I understand that, what I don't understand is how you can say you don't like Les Miserables." She scowled at him.

"I didn't say that I hated it, just that it wasn't the cheeriest of musicals I've ever watched." He held back a smile; it was funny to see her get worked up like this.

"It's not supposed to be cheerful!" She cried and then glowered at his grinning face for a moment before falling into laughter just as he did.

"I call the last bit of popcorn!" He shouted, but Rachel grinned mischievously at him and dived for the bowl, grabbing the last few pieces and shoving them in her mouth before he could react.

He cried out in horror as the phone rang and chased her across the room towards it.

"Hello?" She choked through the popcorn.

"Rachel?" A familiar voice asked as two hands reached her sides.

She screamed out as he tickled her, his strong body firm behind her and keeping her locked in position as she giggled.

"No stop!" She cried to him, between her laughter.

"Rachel? Rachel!" The voice on the end of the phone became more frantic and she managed to choke out a reply.

"No, I'm okay Finn, Jesse's just-argh!" She cut herself off with a squeal that turned to a fit of laughter.

"Rachel?" Finn's voice crackled through the line, "What's he doing? I'm coming over."

"No! Finn no!" She giggled again as Jesse's tickling lessened slightly. "He's just tickling me."

"Say you're sorry!" Jesse demanded, grinning like a fool.

"Never!" She cried in return, before continuing, to Finn, "I've got to go, Finn, see you tomorrow."

She put down the phone without waiting for an answer.

"Your beau checking up on us? Checking we weren't making out or anything?" Jesse's voice was suddenly dry, sarcastic.

"No," She laughed, "He's just protective is all."

"I'll say," Jesse rolled his eyes and then winced as Rachel elbowed him. "Ow! What did I say?"

"He's not the one who's threatened to beat people up." Rachel replied.

"It was only an implied beating up," Jesse muttered, slumping back in his seat. He glanced mournfully at the empty bowl before him. "I can't believe you ate the last pieces." His bottom lip came out, petulantly.

She grinned. "Deal with it."

He scowled at her, but started laughing again before long. Rachel joined in, a high soprano to his base line.

"Come on, it's starting again." She sat beside him, slipping easily under his arm.

xxx

**Quite a long 'un for y'all :) Again, I should be doing school work… there's a pattern forming here. **

**Thank you all so much for the amazing reviews- they mean so much to me *sniff sniff* :) **

**Hope you enjoyed it :)**

**Sorry the update took so long! I hope you enjoyed it. Don't worry- I'm NOT a secret Finchel supporter- they will not end up together, it's a St Berry story.**

**I just wrote a massive plan for this story- so I'm quite excited to get back to writing it! **

**Glee's on tonight for all of us over here in the UK :)**

**I'm jealous of all you over there in the US!**

**Now I must run off for my singing lesson :) I have to prepare for a concert and my exam so not missing it would be good right about now. **

**Please review- they increase my writing rate. **

**Love to you all, as always. **

**Ray**

**Xxx **


	6. Chapter 5

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

xxx

The next morning, Finn Hudson sat in Spanish unable to take in anything Mr Schuster was saying. He had never been the sharpest crayon in the box, but now things seemed to just go straight in one ear and come out of the other. Mr Shue could be talking about pink elephants right now and he wouldn't know.

The truth was Finn Hudson was worried.

Which was not normal.

Finn was one of these people who tended not to worry about things. He had a comfortable family life, though his dad had died a little after he was born fighting in Iraq, his mom was nice and understood that he sometimes wouldn't have time for homework, in between his busy schedule of football and playing on his XBox. The only time he had ever really worried in his life was last year when he had thought that Quinn was carrying his baby.

The thought of Quinn made his hand tense angrily around his pencil.

But now, now he was really worrying. About a _girl_ too, which made it even weirder.

Finn had never had a problem with girls. He had dated a few before Quinn and his place as quarter back made him a star in what was really a pathetic football team that hadn't won a game in twenty years. When Finn had first started he had been nonplussed to find that even though the other team had kicked their butt on the football field, girls would still hang around by the locker room door after a game. Waiting to see _him_.

All of this added up to mean that Finn never really had any problems with girls.

Until now.

Rachel had been so into him. At the beginning it had been kind of embarrassing actually, like trying to push away an over-eager five year old who doesn't seem to understand the meaning of the word no.

But he had to admit she was hot, in a weird, pre-schooler meets grandma type way. Sure she always wore those weird sweaters with animals on and those long socks, but the short skirts that exposed her smooth legs were seriously hot. In a weird way.

Anyway, so Finn had been ready to make them a couple after Christmas. But she was weird. All quiet and shy. On the first day she almost _ran away_ from him. She had told him that she didn't want to make a relationship. Which had seriously sucked.

But suddenly she came back to herself, like she realised how weird she was acting. And apparently her transformation was all thanks to that Jesse guy.

Finn jumped when he heard a loud crack. Looking down he saw that the pencil in his hand had snapped cleanly in two.

Sighing he shoved the two halves in his bag and clenched his fists together.

Just thinking about that smug idiots' face made him want to hit something. Preferably Jesse.

But Rachel would probably kill him. Or worse, break up with him.

He'd called her last night and she had been screaming down the phone. At first Finn had thought the worst, until she had finally managed to choke out that Jesse was tickling her and he had been able to pick out the laughter between her squeals.

And then she had hung up on him.

Rachel Berry had hung up on him.

It was all wrong. Back to front, upside down. She was supposed to be chasing after him, following him everywhere like she used to.

Instead she was off watching Broadway shows with some guy.

Finn clenched his teeth again and took a deep calming breath.

He would have to wait it out, hope that they grew apart. She had only known him for a few weeks after all. It was just a phase. She would get over it.

xxx

Rachel was always wary about entering the cafeteria. Last year, when she had been far more outspoken, it had been down right dangerous for her to go in there. Coach Sylvester's cheerleaders, known around the school as Cheerios, were at the top of the school's finely balanced social pyramid. And Rachel was definitely at the bottom.

Last year in particular, when she had informed the Cheerios that it was diabolical that they were charging people for homecoming king and queen votes and told them that their banner 'VOTE FOR YOUR HOMCOMING ROYALTY- $1 PER VOTE' was spelt wrong.

Then she had practically been chased from the room.

But now that Glee was a little bigger and better than it had been then she felt far safer when entering the jungle that was the cafeteria.

"Rachel." Turning she noticed Tina and Artie, the Glee club's resident wheel chair user, approaching the door. "Are you going in?"

"Uh, yeah, are you?"

"Sure," Tina pushed Artie through the door and Rachel followed behind them, pulling her sandwich out (the baby had a craving for celery, red pepper and dairy free cream cheese and anyway, there was no way she was eating from the cafeteria on her strict Vegan diet) and following them to a table at the back of the room near the tray dispenser.

She was surprised to see Finn sat at the table already; he normally took his time getting there, stopping to talk to other football players and drop stuff off at his locker.

"Hey Finn," She took the seat beside him, smiling a little.

"Hey," He reached over to give her a long kiss which she broke away from, laughing.

"Careful, I haven't even had my lunch yet." She gestured to the sandwich, wrapped in layers of cling film, before her.

"How can you eat that stuff?" He wrinkled his nose, taking a bite of his pizza.

"Having a consistent and healthy diet is best," Rachel recited, quoting her Barbra biography.

His only response was to take another bite out of the pizza. She rolled her eyes.

"So," He asked between bites. "Are you free tonight?"

"Of course," She nodded, finishing her sandwich.

"Fancy going out to that new Pizzeria in town? I think they do Vegan stuff."

"Oh yes!" She beamed, clapping her hands together. "I went there with Jesse and they did the most incredible Vegan pizza. Let's go."

Finn only nodded, his neck taught, but Rachel didn't notice. "Will you pick me up at seven?"

He nodded again and she smiled, "excellent." She glanced up at the large industrial clock that hung on every wall of the school so that no student could have an excuse for being late, and cringed. "I've got to go Finn; I want to talk to Mr Shue about our new number." She shook her head. "It just isn't working; we need to get the choreography off to a T, it's too choppy."

"Okay," Finn didn't look at her as she got up and hurried from the room. Once she was gone his expression dropped to a scowl and he crushed the pizza crust to crumbs in his hands.

"Stupid stupid Jesse."

xxx

Rachel had been worrying about what to wear for the past twenty minutes. She had a huge array of options laid out over her bed, but the truth was she didn't think that any of them were fitting. Her dads, weirdly, had been no help whatsoever, saying that she should just where what she wore to school, as Finn obviously liked her in that kind of thing.

She had decided, finally, on, a dark purple cashmere sweater with small puffs on the sleeves, which ended three quarters of the way down her arms and a black skirt with her only pair of heels, some black sling backs.

She was just pulling her hair back with two small clips and adding a small layer of lip gloss when there was a knock on her door.

She called blindly for whoever it was to come in, assuming it was one of her dads.

"Huh, I thought we were past the stage where we dressed up for each other? If you'd told I would have worn something else."

Rachel span around to see him stood in the doorway, a strange smile on his face, with one eyebrow raised questioningly.

"I brought the films." He held up a pile of DVDs and Rachel winced when she remembered that they had organised last week that they would spend tonight doing another musical marathon.

"Oh Jesse," She cringed, guilt sweeping through her. "I'm so sorry, I said I'd go out with Finn tonight."

"Oh," He looked a little lost for a moment, before quickly gathering himself. "That's why you're all dressed up; I was starting to think…" He grinned a little at her.

Behind the pretence of humour she could see how hurt he was.

"I'm sorry!" She tried to run to him, but the heels made her trip and tumble, forcing him to catch her and set her upwards again.

"Easy there Berry," He eyed the heels warily, "How often do you wear _those_?"

"Barely ever," She shrugged.

He sighed and shook his head, taking a step away from her when he was sure she was steady. "You shouldn't have to dress up for him Berry; he should love you for who you are."

She rolled her eyes again at his cheesy statement. "Like you'd know."

He mouth made a little 'o' of shock, his eyebrows shooting up until they almost met his hair line. She giggled at his expression.

He blinked a few times, before saying, completely sincerely. "I cannot believe you just said that."

She giggled again.

"No, honestly," He continued, taking step towards her. "I have been out with millions of girls! You cheeky little…"

He ran at her, taking her in his arms and tickling her again, making her scream and squirm away crying. "Stop, stop! You'll ruin my hair!"

"Aw," He ruffled her hair up a bit. "I think you look cute with messy hair."

She giggled feebly, straightening her outfit and brushing down her hair.

"Where're you going?" He asked.

"The new pizzeria, down town, you know it."

"Oh yeah," He grinned. "The one with the good vegan pizzas right?"

"Yeah," She grinned, "Funny, that's just what I said."

"Rachel!" Leroy called from downstairs.

"Yes?" Rachel responded.

"He's here!"

"Oh!" Rachel grabbed her purse, shoving things in as she replied. "Okay! I'll be right there!" She glanced around frantically. "Where's my mobile?"

She turned to find Jesse holding it out to her, a rueful smile on his lips.

"Thanks," She took it gratefully and shoved it in her purse, before turned to ask. "Do I look okay?"

He cocked his head and looked her up and down. "Well, you know, it's _okay_…"

"Stop it!" She cried, hitting him with her purse. "Seriously!"

"Beautiful." He said, more quietly and suddenly she had to try and stop the tears from coming. She blamed the baby.

"Thanks," She sniffled a little and started down the stairs.

Finn was stood in her doorway, looking tall and awkward, but quite handsome. He smiled when he saw her, out of relief or not, she couldn't be sure, but the smile dropped abruptlyand she guessed he had spotted Jesse.

"Do you want to stay for dinner Jesse?" Leroy offered, smiling at the boy.

"I'd love to, thank you." He smiled in return and went to lean against the wall, watching Rachel and Finn closely.

"Hey Finn." Rachel greeted him softly.

"Hi," He replied, smiling at her a little. "You look good."

She couldn't help but be reminded of Jesse's 'beautiful' earlier.

"Thanks," She smiled. "You look good too, very debonair."

Jesse snorted slightly at that and Rachel glared at him. "This is Jesse, Finn, Jesse, this is Finn."

"Hey," Jesse gave the taller boy a look that made Rachel think that he was squaring him up. And that he didn't come to much.

"Hey," Finn's response was stiff and restrained and Rachel decided it was time to go.

"Let's go Finn,"

"When will you be back?" Leroy rushed back in from the kitchen, wiping his hand on his apron, the reading glasses perched on the end of his nose showing that he had just been reading from a recipe book.

It was true that both parents were anxious about her going out on her own with some boy they didn't know. It was different with Jesse, they knew that he wasn't about to do anything.

Rachel glanced at Finn and he floundered for an answer, resisting the urge to say he had no idea.

Jesse cut in, "Well, it's about half an hour away right? So it'll take you an hour to get there and back. About an hour to eat? So two hours, you guys do the math."

"Around nine daddy," Rachel rolled her eyes at Jesse, "As our own little calculator over here has worked out for us."

"Little?" He held his hand to his heart, his tone injured. "I am not little, you wound me Berry!"

She laughed, sticking out her tongue at him as she pulled Finn past. "Good, I'm very glad."

"Don't stay out too late!" He called after her, laughing.

She chose not to respond, climbing into Finn's car and waiting as her boyfriend got in beside her and started the car.

"Sorry about that," She laughed as they drove away. "He's such a dork sometimes and I forgot I said he could come round tonight."

Finn grunted noncommittally.

Rachel sighed and fell silent, something which Jesse would have congratulated Finn on. Finally, unable to stand the tension she said, brightly. "So, Glee club's coming on right? We should take Regionals this year I think, or at least place."

"Yeah," He responded.

Rachel kept going, despite the lack of enthusiasm from her partner. "Yeah, we're getting really good, our vocals are up by miles and the choreographing is okay."

"Yeah," Finn repeated and they fell into another long silence. Finn broke it this time. "So, how long have you known Jesse?"

Rachel sighed. She really didn't want to spend her first official date talking about Jesse. But she answered anyway, just grateful that he was talking to her. "About three weeks."

"Whoa, you guys seem pretty close though?" Finn couldn't keep the slight bitterness from his tone.

"Yeah," Rachel answered carefully. "I suppose we just like the same kind of thing."

"Yeah, musicals and stuff. How was your thing last night?"

"Oh it was great!" Rachel gushed, smiling. "The show was fantastic; they went into all the details and gave amazing tips on how to become a star, which is what I'm going to do, obviously. Jesse has a book which he keeps good tips in; do you think I should start doing that?"

"Uh, yeah," Finn looked slightly dazed, but Rachel couldn't handle any more silence so she continued anyway.

"Mr Shue is great and everything, but he hasn't got any huge ambitions, he's going to be stuck in Lima all his life. Not like me, I'm going to New York as soon as I can; that's where all the action is you know."

"Yeah, I've been there," He managed to get in.

"You have? So have I! Why did you go, where did go?"

"Uh, I went with my Uncle. To see a football game. My mom doesn't like football. Unless I'm playing it."

"Is that all?" She seemed to deflate before him. "I went with my dads for my fifteenth birthday. We saw six shows, Wicked, Les Miserables, The Phantom, Oklahoma, Funny Girl and Evita. It was amazing."

"Six shows?" He stared at her, wide eyed. "How long did you go for?"

"About four days I seem to remember, oh Finn, I have to take you to see Wicked some day, it's phenomenal! With all the lights and the vocals are amazing."

"What's it about?" He asked warily.

"Oh, it's a take on the Wizard of Oz!" She explained eagerly. "About the Wicked With of the West and how she wasn't a terrorist, she was a freedom fighter! The Wizard just painted her as a villain and it addresses the issue of how the general public tend to believe anything that they are told by someone who they idolise!"

"It sounds kind of complicated." Finn replied. "It's all singing and stuff right?"

"Yes, although you mustn't get it confused with opera, that's completely different. Oh Finn, you have to see The Phantom, at least the film, if not the show. It's incredible, there's mist everywhere and the stage is cloaked in dark colours…"

Finn started to tune her out, as it seemed she was okay with just talking herself out and letting him nod in appropriate places.

xxx

When Rachel got home she was surprised to see Jesse still there. He was lounging on her sofa, watching a documentary on the Vietnam War with her dads. It was quarter past nine and he seemed to have made himself comfortable.

"Hey," She called, dumping her purse and the coat she had grabbed on the way out and joining them on the sofa, sandwiching herself between Jesse and Herim.

"Hi," He smiled at her. "How was your date?"

Her dads turned to listen as she answered, "It was good, fun. They do great pizzas there."

"Did you have the same as last time?" Jesse asked and she nodded, grinning.

"What did you talk about?" Leroy leaned around his partner to ask.

"Just stuff, Glee club, school, music, nothing special," She shrugged and Jesse tried to flatten the happiness inside him.

"Great," Leroy smiled as Herim asked.

"So you had fun sweetie?"

"Yes," She nodded.

"That's great," He answered and Jesse pushed himself off the couch.

"I'd better be going." He smiled and Rachel's eyes widened.

"Why?" She followed him out into the hallway.

"I was only waiting till you got home safe and sound Berry." He grinned. "I need an early night, I've got an early morning rehearsal with Vocal Adrenaline tomorrow."

"How early?" She asked curiously.

"Well, it'll start at about six I think," He laughed at her horrified face. "Don't look like that Berry. Ms Corcoran is driving us hard now, we need to be on our game for Regionals."

"Where we will whip your butt." Rachel joked and Jesse's eyebrows rose.

"Oh, fighting talk Berry. Don't get yourself into a frenzy though they aren't for another few months."

She just laughed, seeing him out.

"Catch you later Berry, I'll text you."

"Bye Jesse," She smiled and hugged him quickly, watching as he left.

Xxx

That weekend Jesse called her, asking her to meet him at the McKinley High parking lot at nine and to tell her dads that she would be out all day with him.

"Why?" She had asked, but all she had been met with was the dialling tone.

So she had done as he asked and was waiting in her car at the deserted McKinley parking lot. She couldn't help but think that this was some massive trick and that a series of Cheerios and football players, headed by Jesse, where going to appear from the school at any second and egg her or something.

Which was why she was so relieved when she saw Jesse's car pull up beside hers. She jumped out and went to meet him, opening her arms for a hug before stopping abruptly. He had someone with him.

Jesse grinned at the confused expression on Rachel's face and went to hug her.

"Hey Berry," He smiled, pulling away, but keeping his arm around her for reassurance. "This is my friend, Johnny."

Johnny was tall, a little taller than Jesse maybe, but nowhere near Finn's height. His hair too was brown and straight like Finn's, although more like Jesse's in its length, and stylishly cut. His clothes too, were stylish and looked quite expensive. He smiled at Rachel and Rachel noticed large icy blue eyes.

"Hey Rachel," He smiled and his voice was smooth and deep, with a slight accent.

"Johnny dropped out of High School last year and he's working on stage now." Jesse grinned, looking down at Rachel, who was staring at the boy before her with some kind of strange wonderment.

"Really?" She asked.

"Yeah," He nodded; his hands in his jeans pockets. "It was scary at first but I caught a break, I got picked up for the lead in an amazing new musical. American Idiot, have you heard of it?"

"Oh my gosh yes!" Rachel's smiled grew. "The one made up of just Green Day songs? Yes, I can't wait to see that."

"Great," He smiled. "I'll look for you on opening night,"

"Maybe Jesse will take me." She smiled at the boy above her.

Jesse smiled between them, "I was thinking we could all go out today and you could ask Johnny all the questions that I'm sure you want to know the answers to. That okay?"

"Sure," She smiled, thanking all that was holy that the morning sickness had reduced from what it used to be and generally hit in the morning now, so she was barely ever caught out anymore, and only a few times in front of Jesse.

"Great!" Johnny clapped his hands together and Jesse led her towards his car.

"What about my car?" Rachel asked, peering around his arm.

"I'll get it for you later. How did you get it back the other day?" He frowned, "when Finn dropped you off after school?"

"Oh, I walked the next morning."

Jesse rolled his eyes, but refrained from saying anything. Arriving at the car she was surprised to find the passenger seat door being held open for her by Johnny.

"Why," she smiled, clambering in. "Are all of Jesse's friends this charming?"

"No," Jesse laughed and the pair got in, Jesse in the driving seat and Johnny in the seat behind him. "He's just whipped."

"What?" Rachel laughed aloud.

"That is such a lie!" Johnny cried, but Rachel could see the smile in his eyes. "Lauren likes guys who are well mannered, so I am well mannered."

"He's been with Lauren for like three years," Jesse smiled, adding idly as they pulled out of the parking lot. "And you are totally whipped."

xxx

That evening when Rachel and Jesse finally arrived home the house was dark and empty. Once they had stumbled into the dark kitchen together, giggling when Jesse tripped over a coat stand, they found a note on the countertop informing Rachel that her dads were gone for the night and would be back late and to not wait up.

"Huh," Rachel frowned a little, "that's kind of strange, I wonder where they went?"

She looked up at Jesse for answers but her friend just shrugged.

"Oh well," She tossed the note back on the countertop, going towards the living room. "You can go now, if you want," She smiled at him, "Thank you so much for a fabulous day."

"Anytime Berry," He smiled, giving her a tight hug and following her into the living room, sitting heavily beside her.

"What are you doing?" She asked, frowning. "Don't you have to get home, get some sleep?"

"There's no way I'm leaving you here all night on your own." He kicked his feet up on the coffee table, leaning back in the cushions.

"What, there's no need for you to do that." Rachel frowned. "I can look after myself."

He groaned and turned to glare stubbornly at her. "Listen you, there are some seriously dodgy characters around here and I am not leaving you here to defend yourself. So suck it up and stop arguing."

He turned purposefully back to the TV, grabbing the remote and turning it on, clicking through the many channels and tutting in disapproval at the choices he had.

Rachel sighed, recognising the obstinate expression on his face that told her there was nothing she could do. She sat beside him slowly, shifting under his arm as he decided on a show, some old movie that was showing in black and white. Chancing a glance up at his face she gritted her teeth when she saw the smug smile he had.

She crossed her arms, huffing in annoyance, but his smile only grew.

They sat in compatible silence for the next few minutes, watching as the movie played on.

"So," He asked when the adverts came on. "How are you and Mr Jock doing these days?"

She rolled her eyes at his name calling, but otherwise ignored him. "He's great," She smiled. "We went out again on Friday."

"And he didn't want you for the weekend?" Jesse frowned. "If you were my girlfriend I don't think I'd ever let you go."

Rachel chuckled, but otherwise shook her head. "He had an away football game this weekend."

"And you didn't go?" Jesse cocked his head to one side curiously.

Rachel wrinkled her nose. "Football isn't my thing."

He laughed and she opened her mouth to join in when the metallic taste that she barely ever tasted now a days flared angrily in the back of her throat.

She jumped from her seat and sprinted across the room into the bathroom, vomiting violently into the toilet bowl.

She barely noticed when Jesse arrived behind her, pulling her hair from her face, holding her close and murmuring encouragement softly in her ear.

The throwing up didn't last wrong and as Rachel sat up, flushing away the contents of her stomach, she found a glass being held out to her. Taking it gratefully she swilled out her mouth and spat back into the toilet bowl, coughing lightly as he rubbed her back, her tears stinging her eyes.

"Rachel?" Jesse's arm snaked around her shoulders, pulling her close into him and as she buried her face in the cotton of his shirt she started, for some reason, to sob. A strange, nostalgic feeling filled her and, although she had no idea why, she found herself unable to stop crying. Jesse shushed her and rocked her back and forth gently, whispering soothing things in her ear.

After a few long minutes Jesse finally spoke, pulling back slightly to look at her, his long arms still around her. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine now," Rachel sniffled, looking up at him through heavy, wet lashes.

"Are you sure?" He asked gently.

"Perfectly," She nodded, going to clamber up, but Jesse stopped her, pulling her back down. The seriousness of his expression made her stomach flutter anxiously.

"Rachel, I need to ask you something."

"W-What?" She stuttered over the word.

He took a deep long breath. "Are you pregnant?"

Xxx

**I would try and say something witty and intelligent, but it's late and I'm tired. **

**However, I will gush about last night's Glee episode. Wasn't it just amazing? The Valentines one, I mean. I thought it was splendid. I am now a firm shipper of Kurt and Blaine. I may try and slip it in this story somewhere, but that will be a long time away. Anyone else think there's a big opening for St Berry, because Finn said that she needed to not have someone to tie her to Ohio- Jesse would definitely not tie her to Ohio. I'm not sure how I feel about the return of Quinn and Finn, I feel kinda sorry for poor old Sam, but as long as Finn isn't with Rachel, I'm not bothered. **

**How amazing was Lea's 'Firework' by the way? They could have seriously wrecked that song, but they did it really well, because I think Katy Perry's voice is hard to replicate. Lea's ability to sing so many different genres astounds me. **

**By the way, I was thinking, maybe we should form a club, G.A .F: Gleeks Against Finchel… ;) **

**I am rejecting my other stories for this one, so you should feel very loved. **

**Long chapter this time, dont expect me to always be so nice.**

**Reviews make my day- no seriously, they actually do. When I wake up in the morning and find 13 new messages on my email and they're reviews and alerts and favourites I am happy all day. **

**Not that my life revolves around my stories or anything… *sheepish look***

**Review please and make me happy all day!**

**Love**

**Ray**

**xxx**


	7. Chapter 6

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

"_Are you pregnant?"_

"What?" Rachel repeated, spluttering.

Jesse's expression didn't falter; it was a mask of sad seriousness that made her tremble.

"You've been throwing up an awful lot…"

She hitched away from him, her eyes wide. "Not that much, just a few times…"

"A lot of times."

"Well," Rachel struggled for breath through her blocked throat. "That doesn't prove anything."

"No, that doesn't," He bit his lip anxiously. "But when you went out with Finn your dads told me to put the _Funny Girl_ book I borrowed from you in your room. I asked where, and they said to put it in your bedside draw." Rachel paled. "I found the test box Rachel."

Rachel cursed to herself. She had meant to throw the box away, but she was worried that her dads would see it and she promised herself that she would find some other way of getting rid of it. But then it had slipped her mind and it had just sat at the back of the draw, empty and forgotten.

"Rachel?" Jesse voice brought her back to reality. "Then, when I was tickling you the other day I felt the bump, it's not very big sure, but it was kind of obvious for you Rachel, I know how dedicated you are to your elliptical. You would never willingly let that bump occur, there had to be another explanation."

Rachel sniffed and when she spoke her voice was coated in anger. "Well, your quite the little detective aren't you Jesse, congratulations, what are you going to do now, spread it around everyone you know?"

"No," Jesse remained calm, despite her anger. "I'm going to help you."

"The hell you are," Rachel clambered to her feet, still fuming, her hands dropping to her stomach automatically, and stormed from the room. Jesse followed, catching up easily when she got to the living room.

"Rachel-"

She cut him off. "Leave me alone Jesse!"

She spun past him, turning around and heading for the stairs. She was halfway up when his words stopped her.

"What pre maternal vitamins are you taking?" She turned slowly to look at him.

"What?"

"Folic acid?" He continued.

"What?" She repeated, taking a step down the stairs towards him.

"Have you been for a sonogram yet? Because I heard that if you don't get those done early the baby can have like, a deformed head or something." Jesse shrugged.

"What?" It was whispered this time as she struggled to stand, her legs limp beneath her.

He hurried to help her, pulling her close and helping her down the stairs and back into the living room.

"A deformed head?" Rachel whispered, still shocked.

"No, it's okay Berry." His expression was still serious, despite the fact that he'd switched back to her preferred nickname. "But do you see that you need someone?"

She nodded silently, her face chalky. "Okay," She murmured. "I'll tell you."

"Come here." He tucked her under his arm. "When did you first find out?"

"About five weeks ago." Rachel responded quietly.

"Really?" He sighed. "And it happened after the… you know the thing."

"Yes," She nodded.

"Didn't they give you a pill or something at the hospital?"

"Yeah, they gave me the morning after pill but…" She shrugged. "those things are only 99% accurate you know."

"Well now I do," He shook his head, almost angry, before saying. "You're not getting an abortion."

It wasn't a question and if Finn or anyone else had said it to her, she would have been angry and, although they were right, she would have been upset that they were trying to control her and her baby. But with Jesse it was different, he knew that that was what she thought and he was merely stating it aloud.

"Adoption?" He asked, pulling her away from her thoughts.

"I don't know," She shrugged helplessly, the huge size of the situation smacking her in the face once again. Up until now she'd been able to ignore baby almost, or ignore the fact that baby was a real live person inside her. But this realisation made her cringe now. "Maybe."

"Okay," He sighed and ran a hand through his already tousled hair. There was a silence that seemed to last forever before Jesse sighed once more and Rachel felt his body relax behind her. "Okay," He repeated. "Have you told Finn?" She shook her head quickly, looking up at him. A strange expression flashed over his face, one she couldn't place, before settling on a frown. "You have to tell him Berry."

She looked away, unable to meet his gaze.

"Berry?" His hand met her cheek, gently forcing her up to look at him.

"I can't," She finally managed to say.

"You have to," He repeated.

"But I can't!" She cried, her expression twisting with despair.

He sighed and turned to her, starting to speak before she cut him off, her voice becoming more hysterical as she spoke.

"I can't tell him Jesse! You know how long I waited to go out with him and now he's finally decided that I'm not too much of a loser and my talent won't over shadow him. He had baby drama all of last year with Quinn, if I even mention this do you think he'll stick around? He'll go running for the hills! If I tell him about the baby I'll have to tell him about what happened, then what will he think of me Jesse? I can't tell him!" Her voice broke on the last words as she began to sob.

He took her slowly in his arms, shushing her gently and waiting as she cried. She got control of herself more quickly this time, sniffing a little before muttering. "Sorry, it's the baby."

"It's okay," Jesse replied quietly, still holding her close to his chest, he liked the way she fit there, liked the feel of her warm body in his arms. Her hair smelt of strawberries and tickled his cheek softly. Her hands were pressed to his chest and he felt strangely warm where she was pressed against him. He frowned a little, trying to shake away the strange feelings. Why did he feel like this? This wasn't just some girl; it was Berry, short sweet Berry who needed him to be her friend and support. Her voice distracted him from the bizarre tingles that had shot through him when she pressed her hands against the then cotton of his shirt.

"It's not just what he'll think of me," She spoke softly and he had to lean forward to hear her. "I can't handle him telling me he doesn't want me again, he did it last year, but this time… he'd be so disgusted. And I'd be devastated." She looked up at him through long wet lashes. "Not just normal devastation either, it would be pain like the pain Barbra felt in _The Way We Were_."

He sighed, suppressing a sad chuckle, only Rachel would use that comparison.

She buried herself in his chest again, her breathing hitching and he stroked her back absently.

His reaction was natural, despite being gradual. A song which he had found online a few weeks a go came to his mind and he was silently grateful for his uncanny ability to remember lyrics to songs he heard only a few times.

So he sang softly, "_When you wake up each morning and you feel like calling… I'll be there for you."_

Rachel looked up curiously as he continued singing, his voice quiet and peaceful and she sniffled quietly.

"_When the road seems uncertain and you can't stop the hurting… I'll be there for you."_

She smiled a little, she had never heard the song before, but she couldn't imagine it sung better than how Jesse was singing it, his husky voice gentle and soothing.

"_When there's no one beside you, I'll be there to guide you… Catch you when you fall." _

She sniffed on last time, leaning back on his chest as he sung gently.

"_When the stars won't shine anymore, I'll be there…"_

He trailed off to a natural halt and she looked up at him, smiling softly.

"Thank you," She murmured and he stroked her hair softly.

"Anytime," He replied gently. A silence stretched out before he asked, still gentle. "I guess you haven't told your dads then?"

She just shook her head. "They'd be distraught."

"But they'd understand," he replied softly. "They could help."

She shook her head violently, looking away.

"You can't just ignore it Berry, it isn't going to go away." He whispered.

"I know," She whispered back and her hands slipped downwards, cupping her slightly swollen stomach. Their gazes followed them down simultaneously. She looked up at him, her eyes wide with sudden terror. "Jesse, what am I going to do?"

He placed his hands over hers, marvelling at the feel of her stomach beneath him.

"What ever you decide," He spoke with a sudden sincerity, a conviction that he felt strongly within him. "I'll be here, to help you."

Rachel felt a little guilty the next morning when she arrived at school. Jesse had stayed all night, even when she had fallen asleep in front of the TV in his arms. She presumed he had gone home when her dads returned- but otherwise he had stayed until the early hours of the morning. He would be tired today and she knew he had early Vocal Adrenaline rehearsals.

Also, Finn had had this football game over the weekend, one which he spent around an hour telling her about. They hadn't won. Obviously. But apparently they had come very close, it had been their best game of the season and Finn had wished she was there. Which had made her feel even worse. She didn't mention that she had been with Jesse all weekend.

She sat in Glee Club, employing all of the acting skills she had learnt from her many classes to look interested in yet another play by play of the football game that Finn was giving her.

She was quite relieved when Mr Shue finally entered.

"Hey guys," The young teacher looked especially excited today, especially jazzed up. "So, you know we've always been down on our numbers, especially compared to Vocal Adrenaline? Well I'm glad to introduce a new member to our little group."

Rachel turned to look at the door with the rest of the group as the new Glee clubber entered and her breath caught in her throat.

_Well of course, of course he would feel this is necessary_.

It was Jesse. Looking as striking as usual in stylish clothing, along with the general self-confidence, bordering on cockiness, that he carried himself with, he seemed almost out of place in the small choir room at McKinley.

"Jesse?" Rachel gasped.

"Hey Berry," He grinned, but her mouth still hung open.

"What are you doing here? I don't understand…" She trailed off.

"My parents are going away so I'm staying at my Uncle's house whilst they're gone. That puts me in this school catchment area." He frowned, feigning hurt. "Are you not pleased to see me Berry? I must say I'm offended."

"Of course I am!" She beamed, throwing herself from her seat and into his arms, before suddenly realising that this would confuse her fellow Glee clubbers.

She turned to smile at them all. "Guys this is my best friend Jesse, I met him after Christmas."

"He's just transferred from Carmel." Mr Shue put in.

"Wait," Santana scowled. "You were in Vocal Adrenaline?"

"Yes," Jesse replied.

"So you've been fraternising with the enemy for two months?" Mercedes demanded.

"No," Rachel frowned. "We were just sharing our artistic appreciation. People like us our bound to meet, we have high ambitions."

"What and we don't?" Kurt snapped, scowling.

"No, I didn't say that!" Rachel cried as the bell rang.

"So you've basically been passing along all of our secrets to the enemy, who is so much better than us." Mercedes summed up as they gathered their bags, heading out of the choir room.

"No!" Rachel cried again, but they ignored her. "Finn!" She ran desperately to her boyfriend, clinging to his arm. "Please Finn, you know how much this club means to me."

"No Rache," He shook her off, frowning. "I just know that you really embarrassed me, throwing yourself at him in front of everyone. Why don't you just go out with him, if he's so much better than me?" He asked bitterly, stalking from the room.

Rachel watched him go, before turning helplessly to Jesse, who just shrugged. He looked flummoxed too.

They walked down the corridors slowly, unwilling to bump into any of the other club members. Though Jesse's walk was a confident swagger as usual he still looked troubled and Rachel was nibbling on her lower lip- a nervous habit.

"I had no idea that they would jump to that conclusion." Rachel muttered. "We never said anything to each other about our set lists, did we? And we barely spoke of Glee."

He shook his head in agreement. "I had no idea that your club would have such a… such a _volatile _reaction.

"I know," Rachel sighed, hitching her bag further up her shoulder. "Obviously I wasn't saying that we were better than them, I was just saying that we enjoyed the same things."

"Of course," Jesse frowned, leaning against the lockers as she opened hers, rummaging through it.

She looked back up at him, smiling a little and opened her mouth to speak when the frozen liquid collided with her face.

A McKinley Facial, as the perpetrators like to call it, being Slushied as the victims called it. Rachel blinked away the liquid sticking to her face and ran her hand over her brow. The mixture of corn syrup, slightly frozen ice and colouring was not a nice one, but as she licked her lips she registered the fact that it was blackcurrant, her favourite flavour.

Well, that was always something.

"Oh my God," She looked up at Jesse and took in his shocked face.

"I'm guessing this isn't a custom at Carmel?" Rachel sighed, pulling a pile of clean clothes from, her locker and slamming it shut.

"No!" Jesse gasped, looking down the corridor where the perpetrator had disappeared, laughing with his friends. "Who was that?"

"Karofsky," She replied, sighing.

"Who?" Jesse scowled, turning in the direction he had gone.

"Just this hockey player who has a thing against Glee Club."

"Okay you wait here; I'm going to go have a few words with him." Jesse growled, his hands clenching into angry fist s as he started after Karofsky.

"Jesse!" Rachel grabbed onto the back of his shirt. "Don't, it's fine!"

"It is not fine!" Jesse turned on her, his eyes blazing. "He threw that stuff all over you."

"It always happens," Rachel shook her head, pushing open the door to the girl's bathroom before stopping and fixing him with a steely glare. "You'd better be here when I get back."

"I will be," He sighed and leaned against a wall, slumping downwards and stared out as the student body passed, casting him curious glances.

He couldn't help but be a little smug when Finn had stormed out on Rachel, not that he really blamed the dude. If he thought that Rachel preferred some other guy he would have had a strop too, although Finn's strop had been bordering on as bad as Rachel or Jesse's would have been. If wasn't carefully he'd become a diva.

Anything that hurt Rachel, hurt him. It was weird, like he was happy when she was happy, generally, but if something hurt her he wanted to defend her, to make her feel better again. So he'd pushed away the happiness he'd felt to a small dark corner of his mind where he could come back to it if he ever wanted to, not that he could ever anticipate that actually happening.

"Hey," Rachel stepped out of the bathroom in a navy blue pleated skirt and a deep purple woollen sweater with an owl on the front.

It wasn't that he didn't like the way she dressed, in fact, Jesse very much preferred her style to the normal outfits that the rest of the girls wore. He admired the fact that she didn't feel the need to blend in with the rest of the school; she just went her own way, not caring what other people thought of her. Well, that was Rachel all over really.

"So," Her voice brought him back from his thoughts. "Why are you here?"

"I wasn't exactly going to let you go about on your own was I?" He raised an eyebrow and she shook her head.

"You could have done, yes." She started walking and he went with her, taking her books from her hands. "What are you doing?" She asked, slightly alarmed.

"You shouldn't be carrying these." He stated.

She rolled her eyes and dropped her voice before answering. "I'm only two months Jesse,"

His mouth tightened into a thin, stubborn line and when he replied he was firm. "Does not matter."

She rolled her eyes again, but didn't reply, except from saying. "So why are you here, you don't have any Uncles?"

He shrugged, "true enough, but my parents have a second home across this side of town and I just went and stayed there."

Rachel hesitated for a moment, biting her lip slightly, she was sure they were close enough now for her to broach the subject. "Aren't your parents annoyed?"

He stopped and sighed rubbing the back of his head anxiously and when he looked at her his eyes were pained. "I highly doubt it," He answered her softly, before turning and looking at her fully. "Can we not talk about this here, I just…" His breath caught in his throat and she pulled him into her, squeezing him tightly.

"It's okay, don't worry about it." She stroked his back gently.

He pulled away when the two minute warning bell sounded. "Let's get you to class," He started to propel her along.

"Don't you need to get to class?" She frowned a little.

"I can walk faster than you," He smiled, delivering her at her class.

"Well, thank you," She smiled, "I'll call you later."

"Okay, see you later Berry." He turned and strode off down the hallway.

**Xxx**

**Bit more St Berry love for y'all. I am enjoying this story, my other one is so angsty and sad at the moment, it's nice to have this one as my little relief. :)**

**Loving the newly released glee songs. I am a massive Rent fan and I was a bit nervous when I saw that glee had covered Rent, but when I heard t I realised I shouldn't have been nervous at all. Lea and Amber owned that song! I would have been angry if anyone but those two had sung it, because they were perfect. **

**Not sure how I feel about the Justin Bieber cover, I think I'll wait and watch the episode before passing my judgement. **

**Hope you guys enjoy it, the update was quite quick this time. **

**Love, as always and PLEASE PLEASE review. **

**Thanks :)**

**Ray**

**xxxx**


	8. Chapter 7

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

Mr Shue called an emergency Glee meeting the next day, gathering them all in. Rachel and Finn had made up over the phone that night when Rachel had called him. She had then called Jesse, as promised, and told him that she and Finn were good. It was going to be hard being between the two, the tension between them practically rippled in the air. But it was nice to have Jesse there, someone to look out for her.

She sat between them now, Finn trying, unsuccessfully, to suppress the irritation from his features by staring at the floor and Jesse lounging on the chair beside her, looking as relaxed as ever.

Mr Shue entered quickly, his expression one of serious sadness that the Glee kids recognised immediately. The one that said: I'm going to have a word with you lot.

"Hi guys," He started, leaning back on the piano and there were sounds of shuffling as the kids slumped into more comfortable positions ready for the lecture that was sure to come. "I called this meeting because I wanted to talk to you, I was very disappointed with the way you treated Jesse and Rachel yesterday." There was more shuffling and a muted muttering. "No seriously, we need more people to beat Vocal Adrenaline and Jesse is very talented. Just because he was in Vocal Adrenaline before he came here and he and Rachel were friends doesn't mean that they talked to each other about Glee. Rachel puts a lot into this club, a whole lot more than some of you. I think you all over reacted."

Rachel cast a glance at Finn, who gave her a quick, insincere smile.

"Excuse me Mr Shue," Rachel turned to see Jesse rising from his seat. "I would like to say something."

"Sure," Mr Shue looked nonplussed, but stood aside for Jesse.

"I also would like to say how irritated I was at your 'welcome' for me. I came to this club, despite knowing how the school ridicules you," He glanced at Rachel, "Despite seeing it for myself I still came. I had a great team in the VA, did it never occur to you that you could find out more information about them and their tactics from me? Did it ever occur to you that I could be of some _use_? We did win three National titles with me as the lead." His sighed, a martyred expression that she recognised coming to his eyes. "But I do understand that you all auditioned for the privilege of being in Glee club. So I propose that we go down to the auditorium where I can show you what I can do."

Rachel smiled. Of course, this was Jesse all over, he knew that he was fighting an uphill battle here, but his cocky exterior remained and he planned on wowing them all with his voice.

Rachel followed her fellow team mates to the auditorium where the lights had been dimmed ready for the upcoming performance. The Glee club took their seats at the back of the front row, looking out onto the stage expectantly. Jesse jumped nimbly up the few steps and swaggered onto the stage. Rachel was surprised at how he looked on it, she knew he had talent and obviously those four national titles had done their job and made him know exactly how good he was. But when he walked across the stage it was like he owned it, all of the attention went immediately to him, he was so naturally comfortable and Rachel could see that instantly.

The music started suddenly and Rachel felt her breath catch in her throat as the familiar violins started the drums banging furiously. This was a big challenge he was taking.

"_Empty spaces - what are we living for?  
Abandoned places - I guess we know the score..."_

Jesse looked up here as his voice echoed through the auditorium, despite the lack of microphone. He eyes were flashing with the sadness of the song as he carried on singing the verse, his voice soft and gentle.

"_The Show must go on!  
The Show must go on!"_

His voice became strong as he hit the higher notes with ease. His face strained with the sadness of the song as he continued singing, his fists clenched.

_"Inside my heart is breaking,  
My make-up may be flaking,  
But my smile, still, stays on!"  
_

He continued singing, his voice almost bending to fit it, his movements around the stage fluid and strong: the movements of a trained and natural dancer. He had no problem with the song and as Rachel watched, transfixed, she couldn't help but think that Jesse sang Freddy Mercury better than any adult tribute band she had ever seen.

Despite him saying that he liked Broadway Rachel could see why their coach would want to stay on classic rock.

In that genre, if not them all, Jesse could kick ass.

The song ended energetically and Jesse turned out to look at them. Glancing around Rachel could see that the rest of the Glee kids were trying to lever their mouths closed. She couldn't blame them, when she had first heard Jesse sing he had been singing softly and quietly along to the music from a TV in her living room and she had still been astounded. But to launch the St James voice on them with something like this, a huge music number in an auditorium with amazing acoustics was just plain old cruel.

She started the clapping, standing slowly to see him better. His expression was slightly smug, staring out at them with barely concealed satisfaction.

The teenagers around her started clapping slowly as well as they gathered themselves and she looked up to see Mr Shue hastily wipe a tear from his eyes.

"I'd like to call a vote!" She announced, turning to her team. "All who agree to allowing Jesse into our group raise your hand."

12 hands went up immediately and slowly Finn followed. It seemed the group had put their initial prejudice aside and were, mostly, happy to have Jesse in their midst. She glanced up at Mr Shue and was happy to see him nodding along with them.

"Welcome to the club Jesse," He smiled.

Jesse grinned up at them, "Thank you sir."

Jesse's introduction to the club had a massive effect. He instantly took over a lot of the male solos, if only because when he tried to sing backing he would immediately drown out whoever was the lead. His voice could flex to anything, something that he proved many a time. He also had an encyclopaedic knowledge of music, in most shapes and sizes. He hated rap to the core of his body and, like Rachel, had a loathing as pure as that of Elphaba's at the beginning of _Wicked_ for anything that involved heavy metal. He had a huge knowledge of the judges at Regionals and was constantly advising them on what the judges would be looking for in their song selections.

He also became a surprisingly good back up for Rachel when she tried to argue out the finer points of their numbers with Mr Shue during lunchtimes. Whilst Finn sat in the cafeteria chatting with other jocks or Glee Club members, Jesse would be with her, debating the qualities of different musicals or trying to convince Mr Shue that their most recent number could be improved greatly.

Rachel started to feel like she was seeing more of Jesse than she was of Finn, but she felt no need to change that. Sure Finn was her boyfriend, but Jesse was her best friend and they were just a whole lot closer.

However, the problem started when Mr Shue walked into Glee rehearsal one day, a purposeful look on his face.

"So guys, I've got an idea. We've been doing a lot of songs in a group or solos recently, so I want to try with smaller groups, maybe duets?"

A murmur rippled through the waiting group.

"Do we get to choose Mr Shue?" Kurt piped up.

"No," Mr Shue grinned as they muttered in annoyance, "that would be way too easy, no, we're going to do the same as we did last term, pull names from a hat."

He produced a hat from behind him and laid it on the piano.

"You ready for this guys?" He was still grinning, "Drum roll please." Finn and Puck obligingly hit the bottom of their chairs at a thrumming pace. "Okay, the first pair is…" His eyes widened slightly as the drum roll stopped. "Jesse and Rachel."

"What?" The cry echoed through the room as the pair turned and grinned at each other.

"But Mr Shue, they're always singing together anyway," Santana scowled down at the pair. "This is unfair."

Rachel turned, answering before Mr Shue could. "The hat has spoken Santana, suck it up."

"Who asked you man hands?" Santana snapped.

Jesse opened his mouth to retort, but Mr Shue cut through them hastily.

"Hey, break it up," Turning to Santana. "Look, Rachel's right, it's all down to chance Santana."

Rachel turned to glance at Finn and saw that he was clenching the plastic of the chair so hard that it looked like it was about to crack.

"Finn," She reached out to touch his tense hand gently.

He didn't respond, staring intently at Mr Shue as he continued.

"Okay so… Finn and Tina, Artie and Santana, Quinn and Mercedes, Mike and Matt and I suppose that just leaves Kurt and Brittany."

Rachel glanced up to see how Kurt was taking this and the fashionista caught her looking, casting her a dark glance.

"So," Mr Shue watched as the filed out. "The assignment is in for this week okay? Make sure you've got some things prepared."

The students didn't reply, scattering into the crowd of pupils moving quickly up and down the corridor.

"Hey," Rachel turned to Jesse, "I'll catch up with you later okay? I need to talk to Finn."

"Okay," Jesse's eyes were troubled, but he gave her a small smile, moving into the stream of teenagers.

Rachel dropped back, peering over the cluster of bodies around her to see Finn. It wasn't difficult, his 6 ft height towered over everyone, even the seniors like Jesse. She battled her way towards him, trying to protect her stomach as much as she could.

"Finn!" She cried through the babble of voices, catching hold of his arm. He looked down, startled and his eyes hardened at the sight of her.

"Finn, what's wrong?" Rachel tried to speak through the noise, but it was impossible. She pulled him unwillingly into an empty classroom, before turning to talk to him.

"What's wrong?" She asked, more softly this time.

"Nothing," He avoided looking at her, glancing away.

"Something, Finn, we have to be honest with each other." She felt a fraud speaking these words and tried to restrain from glancing down at her stomach.

"Okay," Finn's voice was abruptly angry. "If we're being honest, tell me, is there a thing between you and Jesse?"

"No!" She looked aghast, physically staggering back from his question as if he'd hit her.

He raised his eyebrows, sceptical.

"No!" She repeated, imploring.

"Really?" His voice was still hard, sarcastic.

Anger flashed through her and she scowled. "I understand that you find it hard to deal with the close relationship that Jesse and I have together, but we are both upcoming Broadway stars it is logical that we would be the same. I know that I can be high maintenance Finn, a fact that we sacrifice for our relationship, but I can't believe that you have just a problem dealing with the fact that I have an actual friend!"

"It's just that there are boundaries between friends and you know," He looked uncomfortable, "_friends_."

"Well Jesse and I are purely the former Finn, I swear."

"Really?" His voice was weaker now, as he looked at her.

She moved a little closer, until she was only a step away from him. "Really," She promised.

"Oh," The tense set of his shoulders suddenly relaxed, slumping down, "okay," He took a step towards her and wrapped his arms around her.

Rachel smiled, breathing in the scent of lavender that his mother obviously used to wash his clothes.

But deep inside her there was a niggling thought, a memory of the tingles she felt when she was hugging Jesse, the strange heat she sometimes felt deep in her chest at the sight of him.

"Okay," She repeated, trying to convince herself more than him.

Being perfectionists Rachel and Jesse had their number ready by the next day. The argument of what to do had never happened, Jesse had suggested something and she had agreed immediately. The only issue was a slight worry Rachel had about what Finn would think, but it was unlikely he would know the origins of the song.

They announced that they had their song ready and said they wanted to do it in the auditorium. As they led the way down Rachel could have sworn she heard Mercedes mutter "Drama queens."

She didn't care though.

They went to stand on the stage as the Glee club sat in their seats.

"Hey," Jesse murmured, walking closer to her, "Not nervous are you?"

"Not about the number," She replied, softly.

"What then?" His voice was gentle.

"What will Finn think, I mean, I know this is all just acting, projecting the feeling of the song, but I'm worried about how he will see it."

"Don't worry," Jesse smiled that self- assured smile. "This is all an acting exercise right? So he should understand that. It'll be fine."

She nibbled on her lip. "If you're sure?"

"Very sure." He smiled, "Now Berry, come on, stars don't get nervous."

"That's why I'm not nervous." Rachel grinned as the music started playing slowly, a gentle guitar rift.

"_I should tell you, I'm disaster…_" Jesse turned to her, singing softly. "_I forget how to begin it._"

"_Let's just make this part go faster, I have yet to be in it…"_ Rachel took a step towards him, singing gently, "_I should tell you,_"

"_I should tell you_." He moved a step towards her, mimicking her actions and keeping his eyes locked with hers.

"_I should tell you_," She repeated, moving another step.

"_I should tell you_," He moved forwards until they were stood right beside each other.

"_I should tell you I blew that candle out just to get back in."_ She looked away, embarrassed.

His fingers met her chin and lifted her face to meet his eyes again. "_I'd forgotten how to smile before your candle burnt my skin_."

Her eyes blazed, staring into hers as she sang. "_I should tell you,_"

"_I should tell you_," He brushed his hand down her cheek and she tried to ignore the tingles that ran through her.

"_I should tell you_,"

"_I should tell …_" They sang together their voices rising together through the auditorium. "_Well here we go, now we-"_

Rachel cut him off, turning away from him to murmur. "_Oh no…"_ Before turning back as he sang.

"_I know, this something is… Here goes." _He moved closer to her, so their bodies were touching, brushing next to each other.

"_Here goes,"_ She smiled a little.

"_Guess so, it's starting, who knows?"_ He smiled back, his hand snaking around her waist softly.

"_Who knows?"_ She moved closer to him and they turned out to face their audience as they sang together, their voices twining into one:

"_Who knows where? Who goes there?  
Who knows? Here goes_

"Trusting desire, starting to learn  
Walking through fire without a burn  
Clinging a shoulder a leap begins  
Stinging and older, asleep on pins

"_So here we go, now we, oh no…"_

"_I know," _Rachel sang gently, turning to face him, her hand coming up to cup his cheek lightly.

"_Oh no," _His eyes were burning with a strange intensity as they stared at her.

She joined in with him as he sang. "_Who knows where? Who goes there? "_

He pulled her closer, his hands circling her waist as she hugged him around the neck, leaning on his chest and staring blindly out in the audience. His heart was thrumming beneath her ear, the heat radiating from beneath his shirt making her tingle again.

"_Here goes, here goes, here goes, here goes, here goes…"_ They pulled back to stare at one another as they sang the last line in voices so soft it could have been a whisper. _"Here goes..."_

There was silence in the auditorium, much like that after Jesse's performance. Rachel pulled away and looked anxiously out into the dark stage, the stage lights blinding her.

The clapping started slowly, but was joined in quickly. It was the best applause eleven people could give.

"Well done guys," Mr Shue spoke loudly and the stage lights were flicked off, leaving only the normal lighting. Abruptly released of her blindness Rachel could see his smiling face and the awe struck faces of the rest of the Glee club.

Apart from Finn.

Finn wasn't there.

He was gone.

**Xxx**

**And there goes another chapter. I have recently finished planning a huge part of this story guys, so I can officially get down to writing and say that I know where this is going, which is uncommon. **

**I'm gonna be a mean old hag now and ask for eight reviews before I update. Reviews are gold dust and there has been a serious decline in them recently. The more reviews I get, the faster I'll update, so it's in your best interest to review ;)**

**Also, I've noticed a lack of St Berry fics recently, which is very sad, so I'm trying to update all of mine asap and keep everyone up to date on their St Berry love. **

**Anyone else wondering when the hell Jesse will make his return? I sure am. **

**Okay, not much left to say, except another plea for reviews. **

**I love reading them, they literally make my day… Everyone I know thinks it's very odd. **

**Love as always**

**Ray**

**xxx**


	9. Chapter 8

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

Rachel was waiting.

She wasn't sure if he was going to turn up, not if she was being honest with herself.

After the _I Should Tell You_ fiasco he hadn't talked to her, she hadn't even seen him. He'd been off doing something or other. But they'd had arrangements for that evening and she was clinging desperately to the hope that he wouldn't bail on her.

He was already half an hour late and he hadn't called, or text her, she was sure of it. Her fathers sat with her as she waited, watching outside in the darkness, hopeful that he would come.

He didn't.

She spent a restless night, the first in months and her dreams were filled with shadowy figures which she tried to run to, but would always disappear just before she got to them.

The next morning she looked awful.

Her hair was a mess and her eyes had long, tired bags beneath them.

She couldn't even bring herself to care.

She bundled her hair up behind her, grabbed an apple and left the house, intent on getting to school. The fear that Finn was going to reject her again made her unable to eat and she ended up tossing the apple in the trash. The fear was only lessened slightly be the thought that this time she would have Jesse with her, that this rejection couldn't possibly be as bad as all of the many rejections she'd gotten last year because she had her best friend.

When Jesse arrived he didn't comment on how she looked, just put a gentle arm around her shoulders and led her inside.

She didn't see Finn until fourth period. He was stood by his locker, looking tall and cute as ever. She walked up to him slowly, saying softly.

"Hey Finn."

He glanced down at her before turning back to his locker and commenting, casually. "Oh, hi."

"I missed you last night," She attempted at a smile, but her tired face could barely cope.

"Yeah, I got caught up in football and stuff." He still wasn't looking at her.

Sighing, she took him by the arm and made him look at her. "Why are you angry?"

His jaw clenched as he answered, in a deliberately measured voice. "I'm not mad."

"Yes you are," She countered, "what did I do that made you stand me up last night?"

Finn glanced away, before looking back at her, his eyes full of accusation. "You and Jesse, that song…"

"It was just acting Finn!" She cried, almost angry. "It was an acting exercise. That song is from a Broadway musical, so when it's sung it has to be sung with _emotion_. It doesn't mean anything Finn!"

"It doesn't?" He looked almost nonplussed.

"Not at all," She sighed, shaking her head.

"It was all acting?" He checked.

"Everything," She agreed and he bent down to hug her. She hugged him back tightly, glad to be back on good terms with him.

Jesse watched as they embraced, from further down the corridor and tried to swallow down the knot of jealousy that curled his stomach up.

Jesse had been an idiot.

He was best friends with Rachel. Rachel was going out with Finn and yet he had allowed himself to be over come by emotion and do that stupid Rent song with her. One of the most romantic songs on Broadway, although there was a long list. When he first suggested it he had expected her to shoot him down, to tell him he was being ridiculous. It would almost have been easier if she had figured it out now, if she had worked out how he was attracted to her and banished him from her life.

Almost easier, but not quite.

However Rachel, sweet, innocent Rachel hadn't suspected a thing. The closest she had become was when she had had a moment of doubt before they went on stage and asked him whether it was right for them to do what they were planning. The panic he had felt was almost unbearable, so he had fed her a line about it being an acting exercise and that it was needed if they were going to sing a musical number.

So she had believed him.

And they had had the most intense stage moment of his life. He had been tingling all over, almost trembling as she hesitantly reached out to caress his cheek. It had not been in their original choreographing, which made him wonder if she was as caught up in the moment as he was.

Then Finn had stood her up. He knew because her dads had called him, asking if he knew where Finn was. He hadn't of course, but it had made him think.

If Finn broke up with her then she would need a place of comfort, a shoulder to cry on. He could be that shoulder.

Which was absurd.

He felt almost dirty for thinking these thoughts of his best friend. Not just his best friend, his _pregnant_ best friend.

Which was another problem.

When Finn found out there was going to be fireworks, not that Jesse cared so much about that. He more cared about how it would affect Rachel. At this moment she barely acknowledged the child's presence. She was in denial. Whereas Jesse was hyper aware of it. Every movement she made he would check if it would hurt the baby. He hated when Glee club did especially energetic dance routines because he worried so much about her.

He could only hope that the realisation would come soon.

Although Finn and Rachel were back on track there seemed an aura of tension around the pair. They would argue about anything, be it the last chip or when they would meet up for dates. Each little thing would turn into a huge row.

It impacted on the Glee club, they all felt it. It caused worry among them and the team muttered about who they would side with if it came to an actual feud. Rachel didn't have many followers.

The strange, troublesome tension hung about the pair, following them whenever they were together and making in almost impossible to be with them. It was like the calm before the storm, the way that the weather is really hot before a storm.

They were all waiting for the pair to snap.

The day of the snap came faster than anyone thought. The couple had been squabbling all day, but it was in Glee club that the actual crack came.

Rachel had been leading the group through warm ups as always when she suddenly stopped, hands on her hips, an irritated expression on her face.

"Finn," She said loudly, "You're singing off key."

Finn flushed and glared angrily at her as the gazes in the room were all turned his way.

"I'm sorry," Rachel continued, her expression softening slightly. "But we won't win if you don't gather yourself together and actually sing on key. It's better that I tell you now not the judges in a few months."

Finn continued glaring at her, not replying.

Rachel turned to Jesse and said; her voice calmer now. "Care to show him Jesse?"

Jesse opened his mouth to do as she bid him, but Finn cut through.

"I don't know why you feel the need to do this!" He was suddenly shouting and those closest to him cringed away.

"Finn!" Rachel reprimanded, hotly. "Calm your temper and what are you talking about?"

"You, with him!" He gestured wildly to Jesse, who looked unconcerned, leaning against the piano close to Rachel. "You're always using him to compare me- it's unfair and justless."

"Unjust," She corrected.

"Whatever!" He cried. "It's so harsh!"

Rachel glanced at the now gawking Glee clubbers and grabbed Finn's hand, leading him outside. Jesse followed a few paces behind them and shut the door firmly behind them. Rachel dragged Finn a few paces out into the middle of the deserted corridor.

"Finn," She started but he cut her off.

"Don't you Finn me! I am always being compared to him, I don't know why you don't just marry him or something!" Finn shouted, still gesticulating madly.

"Finn, calm down," Rachel tried, but he talked over her.

"You prefer him to me, it's obvious, you're always so, oh me and Jesse this and me and Jesse that."

"That is a lie, I am not!" She was shouting too now.

"It is not a lie!" Finn scowled. "I bet you guys are together secretly… you are aren't you, that's why you're so close- you're a cheat!"

Rachel scowled at him from her small height, glaring at him with such force that he stepped back. "No, you're the cheat, Finn Hudson. I saw you, with Quinn the other day, by her locker, I heard what you said!"

"I…" Finn looked taken a back.

"I heard you tell her that you were still attracted to her!" Rachel was almost screaming now. "And I see you with the other Cheerios, flirting and smiling. I'm not good enough for _you_ am I?"

She waited desperately for him to reply, but he didn't.

When she spoke again, her voice was softer. "Once a loser always a loser, huh Finn?"

He just shook his head. "I don't know I…" He cast a glance at Jesse and his expression changed. "I have to go, I can't think here, there's too much…" He waved his hands around and turned on his heel, hurrying off down the corridor.

Once he was gone her defences crumbled and the tears started to pour down her cheeks in an unending trail.

"Berry," Jesse stepped forward and pulled her into a hug as she sobbed into his shoulder. "It's okay," He soothed gently. "It's going to be okay…" His hand slipped down and he cupped her chin, moving her face up to look at him. It was so perfect, he couldn't resist. Slowly, hesitantly, he lowered his lips onto hers, moulding them gently around hers. It was perfect, better than he could ever have imagined. A warmth like no other spread through him, heating him from head to toe.

For a moment she kissed back as the fireworks exploded before her eyes, her hands going up to run through his soft hair, tingles running through her frantically. This was so much better. The best thing. There was nothing else, just him and her and them. Together.

She came to her senses abruptly, pushing him away as the tears started again.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asked, softly.

"No," She half sobbed, trying to push herself away from his embrace. "I just cant do this, not right now."

"Why not?" He asked urgently. "Because it feels right, because it makes us feel something?"

"No," She repeated, managing to struggle away from him and staggering a few steps down the deserted corridor. "I just… I can't do this now… I have to… I'm sorry." Turning she fled down the corridor, leaving a confused and angry boy behind her.

**Xxx**

**Thanks so much for all the reviews guys!**

**Shorter update than normal, but it worked well this way :)**

**I friend of mine said the funniest thing to me the other day. She said 'Ray, why do you have such an obsession with glee?' and I was like 'Because it's incredibly amazing, duh' and then she just looked at me, shook her head in despair and sighed and said: 'You are such a Gleetard.'**

**How amazing is that? Gleetard. I laughed so hard I fell off my chair XD**

**Schools killing all my writing time at the moment :/ Sad times. **

**Okay, so Finn has had a strop (why are we not surprised?) and Jesse has taken matters into his own hands. Things are hotting up :) But… not much. **

**I'd like eight or nine reviews before I update please :)**

**Love you all!**

**Ray**

**xxxx**


	10. Chapter 9

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

It wasn't a problem to leave. He called Johnny, just to check he'd be there, got the money from the shiny black card that was the only evidence he actually had parents and drove to the airport. Half an hour later he was on a plane and an hour after that he was landing in sunny California.

Johnny didn't ask any questions, just drove him home, talking about _American Idiot_ and how well everything was going and how pleased Lauren would be to see him.

That's what he needed. Time to think things through without being tormented by the sight of those big brown eyes that haunted his thoughts.

**xxx**

"Jesse, dude, wake up man."

Jesse blinked opening his eyes slowly. Beneath him was the soft Californian sand and a hot sun was helping him catch up on his tan. He squinted up at the figure above him, fumbling in the sand beside him until he found his sunglasses.

"Hey man," He smiled at his friend as Johnny sat down in the sand next to him.

"How long you been out here?" Johnny asked.

Jesse shrugged, "Maybe two or three hours, I'm not sure. I was asleep."

"Yeah, I realised." Johnny raised his eyebrows slightly.

"How was work?" Jesse joked, pulling himself up.

"Fine," Johnny laughed. "Aren't you missing school being out here with me?"

"Yes," Jesse's tone grew serious. "It's really very irresponsible of you to let me be here." He grinned.

Johnny nodded. "Maybe I should send you home."

Jesse sighed and shook his head. "Not like anyone's missing me." He muttered.

"What about Rachel?" Johnny peered down at him, watching his friend's reaction closely.

Jesse shrugged, noncommittally, careful to keep his expression neutral.

Johnny sighed. "What happened there man? You guys were so close."

"_Were_," Jesse muttered.

"What did you do?"

Jesse scowled up at him. "Why do you presume it was all me?" He snapped.

Johnny just raised an eyebrow, waiting.

Jesse sighed and lay back, staring up at the sky, unwilling to look at his friend as he spoke. "I messed it up, big time." He sighed again. "I started to feel for her… as more than a friend you know?" He glanced at Johnny. "It wasn't working, not for me anyway. I just felt this strange kind of longing. I mean," He shrugged. "I've been with a fair share of girls, but none of them have felt like this before. It's weird." He sighed again. "But she's dating this guy, Finn. He's a douche." He added. "I don't know, it was never going to work because of… you know… the pregnancy thing. He wasn't going to stay with her when she told him. So I figured I'd just stay until then. But they had this fight and I was there. She turned to me for comfort. And I kind of… kissed her."

He glanced up at Johnny.

His friend pursed his lips before he answered. "What did she do?"

"Well, she was sort of crying at the time. She just pulled away and said she couldn't do this now. But at first she kissed me back, I swear."

Johnny just shook his head. "If you really like her, you should go back. She didn't say not ever right? She'll probably be wondering where you are, you've been sulking on this beach for three days now. If you don't go now they'll make up and you'll never have a chance."

"What?" Jesse shot up.

"Yeah," Johnny seemed unconcerned at the panic in his friends' voice. "They'll make up and you'll never get this chance again."

"Oh my God, you're right, I've got to go." Jesse tore off down the beach and Johnny sighed, heaving himself up from the sand and following at a gentle jog.

**xxx**

It was raining in Lima. Heavily. Jesse was thankful for his car, which had his stuff from Johnny's in the back and strong headlights. One of his Queen albums was playing and he was driving through the sodden streets of Lima singing at the top of his voice, and rather well he thought.

He only glanced out of the window by chance. He had never seen the park before in his life, but he was surprised to see that there was a figure there, especially when it was raining bullets. Curious he pulled his car up at the side of the road and clambered out, hurrying across the road and into the playground.

"Hello?" He called, over the sound of the rain. "Are you okay?"

There was no response from the figure, so he ran closer, his breath catching when he recognised her. He would know that red and white sweater anywhere.

"Rachel?" He cried, appalled as he sprinted now, skidding to a halt beside the shivering girl who was curled up on the swing. "Oh my God, Rachel?" Her hair stuck to her face in long, wet strands and he pushed them away to see her eyes flutter open.

"Jesse?" She asked; her voice quiet.

"Rachel, thank God, Rachel!" He pulled the girl up into his arms, grateful for the rigorous training sessions Miss Corcoran had made them do at Carmel. It made her as light as a feather.

He carried her quickly back to his car and sat her in the passenger seat, running around to the seat next to her and shrugging off his coat, placing it around her shoulders in an attempt to warm her up.

"Rachel?" He shook her shoulders lightly and the girl clinked up at him again.

"Jesse? What are you doing?" She frowned, her voice weaker now.

"I'm taking you home," He didn't think about it, just drove, plummeting through the streets until they arrived at the town house his Uncle owned. Before transferring to McKinley he hadn't been there very much, but he was starting to prefer it to his own house now. It was smaller, which made it far less obvious that he was there alone. Pulling her into his arms he carried her towards the front door.

"Can you stand?" He asked and she nodded. Gently he set her on her feet, keeping a strong arm around her just in case. Awkwardly he got the key from his jeans pocket and unlocked the door, before pocketing the key and sweeping her up into his arms again, ignoring her protests.

Pushing the door shut behind them he deliberated for a moment, then carried her up the stairs and into his room, lying her down on the bed. He draped the blanket over her and hurried downstairs to make a hot water bottle. When he was done he brought it back and found her sat up in his bed, looking around the room.

"Here," He handed the hot package to her and she smiled gratefully, hugging it to her chest. He grabbed another blanket, draping it around her shoulders.

"How are you doing?" He asked, after a moment of silence.

"I'm good," Her voice was stronger now, and her shivering had disappeared.

"Good," He took a seat beside her and laid a hand on her leg. "What were you doing there Berry?"

She turned away from him for a moment before saying. "What are you doing here Jesse? I thought you'd vanished off somewhere."

"Yeah well, I came back." He frowned. "Don't try and change the subject, what were you doing in the pouring rain?"

"Nothing," She shook her head.

"Well there was obviously something," His voice became gentler. "What was it Berry?"

She bit her lip, refusing to meet his eyes.

"You can tell me anything," He murmured. "You know that."

She glanced up at him unsurely and took a deep breath. "I think Finn and I broke up."

"Okay," Jesse struggled to keep a straight face. "Well, that's too bad, what happened?"

"We were talking, it was the first time, you know, since Glee club the other day." She sniffed a little. "We were going to try and work on it, but he said he wanted us both to be honest in this relationship. So he told me about his dad, about how he died when he was born and that he really misses him. He was opening up to me and I was just too overwhelmed. So I told him about…" Her eyes slid down to her stomach, cradling it gently.

"Really?" Jesse's whisper was shocked.

"Yeah," Her voice cracked as tears began to stream down her face. He reached over to hold her hands in his as she continued to speak. "And he was really angry, he thinks it's yours, he ran off… after dumping me."

Her sobs became heavier now and she leaned forward to lay her head against his chest, sobs shaking her body. He held her tightly, his face twisted with anguish at her pain. After a while her sobs became weaker and finally trailed off. Looking down at her he saw that her eyes had drifted closed and she was sleeping soundly.

Slowly he laid her down on the bed, pulling the blankets over to cover her. He wrote her a hurried note, saying that he would be back soon and to help herself to anything she wanted. Placing it next to her on the pillow he hesitantly reached out and stroked her hair, bending down and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

**xxx**

The drive to Finn's house was an angry one. He vaguely remembered Rachel once describing where it was and was thankful for having a good memory. He hoped that there would be nobody with him, the last think he needed was a huge punch up with Puck and Finn, or a court case from his mother. However, when he arrived at the small, box like house he recognised only Finn's beaten up old car in the driveway.

Parking roughly, he jumped out, stalking up the path and to the front door, banging angrily on the wood.

It was a moment before the door was opened, by a startled Finn.

"What do you-" Finn started, but Jesse barged past him, slamming the door behind him before turning to the taller boy.

"You," Finn looked astonished, which didn't seem unusual to Jesse.

"Me," Jesse agreed.

"What do you want?" Finn growled, scowling angrily at him.

"You are such an idiot, you know that?" Jesse snapped.

"What?"

Jesse shook his head, exasperated. "I didn't sleep with your girlfriend Finn. Or should I say your _ex_- girlfriend."

"You must have done," Fin frowned. "She's… you know." He made a vague gesture to a rounded stomach.

"No, Finn. When I met her she was pregnant."

Finn's frown became confused. "Then she must have been with some other dude."

"Not by choice Finn," Jesse scowled at him, waiting as the cogs turned slowly in Finn's head, fitting together. He could almost see the light bulb over the top of his head.

"Over Christmas…" Finn gaped. "She was… Oh my God."

"Yeah, over Christmas." Jesse took a step towards him. "But I swear Hudson, if you say _anything_ about this to _anyone_," His voice turned icy and sinister. "I will make sure that you will never play another game of football, or do another dance move ever again, you have my word on it."

Finn shivered slightly at the menace in the older boys' voice ad nodded hurriedly. "God," Hew shook his head. "I had no idea…"

"Of course not," Jesse spat, the anger in him allowing no sympathy for the boy. "You just blindly jumped to conclusions."

He stepped around him, going for the door before turning and saying. "And Finn, I never break my word." Turning he slammed the door shut behind him as he left the house.

**xxx**

Over the next few days the tension of the Finn and Rachel relationship slowly petered out. They didn't give each other a second glance and Mr Shue, noticing their discomfort when singing with one another, gave more of the leads to Jesse. Which suited Rachel fine. Everything was suddenly going quite smoothly.

Rachel started pushing the group even harder for Regionals, which surprised none of them. She would suggest a number and then discard it, all in the space of five minutes.

Jesse worried about her and about the strain she put on the baby. He didn't show it, of course, she would only berate him if he did.

Finn had kept his distance so far, saying only as much as he needed to. Jesse had heard nothing on the grape vine that suggested that Rachel was pregnant and no one treated her any differently.

Well, that was a lie actually, they did.

Now that she hung out with him people seemed more inclined to be nice to her, or at least talk to her, which was better than before. There were no more slushie facials, that he knew of anyway and the jocks didn't harass her as much anymore.

He had only once been approached with a slushie. He had explained to the carrier, a rather large, thick sculled jock, that he was only feeling the need to do this because he had no confidence in himself and that there was a small little girl deep inside him and all he needed to do was unlock that inner girl and that he would have a lot more success with the opposite sex. Although the wording had been a lot more complicated, rather Rachel Berry-esque he thought.

He hadn't been approached after that, and the jocks and Cheerios even looked at him with a small ounce of what he would call respect.

So things were going well.

For now anyway.

**xxx**

The semester seemed to have flown by, so Rachel was surprised when Jesse informed her that they were nearing the last day before they had a holiday. He had asked lightly if she had any plans and she had had to admit that no, she hadn't.

He had only laughed, pulling her into a sudden hug.

Never in her life had she imagined that he would be planning something, that that seemingly innocent questioning was not innocent at all.

So when she found the envelope containing the tickets on her doorstep, the morning before they broke up, she was shocked.

In Glee club she confronted him.

"What is this?" She had asked, frowning at him and waving the envelope in front of his face.

"Our plans, Berry, you not pleased?" He cocked his head to one side, something he did when he was confused.

"You organised all of this?" She asked, incredulously.

"Yep, down to every last detail." He grinned at her.

"Really? We're really going?" A slow smile grew on her face.

"Sure are, are you not happy? I thought you liked Johnny?" He frowned at her, worried, but she ran to him, launching herself into his arms.

Laughing he hugged her gently, careful not to squish her.

"Lauren and Johnny won't mind?" She checked, glancing up at him.

"I don't expect so, they're out of town."

"What?" She frowned, confused.

"Yeah, they're going off to Canada to see Lauren's parents." Jesse shuddered a little. "So Johnny said we could use their house if we wanted to."

"Wow," Rachel's smile widened. "Seriously, that's so great!"

Jesse smiled too. "Glad you approve."

"Good because I do." Rachel poked her tongue out at him.

He pretended to sigh, rolling his eyes. "Maybe you're too immature to be doing this."

Rachel laughed aloud. "You love me for it."

Jesse shrugged, looking sheepish. "Guilty as charged."

Rachel giggled again, burrowing into him and walking with him to their seats, where Jesse slung his arm around her shoulders.

"What are y'all doing for the holidays?" Mercedes asked, glancing around the group.

"I'm gonna go visit my Aunt in Kentucky," Kurt sighed, flicking his hair away from his face. "Yet again."

"Why would I tell you?" Santana spat, before turning to Britanny, who said, vaguely.

"Have we got a holiday?"

Jesse shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Well, Rachel and I are heading out."

"W-where?" Tina asked.

"California, we're staying in the house owned by a friend of mine."

"Really, just you two?" The group seemed to turn as one to look at Finn. Jesse seemed unconcerned, but Rachel nibbled nervously on her bottom lip, refusing to meet her ex's eyes.

"Yeah, for a week, should be good right Berry?" Jesse glanced down at Rachel.

She nodded, "Yeah, looking forward to it," A mischievous glint appeared in her eyes. "Except from having to spend a week with this idiot," She jerked her head in his direction.

Jesse took on a wounded expression. "You hurt me in so many ways it's a miracle I'm still standing."

"It takes more than a few comments from me to hurt the St James ego," Rachel laughed.

"Ah," Jesse held up a hand. "But it's a well deserved ego."

Rachel raised an eyebrow, then just shrugged, "Maybe, if it was I wouldn't want to say it, it'd just inflate it even more." She giggled and Jesse's eyes widened, his mouth forming an 'o' shape.

"You'll pay for that, you little scamp." He started to tickle her and she giggled, squirming away.

"No," She gasped, still giggling. "No stop it."

"Say sorry!" He commanded, continuing to tickle her.

"Okay… okay!" She laughed. "Sorry, sorry!"

He released her, laughing. "You should be ashamed; you just gave up your cause to a few minor tickles. Shame on you Rachel Berry, shame on you."

She purely poked her tongue out at him.

He copied her, laughing.

"Now who's the immature one?" Rachel laughed.

He adopted a whiny tone. "You started it."

"Did not," She laughed.

"Did so," He replied.

She opened her mouth to reply, but Mr Shue walked in, halting what could have been a never ending conversation.

**Xxx**

**Thank you so much for the reviews! They were so great! Make my day XD**

**Anyone heard 'Get It Right' yet? Wow, how great is that song? I was blown away when I heard it. I mean, it could be more powerful, it isn't exactly another 'Don't Rain on My Parade' but the words… wow, they just fit exactly to my image of how Rachel is at the moment. **

**Gorgeous. **

**The other song I think is good, although it starts off a little bit too HSM for my tastes, but again, the words fit so well :)**

**Okay, so finally Finn and Rachel have broken up **_***mini happy dance***_

**We're still awaiting Jesse's return on the show. Sigh. **

**Okay, that's probably all I have to say for now, oh and I love 'Blame it on the Alcohol'. **

**Oh! I just saw 'I Am Number Four' its very good, go and see it if you can!**

**I think eight or nine reviews before I update guys. I'm already considering a sequel to this story. **

**Lots of love**

**Ray**

**xxx**


	11. Chapter 10

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

"Have you packed?" Was the first thing Jesse asked when she picked up the phone.

"Yes," She laughed, "I just finished."

"Good," He replied, "Because I'm about to pull up in your drive way."

She raised her eyebrows. "Really? And you didn't think to give me any notice."

"I just did, didn't I?" Outside she could here the purr of a car engine.

"Warning me that you're coming one minute before you turn up at the door does not count."

"Why not?" He sounded wounded and she laughed as she pulled her bags down the stairs. Once at the bottom the doorbell rang and she struggled to get rid of the bags and pull open the door. Jesse stood before her, his hair rumpled, looking dashing in a pair of dark blue jeans and a white shirt, with his iPhone still held up to his ear.

"This is cheesy." She spoke into the phone still.

"You love it." He replied, pulling her into a tight hug.

"No comment," She replied, pocketing her phone. "You got everything?"

"Yep," He smiled and then peered around the door to where her pile of luggage sat. His mouth popped open and Rachel watched, suppressing a giggle as he struggles for words.

"Wow, would you look at that, I am officially the first person to make the infamous Jesse St James speechless." She grinned.

Jesse finally found his voice and when he spoke his voice was slightly hysterical. "We're only going for a week!"

"But I'm a girl." Rachel smiled, tapping his nose gently and turning to grab her purse and a suitcase.

"Oh yes, that explains everything doesn't it," Jesse muttered, turning to take the suitcase from her. "Give me that, you know you're not supposed to carry it!"

She raised her eyebrows, before saying. "Okay, sorry _dad_."

He didn't reply, grabbing her other suitcase in his hand and carrying them out easily. Rachel followed him out, shutting the door and turning to watch him.

He dumped the two bags in the trunk and she went to her seat, pulling her seat belt around her slightly swollen stomach as she turned to him, her eyebrows raised.

"Well, I guess I know how you managed to carry up all those steps into your room now,"

Jesse grinned crookedly. "You New Directions kids don't know how easy you get it, at Vocal Adrenaline we were pushed hard."

"But of course you can cope with it because you're strong and manly." She giggled and he nodded.

"Quite correct Miss Berry, I am indeed, strong and manly in fact I'm a _stud_." He laughed with her.

"Well, _stud_, does Johnny have any good films at his house?"

"Oh yeah, there's _Rent, My Fair Lady, Okalahoma, Oliver, Billy Elliot…" _

Rachel giggled again. "Oh yes, very manly."

"Hey!" He sounded offended. "Billy Elliot is _so _manly!"

She laughed, shaking her head. "Just drive St James."

They spent the time in the car bantering and generally talking. Rachel was always secretly waiting for him to become fed up with her, or for them to run out of something to talk about. But it never happened.

Their flight was delayed, so, although they had left late afternoon, they didn't board until later that evening.

Rachel was normally a slightly nervous flier, not that she'd ever admit it to anyone, as Jesse always said 'stars don't get nervous', but this flight seemed to last only a few moments, let alone a few hours.

Jesse could tell that she was tired when they arrived and picked up the hire car he had ordered. She managed to keep her eyes open for around ten minutes into the drive, but by then she was gone. He smiled at her fondly and drove in silence.

She still hadn't awoken once they arrived and Jesse didn't have the heart to do it himself. So once again he scooped her up and took her upstairs, leaving her in the guest bedroom and coming back downstairs to retrieve their many things, mostly Rachel's and deposit them in the large lounge.

It wasn't late that evening, but Jesse didn't like clattering around the large house by himself; it reminded him of being at home and everything he had come here to avoid, so he went to bed around half an hour after Rachel. He hesitated over Johnny and Lauren's room, as their bed was extremely comfortable, but the thought of what they had been doing in there made him go for the second guest bedroom, just down the hall from Rachel's.

Sighing, he changed and collapsed into the bed, drifting off surprisingly quickly into sleep, content in the knowledge that Rachel was just down the hall.

When he awoke the next morning he could tell immediately that Rachel was still asleep. The house was too quiet and still for her to be up. Clambering slowly up he pulled open the curtains to see that the sun was shining, despite it being late February and he smiled to himself, shaking his head. For the first time in his life he was grateful for Global Warming.

Padding quietly from his room he crossed the hallway and slowly opened Rachel's door. A bundle in the bed that breathed slowly and deeply made it obvious that she was still asleep. Smiling a little he pulled the door shut again, walking slowly down the stairs and into the large, white kitchen.

Rachel awoke to a strange smell wafting through the house. Opening her eyes she sat up quickly and then swayed slightly as a wave of vertigo hit her. How long had she been asleep? Glancing at the unfamiliar alarm clock from was surprised to find the she had been sleeping for about ten hours. She pulled herself out from the covers and carefully got to her weight, testing that the vertigo had passed. As soon as she was sure it had she left the strange room, entering at equally white and equally unfamiliar hallway with large, arty canvases on the walls.

Following her nose she walked quickly down the stairs and through the strange rooms that filled the house, into a large kitchen.

"Hey sleepy head," She struggled to catch her breath as she spotted Jesse. He was in only jogging bottoms that he evidently slept in, no shirt with his hair ruffled.

He was suddenly incredible beautiful.

"Berry?" He turned to look at her and she felt her breathing hitch again as she saw the muscular panes of his chest, lightly tanned.

"Hmm," The sound of his voice moved her eyes up to meet his and she sighed inwardly when she saw his raised eyebrows. "See something you like?"

She shrugged him off with barely believable nonchalance. "You wish St James."

He only laughed and pointed to the table, where a bowl of something sat steaming. "Vegan porridge with a skirt of treacle, your favourite right?"

She grinned at him gratefully. " Thanks," Sitting in the chair she took the spoon he offered her and dug into the porridge greedily. A sour taste met her tongue and she blanched, running for the sink and leaning over it, retching into it as Jesse came from behind her again, pulling her hair away from her face and whispering encouragements in her ears.

When she was finally done she pulled away, her face pale and was glad to be confronted with a large glass of water, using it to swill her mouth out.

"You okay?" He asked finally.

"Yeah," She shrugged and turned back to frown at the porridge. "What did you put _in_ that thing?"

He shrugged, "Same as normal, just soy milk, oats…" He shrugged again, nonplussed.

She shrugged too and went to the fridge, smiling when she saw the bottle of soy milk.

"Did Johnny buy this?" She asked, pulling it out.

"Yeah, I asked him to get you some when they went shopping." Jesse grinned.

"Tell him thanks from me, and thanks to you too." She poured the milk out into a glass and took a long gulp, waiting for the usual calmness to spread through her unsettled stomach. It never came however and she found herself running to the drain, repeating the earlier process.

When she pulled away finally she looked at Jesse with horror filled eyes.

"The baby doesn't want me to be vegan anymore." She whispered.

Jesse sighed, but shrugged. "It natural," He said, "It's trying to show you what it wants and being vegan isn't always that great, especially if you're eating for two."

She shook her head frantically. "But I can't not be vegan Jesse, it's all I've ever known."

"You have to think about the baby," He replied and she sighed, looking down at her slight swollen stomach.

Cupping her hands over it she murmured quietly. "Is that what you want baby? For your mother to eat diary?"

There was no response and she sighed again. "I suppose I have no choice, I can't keep doing this." She gestured to the sink.

"Come on, you'll be fine, you just have to eat more diary, if it's what the baby wants the body won't reject it."

"How do you know so much?" She asked as he led her to her seat.

He grinned, sheepishly. "Ever since I found out I've been reading up,"

Rachel bit back the unreasonable tears as he said. "So, vegetarian porridge it is."

"I suppose." Rachel sighed.

When she got out the shower was when she first heard it, only softly, wrapping her dressing gown around her she padded downstairs in her slippers and stopped, surprised when she saw that Jesse was sat at the grand piano in the middle of the living room. His eyes were closed and he looked completely engrossed as he played the soft classical music.

She listened, just as engrossed as him, as he played the complicated tune with no sheet music and barely opening his eyes. When the song finished, the last notes reverberating around the room, she started to clap slowly.

His eyes snapped open as he turned to look at her, his eyes widening.

"How long have you been there?" He asked.

"About five minutes," She walked towards him, raising an eyebrow. "I didn't know you could play St James, you've been holding out on me." She accused, leaning gently against the side of the instrument.

"The moment never arose." He shrugged, grinning now. He slid along the stool, inviting her to sit and she did so, running her hands almost tenderly along the keys, caressing them.

"I envy you this," She commented and continued as he looked at her curiously. "Although I am talented in singing and dancing I never learnt to play an instrument."

He smiled at her, "Maybe I can teach you sometime?"

"Maybe ," She echoed, suddenly aware that she was sat in only a dressing gown. She clambered to her feet hurriedly, "I'm going to go change," She informed him.

"Okay," He nodded, instructing quickly. "Put a bathing suit or something under whatever you wear."

"Why?" She frowned.

He grinned impishly. "We're off to the beach, Berry."

The beach was, unsurprisingly, rather busy. It was sunny out and the holiday had begun a few days ago, so the beach was swarming with people who didn't want to be stuck inside.

Rachel and Jesse walked slowly through the sand, both carrying their shoes in their hands, enjoying the feeling of the sand between their toes and talking of inconsequential things.

"It's so warm here," Rachel glanced around, appreciatively. "Even though it's February."

"I know, it's strange but it's good too, you want an ice cream, I know an amazing parlour just a block across?" He glanced down at her.

She sighed, before admitting hesitantly. "I've actually never really eaten ice cream before." His mouth dropped open and she hurried to explain herself. "I mean, I'm… I _was_ vegan and apparently vegan ice cream isn't that great, so I couldn't really ever see the point. I mean, it's basically just frozen sugared milk right?"

"Oh my God," Jesse said, when he was finally able to speak. "You have not lived."

Grabbing her hand, he dragged her up the steps from the beach and through into the streets until they came to a tiny door. Pulling back the curtain of multicoloured beads he invited her in and she stepped in. A strange smell met her and she glanced around the small room. Most of it was taken up by a large ice cream counter full of millions of different flavours, but there were a few tables slung around the room. The walls were covered in pictures of a family of people in all different places. There were random objects, like feathered fan and a sombrero pinned on the wall between them and shelves covered in a mishmash of ornaments.

"Wow…" She breathed, staring around the room.

"I know," Jesse sounded slightly smug. "They make all their own ice cream too."

"Really?" Rachel took a step towards the counter and Jesse followed her, grinning as he watched her eyes widen at the sheer magnitude of flavours.

"What do you want?" Jesse asked.

She floundered for a minute before asking, weakly. "What're you having?"

He laughed, turning to the rather large woman and saying. "One bowl stracciatella and one bowl of vanilla thanks Helena, twice thank you."

"Of course Jesse," The woman answered with a pronounced Mexican accent. "Who's your friend?"

Jesse grinned, putting his arm around her. "This is Rachel, she's tying ice cream for the first time."

"_Bondad!_" Helena almost dropped her scoop as she stared at Rachel.

"I know," Jesse laughed. "So I thought I'd bring her here."

She eyes the pair carefully. "And, Jesse, she is your _novia_ no?"

"Oh, no!" Jesse cried, laughing a little and pulling Rachel closer to his side. "We're just friend Helena."

"Ah, sorry." She handed him the ice creams in two little cardboard tubs with plastic spoons dug into them. "Here you are."

"Thank you," He pushed a note across the counter, stopping Rachel as she went to dig out some money. "This is my holiday, so it's my treat."

She rolled her eyes. "What a pathetic excuse." But her purse slid back into her bag anyway.

He handed her the ice cream, thanking Helena once more and promising that they would return, before pulling Rachel back out into the street. He smiled as he led her back onto the beach, turning to look down at her as she moaned in delight. She extracted the spoon from her mouth and Jesse realised she'd just taken her first bite.

"How is it?" He asked, but she didn't reply, shovelling the food into her mouth like it was the last coke in the desert.

He chuckled and began leading her down the beach again.

"That was so good." He looked down to see, with utmost surprise that her bowl was now completely empty.

"My God!" He spluttered, "That went down quickly!"

She looked defensive and cupped her stomach. "I'm eating for two over here!"

He smiled and handed over his own, half eaten tub.

"Jesse," she sighed, her defensive tone slipping away immediately. "You don't have to…"

"But I want to," He assured her quietly, pressing it firmly into her hands. "After all, we have to look after the next generation."

She laughed a little and took the ice cream, eating it quickly. By the time they'd reached the beach it was gone. Jesse took the empty tubs and dumped them in a trash can nearby and Rachel gave him another angelic smile. They walked slowly, hand in hand, talking quietly as the beach became emptier the farther they walked.

Soon there was only a pair of young women sunbathing and a older couple sat together, watching aa a young girl, who' sweet blonde bob bounced as she ran, made a sand castle. They watched as she ran back towards the sea and returned a few moments later with a handful of shells, which she began to stick on the pile of sand with a look of extreme concentration. Rachel and Jesse slowed as they walked to watch her. Once she had finished with the shells she stepped back and, in an amusingly adult action, surveyed her work with an expression of satisfaction.

They smiled as she turned to her parents and cried out. Her parent's expressions changed to a delighted beam as they saw her masterpiece. Immediately they began clapping loudly, smiling as the little girl, grinning a happy grin ran towards them and jumped into her mother's lap. The woman pulled her close, hugging her and saying.

"That's so good sweetheart!"

"Amazing!" Her father agreed, stroking his daughter's soft hair gently.

Their faces were glowing, all most overflowing with love as the father pulled the two girls into her arms and they hugged together, the little girl laughed and squirmed away.

She ran down the sand, blindly until she collided with Rachel.

"Oof," The sound was sweet, even though she fell back onto the sand.

"Are you okay sweetie?" Rachel crouched down beside the girl, unconsciously holding her stomach as she did so.

The little girl looked up at her and a beaming smile split over her face.

"Yes." She replied, with a slight lisp and Rachel pulled her slowly up, making sure that she really was okay as she said.

"Are you sure?" Jesse leaned down over Rachel to ask.

She looked up at hi, observing him for a minute before saying. "You're tall."

It was fortunate that Jesse and Rachel had had so much training, so they were able to quickly school their expressions into smiles.

"Yes," Jesse smiled. "Yes I am."

"You have curly hair." She sated again, staring up curiously.

"Yes," Jesse smiled, leaning down to crouch where Rachel had been. The girl reached out hesitantly to touch his hair and, to Rachel's complete shock, Jesse held still and allowed her to run a small palm through his curled locks.

"Millie," They all looked up to see the child's mother, a pretty woman in her thirties, smiling ruefully down at them.

"Mommy!" The little girl ran to her and the woman swept her up in her arms, balancing her carefully on her hip, before turning to them and saying, as Jesse stood up next to Rachel. "I'm sorry, she'd very inquisitive."

"It's fine," Jesse grinned, throwing an arm around Rachel's shoulder and pulling her closer.

"Okay," The woman smiled, before turning to her daughter. "Let's go Millie, say goodbye to the nice people."

"Bye!" Millie cried, waving at them over her mother's shoulder as they walked away.

Jesse chuckled a little, glancing down at Rachel when she didn't join in. To his surprise Rachel was staring at the retreating child, her eyes glazed with tears, one hand clutching her stomach.

"Ah, Rache." He pulled her closer, into a hug and rubbed her back gently as she began to cry softly. "It's okay, don't worry, it's going to be okay."

"Jesse!"

At first Jesse ignored the shout, presumed he imagined it.

But then it came again, louder this time,

"Jesse!"

"What the…?" He turned, keeping Rachel tightly under one arm. There was a girl before him and suddenly she was launching herself onto him, her long arms circling his neck. Rachel staggered back from under Jesse's arm from the impact.

"Jesse!" The girl cried. "I didn't know you were here!"

Jesse laughed, a slightly bewildered sound, "I only arrived yesterday."

He pulled away a little to look at her and for the first time Rachel got a good look at the girl. She was tall, almost taller than Jesse and towering over Rachel. Her legs, pale and silky, exposed in the tiny shorts she was wearing, seemed never ending and her hair was long and auburn, falling in pretty waves down to just above the flat skin of her stomach, which was easy to see because of the fact that she was only wearing a deep red bikini top. Her eyes sparkled, a bright green beneath the sunhat she wore.

"Lucy," He smiled at her, widely and she grinned back, "Where's… oh."

Rachel followed his gaze to behind Lucy where a slightly smaller girl with blonde, impeccably groomed hair stood.

"Amelia," He smiled, stepping around Lucy to give the girl two showbiz air kisses on each cheek and a gentle hug.

"Jesse, darling," Amelia greeted in return and Rachel started when she heard the strange English accent come from her pink lips. The stylish blue swimsuit she had on highlighted the blue flecks in her unusual grey eyes, and she had an expensive, sequined beach bag slung casually over one shoulder.

"Amelia and…"

He turned and Rachel did too, noticing the medium sized girl a few paces away from Amelia. Her dark skin was pulled taught of a slim body and her stomach, which basically curved in, was exposed by a revealing black bikini, making Rachel even more conscious than ever of the slight baby bump she had. Her hair was curly and wild, the same jet black colour as her bikini. Her hazel eyes flashed sharply towards Rachel, before going back to Jesse.

"Why hello Jesse," She smiled a little, not so nicely and Jesse went in for a swift hug, which he broke only a moment or two after beginning.

"Amber," He stepped back towards Rachel, in the pretence of observing all three girls at once, but his hand slipped back towards Rachel, pulling her towards him and under his arm once again.

"Jesse," Amelia was smiling. "We didn't know you were here, until Lucy spotted you," She cast a glance at the red head. "And started running," The distaste that she obviously felt towards that activity was obvious due to her tone.

Lucy only laughed gaily, flicking off the dark look she was being cast.

Jesse joined in, chuckling deeply. "And that isn't you're favourite activity is it Amelia?"

"Not particularly," She pulled the large sunglasses, which had been residing on her head, keeping the impeccable hair pulled back, over her eyes.

"How long have you been here?" Amber's voice was high and sickly sweet.

"Only a day," Jesse admitted, "We landed last night."

"We…?" Amber's eyes travelled to Rachel and Rachel knew immediately that she was being given the once over.

"It's rude to not introduce your friend Jesse," Lucy reprimanded, giving Rachel a sweet, sincere smile.

"Oh," He rolled his eyes, "I'm so sorry mother," He commented sarcastically, but went on to say. "Girls, this is Rachel, Rachel this is Lucy, Amelia and Amber, some friends of mine."

Rachel smiled tentatively, holding out her hand. "Rachel Barbra Berry."

Lucy ignored the hand and went in for a gentle hug, Amelia gave her a welcoming smile and Amber nodded in her direction, showing no sign of friendship.

"Barbra?" Amelia asked.

"As in Streisand," Rachel blushed as Jesse spoke.

"Oh, so I'm guessing you're like Jesse with the whole musical theatre thing." Lucy laughed, going on to say. "How did you two meet?"

Rachel glanced up at Jesse, panic stricken, but he lied smoothly.

"At a book store, she was looking at the Chicago screenplay and I knew I had to talk to her. It's not often you see someone of our age," He gestured to include them in his statement. "Reading screenplays in their Christmas holiday."

"So I was right?" Lucy smiled. "You _are _like him."

Rachel glanced up at Jesse, smiling at him before saying. "Definitely."

Amelia rolled her eyes, "I'm not surprised, he always goes for the ones like him."

Rachel blinked a little at that statement.

"How long are you here for?" Lucy asked, before Rachel could think anymore on the subject.

"About five days," Jesse answered, "I'm going to show Berry the sights."

"Well can you spare tonight?" Amelia asked, raising her eyebrows. "There's a _divine_ restaurant opening up on Twelfth Street and we were planning on going."

"We were going to hit a club afterwards," Amber added; an edge to her voice that Rachel hadn't heard before.

"Sounds great," Jesse smiled, "we're going to head back to Johnny's now, but if you tell me what time we'll meet you there."

"Matt and Anthony will be there too." Lucy added.

Jesse laughed loudly. "Fantastic, I was wondering where all the guys where, are they busy or did you just banish them?"

Amelia shrugged. "A bit of both."

"This is a girl's day!" Lucy grinned.

"Well, Berry and I'd better be going, we'll see you later?"

"Sounds good," Amber's voice held a hint of something, promise or threat, Rachel couldn't figure out which, when she said. "We'll see you later."

**Xxx**

**To make up for the kind of long wait, you have a rather large chapter :) **

**When will Jesse return? I'm getting major withdrawal symptoms :( **

**Ah well, we can hide ourselves away in our little world of fanfiction and block our ears against the real world. XD**

**Random fact: At the moment, I'm listening to Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love XD**

**I actually don't have much to say, just that the boards are quiet again and I miss the update I used to get so often. How sad. **

**I'm not in a very chatty mood today, so I just ask for eight or nine reviews before I update, thank you so much for my last reviews, they were wonderful! **

**Love, as always.**

**Ray**

**xxx**


	12. Chapter 11

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**Songs in this chapter: Smile by Uncle Kracker, I'm Only Me When I'm With You by Taylor Swift.**

**Had a few problems uploading files to Document Manager recently... anyone had this problem? Just me?**

**xxx**

Jesse played a few tinkling tunes, allowing his hands to snake up and down the keyboard idly. He wasn't actually playing anything; he was just messing around, keeping himself entertained whilst he waited for Rachel to be ready. He didn't know what was keeping her, but he decided not to go and ask. He had done it once before, when they went to the theatre. He had been waiting for a quarter of an hour and had slipped up stairs, poking his head cautiously around the door and, upon seeing she was fully dressed, asking.

"Is there some crisis going on?"

"No," Rachel hadn't looked away from her mirror as she spoke. "Why?" She threw down the lipstick she'd been holding and hurried across the room towards her wardrobe, staring down into it with a conflicted expression.

"I was just thinking that you must have flushed yourself down the toilet or drowned in the shower, you seem to have been getting ready for the better half of an hour."

She had cast him the most frightening glare he had ever received in his life and spat, fuelled by what he now recognised as baby hormones. "I'm coming okay? We can't all just get up and look fantastic!"

"Okay," He raised his eyebrows a little. "Chill Berry, I was only joking, I didn't know you were so ruffled."

She turned to glare at him and, using his initiative, he backed quickly from the room, narrowly missing a flying cushion.

He chuckled at the memory and placed both hands on the keys, launching into a more complicated tune, savouring the feeling of the ivory beneath his fingers. He had been playing ever since he was young and couldn't ever remember a time when he hadn't been able to play the piano. Since he joined Carmel he had found it hard to find time to practice, all the free time he had was taken up by Ms Corcoran- pushing the group. Since transferring to McKinley things had become suddenly easier and during the few times he wasn't at Rachel's he had gone home to the town house and played his baby grand. At first he had been worried, it had been so long since he'd played- but it had been just like riding a bicycle.

Now, as he drew the song to an end, he paused to listen as the last notes reverberated through the house. The whole place had such good acoustics and Johnny swore he didn't have it built for that. Jesse didn't believe him. They only had a piano because Lauren played, although not as well as him. Whenever he came they would make him sit down and play for them- giving little mini concerts, which he pretended to hate, but secretly loved.

Coming here was always the best part of his year. He would come every holiday and they would be here, Lauren practically _dancing_ through the house and Johnny singing all the time. If he knew what having a family was like, he would compare it to that.

"Beautiful." He started, looking up to see Rachel stood a few steps up the staircase, watching him. She descended the last few paces as he got up and approached her, taking in her appearance with appreciation. She was wearing the little black dress that she had been wearing on her first date with Finn, except this time, instead of dressing it up, she had dressed it down with a white lacy cardigan and some little white pumps. She tucked her hair back behind her ear and looked at him with a nervous expression.

She was so adorable, it shouldn't have been _legal_.

"Do I look okay?" She asked, anxiously.

"You look gorgeous." He replied, trying to stagger the passion in his voice.

She smiled widely in response and appraised him before saying. "You look really good too, very handsome."

Jesse pulled down on the corner off his grey jacket whilst answering. "A star is always well presented, I figure that it's good practice to always make sure you're well turned out before leaving the house, so the paparazzi don't catch anything."

"Good idea." She agreed, smoothing down her hair and saying. "Are we good to go?"

"Not quite," He frowned, reaching behind her and grabbing her black coat.

She took it in her hands as he passed it to her, frowning slightly. "Why would I need this Jesse? It's quite warm out."

"Yeah, but you're looking after two people there," He nodded to her stomach.

She opened her mouth to respond, but recognising the resolve in his eyes, snapped it shut again and settled with rolling her eyes as he forced her into the coat.

**xxx**

The restaurant was nice, not that crowded, but not so empty that you felt self conscious. When they arrived at the door, Rachel found that a polite man in a tux took her coat, hanging it up and a woman in a smart blouse and skirt combo led them to the table they were looking for.

The three girls they had met earlier were sat at a booth, laughing at some unknown joke. They all looked, to Rachel at least, stunningly beautiful and she wondered if everyone in California was beautiful.

"Hey ladies," Jesse was as charming as ever as he fixed them all with one of his widest, most dazzling smiles. "Where are the lads, I was hoping for some guy time."

"_Stud_." Rachel muttered automatically and then flushed as Jesse laughed loudly.

"They're just at the bar, grabbing us girls some drinks," Lucy answered, smiling. "Here they are now,"

Rachel followed Jesse's gaze to see two men walking slowly, balancing many wine glasses in their hands.

One was, obviously, gay. His hair was highlighted with blonde and swept back into a perfect side coif, a lot like Kurt's and he was wearing a V- necked white cotton shirt, tight jeans and a purple, cashmere cardigan.

The other was taller and muscular, wearing a light coloured shirt and deep blue jeans, gave her a friendly smile, his blue eyes sparkling. His dark hair was short and stylishly ruffled, like Jesse's.

"Matt, Anthony," Jesse moved forward towards them, smiling.

The pair returned his smile, dropping off their drinks at the table before turning back to greet him.

"Jesse," The dark haired guy stepped up to him and they smacked hands in a manly way, before coming in for a hug that made Rachel snigger. There was a whole lot of back patting.

"Matt," Jesse answered, stepping back. "It's been a while."

"Months more like," Matt raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were just a figment of the girl's imagination."

Jesse chuckled, "Unfortunately not."

"Damn," Matt teased, laughing.

"Ahem," Jesse turned to greet the other boy, who Rachel assumed was Anthony. He grinned at him and Anthony appraised his clothing for a moment, looking him up and down before shrugging.

"Do I pass your test?" Jesse asked, grinning madly.

"Yes," Anthony smiled, hugging him. "You're style, although not up to date and fashionable like me, is undeniably, a timeless classic."

Jesse just laughed, stepping away and drawing Rachel closer to him, like he'd done that morning. "This is my friend Rachel."

"Ah," Matt smiled a twinkling smile down at her. "Lucy said you had a pretty girl with you, now I know she isn't lying, at least on some counts… you are beautiful." He took her hand, kissing it in a manner that made Rachel blush.

"And you are full of it." Lucy commented from beside them.

Rachel heard Amelia chuckle. "I think I know who's not getting any tonight."

Matt smirked and slid into the seat next to Lucy, nuzzling into her shoulder, kissing her neck. "Ah, come on baby, you _know_ you're beautiful."

Lucy laughed. "Always such a charmer Matthew, does it ever stop?"

"Never," He promised.

Rachel laughed tentatively along with the rest of them and then turned back towards Anthony.

The boy looked her up and down, as he had done with Jesse. Then he sighed. "Well you're just the same," He seemed exasperated with all of them. "Timeless classic." He shook his head, rolling his eyes. "But he's right, you're pretty."

"Thank you," Rachel laughed.

"Any time," He quipped back, smiling.

They shuffled around, climbing in to sit down beside each other and Rachel was unsurprised when she ended up between Lucy and Jesse.

She glanced nervously at the redhead, worried that she would be angry at the way Matt, who was obviously her boyfriend, had talked to her, but Lucy just smiled. She seemed to be continually happy.

"What do you want to drink?" Jesse asked Rachel, "I'll go grab us something."

"I'll come," Amber put in quickly, sending Rachel a strange look that made her shiver slightly.

"No!" Lucy cried, reaching over Rachel to cling to Jesse. "You're not allowed to go anywhere, not now that we've got you."

"Maybe Rachel could go?" Amber suggested, her hard eyes flashing from Rachel's face to Jesse's.

"No," Jesse's voice was firmer than she expected and Rachel glanced up, surprised, to see him giving her a look that obviously meant he wasn't about to let her do that. She rolled her eyes; ever since he had found out that she was pregnant he was being extremely over protective. It would have been annoying if it wasn't so sweet.

"Well, it's okay," Amelia put in, obviously breaking the tense silence that came with Jesse's sudden outburst. "Look, there's a waiter over there, flag him Jesse."

Rachel watched in amazement as Jesse casually raised his hand and snapped his fingers twice. She tried to suppress her giggle, leaning into Jesse's shoulder. He automatically moved his arm to place it around her and a giggle escaped her.

"What is it?" He murmured to her, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

"I've never seen anyone do that in real life before," She explained in a whisper, grinning at him and giggling slightly again.

He laughed, a deep throaty chuckle and his hot breath feathered out over the sensitive skin of her neck, drawing goose bumps to the surface. She glanced up and him and was lost in the never ending, green plains of his eyes. Suddenly everything was very private, just them in their own little bubble and she shivered a little as the sparks ran through her, like her nerves were alight with flames.

"Can I take your order?"

Rachel jumped as the voice cut through them and glanced up, flustered, to see the waiter, dressed in another smart tux, watching them expectantly. Jesse turned easily away, still keeping his arm around Rachel in a gesture that was casual, not as intimate as she had originally thought. He was so calm and collected that Rachel wondered is she had just imagined their conversation.

"I'll have a Diet Coke thanks,"

"Very good," The waiter turned to Rachel and she managed to collect herself long enough to answer that she would like an orange juice.

"Excellent madam, can I get anyone anything else?" He looked around them.

"Not yet," Jesse answered, "come back in a few minutes and we'll know what we want thank you." He gave the man a dismissive smile that made Rachel grin.

This guy was definite star material.

"So," Jesse turned back to them as Amelia spoke. "You two met in a music shop? Should I really be surprised?"

"No," Jesse laughed.

Amelia rolled her eyes, "So you're like him then?"

Rachel nodded, grinning, "If you mean I'm into musical theatre then yeah."

Amelia chuckled and Rachel asked, "So do you guys… what, go to school or… I mean…?" She tired to get the words out without sounding rude.

Lucy laughed, "I'm the only one who's still in High School, apart from Jesse of course. I'm a month or so younger than him, but…" She trailed off and glanced at Matt, who nodded slightly. "See, I'm a painter,"

"Yeah and a damn good one at that," Amelia put in.

Lucy cast her a grateful smile, before continuing. "My mom didn't want me to be a painter; she wanted me to study law, like her. I refused and she basically kicked me out. So I went to live with Matt, which is where I've been ever since." She placed a hand on his cheek, cupping it and drawing him down to kiss her softly.

Matt broke away to say to Rachel. "I'm a set designer."

"Really?" Her eyebrows shot up.

He opened his mouth to answer, but Anthony cut in, "Sorry Matt, but I can see that that waiter over there is giving us a look that means he'll be over here any second, we'd better be ready to order or he might spontaneously combust because we've put off all their timings."

Rachel laughed with everyone else and picked up her menu, flipping through the thick paper pages, her eyes widening as she did. Her cheeks flushing with embarrassment she lifted her menu to shield her from the rest of the restaurant, glad for the gentle chatter of the restaurant as she whispered to Jesse.

"Jesse?"

"Yeah," He murmured back, looking up from his own menu.

"I…" She glanced away, anxious. "I don't think I can eat here."

"Why not?" He frowned, concerned.

"It's too expensive," She whispered, trying to suppress the humiliation bubbling within her.

He rolled his eyes, the tense set of his face relaxing. "My holiday remember?"

"You've already used that one," She complained, teasingly. "You can't use it again."

"Watch me," He sniggered, tapping her menu. "Choose something quickly or that waiter will come and snap at you and I'll have to hit him."

"_Have _to?" She raised an eyebrow.

"On principle." He explained, laughing and turning back to his menu.

**xxx**

The conversation had lulled whilst they ate one of the best meals Rachel had had in a long time.

"So," She looked around, "what do you guys do if you're not in school?"

"Well, Amelia is a, ahem, 'pop star'," Jesse tried to disguise his laughter behind a cough and Amelia glared at him.

"Popular Recording Artist," She corrected and turned to Rachel. "Heard of Amy Millar?"

Rachel's eyes widened and she nodded.

"That's my stage name." Amelia explained.

"So you're in that band," Her brows creased together as she snapped her fingers, trying desperately to remember the name.

"Ultraviolet?" Amelia helped her out, smiling. "Yeah that was me, we split up a little while ago though and I proud myself on going solo now."

"She's actually quite good, you know, _sometimes_." Matt shrugged and Amelia's mouth snapped open in indignation as she grabbed her napkin, which was screwed up into a ball and threw it at him over the table.

"Anthony is trying to brake into the fashion area." Jesse said between laughs.

"_Trying_ being the operative word." Anthony rolled his eyes.

"You'll get there sweetie," Lucy leaned over to rub his shoulder.

"And Amber is a dancer." Rachel nodded, smiling hopefully at the girl.

"Yeah, but don't worry about it, not everyone's as flexible as me." Amber's comment was so obviously a dig that Rachel almost flinched.

Jesse's eyes tightened at the corners slightly. "Actually, Rachel's been dancing since she was six."

Amber only raised her eyebrows.

"Shall we get the bill and go?" Amelia asked.

"Yeah," Matt agreed.

"I know this amazing bar we can go to, grab some drinks and catch up." Lucy asked.

Rachel cast an uneasy glance at Jesse, who nodded reassuringly. "Sure we're in."

"Great," Amber smiled and Amelia flagged the waiter again. They all shoved their money onto the table, paying and gathered their coats and things, starting down the road.

Lucy led them up a few blocks until they came to a small pub called Mark's Pub. Entering behind Jesse Rachel beamed when she saw that tonight was obviously karaoke night. They settled themselves around a small table and ordered their drinks.

"Karaoke Jesse," Lucy grinned at some unknown joke and Jesse laughed. "You going up?"

"Maybe," He glanced down at Rachel. "If my partner will join me?"

"You go up first," She reasoned. "Test out the acoustics for me and then you won't be able to keep me away."

"That a promise Berry?"

"Take it as a threat if you want St James."

Jesse grinned and clambered up, heading towards the stage. They waited as he picked a song and Lucy turned to Rachel saying, "you know he has an incredible memory for lyrics right?"

"I realised," She smiled. "He can listen to it once and remember it for years right?"

"Yeah," Lucy grinned conspiratorially, whispering. "It's weird."

"This is for you Berry," Jesse's voice echoed through the microphone and Rachel smiled, turning to see him smiling back.

The music started and he swayed slightly on the stool he had commandeered, still smiling.

"_You're better than the best,_

_I'm lucky just the linger in your life,_

_Cooler than the flip side of my pillow that's right_."

He was still beaming, looking straight at her as he sang, his voice rising passionately as he launched into the chorus.

"_You make me smile like the sun  
Fall out of bed  
Sing like a bird  
Dizzy in my head  
Spin like a record  
Crazy on a Sunday night  
You make me dance like a fool  
Forget how to breathe  
Shine like gold  
Buzz like a bee  
Just the thought of you can drive me wild  
Ohh you make me smile."_

The song finally trailed off, but as he sang, Jesse never took his eyes away from Rachel.

There was a moment of silence, as there almost always was after Jesse sang, before the small bar launched into applause. Jesse cast a self satisfied smirk their way, nodding towards them and moving smoothly from the stage, back to his seat.

He slung an arm around Rachel, grinning at her before turning back to the stage, where a shaky girl who could barely stand up was performing a dire rendition of a Lady GaGa song.

"Show off," She muttered to him, leaning into the soft felt of his jacket.

"You love it," He teased.

"Doesn't take away from the fact you were showing off," She reminded him, laughing softly.

"Your turn," He raised his eyebrows and she opened her mouth to take up his unspoken challenge, when Amber cut in.

"So Jesse,"

Jesse turned reluctantly away from Rachel, fixing his intense on Amber, who smiled sweetly, oblivious to the annoyance she'd just cause him.

"How's it going at Carmel?"

Jesse blinked, obviously surprised at her question and everyone turned to see his answer.

"I actually don't go to Carmel anymore."

Their mouths seemed to drop simultaneously and Lucy asked, her voice more a squeak.

"What did you do?"

Jesse looked affronted, replying tartly. "Nothing! I transferred to McKinley."

"McKinley," Anthony's eyebrows creased together, forming neat wrinkles on his forehead as he wracked his brains. "You've mentioned that before right?"

"Yeah, isn't it the one with the awful Glee club?" Amber's eyes sliced through Rachel as she held back her cringe.

"Are you calling me awful Amber?" Jesse asked, smoothly, "I'm in that Glee club."

"Really?" Amber glanced at him, her eyebrows shooting up. "But still, they don't have Giselle do they, so you can't have a female vocalist to match you."

Jesse cringed at the mention of Vocal Adrenaline's female soloist. Giselle was a dark haired girl who thought that she was the most attractive woman to ever walk the earth. Which was like saying that _The Phantom_ wasn't that popular. Completely false. She also had an ego that matched his, although she was undeserving and he wasn't. And for some bizarre reason Amber thought she was the best thing since sliced bread.

"You are a very strong singer Jesse," Amelia agreed, sipping her drink.

"Actually," Jesse's arm tightened around her shoulder and Rachel noticed the creases appearing around his eyes that meant he was getting mad. "Rachel's in the Glee club with me."

As much as she didn't want him to fall out with his friends, Rachel felt a strange flutter of pleasure at the way he leapt to her defence.

"But still," Amber's eyebrows rose and Rachel felt her patience snap when Amber cast her a patronising glance.

Pushing herself from her chair, she passed Jesse, shaking off his hand when he reached out for her wrist, trying to stop her.

She walked up to the stage as the trembling girl finally passed out, be it from nerves or the drink, she wasn't sure, and her friends carted her off. Murmuring her song choice to the attendant she made her way up to the microphone, looking out and finding Jesse easily in the crowd. Fixing him with a solid stare she smiled and he returned her smile, giving a slight nod of encouragement as the first few bars of the song started and Rachel opened her mouth to sing.

"_Friday night beneath the stars,  
in a field behind your yard,  
you and I are paintin' pictures in the sky._"

She didn't normally like country music, but Taylor Swift was one of the only decent country artists out there in her opinion. She managed to keep some of the pop culture at least.

"_And sometimes we don't say a thing;  
just listen to the crickets sing.  
Everything I need is right here by my side."_

She wasn't quite sure why she'd chosen this song, it just… spoke to her. She had only bought the album on a whim, it had been discounted and she had grabbed it so she could spend her change. However she found it quite good, some mindless music as she and her dads liked to call it, something you can just listen to and let it wash over you.

"_And I know everything about you  
I don't wanna live without you."  
_

Her voice rose as she launched into the chorus, her smile becoming joyful, her eyes sparkling with happiness as she sang.

_"I'm only up when you're not down.  
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.  
It's like no matter what I do.  
Well you drive me crazy half the time;  
the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.  
And I'm only me when I'm with you."_

He was smiling widely now, his eyes crinkling at the sides in the way they did when he was happy.

"_Just a small town boy and girl  
livin' in a crazy world.  
Tryin' to figure out what is and isn't true."_

She laughed, smiling straight at him, her stomach doing the strange back flips she normally associated with Finn as she sang to him.

"_And you know everything about me.  
You say that you can't live without me."_

She almost stopped when he stood and joined in with a sweet harmony that weaved with her voice perfectly. He walked forward and people turned to watch as he made his way towards the stage, never taking his eyes off her.

It was like a movie or something.

"_I'm only up when you're not down.  
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.  
It's like no matter what I do."_

He walked towards her, holding his hand out and she met it with hers as they continued to sing and he spun her into him.

"_Well you drive me crazy half the time;  
the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.  
And I'm only me when I'm with you."_

She pulled away from where she was leaning against his chest, still holding his hands as she turned to him and sang.

"_When I'm with anybody else it's so hard to be myself.  
Only you can tell."_

He laughed, joining her as they sang the final chorus together.

"_That I'm only up when you're not down.  
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.  
It's like no matter what I do.  
Well you drive me crazy half the time;  
the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true."  
_

She smiled and turned to him so that he was looking down at her and she had her stomach pressed into his chest._ "And I'm only me_

"_Who I wanna be," _He sang back, his eyes twinkling._  
_

They took a deep breath together and sang finally, trying to suppress the joyful laughter that threatened to over take them.

"_Well, I'm only me when I'm with you  
With you."_

The silence seemed to stretch on and as the last few notes rang clear the pair stared at each other, neither willing to let go of the hold they had on the other for a moment. A strange tension crackled in the air and Rachel's breath hitched as Jesse leaned slightly forward, she copied his actions and felt the sparks tingle in her chest as they reached slowly towards each other.

The applause was huge and Jesse turned away suddenly, smiling what Rachel recognised as his famous 'showface'.

He squeezed her and grinned down at her.

"Nicely done," He said, still grinning.

"You took over my solo," She accused breathlessly.

"Only a little," He smiled, then raised a questioning eyebrow. "Taylor Swift?"

"I don't know," She shrugged, looking away from him out into the cheering crowd.

And she vowed that one day, she would do this again. Stand on a stage in Jesse's arms, facing a cheering crowd. It would happen; she was sure of it.

Together they were unstoppable.

**Xxx**

**Ooo, another long chapter! Thanks for all the reviews guys. **

**Oh and have you heard…**

**APPARENTLY JESSE'S BACK IN THE SEVENTEENTH EPISODE. OMIGODOMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD!**

**Okay, that needed out of my system. **

**I'm done now. :)**

**You probably notice that I'm a fan of emoticons… I think they're dead cute. :)**

**At the moment I have just dug out my West Side Story soundtrack and I'm currently listening to the song that inspired the title of this story.**

**Shout out to all of my reviwers, you guys are the best and I love you so much. You actually make my day. YAY, we got past a hundred reviews! That's so amazing!**

**Thank you so much to: mari, Arnie-Rocks, TVHollywoodDiva, nanuvamp, northstar61, lynn, MissRe, twilight2892, Missbroadwayboundfanfic and MissD0rk3y**

**You guys all reviewed the last chapter so you officially have my love!**

**Wow… so now my spellchecker hates me. **

**Anyway, I recently planned a ton more of this story and I think I may have the fic planned out completely! It's pretty long by the way, at the moment I'm writing page 190, but you're getting about page 90 in this chapter, so there is much to come! Please stick with me or I will be upset. **

**At least nine reviews please!**

**Thanks you and love as always.**

**Ray**

**xxx**


	13. Chapter 12

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

When Jesse and Rachel arrived back from California almost everyone recognised the change in them. They were closer, if that was possible, that they had been when they left. Rachel's once pale cheeks were rosy and both had a strange, impenetrable aura of happiness radiating from them.

It was odd to see them apart.

However, all was not that great in Rachel's life. She had been glad to get away from the bustle of normal school life, but now she was back there was the obstacle of telling her dads about her un-veganism whilst away and Jesse insisted that that meant she tell them about… the baby.

They couldn't be mad at her, he had reasoned with her, it was not her fault, she was completely blameless and anyway, that inside of her was the miracle of life. Then he'd placed his hand on her stomach and she'd felt these strange new tingles shoot through her.

Of course he was right, as always, even Rachel could see that. Which made it ridiculous that she was sat in his car outside her own home, too scared to go in.

He took her hand in his, enveloping them in a warm embrace.

"Berry?" He asked softly, breaking her reverie. "You okay?"

"Yeah," She blinked, nodding.

His thumb started to rub calming circles on her palm, leaving trails of sparks. "It's going to be okay," He soothed gently. "You know that right? They aren't going to be mad."

"How do you know that?" She whispered; her voice breaking.

He almost laughed and when he spoke she could hear the strained amusement in his voice. "Because I know everything, you know that." He laughed a little, but as his laughter trailed off his hand came up and pulled up her chin gently, forcing her to look at him. "Seriously," His breath fanned across her face, smelling of the spearmints she knew he loved. "It'll be okay."

She sighed, unconvinced and he pushed himself up from his seat, moving around to her side of the car and pulling open the door, holding out his hand for her. She groaned and reached over, grabbing her bag and keys before reluctantly placing her hand in his once more, flushing as his strong dancer's arms pulled her up and spun her out easily.

In any other case she would have giggled at the grandness of the gesture. It was so dramatic, so totally _Jesse. _But now, looking up at the house she had lived in all her life, her stomach curled up on itself. She wondered vaguely if she was going to throw up.

Jesse took her hand and led, although the better word with have been dragged, her up to door, Pushing her key in with trembling hands she unlocked the door and stepped in as quietly as she could.

"I don't think they're in." She whispered to Jesse. "Let's go…"

"Call out," Jesse coaxed.

Rachel's expression was torn, but she did as he said, calling, in a trembling voice. "Dad? Papa?"

"Rachel?" The call came immediately from upstairs and Rachel glanced up to see Herim come out from their shared office.

"Papa," Her voice almost broke again as she willed herself to be strong. "I need to talk to you and dad, is he in?"

"Yes, I'm here," Leroy appeared beside Herim, frowning slightly. "What's wrong poppet?"

"Can you," Her voice really did break this time and she had to swallow and start again. "Can you come down here? I need to talk to you."

"Okay," Leroy followed his husband downstairs.

Rachel walked to the living room, sitting heavily on the sofa, Jesse sitting beside her and squeezing her hand softly. She glanced up at him and he must have seen the terror in her eyes, because he cast her a soft, sweet smile.

Rachel turned to watch her dads come in, Leroy taking the armchair and Herim perching on the arm beside him.

"What's wrong baby?" Herim frowned, obviously concerned and she cringed at the thought of how his expression would twist when she finally got her words out.

"I… need to tell you… something." She trembled out and Jesse pulled her closer, his arm around her shoulders.

"What is it?" Leroy's voice was wary, almost hard.

"I think… I _know_… I'm…" She broke off into a gasp, the fear clouding her every thought.

There was a long silence and finally, with what seemed a Herculean effort she finally managed to splutter out.

"I'm pregnant."

There was a silence which seemed to never end.

"What?" Leroy finally whispered.

"Is it…" Herim's eyes were wide as they flicked to Jesse.

"_No!"_ Rachel cried, "no, it's from… you know, Christmas."

"What?" Leroy's whisper was more appalled this time and Rachel turned to look at her dads' face, unnerved to see that he seemed to be creating a new colour of purple.

"They did a test…" Herim murmured.

"Those things are only like, 99 percent accurate papa." Rachel muttered, her hand falling automatically to the bump in her stomach.

He dads' eyes followed it and, whilst Herim's softened, Leroy's widened in dismay and he pushed himself up, storming from the room upstairs to their bedroom.

"Daddy!" Rachel cried, tears spilling from her eyes and flowing down her cheeks as she pushed herself from her seat and started after her father.

"Sweetie," Herim caught her hand and pulled her into him as she started to sob louder her shoulders shaking angrily. He pulled her down onto the sofa, still buried in his chest.

"I didn't… I couldn't…" She tried to speak between her tears, spluttering, unable to finish a sentence.

"It's okay honey," Herim stroked her hair softly, soothing her gently.

"I'm thirsty," She wept, between her tears and he pushed himself up quickly, in and out of the kitchen in less than a minute, returning with a glass of water. She drank in quickly, between her tears and when the glass was finished her tears had subsided a bit. She handed the empty glass back to Herim who placed it on the floor beside him and then turned to cup her cheek gently.

"How are you feeling about this sweetie?"

Rachel shrugged a little, answering. "I don't know. I don't hate the baby, I couldn't, you know, have a… you know." She looked down at her stomach, her tears drying on her cheek. "It's just so unrealistic, this isn't the type of thing that happens to me for goodness sake!"

"It's fine poppet," He hesitated, "are you going for… adoption?"

She shrugged, "I don't know, probably."

"Okay honey," He glanced down, "Do you know the… you know… the sex or anything?"

"No," She shook her head. "You don't have a scan until the tenth or twelfth week," She glanced up at him uneasily. "I'll be going soon… do you want to…?"

Herim's eyes filled with tears and he nodded, pulling her closer and stifling his tears as she began to cry softly too.

"Of course sweetie, I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"What about… daddy?" She glanced up the way her father had gone, new tears filling her eyes.

"He just needs a while to digest this," Herim reassured, "Don't worry, it'll be fine."

She looked up at him and smiled through her tears, sniffing. "Thank you papa."

That night he tucked her into bed, like she was five years old again or something. Kissing her forehead softly he whispered,

"Sleep well darling,"

"You too papa." She replied, smiling up at him.

He perched on the edge of her bed, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Jesse knew about this?"

"Only formally for about three weeks," She shrugged. "He suspected longer."

"He's sticking by you?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yeah," She yawned, rolling over and letting her eyes slip closed.

"He's very subtle, he left without us even noticing."

He kissed her cheek and stroked her hair once more, before getting up, the bed shifting as his weight was removed.

"Stick with that one," He whispered. "He's a good one."

It took her a moment to work out what he meant and when she did she turned, leaning up on her elbow and frowning. "No we're not…" He was gone. "Dating." She finished lamely and sighed, turning to lie back on her side and trying to push away the sadness that statement conjured up within her.

When Rachel awoke in the morning she was unsurprised to find that Leroy had already gone. Her papa insisted that he wasn't mad and he had just had to go to a meeting that morning.

After filling her with her first ever scrambled eggs, which she rather enjoyed, Herim shooed her from the house and she smiled when she saw that Jesse was waiting outside for her.

"Hey," She said, still smiling, as she climbed into his car.

"Hi," He responded smoothly. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good," Rachel replied and cast him a quick glance as he started to drive. "You were very subtle last night, when did you leave?"

"After you'd finished the water." Jesse answered and flashed her a grin. "What is that by the way?"

"Oh," Rachel glanced away, oddly embarrassed, "Just a stupid thing from when I was a kid. My dads would give me water whenever I was upset and it started to get that sometimes I couldn't work out if I was sad or just… thirsty."

Jesse laughed; a deep chuckle that made her tingle. "Interesting," There was a long silence as they drove until Jesse said, softly. "How did it go?"

Rachel sighed and shrugged as she spoke. "I don't know, it was okay, papa took it well, but dad…" She trailed off.

Jesse parked the car in the quickly filling parking lot and placed an arm around Rachel. "He'll come around," He murmured, reassuringly.

"I hope you," Rachel shook her head a little and clambered from the car.

"It could be worse," Jesse comforted, climbing out to join her. "I knew a girl who got kicked out because she was pregnant."

Rachel's stomach plummeted as he spoke, her eyes widening. She had never thought of her fathers kicking her out, it had just never occurred to her, Now that he said it, however, she could feel herself spiralling into panic as the possibility seemed to loom in front of her.

Jesse took in her horrified expression and interpreted it correctly, almost instantly. "It won't happen."

He was so firm, so sure, that Rachel almost believed him.

Almost.

"What will I do if they do though?" Her over dramatic personality surfaced when faced with this crisis. "I'll be homeless Jesse, living on the streets. I'll look like an extra from _Oliver_!"

"No you won't," He pulled her close to him and forced her to look at him, locking his gaze with hers. "Because it isn't going to happen and even if it did, I would look after you."

"You would?" Her wide eyes stared at him, trying to ferret out any deceit in his eyes. She found none.

The ringing of a bell started a general movement of the students milling about towards the various doors into the school.

"Of course," He answered, pulling her towards the building and hoping that she wouldn't worry any more than she already was.

She sighed a little and followed him into the hallways that were filled with students, all unwilling to leave their social lives and head to class. Stopping by her locker to collect some books she turned to smile at him, her spirits apparently lifted again.

"Are we going to perform at Glee club?" Her nonchalance was easily transparent and Jesse could see the excitement that bubbled within her. It was perfectly justified. They had been working on this song every evening that they were at home, when they were in California. Both were perfectionists, so they had been over it about 20 times. Not that that was a bad thing.

Jesse grinned. "I hope so, you aren't going to bail on me are you?"

Rachel laughed and shook her head, pushing her locker shut and turning to go towards her first class.

He pulled her into a quick hug before she left. "Don't forget our engagement at lunch." He instructed, his breath tickling her neck. Slowly he reached his hand forwards and gently grazed her cheek.

She shivered as strange tingles shot through her and her widened eyes shot up to meet his own. Then he was gone, turning and walking away so quickly that it was almost all one movement.

Rachel watched as he turned the corner and gazed at the empty space he had been standing in for a moment before shaking her head quickly, trying to dispel her stupor. Clutching her books a little closer she made her way through the hallways towards her own class, determined to forget what had just happened.

Jesse couldn't believe he'd been such an idiot. It wasn't like he _meant_ to touch her cheek like that, it had just… happened. And those oh-so-familiar sparks had shot through him, making his heart race and his cheeks flush. She had looked at him, her deep chocolate eyes questioning and unsure and… _something else_.

The sparks had increased, pumping through him like the blood in his veins.

Then it hit him.

He loved Rachel.

Any other teenage boy would have cringed from the word, allowing it to haunt them only in their worst nightmares. But Jesse, being a dramatic- like Rachel- believed strongly in the emotion. If nothing else they created fantastic chemistry during singing.

There was no way he could say anything to anyone, especially not her. Maybe Johnny- but no one else. He was too ashamed to say anything.

She was his _best friend_ after all.

His _pregnant_ best friend.

He had already been through this- he was sure. He had managed to convince himself that it was better to just ignore the feeling that seemed to power his every movement.

But it was getting harder.

It wasn't just that they were always with each other- which they were. She had started to plague his every thought, his every motion. She was his reason for getting up in the morning and he had started to notice tiny things about her- like the way she always smelt of strawberries after she had a shower and that she always had one piece of hair that would fall in front her face.

It was getting slightly weird- even he thought so.

She seemed to be less oblivious though- which gave him hope. If the stars aligned correctly she might even figure it out for herself.

But until that moment, Jesse decided, he would do everything he could to encourage her in the right direction- whilst keeping it subtle.

**Xxx**

**And that would be all for now folks. **

**The new Glee episode was amazing by the way, thought I'd just tell you all that. :)**

**I loved it, it was incredible, thank God that maybe Rachel isn't infatuated with Finn anymore. And the Klaine kiss! Yay!**

**Anyway, really not so much to say today. Thank you all so much for the reviews, they were amazing!**

**Thank you to: ****MissMandyPandy****, ****TVHollywoodDiva****, tmd092, MissRe, northstar61, twilight2892, ****Reiha No Arashi****, cindy jane, Missbroadwayboundfanfic, brikaspoms, lynn, nanuvamp, Mrs (love it btw, you may have to fight for that honour though!) and Colviper8****. You guys make my day!**

**Okay, I'm looking for 9-10 reviews please guys!**

**Love you all lots**

**Ray**

**xxx**


	14. Chapter 13

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

He found her in the choir room.

Everyone else would be in the cafeteria, grabbing some food before coming to the choir room. Rachel normally joined them, Jesse had pressed into her how important it was to keep eating now. She was usually very good at eating at the correct times, she had once told him that it was practice for when she was a star- that way the press couldn't work up a story that she was anorexic.

However, this time she hadn't been there and he had immediately set out to find her.

She had been playing with the piano, tinkling her finger up and down the ivory keys, tapping out a sweet, chopstick type tune whilst humming gently to herself.

"Did I inspire you to learn to play?"

Her head shot up at the sound of his voice and she returned his smile, watching as he came to sit beside her on the piano stool.

"Always such a high opinion of yourself, St James." She laughed, scooting across to give him more room.

"I just see myself clearly," He shrugged, his eyes dancing with laughter. "What were you playing?"

She smiled and shrugged. "I Dreamed a Dream, it seemed appropriate."

"How so?" He frowned, curiously.

She shrugged, glancing away. "A guy came into our class to talk about dreams."

"Dreams as in aspirations or dreams as in nightmares?"

"The first," She looked thoughtful for a moment, staring off to a space a little to the left of Jesse, before seeming to snap out of it and collect herself. "Fortunately you and I both know ours."

He looked at her for a moment before shrugging. "I don't know…"

"What?" She turned to frown at him. "I thought you knew your dreams? Raoul in _The Phantom, _Melchoir in _Spring Awakening_, Fiyero in _Wicked_ and Roger in-"

"That's not what I meant," He interrupted. "You singing Don't Rain on My Parade in front of a sold out crowd isn't a dream it's an inevitability."

She smiled at him, reaching over the squeeze his hand gently.

"A dream is something that fills you up, the one thing that you know, if it came true, it would make all the hurt go away."

She frowned at him, "Why are you pushing this?"

"Because you're my… friend," He stumbled slightly over the word and put a gentle arm over her shoulder to cover his mistake. "I want to make your dreams come true."

She shrugged, awkwardly as his arm was still around her shoulders. "I don't know Jesse…"

She glanced away and he recognised the conflicted expression on her face. Cupping her chin he pulled her softly to face him.

"Hey," His voice was soft and gentle, almost caressing the words that he spoke. "You can always talk to me, you know that."

She looked at him for a long, tense moment. Both were completely silent.

"No, I really didn't mean it!" Mercedes voice cut through the silence and Rachel jerked away, looking up at the group of Glee clubbers coming through the door, continuing their conversations in loud voices. Jesse's hand slipped quickly away from her cheek and his arm, which had been tensed around her shoulders, became slack and casual.

Finn followed the group of laughing students, and glanced towards the pair of them on the piano bench. Rachel looked away, down at her knees and Jesse fixed Finn with a hard stare, giving him a curt nod of greeting.

Finn didn't return the greeting, looking away from them and walking stiffly away to his chair, where he threw himself into a conversation with Mike and Matt, determined not to look at them again.

Jesse gritted his teeth and forced a natural smile onto his face as Rachel glanced up at him, a smile growing on her face as she saw him. She may have fooled the rest of the world, but to Jesse it was as clear as if she'd had it tattooed on her forehead. Rachel may give out the pretence, and it was a very good pretence, that she was happy, but Jesse could see it in her expression, the worry and fear reflecting back at him.

That wasn't to say that she wasn't at all happy, only that she wasn't as happy as she seemed.

"Hey guys," Mr Shue moved swiftly into the room, and Jesse was snapped from his reverie. "Sorry I'm late; I had a meeting with Miss Pillsbury."

He turned to Rachel and Jesse, "I hear that you guys have something to show us, something you cooked up over the holiday?"

"Yes," Rachel beamed up at him.

"Excellent," He stepped towards the audience, taking a seat beside Finn, "Take it away,"

Rachel glanced at Jesse and then turned out to talk to the group.

"Well, over the holiday I was talking to Jesse and I was like 'there's this song, and every time I hear it I think of you and of us and our friendship.' So he was like, 'what's the song?' and I told him and he said 'oh! Every time I hear that song I think of _you_ and us…' So, this is our theme song…" She laughed a little and there was a ripple of unwilling laughter throughout the Glee Club. It wasn't often that Rachel Berry made jokes.

She turned and smiled at Jesse and he willingly started playing the sweet tune out on the piano. Slowly she waltzed around to the other side of the piano, leaning across the top to watch him as he sang and played, effortlessly.

"_Do you hear me, I'm talking to you  
Across the water across the deep blue ocean  
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying."_

Taking a deep breath she replied, a smile playing on her lips.

"_Boy I hear you in my dreams  
I feel your whisper across the sea  
I keep you with me in my heart  
You make it easier when life gets hard…"_

Together they turned and sang to each other, their voices merging into a harmony that rose through the choir room, almost drowning out the band as they began to play.

_"I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend  
Lucky to have been where I have been  
Lucky to be coming home again  
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh…"  
_

Turning she walked smoothly closer to him, skirting around the edge of the piano and allowing her hand to trail across its' smooth shining top as they sang together

_"They don't know how long it takes  
Waiting for a love like this…"  
_

Together they sang again, launching into the chorus as he pulled her down to sit beside him, swaying a little as he continued to play, glancing up at her every once in a while. She tried to ignore the way her heart was fluttering, a strange blush lighting her neck and cheeks as he looked at her with that unfamiliar intensity which seemed to follow him nowadays.

"_And so I'm sailing through the sea," _He turned, smiling as he sang._  
_

"_To an island where we'll meet," _She joined in as he stared at her, his hands still playing the now familiar chords.

_"You'll hear the music fill the air  
I'll put a flower in your hair," _Her breath caught in her throat as he gently pushed her hair behind her ear, her heart stumbling and then picking back up at a thrumming pace.

_"Though the breezes through trees  
Move so pretty you're all I see,"_

He suddenly pulled away from the piano stool, allowing the band to pick up his slack, which they did easily, and pulled her up, into the middle of the room, spinning her gently as he sang the next line.

_"As the world keeps spinning round  
You hold me right here right now,"_

He pulled her flush into his chest as they sang the final chorus, swaying a little and looking up at each other, Rachel's cheeks flushed and her eyes shining with genuine happiness.

As the song came to an end, Rachel was barely aware of the cheers coming from her classmates. Her whole being was focused on the heat she could feel radiating from the boy behind her and how it made her feel so weak that she was sure she would fall if he wasn't holding her so tightly.

The bell ringing pulled her from her thoughts and she sighed inwardly as Jesse pulled away.

"Well," He was turned away from her, grabbing his book bag and slinging it over his shoulder. "That went well; I've got to go Berry. I'll see you later."

With one smile flung in her general direction he took off out of the room, following his team mates with unusual haste, leaving a flushed and flustered girl behind him.

**xxx**

Now Jesse really did feel like banging his head against a wall. It didn't really matter which wall, any wall would do. Hopeful if he hit hard enough he could smack some sense into himself.

He had been afraid to look at her after they had finished singing, afraid that she would see the love reflecting in his eyes.

It was getting too hard. He had though, earlier that morning, that he could handle it, that he could keep himself under control, but he had been wrong, so catastrophically wrong that it hit him almost like a speeding truck.

The minute he had seen her he had felt the stirrings of something that he couldn't even call want any more. It was more like need, a need acute to the point of pain.

He didn't know how long he could go on with the friendship pretence.

He had no idea that, at that very moment, Rachel was sat in her history class thinking along the same lines.

**xxx**

Getting up in the mornings was no longer a chore to Jesse St James. During his time at Carmel High School he had pulled himself out of bed at the ridiculous time of 4: 30. Rehearsals for Vocal Adrenaline had started at 6:00 and if he had wanted to get out for a run and get to school on time it had been necessary that he heave his protesting body from the warm confines of his comforter.

Now it was a lot easier, McKinley started at 8:30 so he didn't need to get up until 6:30 at the latest. He still liked to get his runs in, around two miles every morning. Not that he didn't like New Directions, but their dance routines were hardly strenuous. Shelby had always pushed them hard and Jesse had watched kids faint from exhaustion before now.

He had started at Carmel at fifteen and even then he knew of the Glee clubs' infamous reputation. And Jesse St James wanted a piece of that. So he, along with ten other kids from his year, had auditioned. Only he and two others had made the cut.

Even as a freshman he had dominated the club, something that he felt no shame about, In his mind it was clear. He was a cut above these people and if they really wanted to make the grade they obviously had to either practice and rehearse harder or just give up.

After around two months of being in Vocal Adrenaline, Shelby had pulled him to one side and informed him that he was the new lead soloist. She knew that he was young but she had confidence in him. So she was giving him this spot so that he could prove himself and he'd better not mess it up, or she wouldn't hesitate to kick him out of Vocal Adrenaline for good.

That was Shelby all over.

She didn't believe in easing people into something. With Shelby, you were thrown into the deep end and you had to learn to go with the waters pretty quickly, or you'd drown.

Three months later and Jesse had led the club to success in their Regionals and Nationals.

Since then, his position at the top had been unshakeable.

Smiling at the thought of his Vocal Adrenaline days he pulled up beside Rachel's house, turning to see the girl herself leave the house. He knew that she had been worrying about how her father would react to the baby news when she saw him last night and he examined her expression careful to see if she'd been crying.

Fortunately she was smiling and as she looked up to grin at him and wave he felt the usual trembles running through him at the sight of her smile. Her lips were so plump that he could help imagining himself kissing them, pressing them against his own and pulling her close…

"Hey there St James," Her voice pulled him from his thoughts and he turned, fixing a smile on his face.

"Berry, come on in." She grinned and clambered into the car, sitting next to him and pulling out her lip balm, adding a thick layer and pouting in the mirror. He glanced away as the trembles ran through him again and asked, in a voice that he hoped was smooth.

"What's that?"

She raised an eyebrow, "You don't know what lip balm is?"

He shrugged, "Sort of."

She laughed a little and handed his the small tin container, still warm where she had been holding it.

"Cherry flavour?" He asked, cocking his head.

"Yes," She laughed again, taking the tin from his hands and tucking it back in her bag. "Drive St James."

He obediently started the engine as she muttered. "How you got anywhere with girls I'll never know."

He ignored the comment, deciding to come back to it later and asked instead. "How did things go with your dad?"

Her smile dropped slightly, but she answered. "It was okay, he's not exactly thrilled and he's annoyed that I didn't get a…. you know… get rid of it…. when I could. But I think he'll survive."

"That's good," Jesse nodded, taking her hand and squeezing it gently, regretting it immediately when the sparks shot through his arm.

There was a comfortable silence, filled by the slight hum of the engine before Rachel said, slowly.

"I was thinking about what you said yesterday."

Jesse frowned out at the road, confused. "What?"

"About dreams," she prompted him.

"Oh," He waited, anxiously, for her to say something and when she didn't asked, "And?"

"You were right," She confessed as they stopped in the school parking lot. "I think I know what my dream is."

"Really?" He turned in his seat, to look at her.

"Yes," She bit gently on her lower lip as she stared out of the window, almost as if she didn't want to look at him.

He waited quietly, sure that she would tell him when she was ready.

"I want to find my mom," She turned to him as she said it.

He was stunned into silence for a moment, before finally asking. "Your mom?"

"Yeah, my surrogate mother," She hurried to add. "I wouldn't need to meet her or anything, just to know her name… maybe see a picture of her."

"Don't your dads know?" He took her hand, more gently this time, ignoring the way the hair on the back of his neck rose when he touched her.

"Yeah, but I never asked them and I don't want to do it now. I don't want to hurt their feelings." She shrugged, looking awkwardly away.

"I'll help you find out," He promised her, "Don't worry, Jesse's got it." he laughed a little at his corny joke and she laughed softly too, glancing up at him, appreciation burning in her eyes.

"Thank you." She said softly, her voice reverent.

There was a moment of tense silence as the weight of her thankfulness hung in the air between them before he pushed open the door.

"Any time squirt." He grinned, and she stuck her tongue out at him, laughing.

And just like that, the awkwardness disappeared.

**Xxx**

**Well, I'm ill. Again. So I figure there's nothing better to do than write, even when I should really be studying. **

**I'm hoping you all know that song, after all, Glee did cover it, but just in case you don't it's called 'Lucky' and it was on Glee, that should be enough for y'all. **

**So here's my update, my brain isn't really functioning enough to write a working A.N. I promise I'll make up for it next time. **

**Thanks for the reviews! Thanks to: northstar61, Arnie-Rocks, Fritzicles, MissRe, MissD0rk3y, twilight2892, nanuvamp, Kkaty, Ali Amnesia, Lynn and MissMandyPandy! You guys make my day so much!**

**Nine to ten reviews would be great thank you! They would seriously make me feel better. **

**Also, quick note, I have lost my voice, sad times, and I have a singing exam on Monday, so here's hoping my voice will return by then :/ **

**Okayy, much love, as always!**

**Ray**

**xxx **


	15. Chapter 14

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

Jesse was planning on meeting Rachel in the hallway beside her locker, so it wasn't a surprise that he saw the events that unfolded. He hadn't thought anything of the fact that Rachel was stood beside her locker, looking out into the corridor, until Finn Hudson appeared, tall and clumsy, beside her.

He snuck closer, knowing that she would be annoyed if he interrupted, but needing to hear what was said. When he was close enough he snuck down a corridor a few paces away from Rachel's locker and peered around the corner, listening as Finn spoke.

"Hey so, Rache…" He rubbed his hand against the back of his head, looking slightly uncomfortable as he spoke.

"Yes Finn?" To Jesse's relief she didn't sound all too thrilled to have him talking to her.

"I was wondering, I mean, I know I was out of line, saying that stuff about you and Jesse, but I'm really sorry and, you know, I think we make a really good couple. So will you take me back?"

There was a long moment of silence and Jesse wondered if there was something going on he couldn't see.

Obviously not as Finn added hurriedly. "I'm really good at taking care of pregnant girls. I took care of Quinn when she was pregnant last year and I really want to…. you know…. Get back together with you."

"Why?" Rachel asked finally, her voice quiet. "Why are you asking me this now?"

"Well, like I said. You know, I just kind of, realised that I was being stupid…"

She sighed and slammed her locker shut, shaking her head. "I'm afraid you hurt me too much Finn. I have Jesse now and I don't need you. Sorry."

Turning she made to stalk away, but Finn grabbed her wrist, halting her progress.

"You're not able to get rid of me that easily Rache. I'm not just some guy you just met, we have a history. I'm gonna be fighting for you."

She sighed and rolled her eyes, pulling her wrist from his grasp and marching away, a frown marring her forehead.

Jesse ground his teeth together angrily. He had originally not considered Finn competition, but he was starting to become a rather large thorn in his side.

It was time to do something about Finn Hudson.

The choir room was not that crowded and Rachel was talking animatedly to him about a recent interview she'd seen with Catherine Zeta-Jones on the TV. Jesse nodded along, only half listening, trying to keep the anger he could feel building up in him under wraps.

Finn's entrance did not help and Jesse glared at the boy, his eyes narrowed. Rachel followed his gaze and frowned, confused.

"Jesse, what is it?"

Mr Shue started talking before he could answer, but the knowledge that the boy behind was most likely watching Rachel made Jesse unable to stand it any more.

Pushing himself up, he walked towards Mr Shue, ignoring the mutters of the group and Rachel's curious gaze.

"I'd like to perform please Mr Shue." He spoke through gritted teeth.

"Uh, okay Jesse…" Mr Shue stepped aside, frowning a little and went to sit at the side of the room as Jesse nodded to the band.

They immediately started playing, knowing what he needed.

"_When all is said and done  
And dead does he love you  
The way that I do?"_

He sung, facing Rachel as he felt the adrenaline pump through him, It was invigorating to get this out of him, even if he was only singing it.

"_Breathing in lightning  
Tonight's for fighting  
I feel the hurt so physical."  
_

He wove up the staggered steps in the choir room where the chairs were always stacked, making his way to Finn and glowering down at the uncomfortable boy as he sang the chorus.

_"Think twice before you touch my girl  
Come around I'll let you feel the burn."_

He circled the boy, singing into his ear. He knew he being far too over- dramatic, but he couldn't bring himself to care._  
"Think twice before you touch my girl  
Come around come around no more,"_

He backed off, stalking down the steps, but still keeping his eyes fastened on Finn as he sang, his voice rising passionately.

"_Think twice before you touch my girl  
Come around I'll let you feel the burn  
Think twice before you touch my girl  
Come around no more,"_

He broke of, gasping as the anger flowed through him, making him almost immobile as he glowered up towards Finn.

The group broke into claps as they spoke, talking quickly to each other and casting glances to Jesse as they set about dissecting his every movement. He smiled, quickly releasing his angry expression as he made his way back to his seat beside Rachel, grinning lightly at her. She returned his smile, but her eyes were troubled as they stared at him.

The session continued and Mike and Tina got up to perform a number from _'A Chorus Line'_ which made Jesse smile. If they were polished up, this group could be good. With him and Rachel at the helm there was no telling where they could go.

When Mr Shue finally released them, Jesse was unsurprised to find that Finn cornered him in the empty corridor.

"What was that man?"

Jesse kept his gaze steely as the boy towered over him and didn't answer.

"Were you trying to tell me something with that? 'Cause you don't have the right to…"

Rachel watched them anxiously, her eyes wide.

"Not up to a little competition Finn?" Jesse demanded; his cocky exterior completely intact.

"This is not a competition!" Finn fumed. "You were out of line dude, me and Rachel have a history…"

"And yet I'm closer to her after three months than you are after half a year." Jesse stated. "That speaks volumes."

Finn looked confused for a moment and Jesse grinned a little as the boy gathered himself. "That doesn't matter man, you're just butting in here. I could take you."

"Do you want to test that theory_ dude_?" Jesse snapped; his voice hard and sarcastic as he spoke the last word; squaring up.

"Maybe I do."

"Stop!" Rachel stepped in and Jesse could see the tears starting to pool in her eyes. It wasn't that surprising; the baby was seriously messing with her emotions.

"Rache?" Finn looked down at her.

"Just go," She told him and when he opened his mouth to protest she held up her hand. "Now please Finn."

Turning he walked slowly away, casting glances back at them until he was around the corner.

She shook her head, glanced at Jesse and started walking purposefully away from him, out into the parking lot and towards her car. He caught up easily and took her hand, pulling her to a halt and spinning her around to look at him.

"Well?" He asked; his voice quiet.

"Well what?" She asked; her voice cracking as she tried to hold back her tears.

"What do you think?" He stepped closer to her and she glanced away.

"I don't know," She confessed softly. "Is it… right? Should we feel this way…?"

"Why shouldn't we?" He took her face in his hands, cupping it almost roughly. "Because it's strange and alien? Because this feeling makes it feel as if we've lived our whole lives numb until now?"

"No… I don't know," She tried to look away, but his grip held firm.

"Rachel, listen to me." His voice was heartfelt, echoes of emotion running through it. "I'm crazy about you."

She blinked up at him, her eyes pooling with tears, she opened her mouth, but he didn't give her a chance to reply. He crushed his lips to hers, pulling her close.

This kiss, unlike the last one was rough, fuelled by want and need as Rachel's hand ran up his back, her short nails trailing up his neck. Her hand met with his hair and she fingered it softly. His arms slipped down to wrap around her, pulling her close until she was flush with his body, making her shiver. Heat ran through them, pulsing angrily through their bodies until Rachel finally broke off, gasping.

He leant his head upon her shoulder, his breathing heavy too.

"I think," She said after a long moment of silence. "I think I really like you too Jesse."

He pulled back and grinned at her, smiling so widely she thought his face might split.

"Well," She looked expectant. "Aren't you going to ask me?"

He was confused for a moment before realising what she meant and nodding.

Slowly, gently, he took her hands in his own and asked; his voice soft. "Will you be my girlfriend Rachel Berry?"

A smile that left him stunned spread over her face as she answered. "Yes,"

Laughing, he gathered her in his arm, hugging her so tightly that he lifted her off her feet. She laughed with him, her arms encompassing his neck as she buried her face in his hair, inhaling the strange, indescribably intoxicating scent that seemed to be sewn into his DNA.

Putting her down, he kissed her again, more softly this time and Rachel smiled against his gentle lips, the butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

"Come on," He murmured in her ear. "I'll take you home."

She nodded and he took her hand, leading her across the parking lot at a slow, leisurely pace until they came to his large black Range Rover. Opening the door for her, he took her hands and helped her up into the passenger seat. Climbing in beside her he started the engine and immediately his _Killers_ CD started playing. He reached over to turn it off and Rachel laughed.

"_Jesse_," She grinned. "I'm surprised at you. Here was me thinking you were a dedicated Broadway fan."

"Guilty pleasure," He winked, manoeuvring them from the parking lot as she laughed again.

"Don't tell me that I've found Jesse St James's one weakness?"

He laughed with her then and was glad to find that this aspect of their relationship at least, seemed unchanged.

"You are my one weakness," He said finally, his voice touched with utter sincerity and she broke off from her final low giggles to look at him, her eyes pooling with tears once more.

"Such a charmer," She sniffed, but then smiled at him, "Thank you."

"No," He took a deep breath and reached over with one hand, slowing the car down as he gently brushed her cheek with his fingers. "Thank_ you."_

She smiled at him again and waited until they pulled up outside her house to pull him into an awkward hug over the hand brake.

"Now then," He pulled away, keeping his arm around her. "What do we tell your dads?"

She sighed and glanced over his shoulder towards the house. "The truth I suppose."

"Will they be okay with it?"

He sounded so concerned that she couldn't help but smile. It was obvious he much this meant to him, their approval… her approval.

She shrugged for a moment. "_Maybe_," His face seemed to fall and she laughed a little, cupping his chin like he had done with her so many times and pulling his face up to look at her. "Definitely. They were always your greatest fans."

Though he tried to hide it, his eyes lit up and he smiled cockily, jumping from the car and moving to her side, opening the door with a flourish only he could pull off and holding out his hand.

"M'lady," His English accent was so good that, for a moment, Rachel was taken a back. Then she laughed and took his proffered hand, using it to get, delicately from the vehicle.

"Thank you kindly sir," His accent was so good that she didn't even attempt one herself. Although, she corrected herself, she_ was_ good at accents, but Jesse was remarkable.

He laughed with her and placed a hand around her shoulder. The action was strange, familiar in some ways, as he had done it so many times before, yet different. Now she was hyper aware of every movement, every touch, the feel of his skin against hers.

She shivered a little.

"Are you okay? You're not cold?" His arm tightened around her and he started leading her faster towards the house, even as she shook her head.

"You worry too much," She informed him gently, but he just pulled her closer until they got to the house. She swung open the door, waiting for him to step in before pushing it shut.

"Dad? Papa?"

Her papa appeared from the kitchen, smiling widely at them. "Hello Rache, Jesse, how are you all doing?"

"Good thanks papa, but," She glanced up at Jesse, squeezing his hand in reassurance. "we need to tell you something."

Herim's face paled and when he spoke his voice was wavering. "It's not another…"

"No!" Rachel interrupted him, quickly, flushing a little. "No papa, it's something good."

"Oh," He sounded infinitely relieved. "Okay."

"Jesse and I," She pulled his hand over her shoulder. "Are together."

Herim looked dumb struck for a moment before bursting into laughter.

"What?" Rachel demanded, her brows creasing together in annoyance.

"It's just… your dad and I have been wondering how long it would take."

Rachel gasped and struggled for breath for a minute as she stared at him, her eyes widening. "Papa!"

He just laughed and shook his head, turning to go back into the kitchen. "Coffee, you two?"

"Sure," Rachel smiled and Jesse shook his head as they followed Herim into the cheerful kitchen.

"That'll be your second cup for the week," Jesse warned, frowning and pulling out a chair for her to sit slowly down in.

She shook her head and sighed, but didn't argue it. Since they had found out about the pregnancy, both her dads and Jesse had been extremely controlling with both her diet and her exercise. She had been limited to three cups of coffee a week and her diet itself was being straight-jacketed. There was no point in fighting it, they meant well.

She cupped the coffee in her hands and inhaled the scent gratefully, sighing with pleasure as she took a small sip.

"I have missed you," She crooned softly to the cup and behind her Jesse laughed, stroking her back gently.

She glanced up at him and grinned sheepishly.

He smiled back and Rachel mused, as she gazed, transfixed, at him, that she could get lost in that smile.

**Xxx**

**I think there was something in this chapter a few of you have been waiting for?**

**Your wish is my command. **

**So, it's been confirmed…**

**JONATHAN IS BACK ON GLEE YAY! OMG OMG OMG OMG!**

**Okay… had to get that outta my system. **

**Just saying a quick THANK YOU for the reviews, I know they're hard to come by in the St Berry world nowadays and it means so much to me that you guys keep on reviewing. **

**Thank you:****SuperHugeGleek**, **lynn**, **northstar61** (thank you so much, it did come back fortunately, although I have a lingering soar throat which is doing my head in!), **tmd092** (thank you so much :) I'm much better now), **joanne** **loves** **bb**, **TV** **Hollywood** **Diva**, **nanuvamp** (first, I have thank you, second, hoping it went well, even with half a voice and third… well your question must have been answered by now, or were you not paying attention?), **MissRe** (I so did that, mainly just so I could eat honey though!) and **CompYES** ( I swear I wont hold it against you, I'm just so glad for a review!)

**Also, thanks a ton to all my well wishers, that just darn near brought a tear to my eye :') **

**Anyway, you guys just all make my day and thank you so much for reviewing. And thanks to those who are my regular reviewers too, you guys are the best!**

**Love you all and please review :)**

**Eight or nine before an update? Maybe. **

**Love (AS ALWAYS!)**

**Ray**

**xxx**


	16. Chapter 15

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

"I'm nervous." Rachel confessed, biting her lip and looking up at her boyfriend.

He laughed once and pulled her closer under his arm, "You look it," He agreed. "Please try and remember that you're not confessing to a murder here."

"Easy for you to say," She muttered and he laughed again, giving her a chaste kiss.

She smiled for a second, before dropping back into a concerned frown. "What if they don't like it, or it puts off the team, and what about Finn…?"

It was Jesse's turn to frown. "Forget about him Rache, forget about all of them, it doesn't matter what they think, as long as we're happy. You are happy right?"

"Of course," She answered with no hesitation.

"Exactly," he squeezed her shoulder and continued. "And we won't put off the club, we'll make it better."

She sighed, but he couldn't press her any more, as the last of the Glee club trailed into the choir room and sat, chatting animatedly with each other.

Rachel glanced up at Jesse and he nodded, joining her as she went to the front of the room.

"Excuse me," She cleared her throat, which was strangely blocked. "Jesse and I would like to make an announcement.

"You're transferring?" Artie put in, hopefully.

"We should be so lucky," Mercedes scoffed.

Rachel frowned and shook her head. "No, we're not transferring. We… uh…"

She cleared her throat and tried again.

"We…" She was unable to continue, her words choked off in a strange sense of nerves that clogged her up.

Jesse sighed and pulled her into his arms, reaching deep to kiss her softly. Rachel's hands wrapped around him as a series of gasps ran through the room. Rachel broke away, smiling at him ruefully when he frowned and turned to the shocked group.

"We're together," Jesse pulled her close and hugged her gently to his side.

"Yeah, that." Rachel smiled a little.

There was a long silence, before Matt and Mike turned back to each other to continue with their conversation and Puck carried on trying to start a conversation with Finn. Mercedes glanced down at Tina and started talking about a new dress she had bought over the weekend.

"Well," Artie turned to address the two girls, interrupting their conversation. "At least if they're together we'll be even better at Regionals."

Mercedes and Tina nodded along with him, glancing up at the nonplussed couple at the front of the room as Kurt commented to no one in particular. "Well, they deserve to be together," His voice had an edge to it that stung. "At least if they're together, none of us have to put up with the drama queens."

Jesse brows shot up and he glanced down at Rachel, whose mouth hung open. They looked at each other for a moment and Jesse's mouth twitched. Rachel managed to keep a straight face for a second long before cracking into a smile as they both burst into laughter together. HE scooped her into his arms again; hugging her tightly and spinning her around, before placing her gently back on the floor, still laughing.

She leaned into his side, giggling weakly and reached up on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek, smiling and resting her chin on his shoulder, still on her toes.

That was when she spotted Finn.

Her heart sank.

He looked furious. In fact he looked rigid with anger, the muscles of his neck pulled taught as he bared his teeth in their direction. She met his eyes for a second and his expression hardened into a scowl so ferocious that she stiffened and looked away, leaning into Jesse's neck.

Jesse felt her discomfort and shifted her to his side to rest against his hip as he turned in the direction of the trouble. His eyes landed on the enraged Finn and he frowned, his eyes taking on a hard edge.

"Ignore him," He whispered in Rachel's ear and then kissed her earlobe softly, making her giggle again. He lead her back to their seats an, once they were sat, leaned over to kiss her quickly again, before slinging an arm over her shoulder and pulling her closer into him, smug in the knowledge that Finn was watching their every move.

**xxx**

Quinn Fabray had had a rough year.

If she was being honest the pregnancy hadn't taken her completely by surprise, she had been secretly worrying about it since the night that she and Puck had gotten together after he got her drunk on wine coolers. Her fears had been confirmed soon after.

Finn had been the one to tell her parents in the end- when he still thought the child was his. Her dad had given her half an hour to pack her things and leave- he had even set the timer on the microwave.

It had been Rachel Berry in the end, who had told Finn. Quinn hadn't had it in her to be furious. She knew she should be, Berry had poked her nose in where it wasn't wanted, but if she was being honest it was a lot easier once Finn knew. She had moved directly into Puck's, to his mother's displeasure and she hadn't had to keep up the pretence any more, to her ultimate relief.

Finn hated her, but it was so much easier now he knew that she couldn't bring herself to wish that Rachel hadn't done it.

Then, on the last day of term before Christmas, her mom, Judy, had accosted her. She hadn't seen her since she moved out. Although it had been mainly her dad's decision Quinn had doubted that her mother was thrilled about it and knew that she tended to follow what her father did, so she hadn't held up any hopes.

Which was what made it so surprising.

She had asked Quinn if she wanted to go for coffee. Quinn didn't, but she went anyway, curiosity winning out. The drive to Starbucks had been tense and only once they were sat in the café, Judy with a skimmed latte and Quinn with her bottle of fresh spring water, did her mom utter the four words that changed everything.

"I've divorced your father."

"What?" Quinn's jaw dropped as she stared across the small table to where the mother sat, impeccably groomed.

Judy glanced at her and took a sip of coffee before repeating. "I divorced your father."

"When?" Quinn spluttered.

"A few weeks after you left, darling."

It felt odd to hear her mother call her that again, but Quinn continued, ignoring the strange feelings. "But where are you going to live, how are you going to live?"

Her mom's tone was affronted when she replied. "I do have a job you know Quinny. And," Her gave a smug little smile. "I was promoted."

"Where do you live?" Quinn took in her mother's appearance, looking for any outward signs of the huge change her mother had taken upon herself. She was still and stylish and perfect as ever, the only change was the absence of a ring on her finger.

"I rent this charming little house on East Street." Judy smiled delicately, before turning towards her daughter with an air of importance. "Anyway, I've decided that, now your father's gone, you could come back and live with me, despite the… er…" She motioned vaguely to her stomach and Quinn raised her eyebrows.

"Really?"

"Yes," Her mom's smile, which had disappeared at the thought of the pregnancy, revealed itself once again. Her tone made it obvious that she thought she was doing Quinn a huge favour. "For Christmas, you can come now, just go back and get your things and we'll move you straight back in."

"Okay," Quinn's tone was wary and she realised that she was obviously displaying the wrong emotions. Trying to inject the right amount of enthusiasm into her voice she tried again. "That sounds so great mom, uh, _thank you_." The last words were coated with insincerity, but Judy didn't notice, getting up to go and give her daughter a delicate hug that lasted all of two seconds.

**xxx**

Pushing herself up from the single bed she now owned in her mother's guest room, Quinn rubbed her eyes tiredly. The baby made it harder than ever to actually get up in the mornings and it was getting difficult to remind herself that she once got up at six am every morning. Walking the few sleepy paces to the bathroom she jumped in the shower, washing quickly before changing and heading down the stairs.

The kitchen, or kitchen/diner as her mother liked to call it, was decorated in a sunshine yellow colour that, in her current mood, made Quinn feel like vomiting. On the table was a glass vase, filled with early daffodils, despite in being mid March and beside it there was a stack of neatly pilled magazines.

The whole room was spotless.

As usual.

Grabbing an apple and cutting it into chunks Quinn sat heavily in a chair and devoured the fruit quickly, before grabbing a high-fibre cereal bar and shoving it in her bag, eating as she left the house, locking the door behind her.

She and her mother didn't have much contact in the morning. Judy would be off for work early and by the time Quinn roused herself enough to get up she would be gone. Her mom had poked her head around the door once, a short time after she officially moved in and greeted her, saying that she loved her.

That had been too weird for the both of them and she hadn't done it again.

Evening was the worst. They would sit down together for a 'family meal' and talk robotically about their days.

It all felt so false and Quinn could only hope that it would improve with time.

Puck gave her a lift to school and once they arrived they went their separate ways. People avoided her like the plague, but on the upside none of the jocks wanted to slushie a pregnant girl.

Glee club was the best part of her day, it was only time people would actually talk to her and, although she would never admit it, she actually liked all the music.

That new guy, Jesse St James, he seemed okay too. If anything, he made Rachel happy again. Quinn wasn't blind; she had noticed the change in Rachel, perhaps more than anyone else in the club. It had disturbed her to see Rachel retreat so from the loud moth, bubbly, slightly obnoxious know-it-all she had been and become a shell of her former self. But Jesse had revived her in a way. Brought her back to herself, but changed her too, perhaps for the better.

Even Quinn could see how besotted they were with each other. It was like some sickening rom-com or something.

She just hoped he wouldn't hurt her; Rachel wasn't likely to get over it if he did.

Sighing Quinn glanced up the hall and saw a group of giggling Cheerios and felt her throat constrict. She missed being a Cheerio so much, missed the safe protection of her uniform, the springing ponytail that it now felt wrong to wear her hair in, the security of being at the top of the social pyramid. Now she was little more than a bit of dirt at the bottom.

Turning she ducked into the girl's bathroom before they could pass her, tears stinging her eyes.

What met her eyes made her gasp.

Rachel Berry was stood, looking in the mirrors, her signature jumper pulled up to her ribs and her hand cupping her stomach in a gesture that Quinn could not mistake.

"Rachel!" Her gasp broke the silence.

**xxx**

Rachel sighed as she pushed herself from the cubical, her head ringing slightly. The morning sickness was ebbing slightly, but it was far less regular, which was seriously irritating. She tried to avoid Jesse in situations like this, despite him denying she knew he hated it when he saw her throw up.

Glancing around, she noticed that the bathroom was deserted and after a moments' hesitation, pulled up her jumper gently.

There was a slight bulge between her hips, a bulge that, to anyone else, would just look like she had a big lunch.

Sighing again she let her hand slide down the smooth skin of her stomach and caress the bump gently, thinking of the child inside her.

The sight of little Millie, from California, danced before her eyes and she felt the tears spring in her eyes. She wanted that. She wanted a sweet little baby that she could cradle in her arms and sing sweet lullabies to. She just didn't want one now.

"Rachel!" The gasp drew her attention immediately and she looked up, freezing instinctively.

Before her stood Quinn Fabray.

And she was staring at Rachel's exposed stomach.

Rachel moved her hand away quickly from her bump and let her sweater drop down over the offending swelling. Panic knotted her insides and set her heart racing as she stared at Quinn's expression.

Rachel could tell immediately when the pieces fit together in Quinn's head. The girl's eyes widened and she looked up to meet Rachel's eyes, her face twisted into a horrified expression, gaping at her.

"Rachel your not…"

"No," Rachel snapped quickly.

"You are," Quinn was shaking her head from side to side, her own hands cupping her stomach. "Oh my God, it all adds up, the vomiting, how emotional you've been… Oh my God." She looked up at her, new horror colouring her eyes. "It's not _Finn's_ is it?"

Rachel's head span and she felt here eyes flutter as she stared at Quinn, her heart thrumming like a hummingbird's wings. Her breathing hitched and suddenly she was in Quinn's arms.

It took her a moment to realise that the girl wasn't hugging her, but holding her up.

"Rachel!" Quinn called to her, shaking her as best she could. "Rachel?" Slowly Rachel gathered herself together, pulling away from Quinn long enough to catch her breath before sliding to the floor and putting her head in her hands.

"Rachel?" Quinn asked again and knelt down beside her.

"Go on then," Rachel's voice was dead, even to her own ears. "Go and tell everyone."

"I wouldn't… I won't." Quinn's whisper was sincere enough to lift Rachel's head.

"Why not?" She whispered, "you'd have every rite to."

Quinn just shook her head at her incredulously. "Of course I wouldn't. I'm not _that_ mean."

Rachel raised her eyebrows until Quinn corrected herself. "Any more."

She felt the hysteria bubble within her and spluttered over her laughter, waiting until the giggles subsided before saying, her voice suddenly grave. "It's not Finn's."

"Then… Jesse?" Quinn asked, softly.

Rachel only shook her head.

"Who then?" Quinn frowned, confused.

Rachel glanced up at her and wondered for a second whether she could tell Quinn the truth. Would the ex-cheerio tell? She doubted it, Quinn was just as low down the social ladder as Rachel now and she barely talked to anyone.

"Do you swear not to say anything?" She breathed finally.

Quinn's eyes narrowed, but she nodded slowly. "I swear."

"Really?"

The girl nodded again and Rachel searched her expression for any sign of pretence. She couldn't find anything. Quinn's eyes stared back at her, big and blue and undeniably open.

Rachel was still undecided, but one simple gesture made her mind up for her. Slowly, gently, Quinn reached over and placed a soft hand on Rachel's shoulder.

Comforting.

"Over Christmas," Rachel glanced away, the tears already blocking her throat. "Over Christmas I was…" A tear slipped down her cheek. "I was…" She couldn't bring herself to say the word and the sobs ripped through her again as she glanced up at Quinn, watching as the realisation dawned in her eyes.

She waited for the hand to be torn away, for the disgusted sounds.

But they never came.

Instead the blonde swept her up into a deep hug, so tight that Rachel could barely breathe. Although she wasn't sure, as she was still crying, she thought she could feel Quinn sobbing too, gently, beneath her, as if she felt Rachel's pain. Her speculation was confirmed when Quinn pulled away to talk to her and Rachel could see the elegant tears (how could she make_ tears _delicate, for goodness sake?) slipping down her cheeks.

"Oh Rachel," The sound of her voice brought up a fresh bought of tears in Rachel as she cried, her throat constricting desperately as her chest rose and fell at a rapid rate.

"Didn't you go to hospital?"

"Yes," Rachel nodded, speaking through her tears. "Jesse was the one who found me, I was… unconscious."

Quinn was silent, encouraging her.

"They gave me a test there," Rachel continued. "But…" She shrugged. "They're only 98 percent accurate you know?"

Quinn just nodded and her eyes slid down to Rachel's stomach. "How far along are you?"

"Three or four months." Rachel admitted.

"Have you been for a scan?" Quinn asked, her eyes still glued to the bump.

"I'm going next week." Rachel smiled a little and then added, cautiously. "I could show you the picture, when I get back… if you want."

"Yeah," Quinn looked up and her and smiled, fresh tears in her voice. "Yeah, I'd like that."

They were interrupted by a ringing in Rachel's pocket and she pulled out her cell to see a new text from Jesse. Smiling ruefully she opened it and read quickly:

_Glee's starting, are you okay?_

Rachel smiled a little, her lips twitching upwards.

"Was that…"

"Jesse," She finished, glancing up at Quinn.

"Does he know?" Her eyes slipped down to her stomach again for a second, before flashing back up to Rachel's face.

"He guessed." Rachel shrugged and then reached up to the counter, using it to pull herself up before offering her hand to Quinn. "He says Glee's starting."

Quinn took the hand gratefully and heaved herself up. "Thanks, shall we go in… together?"

"Sure, Rachel smiled at her and they walked down the hallway with each other, finding secret comfort in the other's presence.

**xxx**

Jesse never expected to see Shelby Corcoran ever again. He suspected that she wasn't so happy with him. She had practically raised him, taught him all he knew, been relying on him for another National title and he had bailed on her.

When he had first left Vocal Adrenaline he had got a few calls from Shelby, all of which he had screened, which had lead to a series of angry messages. But after a week or so that had petered out. He had had a few recently too, but he hadn't even bothered listening to the messages. He thought he knew where this was coming from. Shelby thought he would have had time to stew a little, to realise how much better the V.A were compared to New Directions. She presumed he had keft for the challenge.

She was wrong.

Mostly anyway.

But Jesse wasn't a fool. He knew himself better than most did and he could feel the pull of V.A. Success had been the most important thing in his life, until being recently knocked from its podium by a certain brunette. So he felt the pull of a fourth National title, the desire to be the best again, to be awed and respected.

So he had decided not to tempt fate.

Rachel had gone to see one of her many aunts over the weekend, so, for the first time in a long while, Jesse found himself alone. After sitting around in his empty house for around half an hour he had driven over to his old haunt, the East Side of town. It surprised, but pleased him to find that he was still just as respected as he had been before the move. If any other McKinley student had even tried crossing the unmarked border they would have been run out of town.

Perusing the book cases that were stacked full of sheet music he allowed his hand to caress the spines until he found the one he wanted, pulling it out and examining it closely. The words _An Easy Guide to Learning to Play_ were emblazoned across the front in bright red letters. It wasn't for him, _obviously_, but he intended on teaching Rachel to play sometime, if things ever calmed down.

"Doesn't seem like your kind of thing, Jesse."

If the voice surprised him, Jesse didn't show it, keeping his back to the speaker and starting to leaf through the pages as he replied.

"It isn't for me."

Tucking the book under his arm he walked the few paces to the cashier and handed the bored assistant the book, along with a wad of dollar notes. As the assistant counted out his change and handed him the book in a glossy bag the woman asked, her voice hard and curious.

"Oh really?"

"Indeed." Jesse responded, keeping his back to her and leaving the shop.

"Jesse!" She called out to him and he stopped unwillingly, fixing a polite smile on his face before turning to see her.

"Shelby."

The woman was just as she had always been. Tall, dark haired and sharp. She radiated power, confidence and certainty, something that she had taught Jesse well over the years. Her strange, grey-brown eyes seemed to pierce into him; straight dark hair framed a pointed face and she wore a crisp dark coat.

"Would you like to get coffee, for old time's sake?" Her gaze was calculating, her tone a tad too casual.

Emotions warred within Jesse. His curiosity to see her and talk to her, after all, she had been his teacher and tutor for nearly four years, battling against his worry. Shelby barely ever did anything without an angle. Everything she did was for the good of her, or the good of the team.

"Okay," He said finally. "A quick coffee."

"Sounds good." Shelby smiled, encouragingly and fell into step beside him.

They arrived at the coffee shop in a few minutes, walking quickly, the only sound the tapping of Shelby's shoes. Sitting at a small table that faced out onto a window they ordered their drinks and waited as the waiter disappeared.

"So," Shelby broke the silence. "I hear you've transferred to McKinley High."

"You've heard right."

Shelby watched him closely as the waiter reappeared with their drinks, delivering them to their table before leaving again.

"Why?"

Jesse shrugged, keeping eye contact. "I needed a change of scene."

"And swapping around your timetable wasn't enough for you?" Dry humour coated Shelby's tone, but neither of them laughed.

"Not really," Jesse took a sip of his coffee.

"Huh," She looked him up and down and Jesse bristled. "Shame, I always had such high hopes for you."

"I thought everyone was replaceable?" His tone was sharp.

"Most are, but you're something else Jesse St James. You're different."

Unable to reply, he took another gulp.

"Of course, we will still thrash you at Nationals." Her tone became intense as she leaned slightly closer when she spoke again. "You can achieve great things Jesse."

"I know," He replied blankly.

"But not at that school."

Jesse shrugged. "We aren't that bad." He was thinking of only one member when he spoke.

Almost reading his thoughts, Shelby's tone shifted almost immediately to one that was far more relaxed. "Of course, I've also heard that there's a girl."

Jesse stiffened after a long moment of silence he asked, his voice tight. "How do you know about that?"

She didn't answer, only saying. "I am right then."

"Yes, not that it's any of your business."

"Perhaps," She gazed over the mug at him again. "I get it Jesse, you want a challenge, you want to be the one to change that pathetic excuse of a club around, you want to lead them to greatness. But it really isn't going to work."

He just raised an eyebrow and she continued, unconcerned. "You are a great performer Jesse. One of the best I've ever seen and coming from me that means big things," Like he needed to be reminded of that. "But even the greatest performer can't win unless they have a good team behind them. You're working with mediocrity Jesse."

"They are good, they have heart."

"But not talent," Shelby replied, immediately. "Sectionals is one thing. It's all very well to win at Sectionals by using _heart_," She almost spat the word out. "But when it comes to Regionals, and Nationals. _Talent_ is what matters there and you know it." She paused, but he didn't reply, so she continued, adding. "After all, you need vocalists to match you."

"I have them." His response was quick.

She looked at him for a minute. "Yes, you have a certain Miss Rachel Berry, don't you?"

"How do you know Rachel?" Though his voice was calm, there was an edge to it that worried Shelby.

"I saw her perform the ballad at Sectionals, with the rest of the team, you weren't able to attend remember?"

Jesse flinched slightly at the memory. Of course, it had been near to Christmas, so he had been roped in to a family meal with his parents and his tight lipped grandmother, all of whom had questioned him continually on his prospects and his future. All refused to believe that he would get onto Broadway.

"Yes, I remember."

"It makes sense that you would be drawn to her Jesse, she's extremely talented. How did you two meet?"

Jesse hesitated for a moment. "At a music store, I found her flicking through a Lionel Richie book."

Shelby raised her eyebrows. "I'm unsurprised. You know," She leant forward. "You wouldn't have to come alone, I'd be happy to let Rachel into Vocal Adrenaline too. She's definitely talented enough. She could even be lead female vocalist."

Jesse watched Shelby for a minute, did he want him and Rachel to move back to the V.A. Yes… and no. And what if Rachel didn't want to leave McKinley? There was no way he would go to Vocal Adrenaline without her.

"I have to go." He said abruptly, digging some change out of his pocket as he rose and throwing it on the table next to his empty coffee cup.

"Think about it Jesse!" She called after him as he walked from the café.

**Xxx**

**Hey guys! Thank you so much for the amazing response to the last chapter, it was amazing that you all reviewed and so made my day. So sorry that I don't actually have time to list everyone now, but I promise I will next chapter!**

**I won't be able to update for the next week or so, so I'm updating now and will the next second I can, I will. **

**Anyway, so I'm hoping this chapter was okay, sorry if it seemed a little uneven, in the actual version of this the chapters are like thirty- forty pages long, so I have to cut it all up to make it fit properly for fanfiction and this chapter fell right between a chapter break. **

**So, Shelby has appeared, did I get Shelby right do you think? I quite enjoy writing Shelby, but I need to know that I'm writing her in character because she's going to crop up quite a few times from now on… **

**Any hoo har. I hope y'all enjoy the new glee episode (US), I will have to catch it once I get back, although all of us over here in the UK are slowly catching you up (**_**yay mini happy dance)**_**. **

**Who saw Lea's Twitter post by the way? The one about singing with her best friend? Wait one second and I'll find it…**

Now this is what I call a great day of work! Singing in the morning with my best friend and working with one of our favorite directors! :)

**Three guesses who she's talking about XD (**_**fan-girl squeal)**_

**Okay, I shall now sign out :( and hope that when I return there will be reviews awaiting me… maybe eight or nine? ;)**

**Alright.**

**Fanfiction Off.**

**Ray Out. **

**Love **

**Ray**

**Xxx**


	17. Chapter 16

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

Rachel's first sonogram was a nerve wreaking event for all involved. The morning of the exam Rachel was even more tetchy than normal and she burst into tears halfway through the Glee rehearsal because Finn was struggling to execute a spin perfectly. Jesse had been forced to hurry her from the room.

Pulling her into a deserted classroom he sat her down on a chair and knelt in front of her.

"What's wrong Rachel?"

"I just… what if Finn can't get that spin at all? How will we ever win Regionals with mediocrity?" She sobbed, her voice breaking.

"No Rachel," He forced her head up to look at him. "You know that's not what I meant."

She kept silent for a moment, but cracked under his unfaltering gaze.

"What…" She sniffled, and he took her hand, rubbing them comfortingly. "Jesse what if there's something wrong with the baby?"

Her tears streamed down her face and her breath cracked as he pulled her into a tight hug.

"That's what this is?" He wasn't that surprised. "You need to stop worrying Berry, it'll be fine, I promise you."

"How do you know?" She whimpered.

He laughed a little, stroking her hair gently. "Because I'm Jesse St James and I know everything."

She laughed a little too and when she looked up, he was relieved to see that her tears had abated slightly.

"Thank you," She sniffed and wiped a hand under her eyes to mop away her tears.

"Any time," He replied softly, pulling her in for another hug and kissing the top of her head softly. "Would you rather just go now?"

She nodded under him and he led her out to the car.

They had driven straight to the hospital and met her dads there. Hiram had managed to change Leroy's mind, but Leroy was obviously still not happy. He stood, his mouth set with something between anger and worry, in the waiting room, his arms crossed over his chest.

They all trailed into the hospital room behind Rachel, who sat gently on the chair. Leroy moved to stand behind her, his arm crossed over his chest, his face set stubbornly. Jesse was glad that she couldn't see him. Hiram went to stand at one side and Jesse at the other, holding Rachel's hand and rubbing soothing circles on her soft palm.

"Okay," A cheerful red-head in a long white coat walked swiftly in, examining a chart as she came. She glanced up and grinned at Rachel. "So you're Rachel then?"

"Yes." Rachel nodded, squeezing Jesse's hand tighter.

"Great," The red head smiled, perching herself on a stool beside the sonogram machine. "I'm Dr Walker. But you guys can call me Julie." She glanced around them. "Gosh, I don't think I've ever seen so many people in here before. Are you all closely related?"

"Yeah," Hiram answered, gesturing to himself and Leroy. "We're her Dads."

Julie didn't bat an eyelash, just nodded and then turned to Jesse, "And you are?"

"Jesse," He supplied. "Rachel's boyfriend." He smiled down at her and she smiled through her nerves up at him.

"Oh," She consulted the chart again quickly, before glancing up at him and asking warily. "If you don't mind me asking are you the…. father?"

"No," Jesse shook his head, but said no more.

Julie seemed to sense the collective reluctance from all four of them to not disclose any more information, because she smiled brightly again and asked, cheerfully. "Okay, shall we get this thing started?"

Rachel nodded and drew up the hem of her owl sweater and shivered as the woman smeared the familiar blue goo over her stomach.

"Sorry," Julie laughed lightly, "It's a bit cold. Okay then, let's see how everything's going in there." Holding the probe carefully she ran it over Rachel's stomach.

They all turned and watched the small screen expectantly. After a silence that was broken only by the sound of the probe on Rachel's stomach, whirring away, a flickering picture appeared. Staring at the dark blurry picture Jesse tried to make out some kind of figure in it.

"Well, everything looks healthy," Julie pointed to the screen as she moved the probe. "Look, you see there, you can see his fingers. They'll have just separated."

Peering closer Jesse sucked in a shocked breath as he saw what she meant. It was so tiny he wouldn't have noticed if it hadn't have been pointed out to him, but, like so many things, now he could see it, it was obvious. Four tiny fingers and a thumb, so small they were almost invisible, following the fingers upwards Jesse could just make out the figure of the baby, the head, the legs, even the tiny toes.

"Baby," Rachel breathed softly, her eyes gleamed with unshed tears.

"Have you felt any kicks or movement?" Julie asked, looking back at Rachel.

Rachel's eyes widened in panic, "No, should I have?"

"No, it's just that it might start soon. He's going to start stretching around now, so you'll feel him kicking. It does mean that there'll be pressure off your bladder though, so that's good. But," She looked concerned. "And I don't know if it's going to affect you, but your uterus is going to shift forward, so you'll start showing soon."

"It'll be fine," Rachel said dismissively. "Do you know that he's a boy?" Her eyes were bright again, but they faded as the woman laughed.

"Oh, no, sorry to get your hopes up; we won't be able to tell the sex until around the fifth or sixth month, if you want to know."

"Oh, okay." Rachel's face fell and Jesse squeezed her hand again.

"So, you've been having morning sickness yeah?"

Rachel nodded.

"Any cravings?"

"Uh, kind of, I used to be vegan, but the baby decided it didn't like soy, so I'm now a vegetarian." Rachel glanced down at her stomach.

"Okay," The woman scribbled on her chart and smiled at Rachel again. "Well, just make sure you eat healthily and exercise, but carefully."

"Alright," Rachel nodded, listening intently.

"Alright," She glanced over the clipboard once more, before looking up and smiling at them. "I'll wipe this off for you and then that's about it. Do you want a DVD?"

"Yes," Leroy put in quickly and they all looked up at him. His eyes were fixed to the screen and his eyes too, were glazed over with tears. "Please." He added and reached his hand over the top of the seat to stroke Rachel's hair gently.

A tear escaped and trickled down Rachel's cheek as she smiled up at him.

"Okay, a DVD then." Julie started to wipe the goo off Rachel, clicking the screen off.

"Oh, and a picture?" Rachel asked. "If you can do it."

"We sure can." Julie wiped the last of the coldness from Rachel's stomach and grinned, scooting backwards on her stool. "You guys can go wait outside if you want."

Rachel nodded and Jesse helped her up, placing a quick kiss on her cheek as he led her from the room. Once they were in the deserted waiting room, he stepped back, allowing Hiram and Leroy to gather her in their arms. All three were crying.

"Here," Julie's voice, soft and unobtrusive was at his shoulder. She handed him a brown envelope. "It's got the DVD and the picture in it. We'll email the bill."

She stood next to him for a minute, watching the embracing family.

"She lucky to have such a nice family," Was her final comment as she walked away.

"Yeah," Jesse kept his eyes on the Berry's. "Yeah, she is."

**Xxx**

It didn't take long for Jesse to make his decision. Though Shelby's offer was tempting, more so than he would admit, he could see with one glance that Rachel would never leave New Directions and he wouldn't leave without her.

She was so in touch with the team, despite not being that close with any of the Glee members. He had noticed that recently she had become closer to Quinn, but he knew why that was. She had told him immediately when she'd told Quinn.

Quinn was very nice about the whole thing and it was nice for Rachel to have that comfort, another pregnant girl to help her.

Jesse too had become closer with some of the team. None of them had ever had anything against him, so it had been easy to get onto friendly terms with Puck, Mike and Matt. Mercedes and Tina didn't see anything wrong with greeting him in the hall. Kurt had even begun talking to him more often and glancing his way.

He had made better friends here after one month than in Vocal Adrenaline after four years.

That was the problem with Vocal Adrenaline. Always so much emphasis on the winning, there was never any time to make friends. That wasn't something he wanted Rachel to experience.

Also, he knew that the rigorous training and difficult dances would do nothing for the baby. If Shelby even found out about the pregnancy Rachel would be out the team like a bat out of hell and there was no way he was forcing her into that kind of humiliation.

So that was it.

They would both stay at McKinley.

Suddenly he felt a whole lot lighter.

**Xxx**

Even the most unobservant of the group noticed that Mr Shue was distracted. He had gone in a matter of days from the overly enthusiastic, strangely on edge teacher, preparing them for Regionals to a distracted, half-hearted shell of himself.

The Glee club had been listening as he gave them their weekly rant about how important Regionals were and how under pressure they all were to do well at Regionals or the club would be ditched.

"… if Vocal Adrenaline beat us again," Rachel and Jesse listened far more aptly than everyone else. Most had their cells out and Santana and Puck were having a whispered argument at the back of the room to do with underwear and chocolate mouse. Rachel expected Mr Shue to bring them up on it, to reprimand them on their lack of concentration and bad attitude, but the teacher kept on talking, staring up at the wall past them. "We will never live it down. This group used to be…"

They waited for to continue and after a few more seconds of frozen silence and Mercedes' polite cough he seemed to come back to his senses, blinking a few times and saying. "Uh, sorry, where was I?"

"This club used to be…" Rachel prompted.

"Oh right, it used to be so much more alive, much more…" The young man was off again, his eyes dazed.

"M-Mr Shue?" Tina asked, finally. "Are you ok-kay?"

"Yeah man, you're like, totally out of it." Puck ran a hand over his landing strip of a mohawk.

Mr Shue looked at them for a second before sitting heavily down on the piano stool and burying his head in his hands.

"Mr Shue?" Quinn sounded alarmed, "what is it?"

"I need to leave." He said finally, rubbing a hand over his face again and looked up at them wearily.

"Like, permanently?" Artie asked.

"No, no. But, my dad got ill the other day and my mom's having to look after him on her own. They live right down state and she really needs some help, but if I leave now we'll fall way behind on our Regionals work."

"Uh uh, no way." Mercedes shook her head, her long necklace jangling quietly. "You're gonna go help your momma Mr Shue, we'll be fine."

"I'd be quite happy to take over while Mr Shue is away." Rachel raised her hand a little and there was a groan that ran through the group.

"We'll help you get a good substitute too, Mr Shue." Kurt added, throwing a scathing glance in Rachel's direction.

"No, no I can probably do that Kurt." Mr Shue glanced at them, "Are you sure you'll be okay? I shouldn't be gone more than a week."

"We'll be fine." Finn replied.

"Yeah, so you go down to see your momma and when you get back we'll have a whole set list ready for you." Mercedes grinned and for the first time that day Mr Shue smiled.

**Xxx**

The next day the kids in Glee were unsurprised to walk in the room and find it deserted. Even Mr Shue didn't normally arrive until after them and they knew almost certainly that Mr Shue wouldn't be there.

Rachel was, for the first time in a long while, alone. Jesse had received an unexpected call from his parents commanding him to fly down state to see his auntie who 'was on her deathbed'. Jesse hadn't seemed very concerned upon hearing this news and when Rachel had inquired, he had replied, bitterly.

"This is the third time this month."

Then, with a parting kiss and the words, "I won't be gone more than two days, I promise, be careful. I love you." He left.

Rachel was missing him, despite the constant texts and three phone calls already that she had gotten from the boy in question.

So she sat alone at the front, something that had once been custom. However, now that she had grown accustomed to the comforting presence of her boyfriend, it almost hurt to see the whole front row deserted, besides her.

Quinn, however, saved her complete humiliation. She too, sat on the front row, a few seats away so as not to arise suspicion, but close enough to cast Rachel and fleeting smile.

Rachel felt better again.

The substitute's entrance was abrupt. A tall figure, she strode quickly into the room, heels clicking sharply against the floor. The room fell silent as they waited for her to speak, watching as she lay her bag on the piano top and turned to face them.

"So," Were her first words, in her high, staccato voice, "you must be New Directions."

And for some reason, Rachel felt her stomach twist anxiously. Vaguely, she wondered if her morning sickness was returning.

"You don't seem like much." She ran a scathing glance over them. "But I can soon sort that. I am Miss Clarkson. Sarah Clarkson."

There was a long silence.

"I hear you need to make a set list." Under her unwavering gaze they all nodded hurriedly. "Fine then, let's start." Pulling a notepad from her bag she took a pen and ran her eyes over them again. Stopping on Finn and Puck she said. "I'm guessing you two are the lead males?"

"Uh…" Puck glanced over at Finn, uncertainly.

"Actually," Rachel put in. "Jesse is. But he's unable to attend school today."

Miss Clarkson fixed her with a hard look. "And you are?"

Rachel straightened her back, her jaw tightening as she answered. "Rachel Berry, lead female vocalist."

Miss Clarkson's eyebrow rose. "Oh _really_, well, hard on Jesse. So," She turned back to the two boys, effectively dismissing Rachel. "What kind of things can you two sing?"

"Excuse me," Rachel rose to her feet, a frown marring her forehead. "But Jesse is an excellent performer; you should not just cut him out of all of our selections."

Miss Clarkson rounded on her, scowling. "Did I ask for your opinion?"

"Well no…" Rachel started, but Miss Clarkson cut her off.

"Are you being employed to run this Glee club?"

"No…"

"Well I am, so could you kindly keep your mouth shut and your opinions to yourself."

There were shocked gasps and sniggers as Rachel sat, slowly, unwillingly into her seat and watched the woman with a new wariness.

"Well?" She looked back up at the boys.

"Uh…" Finn seemed uncomfortable. "Like, classic rock and stuff."

"Okay and…" She pointed up to Santana. "And you, what can you do?"

"I don't know," Santana shrugged, inspecting her nails. "Everyone knows I'm just here to look hot."

"Not any more, I'm making you lead female."

"What?" Santana's head snapped up, her eyes widening.

"What?" Rachel's gasp ran through the room as tension rippled through the group. "I really must protest…" Miss Clarkson shot a withering look her way and Rachel faltered, trailing off.

"So, what do I have to do?" Santana was still watching the woman, obviously thrilled, but unwilling to get her hopes up.

Rachel cast her a scathing look.

"Well, you have to sing a ballad for Regionals right?"

"Yeah, and?"

"What do you think a ballad is?"

Rachel almost put her head in her hands and wept when Santana answered, shrugging. "Like Katy Perry or something?"

"_No_," Rachel whispered, aghast.

Miss Clarkson ignored her and continued, to Santana. "Okay, so what Katy Perry song?"

"I don't know," Santana glanced around, warily. "Firework?"

"Okay, we have our first song for Regionals."

"W-what?" Tina asked.

"Seriously?" Santana asked, her eyes sparkling.

"_Seriously?" _Rachel's eyebrows creased, angrily.

"Yes, completely." She turned to them, motioning towards the room.

She instructed them on where to stand, placing Santana at the front and Puck and Finn around her.

"You," She indicated to Rachel, "At the back."

Rachel unwillingly dragged her feet to the back of the group and stood behind the lanky Matt, completely hidden from view. She could only hope that this was for only one song, that the substitute would come to her senses and put Rachel as the lead again soon enough.

However, the session slowly deteriorated into disaster. Miss Clarkson seemed to have only praise for everyone else, but for Rachel she could do nothing but criticise.

"You're drowning everyone out!"

"You're flapping around like a deranged chicken!"

"Is it so hard to sing in tune?"

What made it even worse was that Rachel knew she was doing it all perfectly, she always did. She had never sung off tune in her life, her steps were perfectly synchronised and her voice was controlled.

For the first time in months she was glad to have Glee club over and fled from the room well before the rest of the group, the tears stinging her eyes.

Sliding into the girl's bathrooms she ignored a group of curious freshmen and stumbled into a stall, slumping onto the seat and allowing the tears to wash down her face in an angry, constant flow. She cried herself out, and, as the tears finally trailed off into a few, wet sniffles, her hands tightened angrily over her knees.

There was no way she was letting this woman get away with making her feel like this; she was a Berry for goodness sake! Pushing herself up, she grabbed her bag and stormed from the cubicle.

The freshmen were gone, the bell had evidently rung whilst she was having her crying fit and she was glad she had a free period next. She splashed cold water in her face to remove any trace of tears and marched from the bathrooms, down the deserted corridor and into the library, sitting at one of the many computer filled desk. As she logged in she mulled the name over in her head. She prided herself on having an excellent memory and she was sure that she had heard the name 'Sarah Clarkson' before.

After a moment's more thinking it hit her and she went immediately to her internet history. Selecting the right website she scanned through the indigo coloured page and went to the blogs. On the Official Ohio Showchoir's website students from other Glee clubs regularly posted blogs on things of interest and she enjoyed reading them.

Still scanning down the page, she stopped when she saw the word 'Clarkson'. Going to the top of the screen, she read from the beginning of the post.

It had been posted by someone called Harry Rednap and he told of how his Glee director had also had to leave for a period of time. A woman called Sarah Clarkson had replaced him and she had pushed them seriously hard, but didn't seem to know what she was doing. She organised costumes and the buying of all of their props and costumes. They didn't find out until she was long gone that she had stolen most of their funds. Their Headmaster refused to do anything about it, saying that she was not their problem anymore and that they were legally handcuffed. Attached to the post were hundreds of comments reporting on the same thing happening, all over Ohio and further.

Rachel felt her anger peak. They barely had enough funds as it was and this woman was coming in trying to steal what little they had. Printing off the pages she had been looking at, she slipped them into her bag and started down the corridors again, this time heading to Principle Figgins' office.

When she arrived at the huge glass doors she knocked impatiently, wrapping her knuckles against the glass with satisfying finality.

Pushing open the door she pulled down the edge of the light brown sweater she was wearing and straightened her chocolate brown skirt as Mrs Goodrich, the school secretary, put down the phone reluctantly.

"Good afternoon Mrs Goodrich."

"Hello Rachel," She said, with a touch of distaste to her tone.

"Is the Principle available?"

Mrs Goodrich looked slowly towards the tall glass wall that separated the reception area with the Principle's office and Rachel followed her gaze. Figgins' had, unfortunately, left his blinds wide open and it was easy to see the screaming parents stood in front of his desk and the terrified expression on his face. The two looked away and Mrs Goodrich replied in a patronisingly slow voice.

"No, I'm afraid not. Can I take a message?"

"Only that I stopped by," Rachel replied, feeling slightly disheartened.

"Alright, then I'll really have to ask you to- Miss Clarkson?"

Rachel span around, alarmed to see the teacher watching them both.

"Can I do anything for you?"

"No," Miss Clarkson answered, her eyes fixing on Rachel. "I would like a word with you though Rachel."

Unable to say anything else Rachel only nodded woodenly, following her from the room and down the corridor to the empty Spanish classroom. Fear was twisting her stomach oddly again and she walked a few paces away from the sharp, pale faced woman.

Once inside Miss Clarkson shut the door firmly. "I'd like to talk about your place in Glee club Rachel."

"Okay," Rachel watched her, folding the papers up in her palm with barely a noise.

"I just don't think your what the team needs right now."

"What?" Rachel's mouth snapped open.

"Yes, I've thought about it and come to the decision that we need to work as a team and that only works if there's a leader. Me. You openly disregard what I say Rachel, you are rebellious and personally, I feel I can't work with you."

Rachel's face began to burn.

"I disagree."

"But who's the teacher here?"

"You can't kick me out!" She cried, angrily.

"I can and I will." She stepped back and opened the door smoothly. "I think we're done here."

Rachel stayed, almost glued to her position in the middle of the classroom.

"You can't kick me out." She said again, more calmly this time.

"Oh," She feigned interest, her hard eyes flashing with the potential victory. "And why not?"

Rachel let the silence settle before saying, slowly, savouring the words as she went.

"Because I know your secret."

**Xxx**

**Wow, so hey, I'm back :) I had a good time, but it was amazing coming home to all those reviews!**

**This plot bunny kind of came from no where so sorry if it's really random… ah well :) **

**Just think everyone who doesn't have twitter should know that Lea posted this tweet…**

Look who's baaack... :) /89w3pQe

**I seriously hope you guys can see that link XD So, I gather that the whole St Berry bubble just kind of exploded- I was in the middle of an airport and had a bit of a freak out… It was a little embarrassing. **

**For this chapters reviews and last chapter, I need to thank: TVHollywoodDiva, lynn, Faith, nanuvamp, northstar61, cutemary102, MissRe, kimi-hime-chan, silver starlight serpent, Vienna, mebelucy, tmd092, loveisalifteimeproject, Dreaming Away Peacefully, Tpigyc, theguiltyones and Bexia**

**An extra specicial shout out to you guys who review every chapter, it means so much to me! I would try and name you but I'd be worried about missing someone out. So just know how grateful I am :)**

**I just spent all day watching the Royal Wedding between Kate and Wills, I'm British so I feel very patriotic, which is a pretty darn good feeling :) Kate's dress was beautiful and the whole affair was just so wonderful… I must admit to tearing up a little. The best bit is how in love they are, it's really sweet. I must admit to not really being big on royalty (blame my father) but this was really nice and I really enjoyed watching. It's kind of nice this having a monarchy thing. :)**

**I don't know how big it was in the US…? I know some of you guys were really excitedand it was shown on TV. Anyway, anyone from the UK will know that the whole of London just stopped and there was nothing but the Royal Wedding is on the TV and the radio. It's actually pretty good, and we got a day off and all. Pretty awesome. **

**ANYWAY sorry for boring y'all there. ***_**sheepish gaze**_*** **

**I just heard about the terrible tornado(s?) in the US. My prayers go out to anyone suffering the effects and please know that my thoughts are with you. **

_**So **_**after all of these extremely un-Glee related topics let's talk about the last glee episode. I think it was fabulous, superb, amazing. I loved all of the numbers, especially 'I Feel Pretty UnPretty', 'Born This Way', 'Barbra Striesand' and 'As if We Never Said Goodbye'. So… effectively all of them. **

**Sorry for the extremely long and dull A.N…**

**Reviews are like gold dust. 8 or 9?**

**Love, **_**as always**_**!**

**Ray **

**xxxx**


	18. Chapter 17

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

The silence seemed to stretch out as Miss Clarkson stared at her, her eyes cutting through Rachel like the blades of a knife. Her last words seemed to reverberate through the room and you could have cut the tension with a knife.

When Miss Clarkson finally spoke Rachel shivered at the tone of her voice, harsh and angry and downright dangerous.

"What secret would that be?"

Rachel tried to keep her voice strong as she answered. "That you steal clubs' budgets, that your not really a teacher." The woman before her seemed unfazed and Rachel added, her voice tinged with desperation. "I'll tell Principle Figgins."

"No you won't." A smug smile ran across her face and Rachel felt her stomach twist.

"I will." Her voice wavered slightly.

"No you won't," She repeated and took a step towards her, graceful and lithe, like an animal stalking its prey and Rachel staggered backwards, away from her. "Not if you want to keep _your_ little secret."

"W-Which secret?" Rachel stumbled over her words, the confidence she once had ebbing away quickly. There was no way she could know, was there?

"Oh, don't play dumb with me." She scorned her impatiently. "Looking at you, I'd say you were about three months or so, am I right?"

Rachel didn't reply, watching her with wide eyes.

"It's obvious, really, to the trained eye. It's in everything you do, the way you move, the way you speak, even the way you stand." Rachel dropped her hands from her stomach hurriedly and Miss Clarkson gave a hard, cruel laugh. "So if I were you, Miss Berry, I would keep your opinions and your secrets to yourself, understand?" She moved towards Rachel again until she was stood little more than a hairs breath away from her. "Or else my tongue might just _slip_." Rachel's breathing hitched into a terrified gasp as Miss Clarkson's hand brushed across her stomach lightly.

Seeing the pale pallor wash over Rachel's face, she smiled triumphantly and took a few steps away, and saying, in a falsely sweet voice. "You have a nice day now Rachel."

Turning on her heel she strode from the room, her stilettos clicking, her hair swishing.

Rachel finally let her breath out, stumbling backwards and clutching at a table top to keep herself upright. The woman had touched her stomach. No one but her, Jesse and her dads had touched her stomach before. It made her shiver just to think of it and she pulled up her sweater, inspecting her stomach closely, as if worried that Miss Clarkson had left some outward sign of her threat. There was nothing but the smooth, pale skin of her stomach.

Sighing, Rachel let herself relax and found, with horror, that her legs were trembling. Slowly she sat down, unwilling to fall and brought her knees up, clutching them towards her and burying her face in them.

She was trembling all over now, fear making her shiver, a cold sweat forming on her forehead and her teeth chattering together. She wished feverishly that Jesse was there, to hold her in his arms. She almost reached for her cell, to call him, but stopped when she thought of how he would react. He would come straight down here, most likely furious. He would probably loose his home, because his parents would be mad. Then he'd probably do something he would regret to Miss Clarkson and get expelled. And then he'd loose his scholarship to UCLA and be stuck in Ohio forever. She wouldn't wish that on anyone.

So she pocketed her phone and took another deep breath, trying to calm herself. She felt strangely violated, which was odd, and yet she understood it. That in there was _her_ baby, it was _her_ child.

"Rachel?"

Rachel looked up, rested her chin on her knees and peeking up through wide eyes to see Quinn stood in the doorway. Quinn took the few strides towards her quickly, kneeling down next to her and pulling her into a hug. Rachel clung to the ex-cheerleader and shook convulsively as Quinn ran a gentle hand up and down her back.

When the shaking finally halted she pulled away and looked up at Quinn.

"What happened?" The blonde asked gently, taking her hands and clasping them with her own.

Rachel just shook her head, her breathing hitching again.

"Should I get Jesse? Finn?"

Rachel shook her head more vigorously this time.

"Well you'd better tell me, because if you don't I'm going to go and get someone."

Straightening up Rachel looked her straight in the eyes and said, softly. "Swear you won't repeat this."

Quinn's eyes narrowed and she answered, "That depends what you tell me."

Rachel opened her mouth to try again, but spotted the resolve in Quinn's eyes and realised that that was the best she was going to get.

"I was just threatened."

Quinn gasped, one delicate hand flying up to cover her mouth.

"By who?" She whispered.

"Miss Clarkson." Rachel replied, looking down again.

Despite not looking at her Rachel could hear the doubt in Quinn's voice when she asked. "Are you sure Rachel? Are you sure you didn't just get confused?"

"I'm sure!" Rachel snapped and then shook her head. "Sorry, but she… she threatened telling everyone about the baby if I didn't keep my moth shut and then she…" Rachel's breathing caught again and she ran a gentle hand over her stomach. "She touched my stomach."

Quinn placed a comforting hand over Rachel's, her eyes troubled. "What are you hiding for her?"

Rachel glanced away and Quinn said, quickly. "I won't say anything."

"She steals the budgets from Glee clubs where she teaches as a substitute, it's happened all over Ohio, look!" Rachel shoved the papers, which she had had clutched in her hand, into Quinn's.

Quinn read them over quickly, her eyes scanning across the paper in a quick movement. When she finally looked up, her eyes sparked with sudden anger.

"You have to tell someone."

"I can't!" Rachel reached up to grab the papers from her hand, but Quinn was taller and held them out of her reach.

"Then I will; you can't let this happen Rachel!"

"No!" Rachel made another grab for the papers, failing once more. "She'll know it was me and then she'll tell everyone."

"We'll get there first."

"It won't matter," Rachel slumped down again, making no more attempts for the pages in Quinn's hands. Looking up at the cheerleader she said, her voice hushed and desolate. "Please Quinn?"

Quinn sighed, defeated just by the slump of Rachel's shoulders. She handed the papers to Rachel and fixed her with a hard gaze. "You have to do something Rachel."

"I will," Rachel answered, folding the papers up in her palm.

"You'd better." Quinn turned so quickly that her blonde curtain of hair spun, like a commercial for shampoo as she marched, with as much elegance and efficiency as a pregnant girl could, from the room, leaving Rachel alone.

She would sort it, Rachel decided. But not now, she'd think about it tonight, when she was calmer and less shaky, less emotional.

**Xxx**

When Rachel arrived at the choir room the audience that met her was unsurprising. The door was shut and Miss Clarkson was stood outside in the deserted corridor, her arms crossed, apparently waiting for her.

"What can I do for you Rachel?" She sounded almost amused.

"I'm here for Glee practice." Rachel made one last stand, hoping against hope that Miss Clarkson would have changed her mind.

"Well, you aren't in Glee Rachel."

"I am." Rachel replied, adamantly.

"No you aren't, need I remind you of our earlier exchange?" She took a step forward and Rachel cringed instinctively away.

"I thought not." Miss Clarkson laughed; one sharp bark of laughter that set Rachel's teeth on edge.

"Get out of here Rachel." Her eyes gleamed, almost manically. "You're finished, washed up."

Turning, Rachel scrambled from the school, tears stinging her eyes and all the courage she once had draining away.

**Xxx**

It was most obvious to the Glee club that they were missing one of their number. Mainly because that number was normally so loud it was hard to miss her.

"Has anyone seen Rachel?" Quinn glanced over at Puck, who shrugged his shoulders.

"I haven't seen her."

Finn glanced around. It was seriously weird of Rachel to be late, she was never late. He had kind of been counting on her to be here, the group needed her and that, you know. But Finn had also wanted to make his move. He knew Jesse was out of the picture and he hadn't been able to try and talk to her at the lunch time rehearsal 'cause she just like, bolted, from the room.

"Where _is_ Rachel?"

"Rachel's not part of this group any more." Miss Clarkson's voice silenced the speculations around the room and every student turned to face her.

"What d' you mean she isn't part of this group, isn't she like, the founder or something?" Puck frowned.

Mercedes rolled her eyes.

"Rachel was not meshing well with this team and we do not need her, so I politely excused her from her Glee Club duties. Right," She turned and started handing out sheet music and barking out instructions.

The Glee club glanced warily at each other. If Rachel, one of the most talented singers of the group, had been kicked out, what chance did they stand?

**Xxx**

Jesse arrived back at William McKinley High School just as the lunch bell went. He was glad to be back, away from the scathing looks and comments he got whenever he was with his family.

The sight of a new teacher in the choir room did not surprise him; he knew that Mr Shue was away. However, the absence of his girlfriend, who he readily looked for and the unusual hush that was settled over the room made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

"Excuse me, can I help you?" The woman at the font turned to him, her expression irritated. "This is a closed rehearsal."

"It's good that I'm part of this group then." Jesse answered flippantly and took a few confident strides in her direction. "I'm Jesse St James."

"Ah," Comprehension dawned on her and he could only presume that he had been mentioned. "The infamous Jesse St James, well then, you'd better sit down."

He strode to his usual seat and sat easily, a frown marring his brow when he noted Rachel's absence once more.

"Where's Rachel?" He turned to look at the club in general, glancing from face to face.

"Dude," Puck leaned forward, towards him. "Didn't you hear? She got kicked out."

"What?" Jesse's voice rose a few decibels and Miss Clarkson turned to look at them again.

"Mr St James, is there a problem?"

"There is actually." Jesse rose to his feet, a scowl on his face. "I have just been informed that Rachel Berry has been kicked out of this Glee club and I want to ask you, _what the hell do you think you're doing?_"

Miss Clarkson began to reply, but, to the entire club's astonishment, Jesse cut through her.

"That girl is one of the most talented singers and performers I've ever met, she is an essential key to this club's success so I'm desperately hoping that you have a good reason for this."

"Rachel was not meshing with the rest of the club." Miss Clarkson replied coolly.

"Not meshing," Jesse repeated, scoffing. "She's meshed perfectly fine up until now, she practically founded this club!"

"I told you," Puck muttered behind him but Jesse took no notice.

"If you wish to join Rachel, you're welcome to."

"I will not quit this club, but I will go and find Rachel, this is…" He struggled for words, before finally settling for. "An abomination!"

With that, he marched from the room and through the school, combing through it until he found Rachel in the Auditorium. She was stood on the stage, singing, tears pouring down her face.

He wasted no time in running down the steps as her voice reverberated through the room.

"_I had to let it happen, I had to change…_"

With her eyes closed, she didn't see him as he went to her, gathering her up in his arms and holding her to him as she sobbed, her voice breaking off. She sobbed into his shoulder and, as she clung to him, he could feel the salty warmth of her tears soaking through his shirt.

"Jesse," She murmured as her tears finally subsided.

"I'm here," He whispered the soothing words in her ear, stroking her back gently as she clutched him.

"T-They kicked me out." She explained, through her sobs.

He shushed her softly. "I know, I know."

"Because I found something, Jesse I found out about her." It took him a moment to realise that she was pushing him away and the second he understood what she wanted, he let his arms fall away from her.

She stumbled a little and dug through her bag, pulling out a set of crumpled papers and shoving them into his hands. He scanned through it, his eyes narrowing. Looking up at her, he said, slowly. "You have to tell someone, we have to tell the Principle."

"I tried," Rachel cried, her voice breaking with sobs again. "But she found out, she…" Rachel broke off quickly, glancing away.

Jesse's skin prickled. There was something more to this. "Rachel?" She didn't move, refusing the answer and he took a step forward, cupping her chin and pulling her gently to face him. "What happened?"

Rachel shook her head.

"Tell me," Her pulled her flush with his body, his body curved protectively over hers, hoping that this would make her feel better; feel safe.

"She threatened me." Her voice was so quiet that Jesse would have missed it had he not been listening so hard. He felt the anger flare through him, making him momentarily speechless. He tried to push the anger down, asking, as gently as he could.

"What do you mean?"

"She knew about… about the baby," Rachel cupped her stomach protectively, a single tear escaping a trailing slowly down the mountains and plains of her face as she added. "She touched my stomach."

Jesse tightened his hold on her, feeling her tremble lightly and tried to soften the set of his jaw, barely succeeding.

"Come on," Gently he pulled her from the room and down the crowded corridors until they reached the Principle's office. Slamming into the room he completely by-passed Mrs Goodrich, ignoring her feeble protests and Rachel's cried dispute and heading into Figgins' office.

The man seemed alarmed to find that the two most dramatic students in his school had just arrived, unannounced in his office, whilst he was clearly half-way through an onion barge.

"Uh, Mr St James, Miss Berry," He greeted them hurriedly, in his thickly accented voice, pushing his barge under a pile of papers. "What can I do for you?"

"We would like to inform you, that your substitute, Miss Clarkson, is a fraud. Here," Jesse tossed the papers Rachel had given him onto the desk, knocking off a pile of files. He was too furious to care.

Figgins took the papers in his hands, reading them quickly, his eyes widening as he flicked through the pile.

"I would also like to report," Jesse continued, not allowing him time to comment. "That the teacher in question also threatened my girlfriend. After she learnt of Rachel's discovery she threatened to tell the school of Rachel's situation."

Figgins looked up at them, considering. "Is this true, Miss Berry?" He turned to Rachel.

"Yes," Jesse heard Rachel reply from in his arms. "Yes, she threatened me yesterday, after I came to try and talk to you."

Jesse pulled her closer and held her as Figgins went through the formalities of making sure their story was valid, until finally he turned to where they had seated themselves in the corner of his office and saying, his voice unusually soft.

"You can go now Mr St James, Miss Berry. Miss Clarkson will be gone by tomorrow and if you have anything else you need to talk about, come straight to me or Miss Pilsburry."

Jesse nodded for the both of them, clambering up and keeping his arms around Rachel as they went out to his car, ignoring Rachel's.

"Let's go home."

**Xxx**

**Anyone else love protective Jesse?**

**Yeah, me too. More to come of that an' all. Tehe :) **

**Due to the INCREDIBLE response I got for that chapter I'm giving you guys a quick update, not as long as a result though I'm afraid. :(**

**Thank you to: Just me, Breath In Butterfly, TVHollywoodDiva, klainbrittanalove, cutemary102, lynn, nanuvamp, MissRe, tmd092, northstar61, MissD0rk3y, Slightly Wicked, mebelucy and Missbroadwayboundfanfic- you guys make my day- no joke. **

**Okay, so maybe nine reviews? **

**Love you guys!**

**Ray**

**xxx**


	19. Chapter 18

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

By the next Glee rehearsal Miss Clarkson had gone. The group sat around, talking and laughing between themselves, Jesse's arm strewn over Rachel shoulder, the boy himself watching her as she conversed casually with Quinn.

"Hi guys," They went quiet as Miss Pillsbury, the school's guidance counsellor trotted in. She reminded Jesse of a small, rather frightened animal. Her thin face was framed by red hair, her eyes some of the largest Jesse had ever seen. It was common knowledge that she and Mr Shue were together, although Rachel had informed him that it had taken them a long time to get their act together.

"So, I hear you need to get your Regionals set list together?" Miss Pillsbury stood at the front of the room, looking a little nervous.

The group nodded their encouragement and she continued. "So, you need a ballad and two other songs yeah?"

"Yeah," Mercedes nodded.

"I would be happy to offer a ballad," Rachel stepped forward, smiling widely.

"What, no way!" Mercedes stood up quickly, her chair legs scraping angrily against the floor. "You got the ballad at Sectionals."

"That was hardly _my fault_," Rachel cast her a scathing glance.

"You always get the solos."

"It's called using your strongest players Mercedes."

"Okay, okay," Miss Pillsbury held her hands out, stopping whatever cat fight was about to escalate. "I mean, Rachel did an excellent job at Sectionals with the ballad, so maybe she could do it again this time? And Mercedes, you _were_ meant to do the ballad at Sectionals, so maybe you could take lead on one of the other songs?"

There was a long silence and then Mercedes said, unwillingly. "Yeah, I suppose so."

She sat slowly and Rachel turned back to the front.

After waiting for a moment to let the tension in the room dissolve Miss Pillsbury turned to Rachel. "Any ideas for your ballad Rachel?"

"Actually," Rachel smiled her award winning smile. "I think I'm going to do a duet, with Jesse." Turning she took his hand in hers and smiled at him, ignoring the sighs and rolled eyes behind her.

"Really?" Miss Pillsbury turned to look at Jesse and he nodded.

"We'll be ready to perform by tomorrow," Rachel promised.

Miss Pillsbury just nodded and as she turned to talk to the rest of the group Jesse pulled Rachel closer and whispered in her ear.

"What?"

She smiled at him, her eyes, normally so expressive, filled with a strange excitement and her smile deceptive. "Trust me." She murmured and kissed him quickly.

**Xxx**

By the time Mr Shue got back the Glee Club had most of their Sectionals set list ready. He was told only the bare details of what had happened and it was left that way. No one particular wanted to bring back those bad memories. Instead they focused all of their efforts on moving forward.

Specifically- Regionals.

In the end the group had decided that they would have Rachel and Jesse take the ballad and have them lead on one of their numbers, whilst Mercedes led the other number. This placated both divas and made sure that each party left unscathed.

With the numbers decided on, the group set about preparing for Regionals. They were so busy that it seemed Rachel and Jesse didn't get two moments together, unless to rehearse their numbers and even then, they were barely ever alone. Almost always there would be someone there, attempting (and failing) to find a way to improve their numbers.

It seemed only days, not weeks, when Rachel was stood in the girl's bathrooms at Regionals with the rest of New Directions, pulling her hair back and brushing through it with her pink hairbrush.

She had to admit she was pleased with their Regionals outfit- although she had forced Mr Shue to go back on the bee-hive idea. The dresses were simple and she took his use of the colour gold as a personal tribute- everyone knew gold stars were her thing. She had enjoyed twirling around, privately of course and feeling the layers of black lace under the skirt fan out around her.

Turning, she looked around the girls of New Directions, smiling a little at Quinn, who was cupping her baby bump as she talked to Mercedes and Quinn smiled back, before nodding at something Mercedes had said. Glancing away from her, Rachel frowned when she noticed a flash of pink amongst the sea of gold. Of course, the Vocal Adrenaline girls were changing too- that was to be expected- but they had mostly kept to their end of the bathroom- resorting to casting a few nasty glances and snide comments their way.

But this Vocal Adrenaline girl, pushing her way past Santana, who snapped at her, and Tina, was strikingly obvious in her hot pink and black dress, seemed to be staring right at Rachel. Rachel frowned, straightening her shoulders as she watched the girl approach her.

She was taller than her, of course, but Rachel could see nothing that would distinguish her from the rest of the robots in pink dresses, except her tightly curled brown hair.

"So," Her drawling voice was cruel and loud, catching the attention of the rest of the room immediately. "You're her."

Rachel stood taller, frowning a little. "Yes, I suppose I am."

"Jesse's _girlfriend_." The girl continued to talk and some of her team mates sniggered.

"What's it to you?" Santana asked, scowling, obviously still stung by the shove she had had earlier.

The girl cast her a withering glance, before turning back to Rachel. "Just thought you should know," She had an irritating smile on her face, as if she was telling a joke and withholding the punch line. "Have you put out yet? You must be good to keep him for so long."

A ripple of laughter ran through her team mates once again and Rachel felt herself flush, even as she said.

"What makes you think that's any of your business?"

The girl looked her up and down again. "You don't look like you would be any good."

Rachel raised an eyebrow, stung. "Again, what's it to you?"

The girl shrugged, a malicious smirk dancing on her lips as she said. "Just thought you should know," She repeated. "Jesse's a fast and loose kind of guy. He's made out with most of us." She cast a hand to indicate to the rest of her group and then leant forwards towards Rachel, dropping her voice a little.

"And he's done a hell of a lot more with some of us. Me included." She smiled nastily as she saw Rachel whiten a little. "And let me tell you little girl. He's _good_."

Standing back again, her work done now, she moved back to her group, glancing up at the clock and saying with faux sweetness. "Oh, you guys had better get going, you're on soon. Good luck." Her voice dropped back to a rough growl. "You'll sure need it."

As Rachel hurried from the bathroom, she could hear their cackling behind her, echoing in her head.

Xxx

Surprisingly, it took Jesse a few minutes to notice something was wrong with Rachel. Strangely unperceptive, he broke out into a grin when she walked out into the corridor, opening his arms and embracing her gently, careful not to crush her costume.

"You look absolutely stunning," He told her earnestly, cupping her face in his hands and pulling her in for a gentle kiss, before moving away. His expression crumpled as he looked at her, slumping into a frown as he took in the pain in her eyes, the strange expression of hurt shock that covered her face.

"What's wrong?"

She just shook her head, glancing at the Glee Club, all of whom were watching the couple from the corner of their eyes, even as they continued loud conversations.

She took his hand, pulling him away and into an outer corridor, before turning to him again. He was shocked to see the tears that were glistening in her eyes.

"Rache?" He was more agitated now.

"There were some Vocal Adrenaline girls in the bathroom." She wrapped her arms around herself, her voice unusually quiet. "They were saying some things…"

"Well whatever it was, you can't believe them," He pulled her in for a gentle hug and she placed her hands on his chest, enjoying the feeling of warmth beneath her as he continued. "They just say things to get a rise out of their competition, they've always done it."

She swallowed and glanced up at him, her stomach knotting as she asked, dreading the answer "So you didn't sleep with and or make out with most of Vocal Adrenaline?"

He stiffened, looking down at her and then sighed heavily. "I guess you have a rite to know," He murmured and pushed her away a little, keeping his arms around her.

"Yeah," She nodded her agreement.

"When I was in Vocal Adrenaline, I made out with a few girls… went a bit further with others but… by my third year, I was looking for something more. You."

She looked up at him, frowning a little. "Really? You don't just want to get into my pants?"

His expression twisted as he answered, aghast. "_Of course not." _She glanced away and he took hold of her chin, directing her gaze up to him. "Did they tell you that?"

She shrugged. "Not in so many words." Her mumble was staggered, awkward and he could see her flushing.

"Rachel, look at me." She met his eyes slowly and he tried his best to push all of his emotion into his next words, swallowing a little against his dry mouth. It was like the moment before he went on stage and in a way it was- he had to impress Rachel now- make sure she knew that he spoke the truth. "I promise you, that that is not what I want from you. _Really_. You're my girlfriend, but you're my best friend too. I would never do that to you. I love you so much, so much more than you could ever comprehend. I love you, not for virginity, but for the way that you randomly quote musicals to me. I love you because you see me, like really see me and understand everything that I want. I love you for your incredible voice and your indescribable personality. I love the way that you can make everything link back to musicals and I love the way that you have to make sure the curtains are completely closed before you can go to sleep. I love how you go all gooey whenever you see baby animals on the TV. I love how you kind of stalk your favourite Broadway performers. I love how you check the mail all day when you're waiting for a parcel, even when the mail has already come! I love your bravery and your strength and I admire you _so much_. I love you for _you_ Rache. Nothing else."

His breath caught in his throat as he watched her, waiting for her response. She seemed lost in her thoughts for a moment, before leaning up on her tiptoes to kiss him firmly, wrapping him in a close embrace as her lips crushed against his, her hands sending sparks up and down his arms as he trailed a hand down her back. His thoughts were jumbled as she pressed herself close to him, her warm body colliding with his and when he felt heat pool within him he pushed her away, gasping for breath as he leant upon her.

"I'm guessing you're forgiving me- unless that was a break up kiss. If so I should break up with you more often."

She slapped him lightly on the chest and laughed a little. "Yes, I forgive you."

He pulled away and looked at her warily. "Are you sure, I could grovel if you want, get down on my knees?"

"No," She laughed, shaking her head. "I'm sure."

"That was… remarkably easy. You didn't seem to take much persuading Berry?"

She shrugged as they started walking back towards their Glee team mates, his arm around her shoulders and both of hers wrapped possessively around his waist.

"I suppose," Her voice was soft. "I suppose I just know I can trust you."

He hadn't felt so happy in a long time.

Xxx

Waiting at this curtain was starting to become a bit of a habit, Rachel mused to herself, fingering the cloth of her dress as she stared at the re velvet that hung before her eyes.

At least this time, she felt a lot more composed than she had done last time. And a whole lot more prepared. Almost unconsciously she felt her hands slip down to her stomach and flexed them, shaking them out and away. She needed to try and stop doing that. If she did it on stage, it would be blindingly obvious.

A shock ran through her as she heard the announcer call. "Please give a big hand for McKinley High's New Directions."

The familiar notes played out and she pushed away the nerves that fluttered in her stomach, trying to breathe deeply, despite the constriction she could feel in her chest.

_Come on Berry, breathe. Channel Idina._

Then, his voice, so sure and strong, even from the back of the room she could hear him and she was calm again, her breathing settling into a more familiar, relaxed rhythm. This was easy, natural. They could do this.

Slipping from the curtain as he sang, she zeroed in on him immediately. He sat on stage, a little off centre, playing a grand, white piano, his gaze up, fixing the room with a deep, meaningful stare, even as he continued to play. He looked completely and utterly beautiful, a spotlight trained on him as he sang, his hands dancing across the keys with the skill of a magician.

Rachel recognised her cue, and began to sing, harmonising perfectly as the people around her tearing their avid gazing from Jesse to watch her make her way down the aisle. Her eyes, however, were trained on him, watching as his gaze met hers and his face transformed, seeming to be aglow with light from the inside outwards. Sliding around the corner she advanced towards him, her heart skipping a beat, so that she barely noticed the dark haired woman who watched her intently, her gaze thoughtful as she seemed to evaluate every move Rachel made.

Her gaze stuck with his as she continued to sing, weaving her way seamlessly between the aisles full of silent spectators and up the short flight of steps to meet him. He stood to meet her, the live band picking up his slack easily.

She sang through the trilling notes as he reached out for her and allowed him to pull her closer, leading her into the centre of the stage and tucking her hair behind her ear as he sang.

"_I long to see the sunlight in your hair."_

She smiled, her own hand cupping his face gently as she sang, her gaze fixed on him, unable to look away.

"_And tell you time and time again how much I care_,"

The song continued and Rachel felt a thrill as the music began to increase, the tempo and volume shifting as the tune soared around them and Jesse twirled Rachel out from where he stood, his eyes dancing as she smiled, circling back towards him and letting him wrap her in an embrace

The music dimmed as he turned her so that she was facing him, her arms around his neck as they stared into each others eyes and the music fell silent for a moment behind them. Together, almost instinctively, they sang.

"_I love you_,"

The music trailed to a complete halt behind them and a thunderous applause broke out around them, the audience on its feet in seconds, cheering loudly. But for once the pair didn't notice, both too busy wrapped in each others embrace, trying to remember how to breathe and fight the urge to be closer, to press their lips together in a kiss that seemed inevitable.

The rising of the curtain behind them seemed to snap them from their reverie and they turned, holding each other's hands for as long as they could, before reluctantly parting to join the rest of their group as Mercedes led them on a flashy performance of _Hate on Me_.

Then it was their turn again and Rachel smiled as the acapellas sounded behind her.

This she knew.

This she could do.

Jesse's voice, smooth and perfect, came through then, singing beside her and she smiled at him, taking a pace forward as she sang, letting the notes blast out through the auditorium, the pleasure bringing a smile to her face as she moved forward to stand next to him and take his hand, joining in easily with the acapella as they turned to watch Puck and Santana sing together.

The rest of the group moved to form a line around them, all beaming huge smiles and the moment Puck and Santana were waiting, Rachel turned to start singing again, this time with Artie, who had wheeled himself to come up on her other side.

The group continued to sing, dancing effortlessly, weaving in and out of one another, broad smiles covering their faces until finally they came to the last chorus and they were stood once again in a line, Rachel's hand holding Jesse's tightly as she felt the familiar thrill, listening to their voices rise and twist together, the whole group, singing as one. Mercedes voice rose up above theirs, providing a beautiful serenade that complimented them beautifully. Rachel felt emotion swim through her as her voice rose and they stepped forward together, Jesse's hand clutching hers more tightly as they sang, their words triumphant.

"_Don't stop!"_

**Xxx**

**I left this way too long. (Looks away completely ashamed) Please forgive me, I was writing my prom story! (shameless plug) ;)**

**Okay, so here I am, again. I'm just recovering from the joy induced coma that I fell into after the airing of the prom episode. But I'm okay now. How amazing was it? Yes, I know, very. Jesse's entrance was great- very St James. Rolling in the Deep was wonderful (another St Berry song would be WONDERFUL… **_**hinthint**_**) And yeah Finn, you can go throw yourself in a hole okay, it is so not your place to be talking to Jesse like that, or ordering Rachel around… argh. Jesse dealt with it well though to be fair. "The ghost of Grace Kelly…" And I was so happy when he and Rachel were dancing, it made my day! And yes Finn, Jar of Hearts was directed towards you- so just back off Jesse's girl, okay? I feel sorry for poor old Quinn, having to play second fiddle. Anyway then Rachel and Jesse dancing during Friday and him kissing her neck- I squealed- and then Finn has to barge in and ruin it! BACK OFF FINN! Yeah… it made me angry. I was sat there screaming at the screen like… 'Oh my God, you pushed Jesse!"… jerk. **

**So… yeah… I enjoyed the episode. **

**;)**

**Alrighty then… maybe nine or ten reviews before an update? :) I;m so excited to get over 200 for this story, it will actually make me so happy!**

**Thank you to: lynn, Kkaty, xxIamAGleekandILovePuckxxx, loveisalifetimeproject, MidnightMoon2, UnsuspectingSundayAfternoon, tmd092, Just me, nanuvamp, cutemary102, Missbroadwayboundfanfic, klainbrittanalove, northstar61, TVHollywoodDiva, MissD0rk3y, MissRe and Magna Parva, for reviewing the last chapter! **

**Love guys lots!**

**Ray **

**xxx**


	20. Chapter 19

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

Jesse found Rachel leaning at the doorway to the auditorium, watching Vocal Adrenaline perform. He stood behind her for a while, slipping his arms around her waist and hugging her gently, watching too. Their performance was, as always, perfect. The costumes were spectacular as they sang and he noted that his understudy, Adrian Reams had replaced him as the male lead. He was good, but no where near as good as Jesse.

One of his biggest criticisms during his time at Vocal Adrenaline had always been that he was too robotic. Personally, he had never really understood what they meant. He had laughed it off, coming back with a deliberately cutting comment, always supported by a group of 'friends' who would laugh at all the right moments.

Now, looking at it from an outsiders' point of view, he understood. The group _were_ too robotic. Their show faces were too stiff, too constant, it was almost unnerving. He never felt the thrill he had felt performing with New Directions, at Vocal Adrenaline. It was always work. Shelby pushed them so hard there was no time to enjoy it, or revel in the feeling of performance. At Vocal Adrenaline you always had to be on your guard, always ready. The competition for the top spot was fierce and your so called friends wouldn't bother to betray you if they noticed you flagging. So he had gritted his teeth and slowly forgotten how he used to enjoy performing, focusing all his attention on keeping his place.

Now, it was all different.

Watching them again, a question occurred to him and he leant forward to ask softly in Rachel's ear.

"Which one was it?"

She was silent for a long moment, before murmuring in return.

"The one with curly hair."

His gaze zeroed in on Giselle immediately and he watched as she danced, her body moving in ways that some of the kids in New Directions could only dream of.

"She likes to get a rise out of people. She was probably just over-reacting."

Rachel nodded and he could tell that she wanted to drop the subject, so just hugged her closer, resting his chin atop her head.

When the number finished he felt Rachel sigh heavily and pull away from him, he took her hand gently and she hooked his arm with hers as they walked down the corridor to in the rest of New Direction in the foyer.

"They were good," Rachel spoke quietly and he looked over to see her teeth worrying her bottom lip. It would do no good to lie to her right now. To tell her that they weren't. Of course they performed well, they were Vocal Adrenaline.

"So were we." He comforted and she looked up at him, still worried.

"But who did better?"

He shrugged, unable to answer her question. The group were gathered in and around a huddle of armchairs, ignoring their other rival group, (although Jesse doubted they could be classified as competition, they were completely awful), _Oral Intensity. _The adrenaline from their earlier performance had obviously worn off as they listened to Vocal Adrenaline's voice flow through from the auditorium.

"They didn't trip or anything did they?" Mercedes asked hopefully as the club turned in unison to look at them.

"No," Rachel replied, and he watched as she fixed her show face on. "But they weren't that great either- I mean they were so stiff and robotic…"

A few members cast her disgruntled glances, but the rest just sighed and went back to earlier conversation.

Rachel sighed too, leaning against Jesse and he put his arm around her shoulders, rubbing them softly.

A cluster of loud, confident voices broke the relative silence and everyone looked up to see Vocal Adrenaline, in their pink dresses and pink shirts, pile into the foyer, giving New Directions arrogant glances as they passed.

A small boy with light, sandy coloured hair separated from the group and moved over slowly, watching the group warily as he moved towards Jesse.

"Hey Jesse," His voice was strangely gentle, unobtrusive as he smiled up at the older boy.

"Hi Sam." Jesse sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Bad time?" The boy asked, casting a quick glance behind Jesse to the group, who stood looking at him with mixtures of curiosity and anger.

"No, no, I haven't seen you in ages, how are you doing?" Jesse leant back on the arm chair, smiling a little as he pulled Rachel closer to him.

"I-I'm good…" His eyes had drifted to Rachel and she looked back at him steadily.

"Oh, forgive me," Jesse noticed their exchange and stepped in immediately. "Rachel, this is Sam Carmack, a protégé of mine," The pride in his voice escalated. "Sam, this is Rachel Berry, my girlfriend and future star."

Rachel smiled a little, going forward to shake the boys' hand, saying. "Rachel Barbra Berry."

"Hey," He smiled in return.

Rachel raised her eyebrow, looking up at Jesse. "A protégé of yours?" She repeated.

"Yes," Jesse's chest puffed out a little and he tried to hide his smile. "Sam and I first met at his last Middle School Sectionals, I told him about Carmel and helped him train so that when he got into Carmel, he's be guaranteed a place in Vocal Adrenaline."

"Are you creating a successor Jesse?" Humour danced in her eyes as she looked up at him.

"Perhaps," He shrugged, smiling a little and turning back to Sam.

He opened his mouth to speak to Sam, but before he could say anything an unwanted voice drawled from behind Sam.

"The great Jesse St James," Rachel felt Jesse sigh heavily and turned with him to face a sneering Adrian, who looked them up and down. "You've fallen."

Jesse shook his head, his expression twisted with disgust. "Get out of here Adrian."

"Now, now," His voice took on a horrible, mocking tone. "Is that anyway to speak to your deputy- except, wait, I suppose I'm not any more."

"There's a reason you were always only the _deputy_ Adrian, it's because I'm better than you." Jesse's disgust didn't fade and Rachel felt him tighten his hold on her fractionally.

"But even the mighty can fall, and you've fallen big time St James." He glanced back at New Directions, some of whom were watching the scene unfold.

"What's that supposed to mean Ream?"

"It means that you've left _Carmel_, left Vocal Adrenaline, for this lot… Never had you down for a quitter St James… or a martyr."

"Oh I'm not quitter," Jesse shot back.

"Believe me, he isn't." Rachel put in, her eyes narrowing as the boys' gaze slid to her.

"Ah, wait, let me guess. Rachel Berry. It's a pleasure to meet you in person finally." He held his hand out for her to shake and she took it, giving him one hard shake before dropping his hand like it was burning her and replying frostily.

"The pleasure is all yours."

Adrian frowned a little, before turning his attention back to Jesse. "So I'm presuming this is why you transferred," He cast a slightly revolted look at Rachel. "To get into her pants. Seriously Jesse, there are some far nicer chicks at Carmel and I'm sure Shelby would let you back in… in the chorus only, of course."

Jesse's precious patience snapped and he lunged forward towards Adrian, only about half a metre away when Sam caught his arm, jerking him backwards. Rachel stepped forward to grab his hand, calling out to him as the members of New Directions converged upon them, Matt and Puck joining Sam in pulling Jesse away, as Quinn came to stand beside Rachel and Mercedes beside Quinn.

"Jesse!" Rachel frowned when she heard Kurt's voice, puzzled at the edge she heard there, but pushed the thoughts from her mind as she pushed her way through, pulling Jesse close to her, whispering in his ear.

"He's not worth it Jesse,"

"Oh he is," Jesse all but growled. "I promise you he is."

The members of Vocal Adrenaline had joined them now, a flurry of pink as they moved to stand behind Adrian, looking like some kind of floral army.

Rachel cringed as she heard the familiar, trilling voice.

"Now, now, I'm sure we can sort this like gentlemen, can't we?" Giselle moved to stand beside Adrian, leaning her head on his shoulder, her eyes fiery, excited by the sudden stand off.

Jesse scowled at her, but pulled his arms from Matt and Puck's grasp and pulled Rachel into a tight hug, kissing the top of her head protectively. Turning around a little, but keeping her in his arms, he spat.

"Get out of here, before I do something I won't regret."

"Until you loose then, St James." Adrian smirked and turned, gesturing to the rest of the group, who followed him slowly.

"Touché." Giselle smirked. "Remember St James, if you ever need some _real_ action, I'm always here."

This time Rachel lunged forward, but was caught in Jesse's arms as he pulled her closer still.

Slowly New Directions moved back to their original places, talking in hurried whispers. Rachel thought that she distinctly heard Puck say. "Damn, coulda used an excuse to punch the punk, Adrian's, face in."

Kurt appeared suddenly at their side, making Rachel jump and turn to look at him, shocked, as he asked, gasping a little. "Are you okay Jesse?"

"I'm fine Kurt, thank you for your concern." Jesse replied, sharing a fast, confused look with Rachel.

"Oh, okay, cool." Turning suddenly, Kurt hurried away and Rachel frowned a little. Jesse leant forward and rested his forehead lightly against hers.

"Are you okay?" She asked again, concern touching her words this time.

"I'm fine," He replied, his spearmint breath brushing lightly across her face. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," She parroted in a light sigh, before giving in to her urges and leaning up to kiss him roughly. Her hands tangled in his hair as she arched into him, desperate to be closer to him, for him to kiss her harder, tighten his own grip. He struggled with her gently, pushing her away a little and watching as she gasped for breath.

"Whoa." He told her softly, a hand coming up to caress her cheek. "Easy Rache, what's wrong?" He frowned down at her and she tried to look away and avoid his gaze, but his hand still on her cheek made it nearly impossible. "You don't think I would ever take Giselle up on her offer… do you?"

Her silence was answer enough for him.

"Ah Berry," It came out as a pained moan. "We've been through this. I could never want anyone but you. You _know_ that." This time he kissed her, his lips crushing hers with fevered passion as she once again arched into him, trying to be closer to him as his kiss flurried through her, clouding her mind with a strange, intoxicating mist.

"Ahem," There was a polite cough from behind them and Jesse broke away reluctantly, keeping her hand in his as he turned to face the team.

"Sorry to interrupt you guys, but it's time for the results." Mercedes raised an eyebrow and turned around to wait outside the auditorium door, most of the rest of the team following.

"Enjoying yourselves were you?" Quinn asked, cocking an eyebrow in their direction.

"Yeah, that made even me a little uncomfortable, guys." Puck laughed throatily and moved to join the group.

Rachel flushed and led Jesse and Quinn towards the team. Mr Schue appeared and grinned at them, congratulating them quickly and apologising for not coming earlier, explaining that he had had to see to some paper work.

A few minutes later a strained official appeared, clutching a clipboard to him and hurrying them through the doors.

They climbed the steps up to the stage to stand in the middle of the stage, between Oral Intensity, in their strange aqua green outfits and Vocal Adrenaline, who were almost too bright to look at. Gathering together, Rachel moved to stand at the front of the group, clutching Jesse's hand in hers as he rubbed gentle, soothing circles on her palm with his thumb.

Beside them she noticed the woman who she had unconsciously clocked watching her during their performance. She looked familiar in a way that Rachel couldn't understand and yet she was certain she has never seen her before today. Long dark hair framed a pale, pointed face, with strangely coloured, grey-brown eyes, that stared at her with an intensity that was shocking. She stood with Vocal Adrenaline and, Rachel realised suddenly, was obviously their coach, Shelby Corcoran, a woman who, if what was written online was to be believed, drew a hard line and was notoriously hard to please. With this realisation, the power she seemed to give out with unsurprising. With such a successful show choir, who wouldn't be confident?

Glancing at Jesse she spotted that he too was looking in Shelby's direction, but his eyes were narrowed, his gaze hard, before he suddenly turned away and Rachel wondered if maybe Jesse and Shelby hadn't got on.

Her thoughts were torn from the rival show choir as a man she recognised from television, Rod somebody, swaggered onto the stage, beaming out at the audience, some of whom cheered vigorously.

In his hand was a white envelope and Rachel had to hold Jesse's hand tightly to stop herself from leaping at the man and grabbing the envelope from his hand.

He smiled around at them, seemingly oblivious to the tension simmering in the air between the show choirs.

"Hey folks, how are you all?"

There was no response and Rod's smile flickered a little, before he continued onwards. "Every performance here today was amazing, but someone has to win. Our panel of judges has deliberated for some time over who should win…"

He gestured towards the desk and Rachel felt her stomach drop as she noticed Coach Sylvester, the school's cheerleading coach, sat, looking up at them with a lazy smile. It was obvious to everyone just how much Coach Sylvester hated Glee club.

"Okay, in second place is… Oral Intensity!" There was a loud applause around them and the members of New Directions gave the rival club tight smiles as they celebrated, hugging each other tightly and accepting the small trophy, before trailing off the stage, still smiling. Now there were only two teams left on the stage. It was Vocal Adrenaline or New Directions and Rachel had a sinking feeling.

"Okay, now, in first place… we have an event that has never happened before in the history of Ohio show choir. We have a tie!"

There was a smattering of applause, but most people looking up at the stage, bewildered. The two teams glanced at each other, exchanging puzzled looks.

"They both win," Rod added, a little desperately. "They will _both_ go through to the Nationals in New York!"

There was a more enthusiastic bout of applause and, as the room erupted around them, Rachel realised with sudden clarity that they had won. They had actually done it, they had succeeded. They would be going to Nationals.

A squeal escaped her lips and she launched herself into Jesse's arms, kissing him for a moment and revelling in the way that his hands ran over her, before breaking away to embrace him tightly, tears pouring down her cheeks. Then she was pried away from Jesse and Quinn was hugging her gently, also crying. Around them, cries of joy were heard as members of New Directions embraced, congratulating each other. Tears were blinding her vision as she found herself being propelled forward to the front of the group again, Jesse's arm around her as she reached up to kiss him softly again, before pulling away.

Something was pressed into her hands and it took Rachel a moment to understand that it was their trophy. Jesse held the other half and they held it for a moment, cheering together, before allowing it to be passed back through the group. Jesse pulled her into a hug again, whispering softly in her ear.

"We've done it."

Xxx

The after party was always a big deal.

Even the losing team would go to the green room, where drinks and food were laid on, music played and karaoke sung until late into the night. Rachel could only hope that Jesse would avoid getting into a fight with his old team.

Fortunately, that didn't seem very likely, as it seemed that the coaches had decided to join the celebrations- whether for mere enjoyment or because they were expecting a fight, Rachel didn't know.

New Directions were still fired up as they piled into the green room, talking loudly, still congratulating each other as they stood in the middle of the room, huddled together. Their eyes were assaulted, however, by the bright outfits of Vocal Adrenaline- who had already scattered themselves throughout the room, lounging on sofas and talking raucously.

New Directions exchanged glances and Rachel realised immediately that this was down to her and Jesse. Reaching over, she took his hand, squeezing it and looking up at him. He nodded at her, already having guessed what she was thinking and stepping forward, leading her to sit down on one of the sofas, between a group of Vocal Adrenaline girls and a couple in pink shirts, who were making out feverishly.

He leaned further down towards her and kissed her gently, before saying, smiling a little.

"Gold suits you."

She laughed loudly and that seemed to break some of the tension, because the members of New Directions spread through the green room. The embracing couple from beside Rachel and Jesse shuffled off, still kissing, to find somewhere a little more private and the giggling girls cast them a disdainful look and hurried off to the bathroom in a large huddle.

New Directions filled these empty places, Mercedes and Kurt coming to sit on Jesse's side, talking loudly about fashion, Puck, Quinn, Mike and Tina coming to sit on the other side, still discussing their most recent victory. Soon, the other members of the club had filled the booth-like cluster of seats they were sat in, Rachel and Jesse moving to a single armchair, Rachel snuggling in Jesse's lap to make room.

"We kicked ass." Puck was still gloating, seeming to have forgotten that they had drawn.

"We did," Jesse agreed, smiling at him and hugging Rachel close.

"Yeah," Tina nodded. "We were so good, you guys killed that ballad- it was amazing."

"Thank you," Rachel's smile was slightly smug.

"Yeah, Jesse you were brilliant." Kurt beamed at him, leaning over the arm of the sofa to get closer. Rachel cast him a scathing glance and Jesse grinned a little, rubbing her hand soothingly and replying to Kurt.

"Thanks Kurt."

"Well, we all did well." Finn cut in, glancing around at them and avoiding Jesse and Rachel.

"Yeah," Quinn nodded. "We were good."

"Guys!" They looked up to see Mr Schue, who was stood above them, his curly hair tousled. He was beaming however, his smile so wide it almost split his face in two. He held out his arms and they scrambled up to hug him.

"You were so amazing!" He laughed aloud as they went to sit back in their seats. "I can't explain how proud of you I am. You were all so incredible, you were by far the best out of all of them."

"Well obviously not," Santana pointed out, raising one eyebrow, "Or else we wouldn't have tied- we would have won."

Mercedes cut in before anyone else could, frowning at Santana. "I think what Mr Schue means is that we were the best really, but that Vocal Adrenaline just beat us because they were good too… they have no heart."

Jesse nodded along with the rest of them.

"Well," Mr Schue replied, speaking to them all in general. "Enjoy the celebrations guys, I'll be around if you need me- just give me a shout when you leave okay?"

They nodded again and Mr Schue smiled, congratulating them one last time before going back over to the few other teachers who were stood together, the balding coach of Oral Intensity, who had just filed into the room looking a little crestfallen, was talking angrily into his cell phone. Mr Schue went over and gave them a smile, starting to talk to the assistant coach of Oral Intensity. Rachel's eyes were once again drawn to Shelby, the tall, dark woman, who stood, leaning against the wall, gazing at the room with an austere, unreadable expression.

"Rache," Jesse's voice snapped her from her reverie and she smiled instinctively as she turned to look at him. "I'm gonna go grab a drink, want me to get you one?"

She nodded, smiling at him as he clambered up around her and disappeared towards the refreshments table. She watched him anxiously until he was out of sight. She could just imagine the kind of fight that would break out if he met Adrian again.

"Rache?"

Looking up at the sound of her name, she jumped a little to find Puck right behind her.

"Yes Noah? Can I help you?"

"It's Quinn," He was chewing a little on his bottom lip, looking anxious. "She went to the bathroom a little while ago and she hasn't come back, I was wondering if you could go after her?"

"Oh… yeah, of course I will." She stood and smiled at him, resting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "It'll be okay Noah, Quinn will be fine."

He nodded, unconvinced and she sighed, pushing through the crush of bodies until she got to the bathroom.

"Quinn?" She called out, glancing around for any sign of her friend.

"Rachel?" The voice was quiet, hoarse.

"Quinn, where are you?" She spun around, trying to place the voice.

"In the third stall from the left." Quinn explained and Rachel hurried over, hesitating as her hand touched the wood of the door.

"Can I come in?" She asked.

"The door's open."

Taking that as a yes, Rachel pushed open the door and stopped immediately.

"Quinn?"

The girl was curled on the floor in a loose foetal position, her hands clutching her stomach as she gasped a little.

"Quinn?" Rachel repeated, alarmed now, dropping to the floor beside her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing…" She shook her head wearily. "It's just the Braxton-Hicks contractions."

Rachel's eyes widened. "The pre-labour ones?"

"That's the ones." She laughed with little humour and then flinched and gasped for a moment.

"What should I do?" Rachel asked, frantically, waving her hands around her ineffectually.

"Nothing… nothing..." Her face relaxed a little. "I'll be fine, it's normal."

"Are you sure?" Rachel's eyes were still wide.

"Perfectly, they're slowing already." She held a hand out and Rachel reached down, helping her up slowly.

Sighing, Quinn staggered to the counter and ran the water, splashing her face with cold water. "Let me guess… Puck sent you?"

Rachel nodded silently, saying finally. "He really does care you know."

Quinn's expression hardened, "it's a little late for him to develop a careful attitude."

Rachel shrugged, but didn't press it, recognising the expression on her face and realising it would do no good. "What are you going to do now?"

Quinn shrugged and sighed. "Go home I suppose. I'm tired anyway."

"Okay," Rachel smiled, giving her a careful hug. "Be safe."

"I will," Quinn rolled her eyes.

**xxx**

**And here it is, not much time for an AN I'm afraid- sad times. Sorry this took a while, I just had a ton of exams and just… ugh. Anyway, this is the first chapter to go through my new beta, BFSFN a.k.a Paws! She is actually amazing and puts up with me bouncing ideas off her- which happens often! **

**Okay, I got to be off, I should update again in a few days, and don't think I've forgotten about the failure that was the finale, I will be ranting about it when I get back- at the moment I'm just too furious. **

**Maybe eight or nine reviews? Please?**

**Love you all!**

**Ray**

**xxx **


	21. Chapter 20

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

Meanwhile, Jesse returned with Rachel's drink and his own and upon finding her missing, immediately demanded to know where she had gone. Puck explained that she had gone to find Quinn and Jesse nodded, leaving the drinks in favour of going to wait near the girl's bathroom to check Rachel was okay.

As he moved out of the door, to wait in the corridor, he felt a hand grab his forearm and swing him around, pulling him down the corridor a little, and pressing his back against the wall.

Frowning, he looked down to see Giselle's hard face staring down at his.

Her red lips twisted into a smile and she pressed her lips to his, her hands running dangerously low so that his head spun for a moment, before he pushed her away.

"What the hell are you doing?" He shouted, wiping his hand angrily across his lips.

"Oh, come on baby," She purred, slinking closer to him and attempting the wrap herself around him, her hands moving to loosen his tie.

"Giselle!" His shout was loud, brusque. "Get off me." He pushed her away again, with more force letting her stagger a little, before catching her when it looked like she would fall.

The moment she had righted herself he let go of her like she burnt his hands.

"Why are you suddenly so uptight St James? You never used to be." Her voice was soft, low, almost a hum.

"I have a _girlfriend_, Giselle. You have no right to try this on with me."

"A girlfriend- you." She scoffed, shaking her head. "Jesse St James doesn't do girlfriends; that's what you told me."Her tone was tinged with bitterness and he frowned.

"This is different Giselle. I never really felt anything for you- not really."

She cringed a little and he regretted his choice of words for a moment, before she bit back, cattily.

"And her, that _sophomore_, she makes you feel something does she?"

"Yeah." He replied, his voice steadily.

"Like what?" She scoffed again. "_Paternal_?"

"No," He replied, trying to keep his tone calm and steady.

"What then?" She demanded.

"I love her." He replied softly.

There was a long moment of silence where she looked at him, her expression completely unreadable.

Then she scoffed again.

"_Love_…" She shook her head, starting down the corridor again, back towards the party. "You're not capable of such an emotion."

His eyes followed her, keeping his silence as he watched her sashay away and then his eyes caught on something gold stood further down the corridor.

_Rachel._

He looked at her for a minute and then he was walking, his walk turning into a run in seconds as he sprinted towards her, stopping suddenly a few metres away.

"Rache?" His voice was strangely vulnerable, almost weak.

Then she launched herself into his arms and he smiled, relaxing into her touch as she held him close.

"I love you too." She whispered softly and took his hand, leading him back into the party.

So wrapped up was she in the celebrations that she didn't notice Shelby stood in the corner, watching her every move with a strange intensity.

But Jesse did.

**xxx**

Quinn had her baby three days after their win at Regionals.

At five o'clock in the morning, Rachel was awoken to the ringing of her phone, a desperate Puck on the phone, saying that Quinn was in labour and had demanded that he call her.

She threw on some clothes, grabbed her cell and her purse and told her dads where she was going, before driving in the dark to the hospital.

Pushing her way in, she had skipped the queue, ignoring the complaints of the other patients and demanded to know where Quinn Fabray was. The mousy, tired receptionist hadn't been any trouble, but the nurse on the floor that Quinn was on was another story completely. Their conversation had been escalating into a shouting match, until a haggard looking Puck appeared, recognising her voice from down the hall and telling the nurse who she was, before pulling her away.

"You have got to help me." He whispered, anxiously, before leading her into the room Quinn was in.

She was lying in the bed, her face twisted in pain as she gasped for a minute, before relaxing and looking up at her.

"Rache," She gasped.

Rachel hurried around to grip her groping hand. "Quinn, how are you doing?"

"Ugh," She groaned. "They say the contractions are starting slowly and that it might be a few _hours_ before the thing comes out."

"Oh God," Rachel cringed in sympathy, holding her hand tightly again as another contraction took over, making her cringe painfully and Rachel settled herself in for a long day.

An hour or so later, she left for a bathroom break and stood in the corridor, shaking her hand to try and get the blood flowing, her other holding her phone to her ear as she stood and watched the sun rising.

He picked up after a few minutes and answered, his voice heavy with sleep. "Hello?"

"Jesse?"

"Rache?" He was suddenly more alert. "What's wrong, is everything okay?"

"Fine, fine. Did I wake you?"

"Yeah," He cut himself off with a quick yawn. "I was lying in a bit before school."

"Oh, I'm sorry…"

"No, don't worry about it, what's up?"

"I'm at the hospital…"

"You're at the hospital!" He exploded, cutting her off. "What do you mean you're at the hospital? What's wrong? Are you hurt? Is it the baby?"

"No, no I'm fine. It's Quinn, she's gone into labour."

"What?" The frantic note in his voice lessened a bit. "But she's not due for another few weeks."

"Babies can come early you know Jesse." She laughed a little and he replied, sheepishly.

"Oh yeah, well, it's early you know. I'll be there in about ten okay?"

"What? You don't have to come down, I just called so that you would know where I was."

"But I'm coming anyway."

"Jesse-"

"I'm coming Rache, no arguments."

Jesse arrived ten minutes later, meeting Rachel at the desk and hugging her, kissing her gently.

She pushed him away a little, cringing. "I probably have morning breath Jesse."

"Don't care." He replied, smiling a little and kissing her again, before following her up the stairs to Quinn's room.

**Xxx**

Quinn's baby arrived at noon, weighing 4 pounds, 7 ounces, a healthy baby girl. Rachel and Jesse watched from the doorway as Quinn held the child in her arms, cradling it gently, her smile tender, her eyes soft.

Puck hovered over her shoulder, staring down at both mother and daughter with an adoring expression, one arm placed around Quinn's shoulders.

They looked so happy.

Smiling softly the couple retreated, shutting the door quietly behind them, giving the new family some privacy.

They walked hand in hand down the corridor, stopping finally at the large, glass window to stare out at the hospital grounds.

"They looked so happy," Rachel finally said, softly.

"They did," Jesse agreed, wrapping her in a hug, pressing her back to his chest. "What's Quinn going to do?"

He felt Rachel shrug beneath him. "She always said adoption… but now… it could change." She was cradling her own stomach gently. "You were awful during the birth Jesse!" He could hear the laughter in the voice.

"There was a lot of blood!" He replied, defensively.

"You big baby," she teased, "You'd better not do that when our baby's born."

He felt her stiffen beside him immediately and waited as a long moment of silence passed.

"I'm sorry Jesse," Her voice was soft. "I didn't mean to, I know you're not the child's father… I didn't mean to…"

He shushed her gently, wrapping her tightly in his embrace, his hands going down to cover hers over her stomach, cradling the bump tenderly. "Don't worry Rache. I actually like it… the way you consider this baby mine, even though it isn't and I want you to know that I want to be here for you. Both you and the baby, when it's born, and I'll support any decision you make."

There was another moment of quiet, before she turned in his arms, reaching up to kiss him gently, their kiss salty as tears mingled in her lips.

"Rachel's pregnant?" The voice startled them so much that they jumped, spinning around to see Puck, his eyes wide, staring at them, dumbfounded.

"Puck," Rachel gasped out, her voice breathless. "You surprised us."

"You're pregnant?" He reiterated.

"Of course not," She replied swiftly.

"You are," He shook his head, staring at her. "I heard you."

"Puck please," Rachel took a step forward tears pooling in her eyes. "_Please_ don't tell anyone Puck, please."

"I wouldn't, I mean, I may be bad ass, but we Jews have to look out for each other." Puck stepped forward.

"So, who's the father?"

Jesse and Rachel exchanged a glance and Jesse came over to Rachel, tucking an arm around her waist and pulling her close as he said.

"It's a long story."

Puck's face was set, however. "I got time." He replied. "Come on man, stop talking crap and just tell me straight. Is it Finn?"

"No," Jesse wrinkled his nose, disgusted.

"Anyone in Glee club?"

"No," Jesse repeated.

"You just gonna answer in one word?"

"Maybe."

"Smart ass," Puck scowled. "Tell me, you two."

"O-Over Christmas," Rachel's voice was quiet, soft and she leaned heavily into Jesse's dark jacket. "I was… someone… took advantage."

Tears were trickling slowly down her cheeks as she spoke and Jesse wrapped her in a tight embrace, running a soothing hand up and down her back as she sobbed. His chin rested on her forehead as he glared at Puck.

It took a moment for Puck to regain the ability of speech. When he did speak, his voice was dangerously low.

"Who was it?"

"We don't know." Jesse answered tightly.

"No description, nothing?"

"No," Jesse said again.

"What about the police, what about an investigation into the attack?" His voice rose passionately.

"They've been looking ever since, but Rachel can't remember much. Nothing of detail and there were no security cameras or people around at the time. They can't pin anyone down."

"Well that's utter bull man! How the hell can they just sit there and do nothing?"

Jesse just shrugged, still comforting Rachel.

"How… How far along is she?"

"About sixteen weeks." Rachel replied, her voice muffled by Jesse's coat.

"Right… right and does anyone else…?"

"Only Finn and Quinn. It was why we broke up."

"What… so he found out you were pregnant and just broke up with you?" Rachel nodded and Puck's voice became tight, furious. "That little piece of crap, you wait till I get my hands on him." Puck's hands balled into fists at his sides, his scowl deep and angry.

Jesse grinned a little, a new found liking for Puckerman springing up inside him.

"He thought it was Jesse's."

Puck continued to grumble to himself, not satisfied with this answer either.

"Isn't Quinn waiting for you?" Rachel asked gently.

"Oh yeah," He looked up at them. "She wanted me to tell you thanks, you know, for being there and everything."

"Tell her it's no problem." Jesse replied, pulling Rachel closer and smiling.

"Tell her yourself, you wanna come and see the baby?"

They exchanged delighted glances and nodded enthusiastically, following Puck down the Quinn's room, where Quinn was feeding the baby was a small bottle.

She looked up and smiled at them. "She won't drink the normal way, the nurses say that it's because she's premature and that I should keep trying with her but… I prefer it this way." She grinned sheepishly.

Rachel let go of Jesse's hand and skirted around to the other side of the bed, leaning over Quinn and cooing at the little bundle in her arms. Curious, Jesse stepped a little closer himself and smiled down at the baby. She was wrapped in a white swaddling cloth, her big blue eyes yet to change colour as she stared up at the group of people around her. She had yet to grow any hair and one little hand was resting on the cloth, her tiny fingers holding the cloth in a gentle grip.

His heart melted a little inside.

"She's gorgeous," Rachel cooed softly, gliding one finger gently down the baby's face.

"She is," Jesse agreed and Quinn looked up, smiling at him, then at Rachel.

"She is." She sighed and a more sombre tone over took the room.

Rachel squatted down beside the bed, until Jesse brought a chair over for her, insisting she sit in it. She rolled her eyes, but did so, placing a comforting hand on Quinn's shoulder when she asked, quietly.

"What are you thinking of doing?"

Quinn took a long moment to reply; sighing a shuddering breath and saying, finally. "I don't know… adoption, I think…" She cast them an anxious glance and Rachel nodded, encouragingly.

"Adoption is good," She comforted, quietly.

"But… I don't know… what if no one will take her… or she gets stuck with a bad family… That will all be my fault." Quinn's eyes sparkled with unshed tears.

"They are so good with the adoption system, Quinn." Jesse offered. "You have to go through months and months of checks. And then they drop in from time to time, to check everything's okay."

Quinn cast him a grateful glance. "I can't really see any other option." She admitted quietly. "I can't keep her; my mother would never allow it. I would never be able to give her the attention she deserves."

"Where _is_ your mother?" Rachel asked, glancing around the oddly empty room.

"She went away for work and stayed over night. I've tried to call her, but her cell's off."

Rachel and Jesse exchanged a glance, but didn't say anything.

"What are you thinking of… I mean, about naming. Are you two going to name her?" Jesse asked, effectively changing the subject.

"We were thinking of naming her…" Quinn exchanged a small smile with Puck. "We were thinking of Beth…"

"Beth," Rachel repeated softly, gazing down at the baby and when she looked up, there were tears in her eyes. "Perfect."

**Xxx**

**So, hey guys, I'm sure you've all noticed the chopping and changing this story has been submitted to recently.**

**This is because it was brought to my attention that my story is similar to SpringSinger's story 'Hello, Is It Me You're Looking For?' (great story by the way, go read it). This was purely accidental and I had absolutely no idea it was going on until I was contacted. I contacted the author and the whole affair has been sorted. I changed my chapters (nothing crucial you don't have to go back and re read everything) and everything's okay again. The author has decided not to press that my story be deleted. **

**Even so I'm upset (at myself) about the whole circumstance. I'm not about to delete this story myself, that would be silly when so many of you enjoy reading it. But my inspiration and confidence have been dampened by this turn of events. **

**It's mostly my confidence that is shot so, whilst I will be posting a new chapter, I wont be writing very much for a while. **

**I hope you guys forgive me for this, even though I'm far from forgiving myself. **

**I hope you all enjoyed the new chapter, it would be great if you could review and thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, you know how much it means to me. **

**Love**

**Ray**

**xxx**


	22. Chapter 21

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

It wasn't a surprise when, a few days later, Jesse announced to her that they were going out. When she had asked why, he had explained that this would be their first official date together as boyfriend and girlfriend. She had laughed and said that they had been out tons since they had got together. He had shrugged her off and informed her to be ready at seven on Saturday, when he would pick her up.

After staring at her wardrobe for fifteen minutes straight, Rachel finally called Quinn and asked the ex-cheerleader to assist her. Quinn, who had eventually left Baby Beth at the hospital, and was being forced by her mother, who had finally arrived, to stay in bed, was more than happy to help.

Eventually Rachel decided on a deep purple skirt and cream coloured blouse, slipping on some white pumps and light purple tights to match.

Jesse arrived at seven sharp, his own clothing obviously stepped up a notch and offered her his arm, telling her dads that she would be home by ten and wishing them a good evening.

He really was the model boyfriend.

As they drove, Jesse would reveal nothing to Rachel about where they were going and she only twigged when they passed a large, stone statue. A beam split across her face and she grasped his free hand in hers tightly.

"What are we seeing?" She asked, as he offered her his hand and she clambered from the car, her hand automatically going to cup her bump.

"The local theatre production of West Side Story, to commemorate the day we met," A grin made its way up onto his face and she smiled back, taking his hand as he led her down towards the large theatre.

"I thought that was sold out?" She asked, pulling him closer for warmth.

"You forget," He caught her eyes for a moment, to wink. "I'm Jesse St James, I have connections."

She rolled her eyes and smiled in return.

The show was wonderful, the dancing spectacular and the singing magical. Jesse even waited with her at the stage door, neither complaining nor sighing in irritation as she questioned the stars feverishly and got the autograph of everyone she could find.

Finally, he told her gently that they had a table booked at a restaurant and led her gently away from the exhausted crowd of actors.

The meal was wonderful and completely vegetarian, to Rachel's utmost satisfaction. Once Rachel had put down her fork on now empty dessert plate and sat back with a satisfied sigh, Jesse offered to go and grab the bill. Rachel accepted easily and began to check her cell for missed messages, looking up when she felt a presence by her shoulder.

She was shocked to see Shelby Corcoran, the coach of Vocal Adrenaline, looking down at her. She jumped and started back from the woman, gasping in surprise, before laughing a little, watching Shelby move to sit in Jesse's empty seat.

"Uh, hi Miss Corcoran."

"Rachel Berry," Shelby smiled at her a little, observing her with a strange expression. Rachel was once again bombarded by the strange feeling that she recognised the woman before her, despite the fact that she knew she had never seen her before.

"Uh, yeah, that's me." Rachel stuck her hand out and Shelby shook it once, nodding.

"Yes, I know."

An awkward silence settled over the pair until Rachel asked, finally, her voice tentative. "Can I help you at all?"

Instead of answering her question, Shelby replied. "I saw you perform at Regionals, you and Jesse were very good."

"Thank you," Rachel flushed a little and smiled, trying to keep her usual 'I know how great I am, you don't need to tell me' tone from her voice. "Of course, you know Jesse."

"Yes, I do know Jesse. You guys stole one of my best members."

"Oh, well, I guess… sorry is in order?"

"Not at all," Shelby shook her head, her dark hair tumbling over her shoulders.

"Oh, well Vocal Adrenaline were-"

"Rachel?" Jesse's voice cut through them and she looked up in surprise to see her boyfriend striding quickly towards them.

"Jesse," Rachel greeted him, smiling as she took his offered hand and gathered herself up. "I was just talking to Miss Corcoran. She said they miss you over at Vocal Adrenaline."

"I'm sure they do," Jesse's lips were pressed into a thin line and when he spoke his voice was tight. "Good evening Miss Corcoran. If you'll excuse us, Rachel and I must be going."

Rachel cast him a confused glance, and started no speak. "We do… I thought…?"

He cut her off abruptly. "Nice seeing you Miss Corcoran."He said, with no sincerity and hooked his arm around Rachel's waist, leading her quickly from the restaurant. Rachel looked back once more at Shelby, confused and was surprised to see that her face was tight with irritation.

"Jesse what…?" She went to ask, her frown showing the befuddling perplexity she felt.

"Don't worry about it okay, just know that that was all for the best." Jesse replied smartly, his brows still furrowed as he helped her up into the car.

"Am I supposed to just buy that?" She asked as she buckled her belt and he climbed in next to him.

"Yeah," He started the engine and she glared at him.

"C'mon Jesse, I'm not fragile, you don't need to protect me."

"Look," He kept his gaze on the road. "Just know that you don't really want to get mixed up with Shelby and all that Vocal Adrenaline stuff okay? She suckers people in, and I don't want her to try anything with you."

"Jesse!" She pressed a hand to her chest, dramatically. "I would never abandon New Directions, you know that."

"Rachel, I'm just going to have to ask you to trust me on this, okay?"

She looked up at him, taking in his tight expression, the worried lines forming around his frown and sighed.

"Okay, I'll trust you."

**Xxx**

It was strange how winning (well, tying really, but what did that matter) Regionals changed things in the glee club. They had all presumed, maybe unconsciously, that they would loose. They were up against National champions after all and, although they had somehow managed to scrape through Sectionals, it seemed that Regionals was a totally different story.

Now that they had, effectively, won, they knew that their place in the school was just a little more secure, a little sturdier than it had been. They all seemed to band together, the social problems that separated them fading slightly so that, for a while at least, they were all happy laughing and joking together.

The honeymoon period didn't last long.

One morning Mr Schue came into rehearsals and dropped a large wad of paper on the piano with a loud bang.

"250 dollars." Was all he said.

They looked at him quizzically for a second, silently waiting for him to expand on whatever it was that he was talking about.

"That's how much it's gonna cost the get the New York, minimal."

"Oh, well that's easy Mr Schue, we can so raise that." Puck sat back heavily, rocking back on two legs of his chair as he smirked.

"Each." Mr Schue said finally.

There was silence, broken only by the thundering crash as Puck fell backwards, tumbling down with his chair to the floor. He stood slowly and, with a dazed look on his face, finally asked the question that everyone was wondering.

"What the hell?"

"250 dollars, per person." Mr Schue repeated slowly and looked at them with tired eyes. "Anyone got any ideas on how to raise the funds?"

There was only silence as they looked at each other, all waiting for someone else to speak.

"Jesse?" Mr Schue turned to him in desperation and Jesse sighed heavily, knowing what he wanted.

He rubbed his hand through his hair and shook his head, saying finally. "I don't know Mr Schue. In Carmel things were a lot different. Students were willing to buy mountains of cakes if they saw a member of the V.A sat behind the counter. Here… well that probably wouldn't work so well. Mostly the parents tended to fork out."

"There's no way my mama can afford that," Mercedes said and was joined by a chorus of agreements.

"We could do another car wash." Finn suggested and Mr Schue sighed again.

"You don't get that much from a car wash though."

"We could…" Mike trailed off, unable to think of anything and then sighed, rubbing the back of his head.

"What _can _we do? The only thing we're any good at is stealing." Quinn said, from beside Rachel.

There was a moment of silence and then suddenly Mr Schue spoke, his eyes widening with sudden realisation. "That's it… singing." He looked up, his lips wide with a smile and his eyes bright. "Do any of you have any objections to busking?"

**Xxx**

They stayed longer after school than they normally did, a few days later. Changing in the bathrooms, Rachel couldn't quell the pre-performance excitement that she always got. Stepping out of the cubical, Rachel smiled at Quinn lightly, watching as the blonde smiled back before leaving quickly.

Quinn seemed to be handling things… quite well really. She had finally decided to put her foot down and come to school, refusing to be locked up at home anymore. Rachel had been slightly worried, if perhaps Quinn would be unhappy because of the loss of baby Beth, but she seemed strangely upbeat and Rachel had decided to not press it.

Shrugging to herself, Rachel ran the pink brush through her hair a few times before frowning when she caught sight of Kurt emerging from a cubical on the other side of the room and going towards Mercedes, who was stood at the mirror. Slipping into a cubical near them, Rachel peered around the door, watching them intently as they talked.

"I'm looking forward to seeing Jesse in his costume." Kurt joined Mercedes at the mirror, powdering his face.

"Really?" Mercedes paused from her brushing to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Hell yes, aren't you?"

"Should I be?"

"Well, it's Jesse, come on, and he'll be wearing one of these little numbers." Kurt fingered the fabric of his dark, v-neck t-shirt and then winked. "But his will be much, _much_ tighter."

Mercedes shook her head, snorting a little. "Nu-uh, I'll leave him to Rachel. You do know that she'll claw your eyes out if you start chasing him don't you?"

Kurt shrugged, giving his face one last puff of powder before putting the make up back in his bag. "I'm not saying I'll chase him. Just that I'm appreciating all the perks of that tough Vocal Adrenaline training regime."

They laughed together and Mercedes put away her brush as the left the bathroom, talking animatedly about this month's upcoming _Vogue _cover.

Rachel stepped out of the cubical, flexing her hands, which had unconsciously curled into fists. She knew there was something going on with Kurt. He was welcome to admire Jesse from afar, but if she caught even a hint that he was trying to get her man, then Mercedes was right, Rachel would fight tooth and nail to keep him.

**Xxx**

Jesse sighed as he sat heavily on the plus couch in his Uncle's house. He hadn't seen the man since he had first moved in. Whilst he was away the Peruvian cleaner would visit and every week two parcels of money came through the letter box. One from his parents, the other from his Uncle, which all could be put towards food and anything else he needed. He didn't particularly need either, after all, he still had the shiny black card that his parents used to try and buy his affection, but it was nice to leave the cleaner (he had never really known what her name was) a tip and use it to buy random luxuries and presents that he saw for Rachel.

The random performance that they had organised in the mall had gone rather well and, to his surprise, been really good fun. It was nice to perform in front of an audience again and they had enjoyed it, donating generously. Having done several performances throughout the evening, they had raised around 200 dollars, which was good, but wouldn't get them very farm even if Mr Schue had decided that they were trying to raise 100 dollars per student and leave the rest to the kids themselves.

So far they only had two people going to Nationals and, even if those two people were he and Rachel, Jesse didn't think they'd be able to pull it off.

He frowned a little and pushed himself up from the couch when he heard the knock on the door. People rarely came to see him, unless it was Rachel and Jesse knew she would have called prior to coming if that was the case.

Pulling open the door, his frown deepened when he was confronted with a cheerful mail man, who handed him a small parcel. He signed the form swiftly and then took the parcel from the mail mans' hand and walked slowly back to the lounge.

Who could this be from?

It was addressed to him as well, not to his Uncle, so it could only be someone who knew he was living here.

His parents?

Surely not.

Tearing open the packaging, Jesse gasped when a wad of bills fell into his lap, fishing out the crumpled letter from between the bills he read swiftly.

_Jesse,_

_Don't you dare try and give me this back, because you will mortally offend me. I heard about your situation with Nationals, you did email me about it after all, so I thought I'd make my contribution. See it as a gift from one generation to the next. Not that we're really that far apart age wise. But you know what I mean. American Idiot will be opening in about a month and if I don't see you and Berry there on opening night, I want all this back, you hear me?_

_Also, you can consider this your birthday and next years Christmas presents, 'k?_

_Better go, Lauren's dancing tonight and I'll be late. _

_Remember, don't try and return this. _

_Johnny. _

Jesse smiled widely, placing the note on the cushion beside him and counting through the notes. There had to be around 1000 dollars in the wad. Trust Johnny to hear his hidden plea when he needed it most. It was true that, if Johnny had written anything else he would have given him the money right back, his pride getting in the way. But as it was…

Shaking his head, Jesse shoved the money back into the envelope and, beaming, sent a quick text to Johnny, before pulling on his coat and hurrying from the house.

**Xxx**

**That's right… I'm not dead!**

**Sorry it took me so long to update guys, my confidence was a little shaken and then I had a huge exam and then I was ill and this morning I had a massive maths exam… but they're all done now- thank goodness!**

**I've had writers block and it's actually killing me very slowly.**

**So, I've decided to not even talk about the travesty that was the finale, it'll just make me angry.**

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed and told me to keep on writing, it meant so much to me to hear all of your encouragement.**

**I saw that some of you were messaging the girl who reviewed and though I am flattered beyond belief that you jumped to my defence like that, I have been contacted about it, so I'd really like it if we could, you know, tone it down now :) Thank you very much.**

**Anyway, onto happier subjects… guess where I'm going in two days?**

**TO A GLEE CONCERT! **

**I cannot wait! I'm actually hyperventilating with excitement. **

**Anyway, thank you again for the reviews, maybe eight before an update…? :) **

**Love you guys.**

**Ray **

**xxxx **


	23. Chapter 22

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**Xxx**

The next day Jesse quietly slipped away from the rest of the glee club as Rachel chatted animatedly to Quinn about something and pulled the envelope from his pocket. Striding down the hallways he hummed softly to himself, stopping abruptly when he heard his name being called.

"Hey, Jesse!"

Turning, he was surprised to see Kurt stood behind him, his hair slightly messy, his leather bag bouncing against his hip as he ran to catch him up.

"What you doing?" He asked, once he'd arrived at Jesse's side, his breathing slightly heavy.

"Uh… I'm just going to see Mr Schue…" He frowned quizzically down at the smaller boy.

"Oh cool," His replied, perkily and then hitched his bag further up as he asked. "Mind if I come along?"

Jesse blinked in surprise, trying to think of any time that Kurt had showed a particular interest in him. He had said hello and been friendly, but then, so had most people. So why this sudden need to join him?

Shrugging Jesse decided that it couldn't hurt that much to let him tag along. "Sure," He smiled conspiratorially. "But you have to promise me you can keep this a secret from Rache."

Kurt's smile widened and his eyes sparkled. "Of course," He breathed. "I won't speak a word."

Jesse laughed and nodded, "Okay then sure, come along."

Together they walked quickly to Mr Schue's office, exchanging small talk as they went. The teacher was sat at his desk, marking papers and he jumped when they knocked on the door.

"Oh, hey guys." He smiled wearily at them and Jesse walked in to stand at his desk.

"Mr Schue, I have a proposition for you."

"Oh?" Mr Schue was still glancing down at his papers, ticking randomly as they spoke.

Jesse rolled his eyes a little and fished the envelope back out of his pocket, throwing it on the table in front of the teacher, who jumped again.

"Open it," Jesse prompted.

Mr Schue pulled up the envelope and flicked it open warily. His eyes widened when he saw the content and he looked up. "Jesse…"

"It's from a friend of mine. He's just had his big break so he can afford it. He'd prefer to be known as 'an anonymous benefactor'." Jesse laughed a little.

Mr Schue's eyes widened further as he counted through the notes and when he finally spoke, his voice was hushed. "Will you send along my thanks Jesse?"

"Naturally."

Turning Jesse nodded once to Mr Schue and started back towards the cafeteria, smiling a small, satisfied smile.

"That was so nice, Jesse!"

He had almost forgotten about Kurt.

"Thanks," He cast a small smile down to the boy.

"Who was your friend?"

"Oh, just a friend of mine who-" He was cut off with Rachel hurtling herself into his arms and kissing him passionately.

Stumbling backwards from the impact he kissed her back willingly, his hands going to comb through her silky hair as he pulled her flush with his body. Finally, she pulled away a little..

He ran a hand down her cheek gently, asking. "Not that I'm complaining, but what exactly did I do to deserve that? I want to make a note of it."

Rachel laughed gently and smiled up at him, her whole face aglow. "You left your phone with me, Johnny sent you a text and I demanded that he tell me what he was taking about," She laughed again. "He cracked like an egg."

Jesse growled playfully. "The pansy."

"I know right?" Rachel laughed again and slipped him back his phone, reaching upwards to kiss him one last time, before hugging him close.

Over his shoulder she caught sight of Kurt, a few paces away. She watched him, her gaze steely until, finally, he turned away.

This was one fight Rachel Berry was _not_ going to loose.

**Xxx**

Around a week later, Mr Schue entered the choir room was more of a spring to his step. The group watched him warily, falling quiet as he practically danced up to the front, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

"Okay guys! You all seem to have started to slack a little since we won Regionals."

"_Drew,"_ Santana muttered darkly, but Mr Schue continued regardless.

"So, as our little duets project worked so well last time, I'm going to have another shot. But I'm picking the teams this time." He smiled as a groan ran through the group, who shifted restlessly.

"Okay then, lets see," His eyes roamed over the group, all of whom shrunk back away from his piercing gaze. "How about Finn and… Santana."The pair cast each other a disgusted glance, but Mr Schue had already moved on. "Mike, you go with Artie, and Tina, how about you and Quinn pair up?" The muttering in the room grew louder, but he ignored it. "Okay and… Rachel, you go with Brittany, Puck you team up with Mercedes, which leaves Kurt with Jesse, am I right?"

There was a grumbled agreement and Mr Schue stepped back. "Okay then, this'll be a competition and the winner will get tickets to see a movie, any movie, so long as their in the right age category."

The faces around them brightened up and the kids started to stream from the door.

"First performance, next week, okay guys?"

Kurt pushed himself up from his seat, walking a few paces behind Jesse, who had his arm around Rachel's shoulder. Kurt's teeth clenched together as he watched the boy bend down to whisper something in Rachel's ear. She laughed softly and reached up to kiss him gently on his ear lobe. Kurt cringed as he watched Jesse move to deepen the kiss, smiling wickedly when Brittany called out to Rachel. Rachel pulled away from Jesse, saying something to him before going to talk to Brittany quickly.

Hurriedly Kurt moved up behind Jesse, placing a hand on his shoulder. The weather was quiet warm today, so Jesse was only wearing a thin sweater and a T-shirt and Kurt could feel the heat radiating from the older boy's body.

"Boo," He laughed and Jesse turned, smiling a little.

"Hey Kurt,"

"Hey," Kurt went to lean on the lockers next to him. "Guess we're partners,"

"Guess so," Jesse replied, looking up as the bell rang again. "I'd better be going Kurt…."

"Do you want to meet tonight?" Kurt asked hurriedly, stepping forward. "To practice, I mean," He added quickly, seeing Jesse's curious expression.

"Uh… sure, I don't see why not. I'll text you if our plans change."

With that he turned and hurried off down the corridor, running a hand absent mindedly through his curls. Kurt smiled, his stomach curling with anticipation. He was desperate to be able to run his own hands through Jesse's tousled curls and now he was one step closer to getting there.

Xxx

"Rachel?" She turned at the sound of her name being called and, once she'd seen him, smiled widely.

He pushed through the people surrounding him and took her offered hand, leading her out of the crowds. "How you doing?" He glanced down at her stomach.

"We're fine," She smirked a little at the plural.

"Good," He replied, moving closer to her and placing his hands over her swelling stomach. "I never want it to be any other way."

She smiled at him and reached up to kiss him swiftly before pulling away and studying him closely. "Hey Jesse?" She asked finally.

"Uh huh?" He replied softly, peppering her neck with kisses.

"Why don't you want me talking to Shelby?"

His mouth froze mid kiss.

"Jesse?"

Sighing, he pulled away from her and stood up straighter. "Trust me Rache, she's really bad news."

Rachel looked at him steadily for one long moment, before nodding. "Okay, I'll leave it, for now at least. Are you coming home? We decided to rent the 25th anniversary performance of _Les Mis_. I was thinking we could criticise Nick Jonas."

He shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, admitting softly.

"I said I'd practice with Kurt tonight."

"Oh," She seemed to deflate in his arms and he felt slightly guilty.

"I'll watch it tomorrow, I promise."

"Okay," She looked up at him, her eyes strangely troubled. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Or maybe later tonight." He added and she nodded again, reaching up to kiss him firmly, her hands going up to their now conventional place in his hair as he pulled her close. Her lips ravaged his roughly, firm and oddly different from how they normally felt.

"Whoa," He pulled back a little. "Are you okay?"

"I-" She stumbled over her words and then nodded hastily. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Bye Jesse." She pulled herself out of his grip, walking swiftly to her car without looking back. Jesse frowned, watching her go. There was definitely something wrong.

Xxx

Pushing open the door to the Auditorium, Jesse was almost alarmed to see Kurt sat by the piano bench, tinkling with the keys.

"Hey," He called and Kurt turned, smiling widely. He seemed to have changed his clothes, which didn't seem to make much sense, but Jesse decided to not question the boy's antics.

"Hi Jesse," Kurt almost skipped to the edge of the stage.

"Hey," Jesse repeated, climbing the steps easily and smiling a little when he heard his footsteps echo through the empty auditorium.

"I thought you might not come." Kurt sounded a little breathless and Jesse turned, frowning a little.

"No, of course I'd come, I said I would right?"

Kurt only nodded and Jesse moved to the piano, leaning back on it as Kurt returned to the bench, crossing his legs and turning to face Jesse.

"So," Kurt moved to spread a group of sheet music across the top of the piano. "I've thought of a few suggestions, I was thinking we should go a little unconventional, I mean, all of the boys will be doing songs by boys, so we'll do a female song. I found these in the library…"

Jesse looked down, scanning the titles quickly.

_You Belong With Me- Taylor Swift_

_Realize- Colbie Caillat_

_Invisible- Taylor Swift_

_1234 I Love You- Plain White Ts_

_What Hurts the Most- Cascada_

Okay, what I weird array of songs. Jesse's brows furrowed and Kurt started talking quickly, seizing the Taylor Swift sheet music and starting to explain it quickly, motioning with his hands. Jesse nodded, but his thoughts travelled back to Rachel.

What was he going to do about her and Shelby? It was obvious that Shelby was dying to have them on the team, who could really blame her? With him and Rachel heading the group they would be unstoppable. Again he felt the slight, but obvious tug to join them once again and he shook his head quickly. But Rachel… he would never open her up to that kind of treatment, it would be cruel.

And what about the baby, what was he going to do about the baby? Even though Rachel was obviously starting to feel for the baby, she seemed to have no idea what was going to happen when she finally gave birth. And when would they tell everyone? She was already starting to show, it could only be a matter of time.

"Jesse?" Looking up, startled, he saw that Kurt was now stood and looking at him expectantly.

"Sorry Kurt, I kind of blanked out there, what were you saying?"

Kurt shook his head. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Jesse rubbed a hand along his forehead, casting Kurt an apologetic glance. "Sorry, I just have… things on my mind."

"Girls hey?" Kurt came to lean next to him and Jesse noticed that he wasn't that much taller than Rachel.

"Yeah… well, one girl."

"Rachel?"

Jesse nodded, sighing a little.

"Girls, they can be such a pain at times."

"No, she's not a pain, I just worry about her."

"Uh huh." Kurt raised an eyebrow and nodded. "You know, maybe you should take some time out from worrying about girls. Don't they normally like it when you give them space… but not too much? Picky, picky, picky…"

Jesse nodded, realization dawning on him. "Too much space." He repeated and then turned to Kurt. "Look, can we postpone this to another day? I really need to go and talk to Rachel."

"Oh… well I didn't really mean…" Kurt started, but Jesse smiled, patting his shoulder and saying.

"Thank a lot Kurt, you've been a massive help."

"Wait Jesse…" The door slammed shut behind him and Kurt was left standing on the stage alone.

Xxx

Rachel was surprised to find that Jesse was not in the choir room when she arrived. He was normally there early, reading through his well thumbed _'Sounds of Sondheim' _book. Shrugging to herself, she sat down and started to flick through her most recently acquired Barbra Streisand book. She jumped when a voice next to her said, lazily.

"I don't know why you bother."

"Excuse me?" She turned to see Kurt next to her. "You shouldn't sneak up on people."

"I said that you shouldn't bother."

"With what exactly?" She snapped, slamming her book shut and turning to face him.

"With reading that, you're never going to be as big as Barbra." Kurt sneered, his mouth twisting.

"And how would you know that?" Rachel demanded, a flush creeping up her neck.

"Oh please Rachel, you're from _Ohio_. You're just a big headed nobody with a loud voice," He cast her a glance before adding. "And no fashion sense."

Rachel's eyebrows shot up. "How dare you say that? Need I remind you who won our diva off last year?"

"Oh please, I meant to loose. And winning one little diva off does not make you a star Rachel."

"Kurt! This behaviour is not necessary okay, I get it, you're jealous of my superior musical knowledge. But I'm perfectly happy to help you out you know." Rachel smiled at him in what she hoped did not come across as smugness.

Kurt's previously calm exterior shattered and he stalked a step towards her. "What did you just say?"

"Kurt. My music knowledge is superior to yours okay, I understand."

Kurt's face was almost terrifying and Rachel took a step backwards as he approached her.

"You are a naive selfish little girl who knows nothing about the real world Rachel. You are so incredibly dim and childish it makes me laugh."

And suddenly her defences fell, exposing her as tears formed in her eyes, one escaping and rolled down her face as she replied, her voice soft. "I'm so much more experienced than you will ever know, Kurt Hummel. Don't you dare call me naïve. Not ever again." Her voice broke over the last word and she grabbed her bag, rushing from the room as tears started to torrent down her cheeks.

There was silence in the choir room. Santana, Mercedes, Artie and Tina who had been watching the exchange with wide eyes glanced at each other nervously. Kurt stood in the middle of the room, his breathing heavy, startled to find that his opponent had suddenly disappeared and in her place stood her very angry boyfriend.

Jesse's face was strangely cold, hard and angry as he shot them all a painfully scornful glance, before following after Rachel.

Slumping back into his seat, Kurt suddenly wondered whether he had just got himself into hot water

**Xxx**

**Hey guys- no I have not disappeared from the face of the Earth, I am still here, I am still alive… no worries. :) **

**Sorry for the wait, I simultaneously got a bad cold and a huge work load, so I came home, worked for like an hour, crawled into bed for two hours, crawled back out to eat and crawled back in again. It was not a nice existence. **

**But I did love my Glee concert, thank you for all your messages about that! It was absolutely astoundingly wonderful and I am now the proud owner of a red foam finger! Yay! **

**I am starting to get withdrawal symptoms from Glee, but fortunately it's by birthday soon (18****th**** of July- note the date!) and I am slightly obsessed with next to normal, the amazing musical so I'm distracting myself!**

**Okay, I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and there's something I've been meaning to try out recently. I really want to have you guys follow me on twitter, I was thinking I can give hints and extracts about the upcoming chapters and upcoming stories and tell you more about the progression and **_**possible**_** sequels... Also when my update is late you guys can kick me up to butt and I'll be able to get your feedback more easily and stuff. I'm called DreamsofRay and I would love it if you guys could maybe tell me in your review or a PM whether you're going to follow me, and if you are what your name is :)**

**Okay, that is all for now folks :) **

**Please review, maybe about 9 before I update? **

**Much love to all my reviewers for the last chapter: tomfeltonlover1991, Bexia, nanuvamp, noyourghost, TVHollywoodDiva, Missbroadwayboundfanfic, northstar61, Bueller, seacat03, Klainebrittanalove, Lynn, Likewow5556, aulaes95 and SlyPuff RavenDoor. **

**As always, it's so great to see you guys who are the regulars and I cannot thank you enough for sticking around for so long and reviewing EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER. You guys are amazing, It's also really nice to see you new guys who I haven't seen around much before, hopefully this means we are attracting a larger St Berry fan base? I hope so :)**

**Okay, that is officially the end of my REALLY long A.N. **

**Don't forget about twitter please, it'll be embarrassing if y'all reject me now ;)….. secretly I'm really worried you will. **

**Okay. I'm going. **

**Goodbye my lovely readers!**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter. **

**Shutting up. Leaving. Going. Going. **

**Gone.**

**Love **

**Ray **

**xxx**


	24. Chapter 23

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

That evening Rachel lay next to Jesse on his bed, kissing him softly as _The Guilty Ones,_ played gently in the background. He groaned a little as she moved away finally and pulled her closer to him, determined not to loose the warmth of her body next to his.

She giggled a little and kissed his earlobe softly. "Jesse?" She asked, quietly.

"Mmm?" He replied.

"I saw Shelby the other day," She confessed, as her fingers curled his hair gently around in spirals.

"What?" Jesse turned to face her, his heart spiking and then hammering in his chest.

"Yeah," She continued, oblivious to his obvious anxiety.

"Where, when?"

"She was down the street, leaning on her car and watching the school gates as I drove away. That evening when you had to practice." She moved up to kiss him softly again and then sighed, catching sight of the time. "I'd better go, my dads wanted to eat dinner with me tonight and play board games."

"Uh huh," Jesse answered, distractedly. "Okay, I'll see you later then."

"You could come along if you want," Rachel offered, starting down the stairs.

"No," The hurt expression on her face made him realise how blunt he'd been. "Not that I wouldn't love to," He added quickly. "I just have to meet up with someone."

"Really, who?" Rachel curiosity peaked.

"Just… Sam, he wanted my opinions on some songs."

"Oh, okay," She smiled at him and he returned it with a lopsided grin.

"See you later," He pulled the front door shut behind them and leaned down to kiss her chastely, before hurrying away to his car.

"Jesse?" Her voice stopped him and he turned, hiding his clenched fists behind his back. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine." He answered, throwing an easy grin in her direction as he clambered into his car and gave her one last wave, leaving quickly.

He had many near-miss accidents on his way, swerving dangerously into the parking lot of Carmel High School. He was glad to see that there were still Vocal Adrenaline cars in the lot, which meant they were obviously in the middle of practice. Good.

Clambering out quickly, he slammed the door loudly and made his way into the deserted school, walking quickly through the corridors and bursting through the doors to the auditorium with the exact theatrical effect he had been counting on. The music slowed and stopped as the members of Vocal Adrenaline, who were in the middle of rehearsing a number, faltered and turned to look at him. A wave of mutters flowed through the room and Shelby, who had yet to turn around and notice him, snapped into her microphone.

"Did I say it was time for a break? Why the hell have you all stopped? This isn't a sorority meeting you know?"

"You can't be in here, this is a closed practice." Adrian shouted up to him and Shelby turned, her eyes widening hopefully as she spotted Jesse, before falling into a frown when she saw his thunderous gaze.

"Jesse?" She asked. He approached her, leaving a good metre between them.

"How dare you?" His voice was low, almost a growl.

"What?"

"I asked, how dare you? How dare you follow Rachel, corner her, first at the restaurant, now after school?" He was shouting now. "I already told you no Shelby!"

"Jesse you_ called_ me Jesse." Shelby replied, scathingly. She glanced down at the watching students and motioned to Jesse. "Come on." She led him into her office and shut the door firmly behind them, swinging the blind shut.

"Shelby, you are taking this too far," He warned. "She doesn't want to leave, I don't want to leave, let it go!"

"Why did you stop me from talking to her?" Shelby demanded.

"Because I _know _you Shelby. You hurt people. People get involved with you and they get thrown in at the deep end and if they aren't strong enough to swim, you just let them drown. I don't doubt that Rachel is strong enough for you, she is stronger than you will ever know, but I am not putting her in the line of fire, I am not _willingly_ letting her be hurt by you."

"If I really hurt people that much, why did I get you that scholarship to UCLA?" Shelby challenged, raising one, sleek eyebrow.

He bristled. "_You _didn't get me that scholarship to UCLA Shelby, _I_ did. Because _I_ am talented okay?"

"I have tutored you, guided you through your years here."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I know and I'm not denying that you have tutored me and how much you have helped me. But I'm done here Shelby, I like it at McKinley and yes, some of that is to do with Rachel. So thank you for everything and I will never regret my time here, my time with you. But… I'm not coming back and neither is Rachel."

"But Jesse," He recognised the change in her tone immediately, the change to that wheedling, smooth voice that made him instantly alert. "You could never win Nationals at McKinley. You'll have a perfect record."

"There's no telling whether we'll win Nationals or not Shelby."

"If you leave there are quite a few strings I could pull, a few favours I could call in," Her eyes glinted maliciously. "I know how desperate you are to get out of Ohio, I could take the scholarship away from you in a heartbeat Jesse."

He scoffed, trying to push away the immense fear that her comment had caused. "No you couldn't Shelby, I earned that scholarship and I can tell when you're bluffing. You _taught_ me to bluff after all."

Her eyes widened, her brows creasing in desperation.

"You can't leave me Jesse, think of everything I've done for you!"

"Watch me," He snapped, pushing open the door.

"You can't keep my daughter away from me!"

He froze, his whole body becoming ridged as his eyes widened. After a moment he slowly turned to face Shelby staring at her, taking in her unmoving form.

"What?" He managed to choke out, staring at her.

"I'm Rachel's mother," She replied, her voice so soft he had to strain to hear it.

"Her… her birth mother?" Jesse stuttered, putting a hand out to grasp the door frame, steadying himself.

"Yes," Shelby murmured and Jesse gazed at her.

Now he knew what he was looking for, he could see the resemblance. Shelby's long hair was just a tone darker than Rachel's and both had the same shine and light curls and flicks. Looking at Shelby's large, cold eyes, he saw the similarity to Rachel, the size, although not the colour, Rachel's warm, chocolate eyes would never be capable of such hardness. They were both quite small, creamy skin that made him smile. Their lips were both large, plump and pouting, hiding equally incredible voices. Now that he looked for it, he could see it all.

"Jesse?" Shelby's hoarse voice cut through the silence.

"You gave up Rachel?" He asked finally.

"Yes, but I had no other choice," She sat heavily in her chair and he moved back to lean against the wall opposite her, watching her with a steely gaze. "I needed money." She started, suddenly, her voice a throaty whisper. "I had thought that I would be a huge success on Broadway. I left school early, used up all my savings and my mom hated it, she wanted me to be a journalist like her, or something like that. But I left school and went to live it up in New York. When things didn't immediately go as planned I got a small job, as a waitress, but I needed money. So I borrowed from a online firm. But… I couldn't pay it off, not in the end."

She heaved a shuddering breath and looked up at him for a second before looking down again. "My mom got cancer and I had to come back down to Ohio, pay for the bills. Leroy and Hiram, Rachel's dads, they were nice guys. They offered me enough cash to pay off the debts, pay for my mom's treatment and tide me over during the pregnancy. So, I said I would, I never expected it to be so hard to give her up. I always thought that I would think of the prize, of the money and I would never need anything else, that I wouldn't care. But then… I looked into her tiny face, with her huge brown eyes. And I cried. I cried and cried and cried until I could cry no more. She was so beautiful, but I figured she would be fine… and that I would be fine too," She snorted bitterly and Jesse was alarmed to see a lone tear trickle down her sharp face. "I watched her grow up, saw her in some of her talent shows. She was so talented and she grew up to be so beautiful. I saw her at her Sectionals and I heard about you and her and I thought you could perhaps… introduce me."

"Why didn't you just go and find her yourself?" Jesse asked, quietly.

"I had a contract that I signed. I can't meet her until she's eighteen."

"Then how would this even work?" Jesse snapped.

"I can if _she_ meets _me_," Shelby explained and then glanced up to meet her gaze with a strange, clouded one of her own. "That's where you come in."

Jesse's expression darkened. "You want to use me." It wasn't a question.

"Not in that sense, but Jesse you can help us meet and then you can both come over to Vocal Adrenaline."

Jesse turned quickly, clenching his fists at his sides. "Shelby, I just told you. We _don't_ want to join Vocal Adrenaline."

"You could change your mind," Shelby reasoned. "Will you at least talk to her for me Jesse?"

"I… I don't know, I'll get back to you okay?" Turning he slammed out of the dark office without letting her say a word against it.

**Xxx**

Rachel noticed immediately how brooding Jesse became. His was sullen and thoughtful, but when she questioned him about it, his show face would snap back in place and he would smile and shake his head, telling her not to worry.

He made up with Kurt, forgiving him for the argument he had had with Rachel. He was too distracted to fight the arrangement and didn't think too much of it. They practiced some more, never really deciding on a song. It wasn't long until Kurt noticed how out of it Jesse was too.

"Are you okay?" He asked, setting down his sheet music and looking up at Jesse.

"Yeah I'm fine," Jesse responded, sighing a little.

"Well… do you want to practice over the weekend because I have this fantastic new low fat ice cream we can try out and watch some movies?"

"No," Jesse shook his head. "I can't this weekend Kurt, I have some friends coming over from California."

Jesse had been a little nervous of telling Rachel that Lauren and Johnny were coming to visit. He knew that she liked Johnny well enough, but the truth was that she had only met him once and she didn't know a whole lot about Lauren.

However, when he had finally told her she had seemed rather happy, she had smiled brightly and asked.

"Really? When are they coming? Will they stay with you?"

"Yeah," Jesse smiled, relieved that she seemed to be taking this well. "They'll stay at mine. This weekend."

"This weekend?" She looked thoughtful and pulled out her phone, scrolling to the dedicated calendar she kept. She cringed. "I was going to talk to you about that, my dads are going out and they were wondering whether I could stay with you that night because they won't be back until around three in the morning."

"You can stay," He smiled at her. "Of course you can."

"Will you have room?" She asked, frowning.

"Yeah," He smiled. "My Uncle's got three bedrooms so it'll be fine."

"Fantastic," She grinned at him. "Well, if you're sure then?"

"Yes, perfectly sure," He replied and then began kissing her neck softly, making her immediately forget what they were talking about as she pulled him closer.

A few days later, Rachel loaded her overnight bag into the back of Jesse's Range Rover and kissed her dads goodbye, hugging them tightly and promising to keep in contact. Climbing into Jesse's car beside him, she smiled and the boy next to her, who grinned mischievously.

"Sing along?" He asked and switched his iPod on shuffle.

As they got closer to Jesse's home, he noticed that Rachel became quieter and quieter until she was barely mumbling the words, sighing he pulled the car over at the side of the road. She looked up at him, asking in alarm.

"What's wrong?"

"The engine must have cut out," He shrugged and she looked around, panic stretching across her features.

"Jesse! What are we gonna do?"

"What's wrong?" He asked, directly, turning in his seat to look at her. He could feel the accusation resting on his lips as he gazed at her unwaveringly.

"The engine's cut out!" She cried.

"No, I mean what's wrong with you?"

She froze for a moment, before glancing away for a second. "I don't know what you mean."

"Sure you do," He replied, calmly. Taking her chin gently in his hand he directed her up to look at him, staring down at her chocolate eyes and asking, more softly this time. "Tell me?"

"I…" She cut herself off, meeting his gaze for the first time before asking, her was almost too quiet for him to catch. "I know you like me… but what if they don't, I know you've told them about the baby," He smiled as he heard her voice caress the word, wrap around it and strain over it, unconsciously he was sure. "Will they judge me for it?"

"Of course not!" He was shocked in immobilisation for a moment, before continuing. "Rache, they'll love you, I promise."

"You're sure of this?"

"Completely, one hundred percent, sure. I'll even risk my hair for it."

"Your hair!" Rachel's eyes snapped up to his perfectly styled curls.

"Yes, even these divine, luscious locks will go on the line." He smiled at her and was glad to see some of the tension flow from her shoulders as she giggled.

"I'll hold you to that," She replied.

"Is that a threat Miss Berry?"

"Nope, it's a promise."

He laughed raucously and leant down to turn on the engine.

"Wait, the engine's not broken?" She asked, her eyes snapping to him with a hard glance. "Of course not, I take good care of _my _vehicles."

She scowled, whacking him playfully on the arm. "It was one crash okay? I'd only had a license for a week! It barely hurt it."

"You had to have it re painted Rache." He replied, deadpan, pulling out carefully, knowing it would be dramatically ironic if he were to crash now.

"I just didn't like the horrible green it was painted before the crash okay, it was a complete coincidence!"

**Xxx**

**For those of you who are asking about the baby etc, I'm thinking about that. I promise you that by the time the story ends, the baby will have come okay, that's all I'm saying. **

**I know it's a bit slow atm guys, but hang on, it'll get better soon- a lot of angst is coming! Sorry for those of you that don't like angst… ;)**

**It so nice how much you guys review. You're so regular, like clock work or something and you always say such nice things. I had a crisis with this story recently (my computer decided 'oh, that's bit that Rachel's been working on for ages, let's delete it!') and I was in a bit of a rut, but I just read loads of your reviews again, and it's helped so much- so thank you!**

**Tank you to those of you who reviewed the last chapter: soul-full-of-music, MidnightMoon2, northstar61, Likewow5556, aulaes95, Lynn, Bexia (it wasn't harsh! It was fine and thank you so much for your PPS, you're awesome too :) ), TVHollywoodDiva, Klainebrittanalove, CupcakeQueen23 (great name by the way ;) ), Kkaty, nanuvamp, rileysradcliff (keep reading to find out), AlexisLovesGlee and tomfeltonlover1991.**

**As always, you guys are AMAZING. **

**Hey, if you're following me on twitter, give me a little nudge or something if you want info, I don't really want to say random stuff about my stories if I don't know anyone is listening!**

**Love you all, as always. **

**Ray**

**xxx **


	25. Chapter 24

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**IMPORTANT NOTE: The observant amongst you will have noticed my change of pen name. Indeed, I am now DreamsofRay, instead of candyflossgirl, do not be confused :) **

**xxx**

Jesse pulled open Rachel's door, holding out a hand to help her out as she clambered from the car. Pulling her bag from the car, he carried it in one hand, taking her hand and rubbing soothing circles on her palm. She was grateful. Pulling open the door, he let her in first and she went to the kitchen, perching on the kitchen table to watch him move smoothly through the room, starting on dinner.

They sat in comfortable silence until Rachel grew restless, her mind able to wander and worry through the silence. Hoping from the table, she went to join him at the kitchen counter asking. "Anything I can help with?"

He turned and smiled at her, gesturing to the kitchen table, "set the table?" He asked and she did as he said, relaxing as the soothing and familiar motions set her at ease. Stepping back to admire her work, she jumped when the bell rang, shrill and angry, through the otherwise quiet house.

Jesse placed a lid on the pan, leaving the sauce to simmer, and took her hand again, leading her towards the door.

"That'll be our guests."

Pulling open the door, he smiled as he came to face with the two people before him. Rachel stood a little behind him, watching as the two men embraced quickly and nibbled her lip nervously. She was normally very confident when it came to meeting new people, but these were Jesse's friend. They thought a lot of Jesse and Jesse thought a lot of them, it was important that she make a good impression. Next to Johnny, she spotted a tall, fair girl, who's grey/blue eyes were watching the two boys with a strange mixture of amusement and exasperation. Her long, pin straight mousy hair hung about her slim shoulders and she was a little taller than Rachel.

Noticing Rachel, she smiled and Rachel offered a tentative smile in return.

"Rachel!" Looking up, she saw Johnny striding towards her, and she smiled at him.

"Hi Johnny, it's nice to see you again. Thank you so much, for everything."

"No problem, you guys had winner kick their asses!" Johnny laughed loudly.

"That's the plan," Rachel replied, smiling at him.

"Oh, Rachel," Lauren had appeared beside Johnny and Johnny placed his arm around her as he said. "This is my girlfriend, Lauren."

"Hi," Rachel smiled warmly. "It's nice to meet you, I've heard a lot about you."

"Same," Lauren smiled in return. "Johnny says that Jesse never shuts up about you."

"Oi!" Jesse cried, "careful what you say Lauren, I'm supposed to be feeding you, remember?"

She laughed gaily, shrugging. "You would never let me starve Jesse."

"You wanna test that?" He joked, pulling them through to the kitchen.

**Xxx**

The next day Jesse suggested they split up for the morning. He and Johnny needed to catch up and have a 'man to man', something that made both of the girls snigger, and Lauren needed to get to a mall and buy some birthday presents. Despite shopping not being her favourite activity, Rachel agreed to accompany the dancer, hoping to bond with her.

When they finally stopped for lunch and were sat with their sandwiches in front of them, they started talking.

"I hear you dance?" Rachel started and Lauren nodded.

"Yes, ballet is my forte, I dance with a group and we do tours. Johnny told me you want to be on stage."

"Uh… yeah." Rachel nodded, taking a small bite from her sandwich and chewing slowly. "I hope to but…"

"But it might not be possible in your situation?" Lauren asked and Rachel looked up, frowning. "Johnny told me, I hope you don't mind. He and Jesse share everything and Johnny just told me one night."

"Oh, okay." Rachel let her hand slip down to her stomach before looking up and frowning a little. "I don't know… it's all so confusing."

"I can imagine, I'm really sorry." Lauren finished her sandwich swiftly. But you can do anything you want you know? This won't stop you."

"I'm hoping not." Rachel sighed, sipping her water.

"You worry about it," Lauren stated.

"I worry about everything… when am I going to tell everyone?"

"No one knows yet?" Lauren's eyebrows shot up.

"I cant work up the courage." Rachel admitted, colouring a little. "I worry about what I'm going to do once the baby's born. What will Jesse do?"

"Jesse will stick by you." Lauren replied, confidently.

"You think so?"

"I know so, I've never seen a man so infatuated in all of my life." Lauren laughed and Rachel joined in slowly, feeling a slight weight lift itself from her shoulders.

Back at the house, Jesse was finally conceding victory.

"_Fine, _you win."

Johnny laughed loudly and sprang up from the sofa, dancing manically. "Woo! I knew I could beat you! In your face St James!" He crowed happily.

Jesse rolled his eyes, throwing his remote down and sighing a little. "It's only _Guitar Hero _Johnny."

"That's not what you were saying when you won that first game!" Johnny retorted, his victory dance slowing.

Jesse shook his head again, but decided not to answer, saying instead. "Whatever, want some food?"

Johnny nodded, swaggering behind him into the kitchen as he replied. "Hell yes, I need something to keep me hyped… ready to whip your ass yet again."

Jesse didn't reply, only rolling his eyes again and chucking the boy a bag in crisps. "Here, eat that before you make me deaf."

Johnny laughed and tore into the packet, eating hungrily. "So, how're things going with Rachel then?"

"Good," Jesse nodded, biting into his apple. "But… I found something interesting out the other day."

"Oh?" Johnny looked up, his eyes sparking with interest.

"Yeah… you remember I told you about Shelby?"

"She went all creepy stalker on you guys," He confirmed. "Sure I remember."

"Well, I confronted her." Jesse sighed, aiming carefully and throwing the apple core straight in the bin. "And, long story short, she ended up telling me that… she's Rachel's birth mother."

Watching Johnny carefully Jesse suppressed an amused smirk as Johnny's mouth dropped open and thanked God that he had not been chewing at the time. It was nice to be able to tell someone, over the last few days, he had felt like he had been carrying around a huge weight over the past few days. Telling Johnny was just the relief he needed.

"What did she want you to do about it?" Johnny finally asked, once he had levered his mouth shut.

"She wanted me to reunite them, I think. Then she wants us to join V.A, you can't blame her," He added as an afterthought. "With us as the leads they would be unstoppable."

"Are you going to?" Johnny asked, screwing the empty packet up in his fist.

"No," Jesse replied immediately. "At least, I don't think I am. Not right now anyway. I mean, her dads haven't told her until now and there must be a reason for that. Plus, Shelby isn't the nicest person, what would she do once she found out about the baby?"

"Fair enough man, but doesn't Rachel have the right to know?"

"I suppose she does… I don't know, I'm going to give it a while, think it over."

"What's Rache decided to do about the baby?" Johnny asked, jumping off the counter and starting back in to the living room.

"I'm not sure about that either." Jesse shrugged, following. "It's her decision, it's her baby. I'm not the child's father."

"Yeah, but come on man, you might as well be, you're the boyfriend." Johnny grabbed up the remote, completely missing Jesse's shocked expression.

"But… I'm not the father." Jesse finally managed to reply. "It's her choice." He repeated.

"I suppose not… But she values your opinion doesn't she? She'll want your input. What do you want her to do with the baby?"

"I don't know… I haven't really thought about what I want her to do… more what she'll do."

"Well, you should think about it, now get yourself ready for me to beat you _again_."

"You wish," Jesse scoffed, settling down with his remote and grinning, trying to push the worried from his mind.

**Xxx**

Jesse's rehearsals with Kurt became more frequent as they approached the date they were to perform. On Thursday Rachel performed with Brittany and that evening she breathed a sigh of relief as she and Jesse curled up together on the couch, his arm slung around her shoulders.

"I'm glad that's over," She groaned. "If I ever have to go with Brittany again I may just take a week off school until it's over."

He laughed a little and pulled her closer, rubbing her arm comfortingly. "It can't have been that bad."

"It was!" She cried, throwing her hands in the air in disgust. "There's no way we'll win, you and Kurt will probably hammer it, after all, Mr Schue's pushed your slot back to next Monday, you have to whole of this weekend to practice." She glanced up at him, her eyes narrowing. "I should warn you, if you spend all weekend with Kurt, I'll be cross."

He chuckled a little. "I know you will."

"Not that you'd want to spend the whole weekend with Kurt anyway." She grumbled, settling into the crook of his arms.

"He's not that bad," His hands ran gently through her hair, being torn away when she looked at him, her expression stunned indignation.

"What?" She snapped, glaring at him.

"Yeah, I mean, I know you and he have your differences but honestly I don't think he's that bad, he's always very nice to me." Jesse shrugged, his brows creasing when he saw the slight change in her expression. "Rache, what's wrong?"

She took a breath to shout at him, to scream with horrified fury, before snapping her mouth shut and shaking her a little. "Nothing" she muttered, "there's nothing wrong."

"Okay…" He frowned at her a little. "I'm going to go home and do a little homework, want to come?"

"No…" She shook her head, avoiding his gaze. "No, I'll see you tomorrow okay?"

"Okay." He agreed, still frowning, but deciding not to push it. She walked him to the door and he bent to give her a swift kiss before leaving, hoping that by the morning she would be back to normal.

Xxx

The worry Rachel felt from the strange Kurt/Jesse relationship was pushed aside when, Friday morning, her daddy entered the room, his hand shaking a little and his eyes glazed over.

"Daddy?" She noticed him first, looking at him over her breakfast. The scraping of her chair made her papa look up, turning to glance at the other man.

"Leroy?" He asked blankly, taking a step towards him.

"She's coming," He told them, completely expressionless.

There was complete silence until finally Rachel said, a little breathless.

"Aunt Veronica?"

The only answer was a nod.

"What?" Hiram finally breathed. "Why? When…?"

"Tonight, she's staying all weekend." Leroy spluttered out and Rachel quickly pulled out a chair for her father to slump into.

"Why now?" Hiram asked, sitting heavily in the chair opposite Leroy.

Leroy shrugged, dejectedly. "Who knows why that woman does anything?"

Rachel moved around the table to lean against her papa's chair, her face considerably whiter.

"What…" She broke off, swallowing as her parents looked up at her. "What are we going to do about…?" Her hands fell her cup her stomach and she watched as Leroy's jaw tightened.

"We can't tell her." He said, flatly and the other two nodded in agreement. A knock on the door broke the silence and Rachel started, glancing as she spoke, her voice dazed and slow.

"That'll be Jesse, I didn't realise how late it was… I'd better go," She stopped half way towards the door. "Will she be here when I get back?"

Leroy shook his head and she breathed a silent sigh of relief, leaving the room as Hiram called, faintly.

"Have a good day at school."

Opening the door she found herself confronted with Jesse, whose features were softened with gentle concern.

"Everything okay?" He asked, quietly, sensing the sombre atmosphere.

"I'll explain in the car," She muttered, pulling the door shut behind her and clambering into Jesse's car.

Sitting beside her, he started the engine and drove silent, purposefully not pressing her and waiting for her to speak first.

Finally she did. "My Aunt's coming to visit."

"Isn't that a good thing?" He asked softly. "I thought you loved your aunt."

"Only my papa's sister." She replied, quietly. "On my daddy's side," She shivered involuntarily.

He caught the movement and frowned, reaching over to squeeze her hand gently. "She cant be that bad."

"She disapproves of everything. Me, my dads, my home, my grades, my singing. Especially my singing."

"How can she disapprove of your singing?" Jesse cried, his frown deepening. "You're brilliant."

"She doesn't think Broadway is a suitable careers choice," Rachel confessed as they pulled into the school parking lot, smiling a little when he scoffed. "She doesn't approve of me living with two men, so she likes to come around twice a year and check everything's okay."

Pushing open the door, Rachel got gently out and met him on the other side of the car, picking up the thread of their conversation easily as she reached out and held his hand. "She is horrible to me, horrible to my dad, horrible to anyone we know." She shuddered again. "She's vile."

"How long is she coming for?" Jesse asked, as they stopped by her locker.

"All weekend," Rachel groaned, pulling it open and shoving her books inside. She glanced up at Jesse and he was alarmed to see tears in her eyes. "You know what the worst part is?" She asked, so low he could barely hear her, even as he pulled her close. "I really want this woman to like me. But no matter what I do, she will always hate me."

"How can people hate you!" He cried, hugging her closer. "You just ignore her, okay. You know you're better than her and you don't need some old biddy's approval!"

She nodded and then sighed. "I don't know if you'll have to meet her." She confessed, softly.

Jesse squared his shoulders. "You keep me up to date Rache and I swear I'll be available to do anything you need."

Exchanging a hurried kiss they parted ways and Jesse walked alone down the crowded corridors towards his music class.

"Hey Jesse." Turning, he slowed when he spotted the smaller boy, in a strange red pant suit and red hat with a large feather, appear beside him.

"Hi Kurt," He smiled pleasantly.

"We really need to practice over the weekend, okay?" Kurt smiled winningly.

"Sure," Jesse shrugged.

"Saturday night, my place?"

He frowned, "I'm not sure Kurt, I think I might be doing something with Rachel…"

"Oh come on Jesse, one night away from her wont kill either of you. And we really need to practice, especially if we want to win." Kurt whined a little.

Jesse sighed and frowned, still hesitant.

"Come on Jesse, we can't let them beat us!" Kurt wheedled and Jesse nodded.

"Okay, I'll be there." He responded, his tone resigned.

Kurt beamed at him. "Great, I will have everything ready, don't you worry!"

Jesse sighed again as he watched the boy scamper away. Running a hand through his hair he narrowed his eyes, now he just had to find a way to explain this to Rachel.

**Xxx**

**Sorry it took me so long guys! I had my birthday and a ton of tests and all sorts of random stuff so I kept procrastinating. Oops :( But it's here now, and that's what counts. **

**Shout out to BestofLuckJo, who replied to me on twitter when I tweeted about this story just hitting 100,000 words- I said I'd post and here I am ;) **

**IMPORTANT NOTE: (for me at least) I did mention at the beginning, but I'll say it again, I have changed my screen name to DreamsofRay- please don't be confused! The story behind this? Well, simply put, candyflossgirl was developed when I was MUCH younger and felt juvenile. I've been playing around with the idea of changing for a while, but suddenly I want to, so I have ;) Also, it made sense to me to have the same pen name for YouTube, FictionPress and FanFiction (shameless plug there). **

**I'm kind of lamenting the slight lack of reviews for the last chapter, what happened guys? :( **

**Thank you to those of you who did review: StBerry Lover24, LNCrow, Likewow5556, northstar61, MissRe (many times, thank you so much ;) ), TVHollywoodDiva, nanuvamp, Klainebrittanalove, AlexisLovesGlee, auhaes55 and tomfeltonlover1991. **

**If you review before I update next, I will PM you a line from the next chapter, because I am just that lovely ;) **

**Ten reviews before I update please, because you know you want to ;) **

**Love **

**Ray **

**PS: Anyone seen the new Harry Potter? Yeah, me too… three times. I cried. A lot. **

**PPS: Who is psyched for the Glee movie? I AM! Me and my only Gleek friend are meeting up to go see it, we're ridiculously excited and if people don't sing along, we shall be disappointed. .**


	26. Chapter 25

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

Rachel ran a nervous hand through her hair again, trying to smooth down the few stray hairs that fell over her face in an almost compulsive manor. The lighting in her room was harsh and bright, allowing her to see every flaw which her aunt was definitely going to point out. She ran another nervous hand through her hair, the other hand going to fiddle nervously with the harsh white collar which stuck out against the midnight blue of her cashmere jumper.

From behind her she heard the tinkling theme tune that told her she had received a new text, but she ignored it, knowing that it would Jesse. For the first time in a long while, she didn't want to talk to him. Strangely enough she had already started to depend on him. When her papa had told her that Jesse would be able to come around on Saturday night and have dinner with them it had given her a glimmer of hope that the upcoming weekend would not be as bad as she had previously thought. But upon calling him she had been told that he couldn't come over because he had promised to practice with Kurt.

Looking back she knew she reacted badly, she didn't know if it was the pregnancy hormones, or plain old defensiveness but she had ended up shouting at him and putting the phone down.

Now though, now she didn't have time to worry about him, despite how much she wanted to.

Downstairs a sudden, insistent knocking began, disrupting the peace of the house and Rachel sighed, trying to flatten her hair one last time before she hurried downstairs.

Hovering a few steps from the bottom, she watched warily as her aunt entered, already chastising her daddy, who was smiling with gritted teeth.

"Honestly, can't you answer the door when a woman knocks, I know this is hard for you to understand but really, it is not that difficult. When a woman knocks, she expects the door to be opened!"

"Sorry Veronica, I got there as fast as I could, can I take your coat?" Leroy answered quickly, holding out an arm towards his sister.

"Well you took your time asking," She snapped back, shoving her coat and bag into his arms and turning towards Rachel as her daddy stumbled away.

Rachel cast a quick panicked glance to her papa, who shrugged in apology.

"Ahh, there you are girl, well come on, where are your manners, welcome your aunt."

Unwillingly Rachel stepped forward, embracing her aunt with a strange delicacy, wincing a little as her pointed claws dug into Rachel's back. She was engulfed in a cloud of her aunt's strange perfume, a mixture of prunes and dust, the powder from her hair puffing out.

"Uh, hey Aunt Veronica, how are you?"

"I'm well," She stepped away. "Now show me to my room."

"Of course," She hesitated over the suitcases, one of the things her doctor had told her was to not lift heavy things and she was pretty sure that her aunt's suitcase was bigger than her. Her papa moved forward to get the suitcase, saying smoothly.

"I'll show you Veronica, Rachel, go and help your father with dinner."

As she fled into the kitchen, Rachel could hear her aunt from up the stairs, croaking indignantly. "You haven't even finished dinner yet? What have you been doing all day?"

**Xxx**

A few hours later, Rachel sat opposite her aunt, pushing the last few pieces of her desert around her plate, only half listening as her aunt interrogated Leroy.

"Rachel!"

Looking up she realised her aunt had addressed her and quickly schooled her expression into a smile. "Yes Aunt Veronica?"

"Well, how's school? Have you finally managed to get anywhere? Have you even managed to attract a man yet?"

She cringed at her aunt's bluntness and hurried to answer. "School's going wonderfully thank you, my grades are very good and I'm starting to think about exams."

"Well, it's about time," Her aunt sneered, "and what about a man, have you found one yet?"

"Well, yes I have a boyfriend, he's called Jesse."

"And where is he now? How very impolite, not greeting a new member of the family!" She shook her head angrily and Rachel suppressed a snigger as she watched small pieces of dandruff splatter onto her shoulders. Her aunt turned, with a furious expression, to her dads.

"How could you let her be around this boy, he's obviously no good for her!"

"No, he's lovely Aunt Veronica, he just had to rehearse tonight." Rachel protested.

"Rehearse for what?" Her aunt demanded, her eyes narrowing. When Rachel hesitated over her words realisation dawned.

"He's got these stupid Broadway ambitions too has he, how many times do I have to tell you Rachel? You'll never get onto Broadway, it's a stupid career choice for a girl who might just have enough brains to succeed in the world. You'll never get there, I don't know why you keep trying, keep rehearsing, there's no point and you're just wasting your life dreaming something that will never become a reality! You believe that this will happen so fiercely and when you get out there into the real world, you'll suddenly realise that you don't have any talent at all, that all you've dreamed is just some fanciful nonsense cooked up by a naive little girl!"

"No… I…" Rachel could feel the tears pooling in her eyes.

"How many times do I have to tell you? Let it go, there's a whole world out there that you're missing because of your stupid dreaming!"

They all flinched as a resounding crash echoed from behind them, turning, they peered around each other to see that Leroy was leaning down to pick up shattered pieces of china. Aunt Veronica immediately began chastising him and Rachel glanced at her papa and was surprised to see him motioning towards the door. She needed no further encouragement and silently slipped from the room, going upstairs and shutting her door quietly behind her. Leaning back on it she took a long, deep breath and let one tear slip from her eyes and trail slowly down her face.

Falling onto her bed, she reluctantly picking up her phone and keyed in his number without thinking.

"Rache?" He picked up immediately.

"I'm sorry," She spluttered and his tone became more concerned.

"For what? What's wrong?"

"For shouting at you, it was mean of me," She explained, falteringly.

"What?" He asked again, sounding slightly less panicked. "No you don't have to apologise Rache, I understand. What happened?"

"Oh just my aunt, you don't need to worry about coming round any more though."

"Why not?"

"She has officially decided she doesn't like you because you didn't come around tonight and greet her." Rachel rolled her eyes, grabbing a fluffy cushion and hugging it close to her chest.

"Huh… I suppose that's… fair?"

"Not at all, but that's life." She laughed a little.

"Well, your aunt seems like a joy and, as much as I would love to sit and chat to you all night, I've got some stuff to be getting on with, I'll talk to you later yeah?"

"Sounds good," She smiled. "It's a date."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

She sighed as she clicked the phone shut and, after a moment, reached out to grab the small glass trophy from her most recent conquest in the singing world and clutched it tightly to her chest, eventually falling into a fitful slumber.

**Xxx**

It was late Saturday evening when Jesse's phone next rang. He was half way through warming up with Kurt, leaning against the boy's small piano and singing runs with him when his phone started buzzing madly. Glancing down, he saw Rachel's name and his eyes widened a little, casting Kurt an apologetic smile and stepping away as he answered.

"Hey,"

"Are you free, please say you're free?" She sounded strangely excited.

"What? Rache?" He frowned a little, missing the way Kurt rolled his eyes.

"I got out of it!"

"Got out of what?" He asked, still trying to hear her properly as he pressed his free hand to his other ear.

"Dinner with my vicious, manipulative aunt silly! I told her I had a study group." She seemed completely high on the idea.

"Well, I can't I have to practice with Kurt. Try Quinn?" He suggested.

"Oh," The sudden fall in her voice was almost devastating and he sighed as the guilt seeped through his veins. "I already tried her, she's with Puck. It's fine, I'll just tell my aunt the study group was cancelled."

"Rache-" He tried, hating the way her voice lacked the excitement and energy from earlier.

"No, it's fine," She insisted unconvincingly and then added, her voice low. "Have a nice night."

He went to argue, but was met with only the dialling tone. Sighing he shoved the phone in his pocket and turned back to Kurt, who was texting someone on his own sleek Blackberry.

"More Rachel problems?" Kurt asked, rising one eyebrow.

"Yeah, I kind of left her hanging this time though." He shook his head, trying to forget about Rachel. "Shall we?" He gestured to the waiting pile of books.

Kurt nodded eagerly and together they began rehearsing through their prospective song choices. However, it was easy to see that Jesse's mind was elsewhere and finally Kurt slammed his book shut, sighing loudly.

"Look," He said, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. "Just go and make up with her and come back tomorrow when you are actually ready to practice okay?"

Jesse gave him a weak smile, already half way through pulling his jacket on as Kurt spoke. "Thanks Kurt, I'll make it up to you," He promised, leaving the house quickly.

Kurt sighed and grabbed his phone, evacuating to his boudoir and lying heavily on the mountain of velvet cushions.

"What up?" Mercedes answered almost immediately.

"Mercedes, it's me." Kurt answered.

"Hey, how's operation Jesse going?"

"Not good," Kurt complained.

"How so?" Mercedes demanded.

"He will not stop thinking about Rachel."

"Whoa," Mercedes shook her head a little, looking up from sifting through her magazine. "That girl must seriously have done something to him because there aren't many guys that can't stop thinking about Rachel Berry."

**Xxx**

Sitting at her desk, skimming through old MySpace posts, Rachel couldn't seem to settle. She drifted from doing one thing to another, unable to commit as the night wore on. She sighed a little as the video she was watching came to an end and was just beginning to contemplate just turning in for the night when a light, irregular tapping started.

Frowning, she got up and looked around, searching for the source of the sound as she made her way towards her window, her eyes widening when she realised someone was through gravel at it.

Hurrying now, she peered out of it first and, when unable to see anything, pushed it open slowly, poking her head out and calling, in a faltering voice.

"Who's there? I carry a rape whistle you know!"

"Easy," A quiet voice from below her made her jump, glancing down to see an easily recognisable figure shrouded in darkness. "I come in peace."

"Jesse?" She hissed.

"Were you expecting someone else?"

She rolled her eyes and tried to suppress the smile attempting to push her lips apart, chastising him softly. "Do you know quite how cliché this is?"

"Does it bother you?" He responded.

"No," She laughed a little and stepped back, watching with growing alarm as he climbed up the pergola beneath her window, her eyes widening as he held out his hands towards her.

"What…?" She trailed off, her eyebrows furrowing as she stared questioningly at him.

"What, did you think I was going to risk bumping into your aunt?" He grinned, grabbing one of her hands and asking, playfully. "You ready?"

"Wait Jesse-"

It was too late, he'd already grabbed her window sill and slung himself into the room with uncommon awkwardness, stumbling over his feet and falling into her, pushing them both onto the bed.

She giggled and he smiled at her, his eyes suddenly smouldering as he pushed upwards, so that his body was just hovering over hers and pressing against her.

Heat swept up her neck, causing a quick flush to colour her cheeks as he leant down to ravish her neck with quick fiery kisses. A gasp caught in her throat and she pushed him away, wheeling away from under him to swing the window shut. Turning back, she found him lying on her bed, patting the space beside him invitingly. She willingly went to him, going to lie beside him and leant up next to him, asking.

"Did your rehearsal finish this early?"

"No," He replied, then met her eyes with a soft expression. "But I couldn't let you suffer."

She smiled and then her eyebrows shot up. "I'm guessing Kurt wasn't best pleased?"

"Probably not but…" He moved closer to her again, pushing her back gently until her back hit the soft comforter and he went to hover over her again. "I'm sure he'll get over it." He murmured, before pressing his lips down on hers. She returned the kiss with just as much passion, her hands tangling in his hair as their bodies met with a tingle of fervour that was so great you could almost taste it in the air.

Gasping, Rachel moved away, sucking in much needed air as Jesse moved to kiss down her throat again. She breathed out a heavy sigh of pleasure and his hands slipped down to rest on her thighs, tingles shooting through her skin. Her mind was heavy , clouded by the scent of him. It was as if each touch was electric, every nerve standing on edge and each sensation tangible. His lips met her again and she strained to pull him closer still, craving his touch on her as if it were oxygen. A strange need filled her and she groaned softly into his mouth as their lips fought for dominance, his forehead occasional brushing hers, making her shiver with excitement.

"Rachel!" The shrill cry wasn't far away and she gasped, breaking away from him as he began to kiss down her arms now.

"Stop a second," She managed to whisper and he looked up, her arm still in his grip, his hair dishevelled and his eyes wide.

"Rachel?" The cry came again and now that she listened closer she could hear the thudding footsteps as her aunt ascended the stairs.

"Quickly!" She pushed him off the bed hurriedly, pushing him into the bathroom and shutting the door as her aunt barged in.

"What in the world were you doing up here?" Her aunt snapped, gazing over her messy clothing and the wrinkled bed sheets.

"Oh, I, uh, fell asleep on the bed," Rachel forced out a laugh, although her heart was pounding so hard that she was certain her aunt could hear it.

"Careless," Her aunt muttered, before saying. "I just came in to tell you that I'm going to bed and not to disturb me, understood?"

"Of course," Rachel answered quickly and her aunt sniffed with irritation and waddled back out again. "Goodnight to you too," Rachel muttered, pushing the door shut and going to the bathroom, opening up the door quickly and looking in.

Jesse glanced up at her, smiling when he met her nerve stricken gaze. Moving swiftly, he embraced her in a quick hug and bent down to murmur in her ear. "Too close?"

"Way too close," She agreed, pulling away a little.

"Next time," He promised, leading her back towards the bed and sitting down on it with her. "When we're alone."

"I'll hold you to that," she muttered, although secretly she felt a slight thrill at the thought of _next time_.

**Xxx**

**Indeed, thine eyes do not deceive you! (I'm pretty sure that isn't correct :/) What I mean to say is yes, this is the second update in the same number of days… yay. **

**However, this is sort of an 'I'm sorry' chapter as well, because after today there is a three week stretch until I can post again: I know, disaster! **

**On a side note, however, I will be able to write a lot this holiday and also, this holiday will greet the one year anniversary of the story… another yay. Yes, it's been a year since I started (on and off) writing this story. Which is sort of depressing because I was hoping it'd be done by now and it is far from it but… what can you do?**

**We got past 300 reviews guys! northstar61 was the 300****th**** reviewer by the way… in case you care. **

**A quick note: There's this thing that I've been playing around with for a while, I'm thinking off doing a story with 100 one shot chapters, each inspired by one word. I have a list of words that I've got from various places and been given by people. If anyone's interested and would read it give me a shout, I'm really quite taken with the idea and I think I'm going to go for it. **

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: twilight2892, northstar61, likewow556, nanuvamp, Kkaty, TVHollywoodDiva , auhaes55, LNCrow, StBerry Lover24, SeaSerpent, Missbroadwayboundfanfic and AlexisLovesGlee!**

**Okay… hope you all enjoyed your previews!**

**Looking forward to getting back to at least 10 reviews… please? I'm just so demanding. ;)**

**Love**

**Ray **

**xxx**


	27. Chapter 26

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**Xxx**

Rachel was worried.

She knew that letting this Kurt thing play out was a bad idea, but at the time she had trusted in her abilities to hold onto Jesse. However, she was increasingly aware that as the pregnancy continued she was becoming fatter, something which she would soon have to face by telling the glee club about the baby. She was also even harder to be around and her hormones were everywhere.

Rachel knew this.

But she had presumed that Jesse didn't care, he was always kissing her stomach, even talking to the baby through the skin of her belly. He would fetch her any of her random craving foods and hold back her hair whenever the morning sickness struck, which was less often nowadays.

And even though she knew Jesse most definitely batted for her team, she couldn't help the flare of jealousy she was feeling towards Kurt. Jesse was being forced to spend more and more time with him, thanks to this stupid project and now he was telling her that he actually quite liked Kurt.

So Rachel Berry decided to take the bull by the horns, cornering Kurt in the corners on her way from second period and asking, tightly. "Can I have a quick word Kurt?"

"Fine," The boy heaved a sigh and stepped into an empty classroom, Rachel following tight lipped.

"I wanted to talk to you about Jesse." She said, standing a few paces away from him.

"What about him, he's a great partner." Kurt replied, perching on the table behind him and looking exceedingly bored.

"I know," She replied, her eyes flashing dangerously. "And I thought you could do with a reminder that he is _my _partner."

"Touché much Rachel?" He raised a finely plucked eyebrow in her direction. "Someone is a little… possessive."

"I know you want him Kurt." She stated flatly.

His eyes narrowed and he jumped smoothly off the table as he observed her. "And?" He asked finally.

"And he's my boyfriend. I'd appreciate it if you _back off_."

He smirked lazily. "Can't handle a little competition?"

"There isn't a competition Kurt. Jesse and I are together. You are nowhere in our relationship." She spat out, scowling.

"Things change Rachel."

Rachel sneered. "He definitely doesn't bat for your team Kurt."

"Well, you know what you're like Rachel, a little time spent with you could turn any straight man." Kurt laughed bitterly, pausing as he walked to the door.

"Oh, I don't think so, in fact, last Saturday he showed just how straight he really is." She smiled when she saw Kurt's expression, and knew that she had won this particular battle as the boy stormed out.

Turning, Rachel slung her bag over her shoulder and held her binder to her chest as she walked through the corridor, a smug smile lingering on her lips.

She was distracted, so it wasn't until she saw the two sneaker clad feet appear in front of her. Looking up, she was surprised to see Karaofsky, the Neanderthal football player, staring down at her. Trying to side step him, she was surprised to see one of his friends, an equally dumb, equally large football player once again stood in front of her and frowned, glancing around to see they had surrounded her.

"Can I help you?" She asked finally.

"We were just thinking how long it had been since we had a word with you glee freaks. You're their leader right?" Karaofsky's voice was mocking.

"What's it to you?" Rachel snapped, wrapping her hands around her stomach and clutching her binders closer to her.

"Nothing much, just thought you could pass on a message."

The cold ice hit her suddenly and from every direction, hammering into her as she cringed, shivering as the freezing liquid dripped down her back and her neck, making her tremble uncontrollably.

"You glee freaks stay out of our way," Karaofsky hissed, turning and taking her empty cup with him, laughing jovially as his friends followed him down the corridor.

**Xxx**

Jesse caught the door as it slammed back into him, following his peers from the calculus class he had just had and joining them as they moaned about the professor, who had decided t keep them in. Sighing a little, Jesse removed himself from his classmates, making his way down the corridor towards the choir room for afternoon Glee practice. The room was buzzing when he arrived, although Mr Schuster was still absent, along with Rachel surprisingly enough, so Jesse made his way up to the back row and settled himself in, smiling at Kurt as he passed.

"Don't forget Jesse," Kurt called as he passed. "We perform tomorrow, do you want a last run through tonight?"

"Maybe," Jesse replied, smiling and sitting in the seat beside Puck, smiling at him.

"Hey,"

"Hey dude, how you doing?"

"Fine, how's Quinn?"

Puck shrugged, "she's good, but, you know what girls are like, or their crazy emotions and shit."

"Yeah, I know," Jesse sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"How's Rachel?" Puck lowered his voice a little. "How's, you know, the little bundle?"

Jesse cocked an eyebrow at Puck's description, but nodded. "They're all fine, so far as I know, but I don't know where she is…" He glanced around the choir room again, frowning.

"Rachel?" Mike asked, glancing across at them from the seat beside Puck. "I heard she got slushied, didn't you know?"

"She got what?" Jesse asked blankly.

"Slushied." Mike repeated and in a moment Jesse was on his seat, grabbing his bag and running for the door, bumping straight into Mr Shue as he plummeted down the corridor.

"Whoa, hey Jesse-"

Jesse was already gone though, pulling himself from the teachers grip and running down the corridor. He tried the girls bathrooms first, poking his head inside and calling her name, but he was greeted only by a group of giggling freshman. Turning he ran from the room and back down the corridor again, heading towards her locker now.

She was there crumpled on the ground, her knees pulled up to her chest and drying slushy in her hair. Tear tracks ran through the thin film of sticky coloured liquid on her face and when she spoke her voice was hoarse.

"Rache?" He asked, almost helplessly, hovering over her, his hand going to touch her sticky shoulder.

"They ruined my clothes." She explained blankly.

"What?" He clambered up, going to peer in her locker, his mouth dropping open when he noticed that all of her possessions were stained a familiar deep pink shades. Reaching out, he fingered the curling edge of a book carefully, pulling his hand away quickly when he felt the stickiness.

"Rachel?" Looking up, he saw Quinn come running down the corridor, slumping to the floor and taking the sticky girl in her arms, rocking her gently. Looking up at Jesse, she asked. "What happened?"

"They slushied her," He explained. "And ruined all of her locker and all of her things."

She shook her head, pulling Rachel closer and helping her up. "I'll take her home to change. Are you coming?"

"I'll catch you up." Jesse promised, turning back to the locker.

Looking back inside the locker, he fingered the sticky items again, a slow buzzing growing in his ears as the rage he felt bubbling somewhere inside his chest. Turning, his fists clenched, he slammed her locker shut with sudden force, making the two freshmen who were passing jump up and cast him a disgruntled glanced before hurrying away. He didn't really think about where her was going, his feet leading him outside to the parking lot, where he saw Dave Karaofsky, leaning against the bonnet of a car with his football friends in a loose circle around him, laughing and joking.

And Jesse saw red.

Marching forward, he pushed the footballers apart and, ignoring their shouts of protest, stepped quickly closer to Karaofsky.

"You stay away from her." He hissed, the words escaping his mouth before he really thought.

"Who, your little girlfriend?" Kraraofsky taunted, laughing a little. "I wouldn't go near her, she deserves what she gets, being covered in slushie."

"You shut up right now Karaofsky, she's more of a man than you'll ever be!"

"Oh, is that why you two enjoy each other's company so much? You both gay?" He spat out the word and Jesse's fists clenched further.

"Strange, I've never seen you have a girlfriend Karaofsky, are you sure you're not the one who's gay?"

And suddenly he felt a blinding stab of pain through his eye. Staggering back, Jesse managed to gather his wits in time to dug as another punch was flung his way, stretching out his hand to hit Karaofsky hard in the stomach. Taking a moment to stand up straight his watching as the boy gasped for a second, before wincing as he threw another punch towards Jesse, this one catching him in his ribs and he took a step back, moving out of the way as Karaofsky ran at him, pushing the other boy to the floor and allowing his fist to connect hard with his face. Karaofsky groaned furiously and dove for Jesse, pushing him away and onto the floor, throwing himself over him and hitting everywhere that he could reach. Soon the two boys were rolling on the floor, shouting profanities to each other and it seemed hours before Jesse felt the strong arms of Mr Shue pulling him away from the other boy. Looking up, he frowned as he watched Mr Shue spin through two heavily swollen eyes. He words were slurred and seemed to make no sense, and Jesse cringed as he heard the high wailing of sirens.

More strong arms pulled him into the back of a van of some sort and then they were pushing him down, forcing him onto an uncomfortable bed and he tried to pull away, but it seemed to do no good. He couldn't feel his arms.

The people above him started to flicker and he was glad when they were extinguished by an all consuming darkness.

Finally, peace at last.

**Xxx**

It was around half an hour later that Rachel found out. She left her third class only to be confronted by strange stares and whispers. She was just beginning to think there was something in her teeth when she heard running footsteps behind her.

"Tina?" She frowned at her, taking in her team mates' unusually ruffled clothing.

"Finn told me, that Kurt told him to tell you that Jesse was in an accident."

There seemed to be a strange silence as Rachel felt the world pitch and sway around her. Grabbing Tina's shoulder to steady herself, she tried to concentrate on the girl's moving mouth, which, at this moment in time, was completely silent.

"What?" She finally managed to gasp.

"I said, apparently he was in a fight or something and he taken down to the hospital."

Then Rachel was gone, pounding down the corridor in her Mary-Jane's and leaving Tina alone in the middle of the corridor, watching her go.

**Xxx**

It took longer than Rachel would have liked to get into the hospital. Despite the fact that she was written down as one of Jesse's emergency contacts (number three, right after both of his parents, but before his old coach) the nurse still seemed determined to make her wait. After a mind numbing twenty minute wait they finally showed her up to Jesse's room, the thin nurse having to reach out and grab her arm once or twice to stop her running.

"This is it." The nurse gestured to the small room. "I'm right down the hallway."

Slowly, Rachel pushed open the door and immediately her eyes clapped sight of Kurt, sat by Jesse's bed and holding the hand of an unconscious Jesse.

"Kurt." Her voice was sharp, but Kurt didn't look up.

"Go away will you Rachel, you're so annoying." He drawled lazily.

She marched towards him, bending down to hiss in his ear. "What re you doing here?"

"Are chill out Rachel, I'm his friend."

"Like hell you are!"

Sighing and with a martyred expression, Kurt placed down Jesse's hand and stood to talk to Rachel.

"What are you doing here?" She hissed again.

"Visiting a sick friend." Kurt supplied easily, his icy eyes flashing.

"I'll bet," Rachel commented sarcastically and then added, furiously. "How many times do we have to go through this Kurt, he is not your boyfriend?"

"Oh get over yourself Rachel. After dating you for so long anyone could switch teams."

"But Jesse isn't going to." Rachel snapped and then turned as the boy in question mumbled lightly in his sleep.

The pair turned and looked at him, falling silent as they listened for him to speak again. He turned restlessly, a small frown furrowing his forehead as he was forced to a stop by the tubes inserted into his hand. Slowly, his expression cleared again and he mumbled to himself. Stepping closer, Rachel bent down beside him, her hand going out to stroke his head gently as Kurt hovered behind her.

Then, very softly, Jesse breathed out. "Rachel…"

Kurt's jaw fell open and Rachel felt tears spring to her eyes as Kurt glanced down at her. She reached out and took his hand, holding it gently and murmuring.

"I'm here, I'm here."

Jesse mumbled incoherently again, her name slipping from his lips once more before his eyes flickered slowly open.

"Jesse?" She asked softly and his gaze focused on her, a small grin creeping over his face.

"Would it help if I told you that the other guy looks much worse?" He breathed and she shook her head, one tear escaping as she held his hand in a gentle grip.

"Not really, you have some serious explaining to do."

A nurse appeared in the doorway and bustled over, checking Jesse's chart and the many monitors attached to him.

"Will I live?" He quipped weakly and Rachel's grip on his hand tightened fractionally.

"I'm sure you will." The nurse cocked an eyebrow and laughed a little. "You have lost a lot of blood though, so you'll be weak for a few days, you'll have to take it easy okay? And obviously you'll be a little sore and several bruises should come out. But another thing is that you were obviously struck with something sharp, by accident perhaps, who knows? But there'll be a slight scar. We've checked it for infections and sewn it up, so you'll just have to come back so we can change the gauze once or twice. It'll scar I'm afraid, but it wont be too noticeable." She flipped the chart shut and went to check his drip. "But otherwise there won't be any long term effects."

"Thank you." Rachel smiled widely at the women as she left, noticing suddenly that Kurt had obviously got the idea and left, and then turned back to Jesse, her relief obvious. "That's good isn't it, you don't have a broken leg or anything, so it should be fine. Jesse?"

He just nodded and she frowned a little, trying to catch his eye and failing.

"What's wrong?"

She followed his troubled gaze down and rolled her eyes when she noticed the direction it was pointed.

"You're worrying about the scar aren't you?"

He nodded and she sighed and laughed a little at him, getting up and pulling back the covers to peer at it, her eyes widening for a moment as she saw the scar, which was around ten centimetres long.

"How is it?" HE askeHe asked anxiously, peering at her.

"It's tiny," She lied easily and spread her fingers around three centimetres apart.

"Really?" He sat back, relieved. "Thank God."

She glanced down at it again and pulled the cover back. What he didn't know couldn't hurt him.

**xxx**

Mr Shue came in an hour or so later, when Rachel had moved to sit in the chair by Jesse, holding his hand gently as they talked softly.

"Hey Mr Shue," Jesse noticed him first and Rachel followed his gaze up to see her teacher.

"Jesse, how are you doing?" The teacher came to stand at the bottom of the bed, looking down at the pair.

"Not so bad," Jesse replied casually and Rachel rolled her eyes, cutting in.

"He lost a lot of blood, but otherwise he has only got a few bumps and bruises and a scar on his leg."

"Well, I'm glad to hear you aren't be badly hurt."

"How bad is the trouble I'm in?" Jesse asked softly, after a moment of silence.

Mr Shue sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, as everyone who saw the fight actually says it was self defence, not so bad. Karaofsky will be suspended for a week and you will have five detentions to attend. But otherwise, you will get off with a warning."

Jesse released his breath smiling a little in relief, "that's good."

"Yes," Mr Shue set him with a stern gaze. "It is, but remember Jesse, violence is not the answer to everything, you're lucky you aren't worse hurt."

"True, how's Karaofsky?"

"Not as bad as you," Mr Shue cast a cursory glance down at the pair and smiled a little. Then his smile fell and he sighed. "Why did you do it Jesse?"

Jesse glanced quickly at Rachel, who frowned when she noticed his gaze and then looked away, shrugging awkwardly.

"Wait," Rachel gasped, realisation dawning. "You didn't do it because of that thing with the slushie did you Jesse?"

Jesse didn't reply and she groaned, shaking her head.

"That was so chivalrous of you, but you could have been seriously hurt, what were you thinking?"

His anger flared and he glared at her. "Oh, I'm sorry for trying to defend my girlfriend!"

"You know I appreciate that, but really Jesse… fighting?" She threw her hands up in the air, standing swiftly to pace up and down beside the bed.

"Well, it doesn't matter now." Mr Shue interjected, hurriedly. "What matters is that Jesse is going to be okay." He looked down at Jesse, smiling once more. "I'm glad you're okay Jesse, I'll see you soon, I hope."

"Let's hope so," Jesse's smile was amiable, but his eyes were still tight with frustration, shooting towards Rachel with irritation.

Mr Shue left the room quickly, shutting the door behind him and Rachel turned on Jesse quickly.

"You got into a fight with Karaofsky over _me_?" She demanded.

"Yeah, I have to defend you, you're my girlfriend!"

"But what if you'd gotten really badly hurt?" Her voice dropped to a hushed whisper. "What would I have done without you?"

Sighing, he held his arm out to her. "Come here," He told her gently and she approached quickly, perching cautious next to him on the hospital bed, trying not move the piece of furniture at all as she curled into his embrace.

"You're strong," He told her gently, "and even though I'm glad that you love me enough to worry, you know that even if I wasn't here, you'd still be fine. You don't need me or anyone else, you're strong inside and you know it."

She smiled and he rubbed her back gently, catching the one small tear that fell down her face and cupping her face gently.

"Thank you," She murmured and burrowed herself slowly into him, oblivious to Kurt, who was stood at the window, peering in, his brows furrowing in annoyance as he watched the couple who went so quickly from fighting to embracing.

**Xxx**

The girl sighed, slamming her last remaining books in the brown satchel she was using as her new school bag. Glancing in the mirror as she went to leave the house, she paused and fluffed her hair, running a hand through it quickly, trying to keep the brown locks in place and shifting the flowered headband. Suppressing the flutter of nerves in her stomach, she pulled out her phone and frowned when she noticed one new text, reading the name on the screen she groaned inwardly and slammed it shut, patting her hair down and smiling smugly in the mirror.

Turning, she left the house quickly, driving to her new school and parking quickly.

She was sure ready for McKinley High, but was McKinley High ready for her?

**Xxx**

**And here I am, I'm back! Yay!... is it yay for you? Well, it's yay for me :)**

**Okay I'm fully recharged, sunned up and ready for some writing.**

**First off, I hope you've all had a good time while I've been away, anyone seen the glee movie yet? I'm going tomorrow (squeal!) and I have ordered the soundtrack… I'm very excited. **

**I'd like to shout out to an author on this website, called xxSoftAsThunderxx and her amazing debut story on FanFiction is a St Berry story called Keep Your Friends Close, And Your Enemies Closer and is being terribly neglected. Head on over there and read it and leave a review for her!**

**On the note of stories, I have released a new series of one shots in a story called A Love Of One Hundred Hearts and I'd love it if you guys could go over and give it a read for me. That's right, that is what you call shameless self promotion. **

**Anyway, thank you so much for all of the lovely reviews you guys gave me for the last chapter, I was overwhelmed! Thank you to: Broadwayfreak5357 (for the many, many reviews!), auhaes55, AlexisLovesGlee, tomfeltonlover1991,nanuvamp, northstar61, Likewow5556, MissRe, Rosy2609, Sea Serpent, Alcyone, I'mAFirestarter, TVHollywoodDiva, curve-goddess, MysterySpot, Kkaty and xxSoftAsThunderxx! You guys are amazing!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed the chapter.**

**Maybe, 10 reviews before an update? **

**Love **

**Ray **

**xxx**


	28. Chapter 27

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

It wasn't unusual for Mr Shue to be happy when he walked into Glee club, the strangely jovial teacher seemed to always walk with a spring in his step, but this morning his smile spread particularly widely and his voice boomed louder than normal.

"Hey guys!"

The glee clubbers eyed him warily.

"What's up with Mr Shue?" Brittany whispered to Santana, who shrugged.

"I hope he doesn't have another new contest planned," Mercedes groaned.

"I know, I don't think I can stand another one." Tina replied, shaking her head.

Mr Shue's eyes narrowed, but otherwise he ignored them. "I want to introduce you to our newest member, Eliza Brown."

The small girl stepped into the room behind Mr Shue and cast them all a smile that flashed her gleaming white teeth.

"Lizzie!" Jesse staggered to his feet, striding forward to scoop the girl up into a tight hug that lifted her from her feet. "Oh my God, I haven't seen you for ages!"

Eliza just laughed and hugged him back tightly, having to reach up on her tiptoes to reach her arms around his neck.

Rachel's jaw dropped open and she struggled to fix her smile in place when Jesse turned to grin at them. Glancing quickly towards Kurt she saw the shocked look in his eyes and decided that she was most definitely not over reacting.

"I'm guessing you two know each other?" Mr Shue asked, frowning a little.

"Yeah, we were friends when I went to Carmel and we went to middle school together." Jesse went to sit by Rachel again, pulling Eliza by her hand to sit on his other side.

"Right," Mr Shue shrugged a little, "well that's good Jesse, you and Rachel can show Eliza around."

Rachel glanced at the girl, trying not to wrinkle her nose with disgust.

"Okay," The teacher seemed oblivious to Rachel's distaste and rubbed his hands together, smiling. "Let's get practicing shall we?"

**Xxx**

As Rachel and Jesse walked towards her locker together, having just dropped Eliza off at her class, Rachel felt a strange need to hold his hand tighter, keeping him closer than usual.

Stopping at her locker she avoided his gaze as she started to pull the books from her bag.

"Rache?" Jesse asked, curiously, from above her.

She bit her lip, putting her books inside her locker and staying silent until she had slammed her locker shut and then looked up at him.

"How do you know Eliza?" She asked softly.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "It's… complicated."

She leant against the bank of lockers, looked up at him and crossing her arms as she replied. "I've got time."

Glancing around at the crowded corridor and easy smirk graced his lips. "Not right now you don't," He answered smoothly. "You have calculus, remember?"

She grunted in annoyance, sighing.

"Later." He promised, leaning down to kiss her swiftly, before turning and walking away, letting Rachel walk her lonely way to calculus.

Rachel sat and tapped her pen against her pad of paper to some unknown rhythm, hardly listening as her teacher lectured them. The clock ticking seemed to become slower and louder by the second.

Finally the bell rang loudly and she scrambled up, throwing her paper and pen into her bag and hurrying out of the door. At the end of the corridor Jesse was waiting and she took his extended hand, following him out to his car, where he opened the door for her automatically.

The tension was almost stifling and Rachel had to bite her tongue to stop herself from blurting out her questions.

Finally he stopped in her driveway and turned to her.

"Eliza and I dated in middle school."

She gasped, gaping at him openly as he hurried to explain.

"We were young, but we dated all the way through middle school and then a little through high school. But in my first year at Carmel I decided we should just go back to being friends. She agreed finally and we're on good terms. I thought she was moving to France, or at least she was last time I spoke to her, but it seems not."

"Obviously," Rachel commented dryly, turning to clamber out of the car, starting towards the house.

He caught her arms quickly, spinning her around. "Look, you can't be mad at me for this Rache. I had no idea she was coming!"

"I know, I know," She sighed, glancing away. "I just need some time to process this. Do you want to come in?"

"Sure," He smiled and followed her inside, hugging her close when she curled up into him, switching on the TV.

"One Tree Hill?" He asked, his eyebrows rising.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Hush up you. You have The Killers, I have One Tree Hill."

He shrugged and settled back against the sofa, his eyebrows furrowing when he tried to understand what was going on.

"You'll figure it out." She said, sensing his confusion.

When the adverts came on, Rachel muted the screen and turned to him.

"Jesse?" She asked hesitantly.

"Mmhm?" He glanced down at her.

"Do you know that…" She broke off, glancing away.

"Rachel?"

"Kurt, do you know that Kurt fancies you?"

"What?" He spluttered and she nodded furiously.

"I know, I would have never expected it, but it's blindingly obvious how much he likes you, he's said as much to me and I don't- Jesse?" Jesse had burst into peels of laughter, and Rachel glared at him, crying in irritation. "What are you laughing at?"

"I'm sorry Rache, it's just… this is so silly. Kurt doesn't fancy me."

"He does!" She retorted.

"No he doesn't, seriously… we're just friends. You're kind of paranoid Rache."

She could only splutter indignantly whilst he turned the TV back on, gesturing to it.

"Look it's starting."

**Xxx**

The next day, Rachel decided she would at least try to get along with Eliza. After all, Jesse had said that they were still friends and had reassured her that nothing was going on so she would have to trust him. No matter how much she disliked the situation.

Eliza was already in the choir room when Rachel arrived. She was reading a message on her phone, but when she heard Rachel's footsteps she slid the phone into her pocket and looked up at her.

"Hi," Rachel smiled. "I don't think I properly introduced myself yesterday. I'm Rachel Barbra Berry, Jesse's girlfriend."

"Hey," Eliza offered her the smallest of smiles. "I've heard."

"Jesse told you?" Her eyebrows furrowed curiously.

"No," Eliza replied, pulling her phone back out and beginning to tap out a message to someone, her tone almost lazy as she continued. "Everybody at Carmel knows how Jesse St James finally settled down and found a girl and that she wasn't even a girl good enough to get into Carmel."

"Excuse me?" Rachel spluttered.

"You heard me," Eliza met her gaze with a hard glance. "It takes a certain skill, talent and intellect to get into Carmel. But I wouldn't expect you to understand that."

Rachel gaped at her as she continued typing and pocketed her phone when she was done, looking up in time to see Jesse walk in.

"Jesse!" Her face split into a wide smile and Rachel watched her eyes widening as Jesse took her hand and led her back towards her seat, sitting between the two girls again.

"Lizzie," He smiled and then glanced towards Rachel. "Oh, hey Berry." He took Rachel's hand in his and Eliza watched them subtly.

"So Jesse, you have got to fill me in, I haven't seen you in so long, how are you?" Eliza gushed and Jesse turned smiling as he answered her.

"Rache?" Looking up Rachel smiled, relief sweeping through her as she saw Quinn.

"Hey Quinn," Extracting her hand from Jesse's she went to tell him that she was going to sit by Quinn for a moment when she noticed that he was deep in conversation with Eliza. Following Quinn silently to her seat she sat heavily beside the cheerleader, who brushed down her skirt, crossed her ankles and asked, in a low voice.

"What's with the new girl?"

Rachel sighed. "It's a long story."

"So give me the abridged version."

"She's his ex girlfriend." Rachel explained and Quinn's jaw dropped. "They dated in middle school and a little through high school, but he broke up with her once he became a sophomore. They're still friends."

"Ugh, what a mess," Quinn shook her head, her curls bouncing in their ponytail. "What's she like?"

"I'm not sure about her," Rachel shrugged. "I'll talk to you about it later okay?"

"Okay," Quinn smiled a little, turning to join Mercedes and Tina's conversation as Rachel went back to her original seat.

"How's your Uncle James?" She heard Eliza asked and blurted out without thinking.

"Your Uncle's called James?"

Jesse cast her a quizzical look and nodded. "Yes, I've told you that."

"No you haven't," She frowned.

"Oh," Jesse shrugged. "Well, now you know." And turned back to his conversation with Eliza, leaving Rachel to mull silently, trying to push away the strange empty feeling in her stomach.

**Xxx**

Pushing open the cubical door Rachel gratefully took the bottle of water that Quinn held out towards her, swilling her mouth out.

"Seriously, what is this kid's problem?" She demanded, glaring down at the offending stomach.

Quinn chuckled sympathetically. "Morning sickness is a pain."

"Tell me about it," Rachel groaned.

"When's your due date?" Quinn asked curiously, leaning back on the counter.

"Late August, early September, around then." Rachel smiled a little.

Sighing Quinn glanced down at her watch and groaned, "I have French now, but I'll catch up with you later okay?"

"Okay," Rachel smiled. "I have a free, so I'll leave later."

"Okay," Gathering her bag Quinn gave Rachel one last smile and padded out into the corridor.

Sighing to herself, Rachel put down the bottle, resting the cap on top and leaning heavily on the counter top, resting her hands over her stomach as her eyes fluttered shut.

"Well well, I never expected this."

Rachel's eyes shot open and she staggered forwards, gaping at the girl stood in front of her.

Eliza smiled nastily and continued. "Seriously Rachel, I always thought that you were the good girl in this… who would have expected that you would be knocked up?"

"Shut up," Rachel snapped. "It's not any of your business."

"Huh, no you're right, but does Jesse know?" Eliza cocked an eyebrow, a smug smile playing on her lips.

"Of course," Rachel replied.

"But no one else." Eliza mused, chuckling lightly. "How very _interesting_."

"Well, I trust you to not say anything."

"You know what they say," Eliza trilled, rinsing her hands and starting towards the doors. "Be careful who you trust."

Rachel's heart slammed against her ribcage, pounding viciously as she stumbled back into the counter top, her breath catching and gasping as she tried to keep calm. It would be okay, Eliza wouldn't say anything, Jesse trusted her, so Rachel would too.

**Xxx**

That afternoon Rachel found herself sat beside Eliza in the lunch hall. The glee club had slowly filtered away to spend their lunch time in their own ways and both Eliza and Rachel were waiting for Jesse to return from talking to his geography professor.

"Seriously," Rachel jumped a little when Eliza broke the silence that had been sat in and turned to face the girl, her eyes widening when she saw the spark in her eyes.

"I cannot believe that you got yourself knocked up. Talk about careless."

"That's inappropriate," Rachel snapped.

"But we're all friends here right? So, tell me all the gos, were you just really careless or did something snap or something?"

Rachel stayed silent.

"No gonna comment? God, how's that poor kid gonna cope, having to have you as a mother? And its not like Jesse is exactly going to stick around is he?"

"I'll have you know that Jesse and I are very close."

"Yeah, but it's Jesse isn't it? He doesn't do commitment."

"Maybe not in _your_ relationship…"

Eliza's eyes flashed and she leant forward. "Jesse and I had something, something that you can only ever dream of having with him. Love. Get out of your little fantasy world, you and Jesse are never going to have anything even close to that."

Rachel stayed silent again, her mouth gaping at this girl's audacity.

"And," Eliza continued. "I know he still feels that spark, we still have our love and the moment he realises that he's going to leave you and that kid of yours for me and Carmel and you're going to wonder why you ever thought you had a chance with him."

Rachel glared at her and opened her mouth to retort when a voice cut through them.

"Hey, everything okay over here?"

Jesse smiled down at them both, completely oblivious.

"Yeah, just great!" Eliza smiled and Rachel felt her rage bubble within her.

**Xxx**

That evening, when they were sat on Rachel's bed together, Jesse reading his book and Rachel flipping through some sheet music, Rachel breeched the subject once again.

"Jesse?"

"Yeah?" He looked up from his book. "What's up?"

"I was just wondering… does Eliza have a bit of a mean streak?"

"A mean streak? Lizzie?" He laughed a little. "No way, she's an absolute angel that girl."

"Well, it's just… she said some things to me today."

"What kind of things?"

"She knows about the baby…"

"Oh," Jesse shrugged a little, flipping open his book again. "And?"

"Well, I don't know, she was telling me I should be careful who I trust…?"

"It's just a friendly piece of advice Rache."

"Not the way she said it," Rachel muttered and Jesse sighed loudly.

"You're probably just being over sensitive Rachel."

"No, I don't think so…"

"Look, you're hormonal and I get it and everything, but you have to trust me when I say that Lizzie is a good person."

Her silence was enough of an answer.

"Really Rachel, don't worry about it."

"You don't still have feelings for her do you?" Rachel blurted out, pressing her lips together the moment the words had spilled form her mouth.

"No!" He laughed and pulled her into a hug. "No of course not. I love you, you know that."

"And the baby?"

"I love the baby too," His hand went down to cup her stomach and she sighed a little.

"Okay," She said finally.

"Okay," He repeated.

**Xxx**

"Do you think I'm over reacting?" Rachel asked Quinn.

The girl sighed, pushing the last few pieces of grapefruit around the pot with her plastic fork.

"No," She replied finally. "No, you're not. This Eliza girl is a nasty piece of work and she's obviously here for a reason other than transferring."

"Good, when he said that I was over reacting I thought that maybe I might be imagining it. Do you think he's in love with her?"

"No way," Quinn scoffed, fishing out a piece of grapefruit. "You two are like two peas in a pod. It's kind of sickening actually."

Rachel smiled a little. "what should I do then, just leave it?"

"No!" Quin cried, putting the small plastic package in the bin and starting out of the room.

"What then?" Rachel asked, following.

"Hmm," Quinn mused, stopping by her locker and pulling it open. "We have to out her, make Jesse see the real _Lizzie_."

"How?"

Quinn scoffed and turned to her fixing her with a patronising glance. "Leave it to me, I'm the head cheerleader again for a reason you know."

"For being able to do the best cartwheel?" Rachel joked.

"And so much more," Quinn laughed.

Turning down the corridor, she left the brunette wondering and started towards her Spanish classroom. Pausing outside, she frowned a little when she heard a very recognisable voice.

"No, no I've got it all under control."

Peering through the door she frowned a little when she noticed Eliza perched on a table, talking into her phone.

"Yeah… yeah definitely. There's definite tension now…. No! Well it's not my fault… Look, just look at it this way, Jesse will definitely be returning... How is it my fault if they break up? Why is she so important to you? Seriously Shelby, she's not all that perfect, trust me… Okay, okay. Yeah I know. Okay. Bye."

Flipping the phone shut she stalked out, an irritated expression crossing her face. She completely ignored Quinn as she went past.

"Huh," Quinn muttered to herself. "Well, that was weird."

**Xxx**

**Quite a long chapter especially for you, because I am just so nice ;) **

**Well, what do we think about Eliza? Is she all that she seems to be? No, I don't think so either. **

**Leave me your thoughts! I've decided that everyone who does gets a little snip of next chapter… that's bribery for you. **

**Also, some of you have asked about Blaine and whether he's coming in. He will be! But as this story was planned before I knew about Blaine, I had to insert him, which is why it's taken him so long to appear. But he will come, I promise, I just wrote his first ever scene actually (I've been planning it forever and I enjoyed writing it) and I'm about 70 pages ahead of you guys, so hold tight, it will come. **

**This story is building, I know it seems that nothing is happening, but I need to build their foundations and their trust in each other, especially Rachel with Jesse. There will be some bumpy times ahead and they're gonna need each other. **

**I hope some of you went to check out Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies Closer, it really is very good! **

**Thank you to: theyhadadate, Alcyone, auhaes55, TVHollywoodDiva, thestral rider, northstar61, (there's someone who keeps reviewing and doesn't put a name, so I don't know who you are, but thank you!), Likewow5556, xXSerendipitous SpontaneityXx, Pumpkin and Just me. **

**Thanks so much, you are all so amazing!**

**Maybe 9 reviews before an update, and you get a sneak peak! If that's not motivation, I don't know what is ;)**

**Love**

**Ray**

**xxx**


	29. Chapter 28

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**This is a big chapter to make up for my lack of updates :)**

**xxx**

Later Quinn stopped Rachel as she made her way towards her car, hooking her arm and pulling her towards her.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked, frowning a little.

"I've had an idea." Quinn told her. "You need proof that Eliza is effectively a bitch right?"

"Yeah?"

"So, do you still know that kid from the AV club? Lauren Zizes?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well," Quinn smiled deviously. "How do you feel about a little bugging session?"

Rachel's eyes widened as she realised what her friend was suggesting. "Genius," She breathed, smiling a little.

"I know," Quinn laughed and turned to go.

Still smiling Rachel went to join Jesse, who cocked an eyebrow at her obvious happiness, but otherwise didn't comment.

The next day, Rachel stopped Eliza in the hallway. "Eliza?"

The girl in question just raised her eyebrows, waiting.

"Meet me in the auditorium at lunch okay?"

Shrugging Eliza nodded and pushed past her and Rachel watched her go, a smirk playing on her lips.

It was strange to trick people like this, even if it was someone as awful as Eliza. Having such a careful structured plan was almost odd and she couldn't help but revel in the thrill that ran through her at such actions. She deliberated to herself that this must be what Quinn felt like all the time and she realised why the head cheerleader was always pulling stunts like this.

It felt _good_ to have the upper hand on someone.

Pulling out her phone she hesitated for a moment, a little scared by this unexpected reaction within her.

Steeling herself she dialled the number and waited as it rang.

"Hey Lauren Zizes? It's Rachel Berry."

**Xxx**

She ran a nervous hand through her hair, smoothing down her skirt as she waited. The stage was dimly lit, but it felt like a spotlight was trained on the piano which she leant against, underneath which was the bugging device Lauren Zizes had installed in return for ten dollars and seven snicker bars.

Her eyes kept on glancing down to it and she balled her fists, forcing herself to look away and up at the door, which had just opened to reveal Eliza. The girl stalked up to the stage, crossed her arms and gave Rachel a hard look.

"Well, what do you want?"

"I want to know what your problem is with me." Rachel replied, shifting from foot to foot.

Eliza's eyes lit up and she smiled nastily, laughing a little. "I don't think we have that much time, but I'll start anyway."

She stepped a little closer to Rachel.

"First, you're a sleazy tramp who can't keep her hands off her boyfriend and is pregnant because of it."

Rachel gritted her teeth together.

"Second, you like to think you're talented, but seriously, hearing you sing is like hearing a cat drowning."

Her hands balled up tighter.

"Thirdly, you're so naive."

A flush crept up her neck.

"You're trying to steal my man."

It made its way up to her cheeks, colouring them crimson with anger.

"And finally, you're going to be such a bad mother, it's going to be a joke."

She laughed snidely and before Rachel knew it her hand had snapped away from her side and was colliding hard with the older girl's cheek. The slap echoed through the auditorium and Eliza staggered backwards, her face flaring red.

"You little bitch." She murmured, her voice dripping with rage and sprung at Rachel, pushing her down to the stage floor and slapping her hard as Rachel cried out, clawing at the other girl's grip.

"I can't believe you just did that." Eliza growled, slapping her again and Rachel gasped as her eyes began to water, the force of the slap making her head spin for a second.

"Eliza!" His voice was like a gun shot, both girls looking up to see Jesse's figure striding quickly down the aisle towards the stage.

Eliza jumped away immediately, eyes wide as she looked over at Jesse.

The boy in question ascended the stairs quickly, bending to help Rachel up, his warm hand enveloping hers as he pulled her close, hugging her tightly for a moment before loosening his hold to gently cup her chin, raising her face to look at him and running his hand gently over her sore cheeks.

"Are you okay?" He murmured, his eyes gentle.

She nodded mutely and he caught the single tear the cascaded down her face between his fingers, his expression twisting in anguish before clouding with anger as he turned to Eliza, tucking Rachel under his arm.

"What are you doing here Jesse?" Eliza's voice seemed to have become higher than normal, cracking over his name.

"I'd left some sheet music in here from the last glee rehearsal, I came to retrieve it." His voice was steady, but there was an undercurrent of anger that made Rachel immediately wary.

Eliza must have heard it too, because she pointed a finger towards Rachel. "Your girlfriend just attacked me!"

"I was at the door the whole time Eliza."

Eliza's jaw dropped.

"Get the hell out of here Eliza, if I ever see you near me or my girlfriend again I will not hesitate to hurt you." The ice in his voice made even Rachel flinch a little.

"Fine," Eliza spat, "I'm transferring back to Carmel anyway. Have fun with your whore of a girlfriend."

Turning on her heel she stalked out and the pair watched silently until they heard the ferocious slam of a door.

Turning to her, Jesse pulled Rachel into another hug, tighter this time and sighed heavily as they parted slowly.

"I'm sorry," He said simply. "I should have listened."

"It's okay." Rachel replied.

His hand brushed her cheeks gently again and she flinched a little from his touch on the sore skin.

"I'm sorry she hurt you." He added, sighing again.

"It's okay," She repeated and then smiled teasingly. "I can use it to draw upon for more realistic performances."

He laughed unwillingly. "Fair enough. Although really I'd rather you would just act, I hate that she did that to you and I wasn't there to stop it. In fact I was there, I just stared at you like a goldfish or something!"

"Hey, shh," She placed a reassuring hand on his cheek. "Look, I don't blame you for this okay? I mean, okay she was a bitch and okay she scratched down to my very soul. But that's not your fault. It was just one big misunderstanding."

"I knew there was a reason I love you." He smiled, pulling her into a close embrace.

**Xxx**

A few evenings later, Jesse walked into the Berry household to find the sitting room surprisingly empty. He had made plans with Rachel to go and see a movie and normally she would be in the sitting room by now, waiting for him as she flicked through a magazine or read a book. But it was completely bare.

Frowning he poked his head around the kitchen door to see Leroy sat, reading a paper and sipping coffee.

"Hi, Mr Berry-"

"Leroy, Jesse," He corrected smiling.

"Oh yeah, sorry, Leroy. Do you know where Rachel is?"

His brow furrowed and when he answered he seemed hesitant. "Well yeah, she's upstairs, but I wouldn't go up there… I think she's a little… rattled."

Jesse's frown deepened. "I'll go and see what the problem is." He responded and, ignoring Leroy's warnings, started up the stairs, the sounds of bangs and crashed becoming louder the closer he got.

"Rache?" He knocked on her door, opening it slowly, only to be attacked by a purple t-shirt.

"What the..?" He caught the shirt in one hand and stared around the room, taking in the mess of clothes strewn upon every surface available.

Picking his way through two pairs of flats, several t-shirts, three skirts and a burgundy pair of cotton trousers, he arrived at his girlfriend's side, peering over her shoulder into the now almost empty wardrobe.

"Rache?" He asked again and then ducked as she grabbed a grey and pink striped dress and threw it out of the wardrobe, narrowly missing his head.

"Rachel!" He cried as she reached out for the green sweater, one of the last remaining items in her wardrobe, and grabbed hold of her hands, spinning her around. "What's wrong?"

"None of it fits!" She cried back, glaring accusingly at the clothes scattered around the room.

"What?" He asked blankly.

Huffing in annoyance she pulled her hands from his grasp and he released her immediately, watching her stalk towards her bed through the sea of clothes and, with a sweeping hand gesture, push the clothes off the comforter, sitting heavily down.

Slowly, he made his way towards her and sat beside her, asking hesitantly.

"What's wrong?"

"None of it fits," She told him, angrily. "Not one thing, all of it, it's all too small!"

She glanced down at her stomach, cupping it in her hands and sighing heavily.

"Well," He started, slowly, worried about angering her again. "That's to be expected right, I mean, you are _pregnant_."

"You really think I didn't know that?" She asked wryly and then sighed, closing her eyes a moment, before opening them again. To his relief her expression had softened and she sighed again, this time more softly and said gently. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"It's fine," He answered automatically, taking her hand in his. "So none of it fits any more."

"Not without showing," She replied.

"You're getting bigger." He noticed, running a hand over her stomach.

"I know," She groaned. "People are starting to notice, I've had to quick ballet because those leotards are too showing and yesterday Santana asked me if I was actually aware of the fact that I was turning into a 'short fat' person."

He rolled his eyes. "You are quite large now though. I was wondering maybe, if it's time for us to maybe say something?"

She took a shaky breath and nodded hesitantly, "I've been thinking about that too. But what would I say?"

Jesse frowned a little, "I suppose we could say it's mine, but people would soon do the maths and realise you cheated on Finn. You're not thinking of saying it's Finn's right?"

"No!" She wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Okay, so we could maybe not mention the father…? But that would never work."

They sat in silence for a while, thinking.

"I suppose we're just going to have to tell them." Rachel said finally, her voice low.

Jesse looked at her quickly. "Are you sure I mean… that's big."

"No, no it's easier that way."

"When?"

"Tomorrow. Tomorrow we'll tell them."

**xxx**

The next morning seemed to come faster than usual, as it always does when you're waiting for something bad to happen.

Jesse was unsurprised when he met with Rachel at lunch time and found that she was shaking gently.

"Shh," He hushed her gently, pulling her closer and resting his chin on the top of her head, running a soothing hand through her hair.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," She said finally, pushing him away slightly and taking a deep breath. "I'm good."

He rose a sceptical eyebrow and grabbed hold of her hand, leading her into the choir room. The club had convened as usual and Rachel almost hesitated as Jesse walked to the front. Steeling herself, she followed him. Quinn watched them and offered a comforting smile to Rachel, who had told her of her idea the night before.

"Excuse me," Jesse called out and slowly the group of kids quietened. "Rachel and I would like to talk to you."

"Not again," Mercedes groaned, rolling her eyes as Kurt shushed her.

"It will only take a moment. We just thought that you should be the first to know that Rachel's pregnant."

A moment of silence passed.

Then all hell broke loose.

"What!" Mercedes cried, her sentiments echoed by both Kurt and Mike.

"H-How?" Tina stuttered.

"You're telling people?" Finn spluttered.

"How could I not know this!" Santana shouted, throwing her hands in the air.

"What is going on?" Mr Shue's voice split through the outcry and Santana answered for them all.

"RuPaul is knocked up."

"What?" Mr Shue frowned.

"Rachel's pregnant," Quinn translated for him and Mr Shue nodded.

"Oh, yes, I knew about that."

"You what?"

A new series of voices rose through the room.

"I was told a few months ago, in case anything were to happen."Mr Shue explained.

"I cannot believe this, Finn's sperm actually work." Santana laughed and Finn cried out in annoyance.

"What? _I'm _not the father!"

"So you Jesse?" Mercedes turned to him. "It's gotta be you right?"

Exchanging a quick glance with Rachel, Jesse slowly shook his head.

"What?" Santana cried. "Then who?"

"Santana-" Mr Shue started, frowning.

"Who Rachel?" Kurt cut in, peering at the girl as if trying to read it in her eyes.

Rachel, who normally craved attention, found herself shying away into Jesse's chest, her cheeks pressed against the soft cashmere.

"I don't know." Rachel murmured, barely audible.

"You don't know!" Santana crowed, laughing gleefully. "I cannot believe it, Rachel Berry playing fast and loose with guys, wait until I tell people!"

Finally Rachel cried, turning inside Jesse's embrace.

"I was raped!"

There was a long, shocked silence and Rachel buried herself deep in Jesse's embrace, his arms tight around her.

"When?" Tina asked softly.

"Before Christmas," Jesse responded for Rachel, pulling her closer, so that her body was flushed with his.

"What happened?" Artie's eyes were wide.

Jesse shrugged and Rachel explained, her voice muffled.

"I was out walking in the street. It was night time… they… they cornered me… I couldn't… couldn't stop them…"

Her voice trailed off into sobs again.

"They knocked her out. She can't remember anything. I was the one who found her and took her to a hospital." Jesse explained, clutching Rachel even tighter as he felt her start to shake.

"They knocked her out?" Quinn asked, gently. "Do you know who it was?"

"Not yet, the police are still looking." Jesse replied.

"I hope they find those bastards," Puck growled, cracking his knuckles one by one.

"How far along are you?" Santana's voice was unusually soft.

"Twenty weeks." Rachel's voice was muted by Jesse's chest.

There was a stiff silence that filled the air with tension until Mr Shue finally said, his voice unusually stern.

"I want you guys to promise me that you won't spread this okay?"

There was a general murmur of agreement and he continued, nodding with satisfaction. "Okay, I think we'll break up early today. Go enjoy your lunch okay?"

The sounds a chairs grating noisily against the floor was the only thing to break the silence as the strangely quiet glee clubbers left the room in dribs and drabs. Once it was empty, but for their teacher and the couple, Mr Shue started towards them, resting a hand on Jesse's shoulder to catch his attention.

"She okay?"

Rachel was crying softly into Jesse's chest.

He nodded slowly and pulled her closer. "I'll look after her."

Nodding solemnly Mr Shue left, stopping only to pick up his bag.

After a few moments, Rachel pulled away from Jesse and gave him a small smile.

"Thanks," She sniffed, her eyes red and her make up smeared. "I think I'm gonna go and sort myself out okay?"

"Sure, are you going to be okay?"

She nodded, sniffing again. "Yeah I will, see you later."

Leaning up on her toes she pressed a quick kiss to his lips, smiling a little as her lips melded with his and deepening it. Her hand circled his neck and his in turn went to run through her silky hair. Pressing her body against his she finally pulled away, her smile widening as he groaned, his head falling forward dramatically to rest on her shoulder.

"Later," She murmured and kiss his cheek before extracting herself from his grip and walking from the room.

Smiling lazily at what had just occurred he ran a finger over his lips, remembering all too well the feel of her lips on his.

"Jesse?"

His eyes shot open and he turned to see Kurt stood in the doorway.

"Hey," He greeted, smiling. "Sorry we never had a chance to perform, what with me being in hospital and all."

Kurt shook his head, "No problem. So…" He stepped closer and Jesse bent to retrieve his bag. "I'm sorry about Rachel."

"Thanks, I guess," Jesse answered, frowning a little and starting to dig through his bag for his water.

"I understand you know." Kurt was leaning back against the piano and, when Jesse glanced up, tossed him a sympathetic smile.

Jesse's frown deepened and he suddenly remembered, in a flash, what Rachel had said to him a few nights ago.

"_Kurt, do you know that Kurt fancies you?"_

He looked up for a moment studying the boy carefully before asking, his voice slightly stilted.

"What do you mean?"

"I get it Jesse, you feel like you _have_ to be with Rachel. Because she's pregnant."

Jesse's jaw dropped and he could do nothing more than gape at the boy.

"You're gay." Kurt stated, confidently.

"No!" Jesse spluttered, finally able to respond.

Kurt's face fell for a second, before being over come by that irritating understanding expression. "I understand it's hard to come to terms with Jesse, but you are gay."

"I am not," Jesse said, more gently this time, his voice softening when he saw Kurt's expression faltering. "I'm sorry Kurt, but I'm not gay. I like you, as a friend, but nothing more than that. I love Rachel very very much."

Kurt blinked at him. "But… but you like singing… and musical theatre… and you style your hair!"

"I do not!" Jesse frowned, his hand going up to his hair. Then his expression softened once again. "I'm sorry Kurt, but I am completely and utterly straight. You are my friend. Nothing more."

"But…" Kurt seemed unable to form a sentence, his face fading from white to red.

"Kurt, listen to me." Jesse said, quickly. "There's a huge world away from Ohio. Millions of gay men are out there. I'm friends with one or two over in California and there are tons over there. There is someone out there who will love you, because seriously Kurt, you deserve to be loved."

Kurt could only gape at him, but his eyes had become gentler.

Jesse gathered his bag again and started for the door, turning back to say.

"Hey, and Kurt, if my straight status ever changes, you'll be the first to know." He cast him a wink and started out of the door.

He had only taken a few steps down the corridor when he bumped into Quinn.

"Oh, sorry Quinn."

"No, it's fine," The blonde swung her locker shut, "you going this way?"

"Sure am," Jesse smiled and then joined her in his walk towards his history classroom.

"So, I'm seriously glad Eliza's gone. No offence, I know she's your ex and everything," She added quickly.

"No," Jesse shook his head and sighed sadly. "It's a shame she turned to horrible, she used to be nice."

"Mmm," Quinn seemed unconvinced. "She was always on her phone, I caught her talking about you once actually." She laughed a little.

"Oh?" Jesse's curiosity peaked.

"Yeah, talking about breaking you and Rachel up and getting you to go back somewhere. She was talking to some woman named Shelby, who was obviously giving her a hard time over Rachel." Quinn laughed again. "Weird."

Jesse hardly heard. He stopped suddenly in the middle of the corridor, his hand balling into fists as the fury reigned inside him.

"Jesse?" Quinn's voice seemed to come from very far away.

"Yeah?" He snapped back to attention, his ears still buzzing indignantly.

"Erm, this is your classroom." Quinn gestured to a nearby door and when Jesse laughed, it seemed strained.

"Oh yes…" He replied, attempting nonchalance and failing. "Well, I guess I'll see you later then."

"Guess so," But Jesse barely heard her, walking slowly into his classroom and sitting heavily down.

When he got his hands on Shelby Corcoran she would wish she'd never met Eliza Brown.

**Xxx**

**Seems that Shelby's in trouble. Nasty Eliza is gone- yay! And things have been straightened out with Kurt- that's good isn't it? Hopefully we'll get a nicer Kurt from now onwards. **

**So, how is everyone, I'm sorry for my rather long absence, all I can say is that school started again and I have had unseemly amounts of work. Also, I might be starting a volunteering thing over my weekends, so that'll suck up more of my time, but I haven't decided yet. Anyway, so sorry for the delay. **

**So, I do have a bit of an announcement, I've been working on something for you guys. I have finally joined the ranks of people on tumblr! **_**Yay! **_**I have set up a page on my tumblr called 'One Hand One Heart'… no prizes for guessing what it's for :)**

**Anyway, I'll be posting outtakes, sneak peaks and random things to do with this story if anyone is interested enough- I'd like at least five or six people or I might just leave it. So a lot of that stuff would be exclusive to tumblr and I'll respond to any queries you have :)**

**onemilliongoldstars dot tumblr dot com**

**You guys know the drill, add in the dots, take out the spaces, all that jazz.**

**Follow me and I'll happily follow back. **

**Also, I'm DreamsofRay at Youtube, Blogger and Twitter, come give me a shout over there!**

**Next point- a few of you wanted more character development for Eliza… it was about a 50/50 split of people who wanted development and people who wanted her gone asap. I stuck with the original storyline and kept it like it is, but I wouldn't mind doing an outtake, with more character development for Eliza, although I may pick on a few people to bounce ideas off, if that's okay? So give a shout and tell me if you're still interested in the outtake and I'll get on writing. **

**By the way, who else is pretty sad now that Campus Visit is over? Me too, I loved that story. Ah well, we still have Someone To Love You and all of the other amazing fics on here :)**

**Onto the thank yous: Gleek123xx (why thank you), BeccieT (I know, silly Jesse), AlexisLovesGlee (she really is, and see the AN above and give me your thoughts), BestofLuckJo (welcome back ;) ), Likewow5556 (not many people do, beats me why ;) ), northstar61 (a bit of Faberry friendship), xXSerendipitous SpontaneityXx (I love a good bit of Jealous!St Berry), loveisalifetimeproject (I love your penname, have I ever mentioned that?), Broadwayfreak5357 (stupid computers, they're a pain aren't they?), (haha, I love all of those little plots, they're amazing!), auhaes55 (read and you shall know :) ), twilight2892 (here it is :) ), artfuldodger-28 (thank you so much!), seacat03 (your wish is my command!), Afternoon on a hill (Welcome back, I'm very glad.), theyhadadate (not at all, I feel like that every time a Finchel scene comes on my TV), notyourghost (haha nice try!), tomfeltonlover1991 (Thank you. Most people do. Here it is. :) ). **

**Have I ever mentioned just how much my computer hates it when I do that? I throw grammar out of the window and that does not make Word a happy bunny. **

**Also, two shout outs today, one to xXSerendipitous SpontaneityXx for coming up with the pairing name of Essie for Eliza and Jesse, it made me chuckle. Cookies for you, you lovely lady :)**

**And second shout out goes to stgroffleberry, from tumblr who totally fangirled on me the other day. She has this amazing blog, go and check her out on tumblr. But I messaged her about something saying I was new to tumblr and that I love her blog and all these things and then I mentioned that I was on fanfiction and she said that she read this story and she loved it and then she started following me. That literally made my day, so thank you so much! **

**Anyway! **

**After that ridiculously long A.N, maybe nine reviews till a chapter?**

**Love you all!**

**Ray **

**xxx **

**PS: Who's excited for the new glee season? Some are, some wish it wasn't happening, give me your thoughts! **


	30. Chapter 29

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

It was a few days later when the tipping point came.

Jesse had just gone to the bathroom and had come back into the bedroom, where Rachel was watching a film, to find her sobbing, tears rolling down her cheeks as she watched the credits roll by.

Jesse sighed.

"I knew watching _Marley and Me_ was a bad idea." He muttered and went to sit beside her, putting an arm around her shoulder and pulling her closer, saying, comfortingly. "It's okay Rache, it's just a film."

"No," She sobbed, burying herself in his chest. "No, it's not just that…"

She snivelled and managed to gather herself together enough to say. "You know how, a little while ago, I said I wanted to meet my real mother?"

Jesse immediately stiffened and tried to look her in the eye, pushing the panic down.

"Yeah?"

"And you said you'd help me?"

"Yes?"

"I want to find her."

He stayed still and silent for a moment and then asked. "Why now?"

"I just…" She glanced down at her stomach and then said. "I just need a mom right now."

"Okay…" Jesse pulled her closer. "Okay."

"Okay? Really? You'll help?"

"Really."

**Xxx**

The office was dark and, glancing at her wristwatch, Shelby realised that she should really be home by now. Sighing she gathered her things together, pushing the papers on her desk into an untidy pile, scribbled her signature at the bottom of one and flicked off the light. She was halfway out of the door when the mobile began to buzz. Sighing heavily she realised that she had left it on the desk, under a stack of tottering files.

Fumbling under them she pulled the device out, glancing at the screen and reading the name quickly.

_Jesse St James_

Her heart sped and she was slow in flipping it open, her hands shaking with excitement.

"Hello?" She greeted breathlessly.

"Shelby." The boy's voice was cold, hard and Shelby flinched a little at the resentment she heard in his voice.

"Jesse, hi."

"That stunt you pulled with Eliza was too much." Shelby cringed a little again.

"You can't blame me for trying Jesse."

"I can when I found her practically beating my girlfriend on the stage in the auditorium and hurling insults at her." Jesse's voice was like ice now and Shelby's brows furrowed.

"She what?" She demanded.

"She apparently wanted me back and was prepared to undermine the relationship Rachel and I have to get me."

"I'm sorry," Shelby apologised, scribbling a quick note on a bright green post-it in front of her.

"Yeah well, if it were my choice I wouldn't even be having this conversation with you."

Shelby's curiosity rocketed. "Oh, and just why are you talking to me then Jesse?"

"Rachel wants to find her mom."

Shelby almost dropped the phone in her excitement. Her breath caught in her throat and her head spun. Heavily, she slouched into the desk chair behind her.

"What?" She breathed.

"She asked me to help her find her birth mom."

"She actually asked you?"

"Yeah," Jesse sounded resigned. "So, now what Shelby?" His voice took on a sarcastic, mocking tone, beneath which ran an undercurrent of bitterness. "How does this fit into your grand plan?"

"It doesn't." Shelby admitted, too wrapped up to be affected by his anger.

"Well that's helpful." Deep irony covered his tone and she hurried to say.

"_She_ has to find _me_."

"Obviously, so what exactly are you going to do?"

"We need to plant something… make it obvious to her that I'm her mom… you could-"

"Oh no Shelby!" He cut through her, his anger obvious. "No! I am not being your mole; I'm not planting something for you. I have no allegiance to you now, why should I!"

"Jesse wait…"

"No, Shelby, no way."

"Jesse…"

"You want this done, you do it yourself. I'm out from now on."

"Jesse!"

The loud, steady beep of the dialling tone was her only answer and she sighed, groaning in frustration and placing the phone down.

Didn't Jesse understand? She _had_ to meet her daughter.

Leaning over to click the light on by the laptop again, Shelby leant back in her chair, settling herself in again. She pulled a blank notepad and a pen towards her and started tapping it against the paper to an odd, uneven beat. This would be far harder than she had anticipated and would require some serious thought.

If she had to be there all night, so be it.

**Xxx**

As it happened, Shelby's plotting was not even necessary.

One evening, a few days later, Rachel sat at her desk, completely a few assignments. Just as she started on her third paragraph on how Shakespeare's famous play _Romeo and Juliet _had been transferred to a media context, her pen slowly began to fade and, finally ran out all together. Grunting with irritation she flung the pen to the side and scoured her room for a new one. When her search proved fruitless Rachel went to her dads' office.

Pushing open the door slowly, she peeked her head around the door and found the room empty. Stepping further in, she found that it was just as it always was. The walls were lined with bookcases which were filled with leather bound books, paper bound books and even a few magazines. Nearer her daddy's desk the book were mainly large, dusty volumes on law whereas around her papas desk on the opposite side of the room were mostly books, big and small on medicine, large journals on human anatomy and other such things. Nearing the middle of the room, Rachel ran her fingers over some of the ornaments occupying the no-mans-land part of the bookcases.

Smiling when she spotted a picture of her and her dads, she glanced at the desks. Hiram, her papa, was extremely tidy, his books stacked neatly in piles, everything in its proper place. However he seemed to have stored away all of his pens and she was reluctant to rummage through his draws.

Turning to her daddy's desk, she was unsurprised to see stacks of paper everywhere. His wireless keyboard was actually taking residence on the top of one of these teetering piles and she laughed a little when she saw that the mouse map had obviously been buried and her daddy was, for the time being at least, using a brown file with URGENT stamped in red on the front. She always said it was a miracle he could actually be a lawyer, he was so unorganised.

Approaching his desk, she was surprised to see that a drawer that was usually locked shut was hanging open. She was about to push it shut when the name on the file caught her eye.

RACHEL

She frowned a little and, glancing up guiltily, reached into the drawer and pulled out the file. Flicking through it she just managed to catch a small red book as it fell to the floor. Opening it she smiled when she saw that in it was written the entry:

_Week 14:_

_Quite big: 45 cm. Playing Mozart into her stomach in hopes that Rachel/Joey will hear. Another scan soon and we're really looking forward to it. The morning sickness is getting stronger and more frequent. She's had a craving for peanuts, which amused us. _

Rachel found herself sympathetic towards the girl that was forced to carry her. Morning sickness was a serious pain.

Putting the little red book back, she flipped through the file again, bypassing a few boring documents. Finally she got what she wanted. Her birth certificate.

Pulling it out of the plastic wallet she scanned her eyes across it, her eyes almost stumbling across the words in her haste.

_Full Name: Rachel Barbra Berry_

_Mother: Shelby Corcoran_

_Father: Unknown_

_Legal Guardians: Hiram James Berry and Leroy Matthew Berry_

Her heart thudded for the second it took her brain to fully comprehend the words she had read. The thin piece of paper fluttered to the floor from her suddenly limp hands. Her head span and she fell back into the handsome leather chair, her breath stuttering into sharp gasps.

_Shelby Corcoran_

The name ran through her head like an irritating chorus as she tried to gather her wits.

Pulling out her phone she reacted without thought.

"Jesse," She said as he picked up the phone, her voice breathy. "I've found her."

Once she had put the phone down, she leaned her head back, eyes squeezed shut as she tried to shake the mist from her mind. Leaning down with shaking hands she grabbed the certificate and read the name over and over again, as if imprinting it into her mind.

Slowly she traced the cursive with her finger and sounded out the name, letting it fall from her lips in a whisper, almost reverent.

"_Shelby Corcoran_."

The ringing of the doorbell made her jump in the seat, the paper flying from her hands and onto the desk in front of her. Leaping up, she started down the stairs, ripping the door open and calling to her dads, in a voice that barely passed for normal.

"It's fine, it's Jesse!"

Grabbing his hand, she pulled him through the door and up the stairs after her. Stumbling through the door of the office, he caught her around the waist before she could fall.

"Calm down Rache, breathe." His ever calm voice broke through the haze of something between ecstasy and terror in her mind. Pulling her into his chest she breathed in the scent of his aftershave, her tense body finally relaxing.

Once calm she gestured towards her daddy's desk and Jesse moved towards his goal, the shifting of papers the only sound until Jesse's gasp broke through.

"Oh my God… _Miss Corcoran?" _

"Your old glee coach," Rachel confirmed and he turned to look at her, his mouth an _O _of shock that would have been comical in a different situation.

"I… I guess I see the similarities." He sat heavily in her dad's chair, "You're both so talented and… you kind of look the same."

"I just… can't believe I never knew…" A strange expression flitted across Jesse's face, but Rachel ignored it and continued. "She was in Ohio all this time. I guess it'd be less weird if she was in Hawaii or Canada or somewhere… but all my life, she was just a few streets away. Does she know I'm here?"

"Maybe," Jesse replied, still looking down at the certificate.

""Why did she never try to contact me? Does she not care?"

Jesse shrugged again and got up to circle the table and embrace her. "Maybe you should talk to your dads about this?"

She nodded against his chest. "I don't want to hurt them."

"You won't, you have to talk to them about this, it's huge."

She nodded again and slowly, reluctantly, pulled away from him. "Will you help me?"

"Now?" His eyes widened.

"Why not?" She asked.

He shrugged and motioned for her to lead the way downstairs.

Her legs shook as she walked, and she had to reach out to lean heavily on the banister, walking slowly, listening as each footstep sounded like a drum beat through the house.

Once she reached the kitchen doorway, Jesse at her side, she hesitated. Her daddy was sat at the kitchen table, reading a document, a red pen in his hand as he marked through it, a steaming cup of coffee beside him. Her papa stood by the sink, washing the pots they had used for dinner.

"Daddy?" Her voice broke over the word as she took a hesitant step into the room. "Papa?"

The pair looked up, their expressions immediately crumpling in worry when they noticed her anxious expression.

"Rachel? What's wrong?" Her pap took a step towards her and Rachel pulled out the birth certificate, laying it on the table before her with trembling hands.

"I found this, in your office."

Hiram stepped forward, peering to get a closer look at the piece of thick ivory parchment, as Leroy craned his neck to see it. Both men paled when they saw the familiar gold crest on the top.

"Where did you get this?" Leroy's question was sharp, angry.

"I was in your office, looking for a pen," She cringed when she realised how lame her excuse sounded and ploughed on before they could call her on it. "There was a drawer that was open and a file, with my name on it. I couldn't help it!"

"What else did you see?" Hiram asked, his voice only moderately calmer.

"Uh, nothing…. Nothing really." She stumbled over the words. "I just… I saw the little red book, a few documents and then… this."

Her papa sat heavily into a chair, his elbow resting on the table as his head fell into his hands. Leroy turned to look at Rachel, his eyes hard and Rachel staggered back from the look, bumping into Jesse, who pulled her towards him.

Turning, Leroy exchanged a glance with Hiram, who had just looked up. An unspoken connection passed through them and Hiram looked up, meeting Jesse's gaze and then Rachel's in turn.

"Would you two please go upstairs for us for a moment, we need to talk privately." His voice was calmer now and Rachel nodded silently, pulling Jesse from the room and leading him upstairs. She slumped down onto the top step and Jesse slid down slowly to sit beside her, hugging her close.

"What have I done?" Rachel whispered, staring down at her hands, which she was knotting together nervously.

A larger, warmer hand enveloped hers, holding them in a gentle grip, the other cupping her cheek and moving it around so that she was looking at him.

"You haven't done anything." He assured her. "Apart from the right thing."

"But I've hurt them." She glanced down the stairs to the now closed kitchen door.

"Maybe," He agreed and she felt her heart plummet. "But, you had to do it at some point right? And better now than in like three years, that'll just hurt them worse, knowing you knew all that time and never confided in them."His hand pushed her face up gently to face his and he lowered his lips gently onto hers.

She smiled into the kiss, her arms circling his neck in a close embrace as she pulled him closer to her. Sparks flew through her at his touch and they broke away slowly, a smile creeping onto her lips as he looked down at her, his eyes soft and gentle with emotion.

"Rachel? Can you come down here please?"

She jumped as if scalded, leaping up and looking down to see her papa stood at the kitchen doorway. She tried to see his face, guess at his feelings, but he turned away too quickly. Jumping up she followed him into the kitchen, stopping short and glancing uncertainly at the two free chairs at the kitchen table.

"Take a seat." Leroy spoke then, his voice strangely formal and she did as he asked, stumbling over her feet in her haste to do so.

Glancing up she saw that Jesse, who was stood unobtrusively beside the door, was watching them, his expression turned inwards in deep thought. When he caught he looking though, he cast an encouraging smile towards her.

"So," Her dad was speaking again and she turned to acknowledge him. "What do you think about this Rachel?"

She glanced hesitantly at the before saying, slowly. "I'm not really sure. I mean, of course I'd like to meet her… but it's kind of weird because I already know who she is and… I don't want to hurt you guys." She admitted, softly.

Her dads' faces softened and they smiled for the first time.

"You won't hurt us Rachel." Hiram assured her, leaning forward to take one of her hands in his across the kitchen table.

"Although we didn't want you to find out like this, we're pretty happy for you to meet Shelby… if that's what you want. You don't have to."

She shrugged. "I mean, I'd like to…"

Leroy glanced up and addressed Jesse. "Jesse, you're familiar with Shelby Corcoran, I believe?"

"Yes, I am." Jesse came to sit next to Rachel, reaching under the table to grasp her hand and rub soothing circles into her palm.

"What are your experiences with her?" Hiram asked. "Do you think she'd be willing to see Rachel?"

Jesse glanced at her, a strange, unreadable expression painted on his face. "Yes," He said, and he seemed almost guilty. "Yes, she would. She lives alone and, as far as I know, has no family."

"Okay, well, Rachel, what do you want to do about this?"

Rachel frowned, looking down at the yellow and red table cloth. For a moment she just bit her lip, mulling over what to reply with. "I think…" She finally spoke, her voice soft. "I'd like to meet her, she is my birth mother after all and… I don't know, it would just be nice to get to know my mother."

Her dads nodded, their expressions creasing for a second, before smoothing out. "We can sort that, okay?" Leroy asked and Rachel nodded slowly.

"Okay…" She worried her bottom lips with her teeth for a moment before asking. "What will you do?"

"We'll get in contact with Shelby, ask her if she wants to meet you, is that okay?"

Rachel nodded slowly, glancing down. Jesse's grip on her hand tightened and he spoke again.

"I could try and get hold of her for you?"

Leroy gave him a piercing look and then spoke, carefully. "Can you do that?"

"Sure," Jesse shrugged, trying not to cringe under the older man's intense gaze. There was no way he could know, no way at all. "I'll give you her number."

"That would mean a great deal to us Jesse," Hiram replied, smiling at him a little.

"Of course." Fumbling with his iPhone, he pulls it out, quickly writing down Shelby's number on a napkin for them and passing it across the table.

"Thank you," Leroy took the paper, folding it in his hands and pushing it into his pocket.

"Rachel, if you want we- me and your dad could- organise a meeting with Shelby, us three, just to make sure everything's okay and then go from there, okay?"

"Okay," She nodded, a little uncertain and then glanced up at Jesse. "Can we go?"

"Sure," Leroy waved them away, already programming the number into his phone. "Thanks for the number Jesse."

"No problem." Jesse replied, and tried to push away the sinking feeling in his stomach.

**Xxx**

**Oo! It's all kicking off! I hope you guys liked the way Rachel found out, I wanted Jesse to be completely innocent and free of anything to do with it, so **_**yay**_**!**

**To those who don't like Shelby, don't worry about it too much and just stick with me k?**

**Hey guys, I just recently started writing the first part of what I am now calling the home stretch of this story! To be fair, the home stretch is split up into like ten parts of about 30 pages each, but still! Momentous occasion. **

**Nothing to worry about though, there's still a lot more to come. **

**Thank you all so much for the replies from the last chapter. I feel so blessed to have so many wonderful reviewers who show their appreciation, you guys are amazing. **

**By the way, I'm rejecting the new series mostly, because RIB doesn't deserve my time and effort. Oh and who saw the riot that Jon Groff caused at the Broadway Flea Market? He had to have THREE body guards. **

**Thank you to everyone who followed me on tumblr by the way and I hope you all enjoyed the little ficlets and sneak peaks I put up for your reading pleasure. All of you who haven't, follow me and you'll be able to read the St Berry goodness! :)**

**Anyway, thank you to: Likewow5556, , northstar61, Broadwayfreak5357, Pall, xXSerendipitous SpontaneityXx, BestofLouckJo, auhaes55, TVHollywoodDiva, theyhadadate and tomfeltonlover1991!**

**And I may possibly give a sneak preview to anyone who reviews ;)**

**Thank you!**

**Love **

**Ray **

**Youtube, Twitter and Blogger: DreamsofRay**

**Tumblr: onemilliongoldstars **


	31. Chapter 30

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

They were sat, later that evening, curled up on Rachel's bed and involved in a slowly heightening make out session. Rachel ran her hands up his back, smiling a little as she felt him shiver beneath her and then gasping as his hand brushed against her bare mid-rift, her shirt riding up to give him easy access. She tried to suppress a moan as Jesse peppered soft kisses down her neck and let only a small whimper escape. His hand was just drifting up, beneath her top and skating over her stomach, when his phone began to ring vibrating madly.

He groaned into her skin and she giggled, pulling him closer and murmuring in his ear.

"Just leave it."

"I cant," He moaned, pulling away and trying to ignore her moan of protest as he pulled her with him to retrieve his phone from across the room, unwilling the break their contact.

"If this is Johnny, I swear…" He grumbled and she laughed again, a little breathlessly as he grabbed the phone, flopping back on the bed with her.

"Hello?"

"Jesse?"

He sat straight upright, his eyes widening. "_Mom_?" He asked, outraged.

"Jesse, darling, we're back in the country… No, Katrina, don't put that there!" He heard her scold the maid.

"You're what?" He questioned, his mouth hanging open.

"Back from Bali! Well, I'm back from Bali and your father's back from wherever he was… New Mexico was it?"

"I… I don't know?" A small warm hand on his arm made him start and he turned, seeing her curious expression. "My mom." He mouthed, before going back to listen to his mother, smiling as she slid to sit beside him, resting a hand on her knee as she leant her head gently on his shoulder, clasping his hand in hers.

"Anyway, so we're both back for two or three days and we want to see you. Come around for dinner, spend the night at home. I know your father wants to talk to you."

Jesse cringed at this and glanced at Rachel. "One sec mom." Covering the mouth piece with his hand, he turned to her, saying. "My parents are back in town, they want me to go down tomorrow and have dinner with them."

Her eyes brightened. "Great!"

"Are you _kidding_?" He replied, his voice soft. "They're my parents."

"Exactly, they brought you up."

He snorted. "No, they didn't."

"Jesse come on, my parents know you really well, but your parents have never even met _me_. I have to meet them."

"Why would you want to?" He asked, completely baffled.

"_Because… _they're your parents."

"All the more reason not to."

"Jesse." She fixed him with a hard stare and he sighed heavily, speaking into the mouth piece of the phone again.

"Hey mom?"

"Yes Jesse, what?"

"We'll be there."

"We?" She seemed distracted.

"Rachel and I."

"Who's Rachel?" She questioned.

"My girlfriend." He put his arm around her and sighed when he heard his mother's voice through the phone.

"Fine, fine. I'll see you tomorrow."

The phone went dead and he pulled it away from his ear, his frown deep.

"Everything okay?" Rachel asked softly.

He rolled his eyes and his tone took on a sarcastic edge. "My mother just called. _Of course_ everything isn't okay."

She just shook her head, throwing a playful punch to his shoulder before pulling his lips back to hers and continuing where they left off.

xxx

From the opposite side of the car, Rachel observed Jesse closely, watching as he ran a hand through his already tousled locks yet again.

He was nervous. She could see it in the way that he sat; the tension obvious in his shoulders and the furrow that had been marring his brow all day.

Could his parents really be that bad? Having grown up with nothing but love and encouragement from both of her parents, Rachel found it hard to imagine so. But then she remembered how he cringed from any mention of his parents, preferred to stay at his Uncle's and it occurred to her that she had never seen Jesse's childhood home, or even knew where it was.

Glancing up at him, she noticed that the tension was creating creases around his eyes, his hands clenching the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles had turned white.

Reaching over, she gently pulled a hand from the wheel, his gaze shooting down to her. She smiled at him and he attempted a small smile in return, before turning back to the road as she held his free hand.

After what seemed an age of driving in tense silence, they finally turned up a drive which was partially hidden by elegantly crafted trees. Beneath the tires, the gravel crunched as a rather large, red brick house came into view. It was classically laid out, a front door, with accompanying porch, set in the middle of the bottom floor and old style, white windows looking out onto the pristine driveway, where two cars, a Mercedes she thought, and what she thought could have been a Porsche, although she wasn't certain, where parked at opposite ends. The smooth curve of the lawn, with immaculate, beautiful flower beds bordering it, seemed almost unreal in it's perfection.

"Wow," Rachel breathed, her eyes wide.

"Yeah," His tone was filled with bitterness. "There's no place like home."

She tossed him a sympathetic smile and squeezed his hand gently.

Pulling up a little away from the Porsche, he pulled the key from the ignition, jumping out of the car and heading around to open her door, holding out his hand for her. Taking it grateful she clambered down and stood next to him, looking up in worry when she noticed the unfamiliar hardness around his features. Following him around to the boot, she watched as he pulled out their respective over night bags, his hardened expression not shifting.. Grabbing his hand, she halted his movements and he looked down at her, questioningly. Leaning up, she pressed her lips to his in a soft, chaste kiss and whispered in his ear.

"It'll be okay."

Looking up at him, she was relieved to see his expression had softened, before frowning when it turned concerned again. As they walked towards the door he said, his voice low.

"Listen, my parents aren't the nicest of people and I'm not about to pretend that they are. I'm going to apologise now for anything they say and just remember how much I love you. My parents are manipulating, scheming morons and you shouldn't take any notice of them."

Rachel cast him a disapproving look and he reached over to ring the bell. Leaning down, he whispered in her ear. "We could still make a run for it."

She giggled, but shook her head as the door swung open. To her surprise, instead of the elegant, slightly scary woman she expected, a smaller, middle aged woman, whose mousy brown hair was pulled back in a tight bun and wearing a maids outfit.

"Hey Katrina." Jesse smiled at her, stepping into the room and pulling Rachel with him, watching in amusement as she gazed around, her mouth hanging open.

The floor was tiled in pristine marble, the large staircase sweeping and grand as she handed her own coat to Katrina. All around the walls pictures hung, expensive vases standing on equally expensive tables. Turning to Jesse she floundered, looking for words to describe what she saw in front of her.

"Grand isn't it." HE remarked, giving the room a cursory glance.

"Master Jesse, Miss Berry, if you'd like to follow me, Mr and Mrs St James are in the dining room." Katrina lead them through a pair of white double doors, opening them to allow them into a wood panelled room, with a large mahogany table in the centre and a small drinks bar in the corner.

In that corner stood a tall man, his hair straight and dark, but ruffled like Jesse's. He was lean, dressed in a sharp suit and when he turned he fixed her with a sharp gaze, his almond eyes cold and calculating as he looked her over and suddenly Rachel felt like the light blue dress she was wearing was a rag.

Fidgeting, she glanced away, looking up at Jesse when she felt his hand snake around her waist.

"Son." His father nodded his way, downing a shot of amber liquid and slamming the shot class back on the bar.

"Father." Jesse replied, leading Rachel to the table and pulling out the chair, gesturing for her to sit down.

She did so slowly, eyeing the large centre piece of flowers that separated her from Jesse's parents. Sitting beside her, he reached over and took her hand in his beneath the table, squeezing it gently. She tossed him a small smile.

His father cast them a look, eyeing them with a strange expression and staying beside the drinks bar. Just as her heart beat began to thud faster the loud bang of a door opening broke the silence of the room. Following Jesse's lead, Rachel struggled to stand, turning to look at the woman behind her.

She was tall, which was accentuated by the ivory silk pant she wore, all sharp edges. Her chestnut coloured hair was cropped short, revealing her long, thin neck and a pointed chin. Turning, she met Rachel's eyes with her own smoky blue eyes, her gaze piercing. She spared Rachel a moments notice and then turned to her son.

"Jesse, you look well."

"As do you mother." They exchanged an awkward hug that lasted only a few seconds, before Rachel was being lead back to her seat with Jesse. His father sat at the head of the table, reading through a stack of files which he put away once they seated themselves, Jesse closest to his father, Rachel on his other side and his mother opposite them.

"Rachel, this is my mother, Caroline and my father Andrew." Rachel smiled, her heart constricting a little in chest as she registered their cold expressions.

"Mother, father," Jesse addressed them curtly. "This is Rachel, my girlfriend."

"Oh?" His mother's brows rose and Rachel was glad that her baby bump wasn't very visible in this dress.

Jesse however said. "She's pregnant."

There was a hard, empty silence, where Rachel cast Jesse a wide eyed glance and his mother and father looked at him, stony eyed.

"What do you expect us to do?" His mother spoke finally. "Support you?"

"You got yourself into this, you get yourself out." Mr St James said flatly, pulling out his files again.

"The child isn't mine," Jesse supplied, clasping Rachel's hand beneath the table, and bringing it up to rest beside her cutlery.

"You're dating a whore Jesse?" His mother's voice was still flat, emotionless, speaking as if Rachel, who had gasped at the accusation, wasn't even there.

"No," Jesse's teeth ground together.

"Then what?"

Jesse cast a glance at Rachel, who was unable to do anything but stare at him, open mouthed.

"Rachel was mugged and raped. I found her the night it happened, it's how we met."

"Why is she not just getting an abortion?" Jesse's father spoke then, not looking up.

"I…" The word was out of her mouth before she could stop herself and slowly both parents turned to look at her, fixing her with hardened looks that made her almost cringe away. Clearing her throat self consciously she continued. "I didn't want one."

Caroline fixed her with a hard glance and then turned to Jesse. "You don't expect us to care for the child at all. Of course."

"I have parents," Rachel's anger fused within her, growing stronger."They will help me."

"And they know about this do they?" Caroline's voice was sharp, almost angry.

"Of course," Rachel replied immediately.

Caroline kept eye contact for a long moment before turning suddenly and saying. "Bring in the food."

A troop of maids came in, each carrying plates which they placed in front of each person. Rachel cringed when she noticed the hunk of meat on her plate, its juices oozing out over the white china.

"Mom," Rachel could tell he was speaking through gritted teeth. "I told you Rachel's a vegetarian."

"Did you?" Caroline asked, starting to cut up her meat. "I don't recall it."

"Well I did." Jesse's voice practically shivered with disgust.

"Would you like something else Rachel?" Caroline set her eyes on Rachel, her eyes narrowed in a way that made Rachel certain that the answer of 'yes' would not be tolerated.

"I'm fine," She glanced down at her plate and then back up again, attempting not to gag. "Don't worry."

"There Jesse. If the girl says she's okay, she's okay."

Jesse's hands were clenched so tightly around his fork that Rachel was worried it was going to bend. Reaching over, she touched his knee gently, and his head snapped in his direction. Wordlessly, he speared as many beans as he could on his fork and transferred them to her plate, taking the meat and placing it on her plate. Smiling gratefully, she grasped his spare hand under the table, squeezing it tenderly and mouthing 'thank you' in his direction.

"So Rachel," His mother's sharp voice broke through their reverie. "Where do you go to school? St Margarets and Carmel?"

"Oh," Rachel struggled to hide her surprise at the fact that the two schools she had named were either private or expensive. "I actually go to McKinley."

"Oh."Caroline's eyebrows rose and she coughed a little, looking away. "I suppose not everyone can afford what we can."

"No." Rachel shook her head, letting her head fall forward to cover her flush. "I like it."

"And what do you want to do?"

Rachel straightened her shoulders, saying clearly. "I'm going to be on Broadway."

"Oh…" Caroline glanced away, and Rachel caught her rolling her eyes.

"And what about you Jesse, have you finally decided what you're going to do with your life?" Andrew remarked gruffly from across the table.

Jesse sighed deeply. "I've told you before dad, I'm going on Broadway."

The loud bang of a fist on the table made Rachel jump in her seat, looking up with wide eyes to see Andrew's heavy set eyebrows creased together.

"No you are not."

"I am dad." Jesse replied, calmly.

"Why are you wasting your life on this Jesse?" He demanded, his brows creasing even more.

"I'm not wasting my-"

"Damn it, you know you are! Why cant you have a real aspiration, not just shacking up with some knocked up whore and going off to dance around the stage!" Jesse shot up, his hands balling into fists as his father took a menacing step in his direction. "It isn't going to happen and you know it. Just give it up."

"Why, because you want me to?"

"No, because it is ridiculous and idiotic." His voice was hard and cold, displaying no emotion whatsoever. "You're washed up dreams," He glanced at Rachel. "Both of you."

Turning, he slammed from the room and Jesse turned on his heel, stalking towards the bar in the corner.

"Excuse me," Caroline said, hurrying from the room.

Turning, Rachel pushed herself from her chair and made her way towards Jesse, watching with fascination as he pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniel's, pouring it into a shot class and downing it quickly.

"That's kind of sexy you know," She told him, running a hand lightly through his hair and smiling when he turned to her, a questioning expression on his face. "Drinking it straight." She confirmed and he smirked, pulling her into his chest.

"Did your mom go after your dad?"

He pulled away a little, raising his eyebrows and saying. "My mother is a nervous smoker."

Rachel couldn't help but giggle a little at his expression.

"God, I'm so sorry about my parents." He shook his head, pulling her closer again. "We can go if you want." She heard him say from above her and shook her head against his chest.

"No, we should at least stay the night, they're your parents."

"Don't remind me," He groaned and she laughed again.

Pulling out of his embrace a little, she kept hold of his hand as she observed the room, which was empty but for them.

"What now?" She wondered aloud and he smiled tenderly, tugging her closer again and bending to kiss her softly on the lips, groaning into her mouth as her hand trailed innocently down his chest.

"I will get Katrina to show you to your rooms." Carline's voice made them jump apart, staring at her as she whisked from the room and Katrina moved forwards to show them upstairs. Grabbing their bags, Jesse followed her, leading Rachel, whose heels clicked against the marble staircase. The landing was much like the hall, grand and impressive, but cold.

Pushing open a door, Katrina ushered Rachel inside, saying. "This will be your room Miss." Stepping in, Rachel looked around, taking in the wood panelled floor cream walls, dark curtains framing the only window, a large double bed and matching dresser the only other two pieces of furniture in the room.

Jesse put her bag on her bed, smiling at her and beckoning her out again, dismissing Katrina with a nod.

"Where are we going?" She asked, as he took her hand and led her a little further down the hallway and through another door.

"My room," He explained, waving a hand at the room before her. Stepping in, Rachel felt a thrill as she took in her boyfriend's childhood room.

The walls were a dark blue, and the furniture was sleek and modern. Most of the things were gone, presumably to his Uncle's house, where he was now spending most of his time, but there were some pictures, a few books littering the shelves and she smiled a little as she ran her hands over the battered spines of some of his childhood favourites. Moving to the dresser, she ran a hand over the dust free surface, looking closely at the few pictures left on the dresser, one of him and his parents, one of him and Eliza. Turning away quickly, her eyes spied a large, old fashioned trunk in the corner and she moved forwards, pushing the lid up and moving to kneel beside it. The hinges creaked and her eyes widened as she spotted the stuffed animals, picture books and train sets of his childhood. Her hand reached out of its own accord and pulled out a battered white rabbit, fingering the ears, smoothing out the fur.

"Flopsy," A voice said from behind her and she turned to smile at him, looking down at the rabbit again. "He was one of my favourites."

"He's so sweet," Her eyes teared up slightly and she cursed the pregnancy hormones, running a finger beneath the toy's beady eyes.

"You can have him."

She looked up at him, her smile widening. "Really?"

"Of course," He shrugged, crouching beside her and running a finger over the stuffed toy. "He isn't doing anyone any good in there." He motioned to the trunk.

"Thank you," She smiled and looked back to the trunk. "This is your childhood then?"

"Sure is," He smiled. "I'd forgotten about this."

"It's nice," She said and, in added, in answer to his questioning look. "That you kept it."

He shrugged, and glanced back to the trunk. "I didn't really know what else to do with it." Standing, he held a hand out to her and she took it gratefully, standing.

"So," Her grin was amused. "I guess your parents don't trust us enough to let us in a room together."

He rolled his eyes, "guess not. What would you like to do now?"

She shrugged. "I don't know," She answered honestly. "I'm not really tired."

"How about a movie?" His smile was gentle, familiar and she smiled back, holding the rabbit closer to her and nodding.

"Sounds great."

**Xxx**

**I cant talk much guys, I'm ill :( but this chapter is a long one to make up for the small delay and also to make up for the fact that I'm gonna be REALLY busy soon. **

**Thank you to: tomfeltonlover1991, notyourghost, stgroffleberry, auhaes55, TVHollywoodDiva, , Broadwayfreak5357, xXBroadwayBabyXx, star2525 (**_**hey, welcome! And thank you!**_**), theyhadadate, xXSerendipitousSponanteityXx, tmd092, likewow5556, northstar61, mistressamy, JessicaAlice and MissRe.**

**Thank you all. Also, I know I hinted at previews, but I kept forgetting and I've been rushed off my feet and really ill and basically I'm really sorry. I'm working on a one shot to make up for it and 'fix' Asian F.**

**Thanks to all who followed me on tmblr, you guys got previews and an exclusive one shot :)**

**Love **

**Ray **

**Tumblr: onemilliongoldstars **


	32. Chapter 31

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

_Darkness. Cold. Coarse voices. Laughing. A strange smell. Something rough against her back. Hands… hands on her, around her. _

_Touching her._

She shot upright, her heart hammering in her chest as she clutched her sheets closer to her with a trembling hand. Images, like the memories of ghosts, drifted through her mind, making a tremble run through her and before she knew what she was doing she had pushed herself out of the bed and was stumbling in the dark down the hallway and towards Jesse's room.

"Jesse?" She pushed open the door, stepping cautiously inside and hovering for a moment, unsure of herself.

"Rache?" His tired, gravely voice came to her from within the darkness. A light clicked on, illuminating the room and he sat up, running a hand through his unruly curls and looking at her through hooded eyes. The sheet around him had fallen down to his waist, revealing a thin shirt, with clung to his finely toned chest and sent a shiver through her.

"Rache?" He asked again, sitting up further and she realised that she was still stood uncertainly in the doorway. He started to push back his sheets, but she forced herself to stagger towards him, her voice trembling as she said, quietly.

"I had a nightmare." She stumbled to a halt again, just a few paces from his bed, feeling foolish.

Wordlessly, he held his arms out and she fell onto the bed, burying herself into him, amazed at the undeniable comfort she felt there. His strong arms wrapped around her, holding her close and rocking her gently as a few tears trailed down her cheeks, a shuddering breath escaping her.

"Come on," He helped her back onto the bed beside him, covering her with the sheets and keeping his arms around her, holding her close.

Once she'd cried herself out, he ran a gentle hand down her back, comforting her.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded silently against his chest and they stayed like that for a minute, until Jesse finally said, softly.

"I thought the nightmares had stopped."

"They had," She rubbed her cheek against the soft cotton of his shirt. "Just sometimes, when I have a bad day…"

He sighed from above her and ran a soothing hand over her head, combing his fingers through her hair.

"I knew we shouldn't have come."

"No, it's okay," She tried to comfort him. "I wanted to."

"We're going home tomorrow." He told her, firmly, cutting off her weak protests. "I don't care what you say, it's this place, this house… _them_. They're toxic and I wont have you around it any more." He tightened his grip on her and she smiled, nuzzling him a little.

As sleep pulled her in, she started to get up, trying to pull away from his grip.

"Where are you going?" His voice was heavy with sleep.

"Back to my room…" She bit her lip anxiously, pulling at it with blunt teeth.

"Why?"

"I'm going to fall asleep Jesse," She told him ruefully and he pried open an eye to look at her.

"Do you really want to go back to your room?"

Flushing, she glanced down at the bed sheets and shook her head slowly.

"So don't." He suggested, pulling her further down into the bed with him, holding her closely to him. She smiled and snuggled up beside his warm body, as he wrapped his arms around her petit frame. Pulling the covers over them he pressed a quick kiss on her nose and she giggled, her eyes still closed and tried to get closer to him. Her sighed, contented and together the pair fell into a restful slumber quickly.

A few hours later, Rachel woke, frowning when she felt the warmth of a body beside her. Opening her eyes, she turned and looked at him, smiling at the slightly vacant expression on his sleeping face. One curl hung from his hair over the skin of his forehead and his dark lashes rested gently against his cheek as his chest rose steadily up and down. She ran a gentle hand over his jawbone, brushing it ever so softly and smiled as he grumbled a little, turning into her touch.

Slowly, carefully, so as not to awaken him, she pulled out of the tangle of bed sheets, extracting her leg from between his, a flush warming her cheeks as she took in their compromising position.

Grabbing the bunny from the bedside, she padded quietly across the room, taking one last look at him, before shutting the door silently behind her. Stepping out into the corridor, she glanced up and down it… and froze.

Caroline was once again dressed in a pant suit, however this time it was black and pin striped.

She looked Rachel over, one eyebrow rising slowly.

"That is my son's room." She said finally after a moment's silence.

Rachel hurried to answer. "We slept together last night."

Her eyes widened the moment the words had left her lips and she hastened to add, her mouth going dry under Caroline's unfaltering scrutiny. "I mean… we shared a bed… as in, we slept in the same bed…. We didn't… nothing… well, we didn't do… _that."_

Caroline stared at her, her expression almost incredulous for a minute, before glancing down at the stuffed animal that Rachel clutched in her hand.

"That is Jesse's toy. His favourite."

"I know," Rachel replied simply. "He gave it to me."

Caroline's eyes narrowed and she took a slow step forwards. "Listen very carefully Miss Berry. You may think that what you have with my son is a _bond_." She spat the word out and Rachel interrupted her, her eyes narrowing.

"I love your son, and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way."

"I'm sure he _thinks_ he does." Caroline answered, sharply. "But he does not, Jesse St James down not deserve someone like you dragging him down. You have to _be _somebody to be a St James and you Miss Berry are not somebody… or at least, you aren't anybody worth knowing. So don't expect to stay around."

With that she brushed past Rachel, leaving her to stand gaping.

**xxx**

Later, as Rachel emerged from the bathroom, she halted outside the broad doorway to the front room and listened to the raised voices inside.

"What?" That was Jesse, she recognised his voice immediately.

"She isn't fit to be part of this family Jesse." His mother's voice was hard and cold. "She isn't part of this world, our world."

"All the better! Don't you dare insinuate she isn't good enough! She is the best woman I have ever met…"

"Jesse honestly." His mother sighed heavily. "She's _pregnant_."

"What does that have to do with anything?" He asked frostily.

"It has everything to do with it, and you know it."

"For God's sake, you are just prejudice."

"I am not prejudice Jesse, I just know a hopeless case when I see one."

"We're going mother." His voice was still cold. "I'll see you again when you've seen reason."

The door slammed open and Rachel jumped back, alarmed. He caught sight of her immediately and his expression crumpled with regret. Wordlessly, he took her in a tight embrace.

"Let's get out of here."

**Xxx**

"Rachel?" Later that evening, Hiram poked his head around Rachel's door, to see his daughter placing down a book and shushing him quickly.

She gestured down and he was surprised to see Jesse, in only his socks, jeans and t-shirt, sprawled out across half of Rachel's double bed, sound asleep.

His mouth curled up in a smile and he gestured to her to follow him, waiting as she glanced at Jesse once more, his heart softening as she ran a gentle hand over his curls, smoothing them, and then followed him down the stairs.

"Hey papa," She smiled once they were in the kitchen. "Hey daddy."

"Hello sweetie." Leroy looked up at her as he placed a cartoon of orange juice in the fridge, obviously putting away the last the groceries.

"How was your evening with the St James's honey?" Hiram sat down at the kitchen table and Rachel sat across from him, sighing.

"Not very good papa."

"Why not?" His brows creased.

"They aren't very nice people." Rachel shrugged. "They were pretty stuck up and abrasive."

"Hmm," Leroy leant on the back of a spare chair and eyed his daughter with a well practiced gaze. "Are you okay honey?"

Rachel shrugged again. "I'm fine daddy, Jesse made up for it."

"Oh yes," Hiram piped up, "speaking of Jesse, why exactly is he asleep on your bed?"

Rachel flushed a little and replied, a little defensively. "He had a tiring day, all of his studying… he crashed and… papa, please don't make me wake him, he really needs to sleep. I can sleep in the spare room if that's what you're worried about."

"No, no…" Hiram shook his head and glanced up at his partner, who nodded once.

"We trust you honey."

"Thank you daddy," Rachel's frown faded into a wide smile as she got up to kiss them both on the cheek. "Could I go back up to my room now? I'm really tired."

"Of course," Leroy smiled at her, patting her on the head, an easy feat as she was so small. "Sleep well."

"Thank you, you too." Rachel hurried back to her room, smiling when she saw that her boyfriend was still crashed peacefully on the bed.

Changing and running through her night time toilette easily, she gently coaxed his half asleep body under the covers before sliding in beside him. Still asleep, he turned to wrap her in his embrace and she happily returned it, pecking him gently on the cheek as she clicked the light off and fell easily to sleep, happy and extremely comfortable in the arms of her boyfriend.

**Xxx**

When she woke up it was dark outside, even the moon obscured by the thick clouds. She frowned, her hand slipping down to her stomach to try and figure out what the strange feeling had been. Running a hand over her stomach, her frown deepened when she felt the slight tugging again, a strange flutter inside her… almost like a movement.

Her breath caught in her throat when she realised, and she shot up, tugging at the arm around her.

"Jesse!" The sound gasped from her throat and she gasped, her hand cupping her stomach as he sat up, asking, his voice thick with sleep.

"What? What is it?"

"T-The baby…" Rachel managed to gasp out and he sat up, his hand going out to flick his bed side light on and stare at her with wide eyes.

"The baby?" He repeated, sitting forward.

"I think he's kicking." She murmured and moved closer to him, pulling his hand out to touch her stomach, where another tug of movement came.

Jesse's eyes widened even further and he stared at her stomach open mouthed. Gently he shifted himself to sit behind her, his hands wrapping around her and resting on her stomach.

They sat, silent and still, both wrapped up in the wonder of the moment, until the movement slowed and finally stopped. Slowly, he pulled her around to him, hugging her tightly.

"That was amazing." She murmured into him and he nodded in agreement as she snuggled closer to him.

"Amazing," He repeated and then smiled down at her, a little wryly. "This is becoming a bit of a habit."

"What?" She asked, softly.

"Waking up together."

**Xxx**

Jesse watched, a few days later, as Rachel's hands knotted themselves together anxiously, turning in endless circles as he drove smoothly through the streets of Lima. She was nervous, that much was easy to tell. She had been on edge all week, ever since her fathers had informed her of the meeting that they had set up with Shelby, her mother. He watched as she consciously pulled her hands apart, as she had done twice already, and smoothed down her skirt.

"Are you sure-" She started and he cut through her.

"You look beautiful."

She narrowed her eyes at him in worry and then brushed down her skirt again. "You're biased." She muttered.

"That may be so, but I will tell you now that you are most definitely looking beautiful tonight."

She cast him another look, but the corners of her mouth turned up to create a small, amused smile.

After another comfortable silence, she asked again. "Will she-"

"She will love you, there's no way she couldn't." He promised, cutting her off once again.

She smiled again and reached over to squeeze his thigh as he pulled into a parking space in front of the restaurant.

Her eyes became wider and she looked at him with a panic stricken expression as she spotted her fathers and the dark haired woman at a table right near the window. He squeezed her hand reassuringly and clambered out, moving around to her side of the car and pulling open the door for her, holding out a helpful hand.

Once she was out of the car, he held her for a moment in a close embrace, rubbing soothing circles on her back and reaching down to peck her on her lips, softly.

"I'm only a phone call away, okay?" He asked, holding her against him until she answered.

"I'm scared." Her voice was soft, anxious and he reached down, kissing her more firmly this time, pushing her back against his car and ravishing her lips until she was panting beneath him. With a Herculaneum effort, he pulled himself away finally, a smirk playing on his lips as he heard the groan escape her.

"Any better?" She cast him a quick glare and he laughed, still keeping her in his embrace, cuddling her as she burrowed closer. "Okay?"

"Okay," She breathed in the familiar, comforting scent of his jacket and then, finally, let go. "Wish me luck?"

"You won't need it." He smiled, kissing her gently again. "But good luck."

Turning, she watched as he got back in her car and blew him a kiss when he looked at her. He mimicked catching it and pressing it to her heart and she laughed. It was incredibly cheesy but she appreciated the gesture as she watched him evaporate into the night, staying a few seconds after his tail lights had disappeared around the corner, sighing heavily and then turning to face the large, glass fronted restaurant, swallowing down her fears.

**Xxx**

**Sorry if this one seemed a little short, but you guys are catching up with me a scary amount and it seemed like a good place to finish the chapter. So most of this was written a little while again and re-written about five times. It was probably quite cheesy but ah well! Some baby drama for those of you who like that kind of thing and some Shelby/Rachel drama to come for those of you who like that :)**

**Thank you to: northstar61, hutton207, xXSerendipitous SpontaneityXx, SlyPuff RavenDor, TVHollywoodDiva, Rosy2609, JessicaAlice, star2525, auhaes55, MissRe, Broadwayfreak5357, , Likewow5556, BestofLuckJo, mistressamy and StBerry Lover24. **

**We've passed the 400 reviews mark guys! Yay! Party! ;) **

**Thank you to BestofLuckJo for providing the fourhundredth review and for always providing such enjoyable and constructed reviews :)**

**Also, to all of you who asked how I was and wished me well- thank you! I'm feeling much better now thank you. **

**Thanks to those who followed me on tumblr too- as always, get sneak peaks, St Berry loving and mini drabbely type things on tumblr! I'm onemilliongoldstars dot tumblr**

**Much love, as always!**

**Ray **

**Xxx**

**Tumblr: onemilliongoldstars**

**FictionPress and Twitter: DreamsofRay**


	33. Chapter 32

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**For those of you waiting for Shelby/Rachel drama, here it is ;)**

**Chapter dedicated to JessicaAlice 3**

**xxx**

Shelby watched the two men with a mixture of curiosity and nerves. She couldn't quite figure out how either of them felt about the sudden reunion between herself and Rachel and just how much they knew about her desire for such a reunion to take place.

They sat beside each other on the opposite side of the table, taking quietly, taking sips of their iced water as they conversed in low tones.

If Shelby was honest, she was pretty nervous about this too. She had spent so long plotting her way into Rachel's life and then suddenly, Rachel decided to find her of her own accord. It was all quite surreal. When Leroy had called her and asked to set up a meeting her immediate answer had been yes, of course. She had then spent all week worrying and all day going over possible scenarios in her head of what could happen. Some involved Rachel throwing herself into Shelby's arms upon sight, others involved Rachel throwing her _water_ at Shelby, before screaming at her.

She couldn't quite work out which was less plausible.

The sound of a car pulling up outside made them all look up and the trio immediately recognised Jesse's car. They watched, silent now and unabashed as Jesse assisted Rachel out of the car, Holding out a hand to her and smiling, pulling her into a tender embrace as the talked. A gasp left Shelby's mouth as Jesse pressed Rachel back against the car, kissing her firmly and Leroy smiled a wry smile, saying, his tone understanding.

"They've been dating for a while."

She managed to gather herself just in time, remembering that she was meant to know nothing about Rachel and Jesse's union and nodded. Watching as he spoke to her again, before getting in his car and starting away.

Rachel stayed there for a long moment, a lone figure on the sidewalk, before turning and walking through the large glass doors into the restaurant.

Shelby's heartbeat began to thump audibly as she was shown to their table and she watched the girl, taking the moment to observe her. She wore a loose peach blouse and a dark blue skirt with a cream cardigan. Her hair, the exact shade of Shelby's, only a little darker, hung around her face in loose curls and she observed her mother with deep, large brown eyes.

As Rachel sat between her dads, Shelby watched, spell bound. She was really here, meeting her daughter. Legally.

It was so strange.

"Shelby," Hiram took the introductions, "This is our Rachel." He squeezed the girl's shoulder gently and Rachel glanced up, obviously nervous and smiled a small smile, saying.

"Hi."

"Hey," Shelby replied, almost breathless and the greeting seemed so insignificant she almost laughed. After all this time, 'hi' was all it came down to.

"Rachel, this is Shelby." Hiram said, pretty unnecessarily.

"We've met before." Rachel supplied and Leroy and Hiram's heads snapped to look at her.

"What?" Leroy frowned in confusion.

"Shelby was at Regionals, right?" She looked to her mother for assurance and received a stunned nod.

"Oh, of course." Leroy glanced at her and then back, his face guarded.

"And at dinner once," Rachel continued, oblivious to the flare of panic that flashed across Shelby's face.

"What do you mean honey?" Hiram, noticing that his partner was now lost for words, took her hand across the table.

"Jesse and I were having dinner a little while ago," She started, her brows furrowing unsurely as she finally picked up on the stiff atmosphere. "And when Jesse went to pay, Shelby stopped by to say hi."

There was a long moment of silence, as Leroy's brows crumpled together and Shelby looked at her nervously clasped hands.

The arrival of the waiter was welcomed by all as they ordered and waited until, a few minutes later, their food arrived.

Watching as Rachel questioned the poor waiter as to the exact whereabouts of her plate, Shelby held her tongue until Rachel was quite satisfied that the item had not been near any meat and asked.

"Are you vegetarian Rachel?"

"Yes," Rachel nodded, smiling nervously.

"By choice?" Shelby's question made Hiram look up, watching the exchange.

"Yes." Rachel replied firmly. "I don't want any animal's lives to be lost due to my eating habits, it's unjust."

"And you're dads, do they share your life choice?"

"Papa does," She smiled over at Hiram. "But daddy doesn't really." A grin spread across her face as she glanced at her dad.

"And Jesse?" This made all three look up, fixing her with several intense gazes as Rachel replied, unsurely.

"No… He prefers meat."

Shelby, correctly interpreting their looks, hurried to reassure them. "I'm not about to get involved in your relationship with Jesse Rache, it's obvious that you two are very close. I wouldn't come between that."

Rachel's face relaxed instantly and Shelby was shocked at the warmth in her smile. "I'm glad." She confessed easily and then added. "It's just, because you were his coach and everything… and you two don't seem to get on…"

"Jesse and I have our differences." She answered evenly, nodding. "But I would never wish him any harm. He's a good kid."

Rachel nodded and then rose, excusing herself for a bathroom break and Leroy waited until the door to the restroom fell shut before pouncing on Shelby.

"How could you Shelby? It's one thing Rachel seeing you at Regionals, but completely another for you to _approach_ her! Are you out of your mind?"

"I thought I'd say hey," She replied, defensively.

"How could you do that to her- you've broken our contract Shelby!"

"Well, it doesn't matter now, does it?" She responded, watching him with a hard expression.

"Of course it does, how can we trust you now?" Leroy snapped, bundling his napkin in his hands.

"Look, I just saw her and wanted to talk to her, I'm sorry for that."

"You couldn't control yourself Shelby!" His leant forward across the table, dropping the napkin which Hiram quietly bent to retrieve as he continued. "How can we trust you with our daughter?"

"What does it matter now though- we've introduced me to her now."

"It makes _all _the difference Shelby…" Leroy started, but Hiram laid a reassuring hand on his arm and he quietened, leaning back in his chair to watch her angrily.

"Shelby, you have to understand this from our point of view." Hiram's voice was cool, collected as he spoke. "We are worried about our daughter and how any actions on your part will hurt her."

"Surely taking her away from me now will do more harm than good?" Shelby's voice rose slightly and a flicker of panic flashed through her eyes.

"True- still Shelby-"

She cut him off. "Think of Rachel."

His eyes hardened and when he replied his voice was cool and irritated. "We've been putting Rachel first all her life Shelby, our concern is that you won't."

"I will always pit Rachel first." Shelby's voice was solemn.

"How can we believe that you mean that?" Leroy leant forward again and glared at her.

She opened her mouth to reply, but halted, the words faltering in her mouth as she spotted Rachel starting towards them. Closing her mouth she watched the teen make her way towards them and observed as the expression on her face changed as she noted the tension that had fallen since she left.

Slotting herself between her fathers she glanced once quickly at everyone around the table, before turning towards her papa.

Shelby watched in fascination as Hiram's expression shifted almost immediately into a comforting smile and he said, his voice soothing.

"How about you tell Shelby about school honey?"

Nodding, Rachel turned to Shelby and started, fidgeting a little nervously.

"Well, I go to McKinley High and I'm part of the Glee club there, New Directions."

Shelby nodded, trying to encourage the obviously anxious girl.

"Jesse and I are the leads and… well…" She cast a quick glance at Shelby.

"I don't want to sabotage your Glee club Rachel. I promise."

She nodded, seeming a little more reassured and said. "Good," Her expression relaxed and she launched into tales of her school, her friends and her and her boyfriend, completely oblivious to the tension still settling around the three adults around her.

**xxx**

As she pulled the long sock slowly from her foot, Rachel considered how the night had gone.

Weird, was the first word that came to mind.

Meeting her mother, after all this time. After imagining it so many times, in so many different ways, it was almost as if this was just another of her fantasies.

But she had been there. So close Rachel could touch her.

And it was weird because, looking at her, Rachel could see the similarities.

Her hair, longer, darker, but still similar. Her eyes, the exact size of her own. The way she moved, fluid and natural, elegant. It was a bit like looking in a mirror and seeing some strange, contorted reflection of herself.

Clambering slowly into bed, she gazed up at the ceiling, her eyes tracing pictures in the shadows as she thought. Musings chasing musings around in her head as she twisted a loose thread from her comforter around her finger.

What was it like, meeting her mother?

Kind of scary if she was honest. Scary in a way which is completely unfamiliar, because you care _so much_ about what this one person thinks of you, it means so much that it's almost strange to have to try and get it in one meeting.

She'd gone all her life without having a mother, she'd grown used to the idea, so much so that it was almost second nature to her. She'd gotten over the heart ache of not having a woman in her life and now, suddenly, here she was.

It was surreal.

That wasn't to say that she didn't like Shelby, because she did. But it still frustrated her greatly that, for those first sixteen years of her life, this woman had been absent. It was like she had found some other part of herself and she was trying to cram it in somewhere, find somewhere where it should fit, because she knew it should.

Sighing, she turned over again and forced her eyes shut. She would think about it tomorrow.

**xxx**

Her room was quiet apart from the scratching of pens and the occasional flicker of a page turning. Rachel was lying on her bed, chewing on her pen lid thoughtfully as she worked through a set of simultaneous equations and Jesse was sitting up next to her, reading through his bio text book in search of any possible answers to the test he had in a few weeks.

It was peaceful, calm and quiet and the two teens were quite happy to sit in a compatible silence as they worked.

The peace was broken by Rachel emitting a loud huff of annoyance and Jesse frowned, glancing over at her.

"You okay?"

"No," She replied, her voice tense was frustration. "It's these stupid equations."

"What's up with them?" He placed down his bio book and peered over her shoulder.

"I can do the first seven and then I get to number eight and it's like my brain turns to mush." She turned to him, looking up with large eyes from beneath impossibly long lashes. "Help?"

Rolling his eyes at her, he allowed a small amused smile to play on his lips as he took the sheet from her, reading through the question as she shifted to sit beside him.

"Well, I'm no maths genius, but I'll give it a go."

"Thank you." She pressed a quick kiss to his jaw and leaned over, looking at the paper expectantly.

"Well, all you need to do is find what Y equals right? So if Y is equal to 3x-7, what is Y?"

He was cut off by the loud ringing of his cell phone.

Casting her an apologetic glance, he grabbed it from the table saying, his voice a playful growl.

"What's the problem now Johnny? Cant go a few days without talking to me?"

"Jesse."

His eyes widened and he sat up so quickly that his head span for a moment.

"Mom?" He asked, incredulously.

"I would ask who else you expected, but it's obvious that it wasn't me." Her voice was tight, cold.

"What's the problem?"

"Why do you presume there's a problem?" She snapped.

"Well, you've called me…"

"Does there have to be a problem for a mother to call her son?"

He laughed, hard and sarcastic. "Mother, I think we worked out when I was nine that you never call me unless you want something."

There was a long silence and then she said, her voice lower. "It's your father."

He sighed heavily and sat back down beside Rachel, who took his free hand in hers, looking at him with a concerned gaze, tracing patterns on his palm soothingly.

"Now what's he done?"

He caught her hand in his and laced their fingers together, causing a blinding smile to light up her face.

"I cant explain over the phone, I need you to meet me."

"Meet you? Where are you?"

"California… I needed to get away from _him_."

"How am I meant to get to _California_ at such late notice mother?"

"Can't you find a way?" She asked, blankly.

"_No_," He snapped. "I have school on Monday."

"Well, just-"

"I'm not skipping school mother." He interrupted.

"Fine," She huffed a sigh. "I suppose I could come down to Ohio, but I'm only coming to Akron, there's no way I'm coming down to Akron."

"When do you want to meet?"

"Tomorrow, at the Silver Lounge."

"Fine," He replied curtly, impatient to be off the phone. "See you then."

Without waiting for an answer, he pressed the end button and shoved the phone into his pocket.

"Your mother?" Rachel asked gently and he nodded, clambering up to pace back and forwards across her room.

"She asked, no _demanded_, that I meet her in Akron tomorrow for lunch."

"But… Akron's about two hours away isn't it?"

"Just be thankful it wasn't California." He groaned, shaking his head in irritation. His expression softened and he stepped forward, taking her hands gently again. "It means I won't be able to attend our movie marathon tomorrow, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," She smiled, kissing his hands softly.

"Maybe we should make up for it now?" He raised one eyebrow suggestively and she giggled, nodding her assent and pulling him down onto the bed with her, her math homework forgotten on the floor.

**Xxx**

**I missed you all last Thursday! I'm sorry I didn't update, I was swamped with stuff to do. I'm off with my parents in a few days too, so I'll be without my beloved internet once more **_**sniffle sniffle. **_

**Anyway, back to more important matters. I hope y'all enjoyed my last instalment, you're catching up with my mighty fast I've got to admit and, as those of you who follow my tumblr will know, I've been having a bit of trouble with the latest few scenes :/ But yes, I'm beavering away, even though I shall soon lose my life to studying and exams. Expect updates to slow then guys, but I'll give you a fair warning before it happens. **

**So, I think a massive shout out goes to Pall (stgroffleberry) for just being the **_**best**_** on tumblr and being amazing. Thank you :)**

**Another shout out about tumblr, there's going to be a blog dedicated solely to St Berry fanfics, not made by me, made by accio-groff, it looks like it's going to be great. If you guys want I'll give you a shout when it's done and post a link so you can go and peruse. You might find some hidden gems, who knows?**

**Okay, I'm getting to the end now, never fear. Thanks a bunch to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: Broadwayfreak5753 (thanks for all the tumblr notice by the way!), ber1719, Rosy2609, JessicaAlice, , a-true-literati (**_**wow, thank you so much. I meant to message you but never got a chance. I'm glad you enjoy it so much and I look forward to hearing more from you!), **_**tmd092, loveisalifetimeproject, xXSerendipitous SpontaneityXx, star2525, mistressamy (**_**yes, he does.)**_**, auhaes55, northstar61, TVHollywoodDiva, stgroffleberry, Likewow5556 and BestofLuckJo! **

**Thank you all so much, as ever you are amazing. **

**Also, a massive shout out to my best friend, JessicaAlice, who, when I had writer's block, told me that she had faith in me and she knew I could keep on going. This one's for you honey. **

**Looking forward to your thoughts on this one :)**

**Much love, as ever. **

**Ray **

**Xxx**

**Tumblr: onemilliongoldstars**


	34. Chapter 33

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**This chapter is dedicated to xXSerendipitous SpontaneityXx because she is always so very kind when we message. :) xx **

**xxx**

He was late.

Driving at an unhurried pace through the crowded streets of Akron he managed to find a spot close the restaurant and walked the rest of the way, intent on making his mother wait as long as he could.

Arriving at the restaurant, he pushed open the door and raised one eyebrow as he took in the décor of the place. He supposed that the metallic sheen to most of the objects was meant to elegant, but really it just gave off a cold, unfriendly feel.

No wonder his mother chose this place.

"Sir," Looking up he gave his name to the maitre d and followed him across the restaurant to secluded table.

His mother looked exactly the same as she always did. Short, chestnut hair, sharp, angular features and eyes he recognised from the mirror every morning. Her pinstriped suit flawless and completely silent as she rose to greet him.

"Jesse, nice of you to show up on time."

"Mother. You didn't give me a whole lot of warning."

"Indeed," She pressed her lips into a thin line of displeasure and sat slowly back into her seat.

Jesse followed suit and looked up as a waiter materialised beside them.

Placing their orders, they were plunged back into silence, until Jesse finally said.

"So, are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

She fixed him with a beady glare and took a long sip of her G&T before looking up at him and saying, bluntly.

"I'm divorcing your father."

He blinked at her for a moment, his mind going completely blank. Then, finally, he managed to say. "Right…"

"Yes, he is an unfit husband."

"And you say this because…?"

She opened her mouth to reply when the waiter reappeared, seemingly out of thin air and placed their meals on the table. Spearing an elegant piece of asparagus on his fork, he took a bite and looked at his mother expectantly, watching as she toyed with her sweet corn. It was strange to see her looking so vulnerable and his expression softened a little as he said.

"Mom? What's wrong?"

When she looked up her eyes were hard.

"He cheated on me."

Jesse almost choked on his broccoli. Coughing loudly, he took a long gulp of his water and, when he could finally breathe, managed to ask.

"What? When?"

"A few years before you were born."

"Oh," He fell back in his chair and looked at her curiously. "And you only just found out?"

She cringed a tiny bit and he realised suddenly how that must have sounded. He didn't particularly like his mother, but he would never set out to cause her harm either.

"What I mean is," He covered smoothly. "Are you certain?"

"Well," She snapped bitterly. "As his daughter appeared on my doorstep last night I think I probably am, yes."

Jesse almost choked. After coughing and drinking almost half of his water, he finally managed to say, his voice hoarse.

"_Daughter?" _

"Yes," His mother glared at the plate in front of her. "She appeared out of no where, asking for your father and going on about families and her mother and all sorts of nonsense."

"What did she… why…?" He couldn't articulate, couldn't formulate a sentence.

"You think I know?" His mother scoffed, downing her G&T.

"Well, what was her name?"

"How do you expect me to know this Jesse?" Caroline snapped, fixing a scowl on him. "It was a K… Kristy… or Kirsty…"

"Did she say anything…. Anything at all?"

"Not much, wait, she left a number." She pulled out a slim, silver device.

"Give it to me." He took it off her regardless and flipped through the names, stopping suddenly.

"Krissy?"

"That's it." Her face contorted with anger and she snatched the phone from Jesse once he had transferred the number.

"What did dad say?"

"That it was a long time ago… he's useless." She spat.

Jesse took a long look at his mother, bitter and jaded from years of unhappy marriage and felt a sudden surge of pity. This woman would never know love like that the he and Rachel shared. But he also felt resentment, anger even. These people were adults, they were meant to have gotten their lives in order long ago and here they were, arguing like school children, while he knew, in his heart of hearts, that he would never leave Rachel's side.

Suddenly, he was unable to face to sight of this woman in front of him.

"I have to go." He scraped his chair back noisily and she looked at him through narrowed eyes.

"Already?"

"I want to get home," He replied.

"Why?"

"To see Rachel." He answered honestly.

"Rachel," His mother scoffed the name, shaking her head. "You're still with her?"

He spoke through gritted teeth. "Goodbye mother."

Turning on his heel, he stalked from the restaurant.

**Xxx**

The next few days passed in a blur of happiness for Jesse.

Suddenly aware of how unhappy his parents were, he found himself all the more grateful for the love he shared with Rachel and spent as much time as he could with her, revelling in their blissful state.

It was early on Wednesday morning when he let himself quietly into the Berry residence, using the star shaped key Rachel had gotten cut for him. Shutting the door silently behind him, he made his way upstairs, careful to jump the squeaky step. Slipping into her room, he was pleased to find her asleep. Moving slowly towards her, he knelt beside the bed, leaning close to her and watched her for a moment, taking in the absolute perfection of her features before leaning gently over and kissing his way, ever so softly, up her bare arm. She woke when he got to her neck, but kept her eyes shut as he pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

Her eyes were still shut as he pulled away, a small, sexy grin playing on her lips.

"I should warn you," She murmured, her voice still heavy with sleep. "I have a boyfriend who can kick your ass."

"Then we'd better be careful he doesn't catch us." He whispered, quietly and captured her lips with his once again, this time in a long, deeper kiss, which enticed a moan from the back of her throat.

He laughed a small, sultry laugh at this and twisted off her, smirking at her pout as he lay himself next to her on the bed.

"Not that I'm complaining." She said, softly, trailing one hand up and down his chest which was, regrettably for both parties, covered by a T-shirt. "But what are you doing here?"

"Am I not allowed to pay my girlfriend an early morning visit?" He asked, catching her wandering fingers gently and pressing a soft kiss to each.

A shiver ran down her spine, but she continued, slightly breathless. "It's more the early morning bit which I'm curious about."

"I received these this morning, thought you'd want to see."

Pulling a white envelope from his coat pocket he passed it to her and she took it in her hand, turning it over to flip open the seal and pull out the two slips of paper inside. An excited squeal left her mouth, before she stopped it quickly, remembering her still slumbering dads and turned to him, her face creased with delirious happiness.

"He booked them for us ages ago, but I thought I'd surprise you."

She batted him lightly on the chest and whispered, her voice hoarse with exhilaration. "Johnny's opening night in New York!"

"That's right." He smiled. "And we've got front row seats."

"When?" She scanned the tickets for the date, but he answered anyway.

"This weekend."

Her jaw dropped and she tore her gaze from the tickets to stare at him in amazement. "This weekend?"

"Yep," He allowed a small smile to pull at his lips as he watched her reaction. "We're staying all weekend."

"_All_ weekend? But my dads…" She trailed off, glancing at the door, as if expecting one of her parents to appear.

"I cleared it with your dads ages ago." He laughed and leant forward, kissing her nose lightly. "You ready to spend a weekend in NYC, Berry?"

She didn't reply, just launched herself on him, hugging him closely. He returned the embrace happily, squeezing her tight and breathing in the faint apple scent of her shampoo, that clung to her hair.

"I thought it'd probably be you Jesse."

Looking up, the pair pulled away, keeping their hands entwined and smiling up at Leroy.

"I'm sorry daddy, did we wake you?" Rachel asked, trying the school the large smile on her face.

"Yes," He rolled his eyes and cast a curious glance at Jesse. "You told her I gather?"

"Yep," He nodded, smiling even more. "She took it well."

"Really?" He murmured, raising an eyebrow and then glancing at the clock. "Rachel honey, not to break up your party, but you both have school soon, so you'd better get a move on."

Disappearing from the doorway again, he left the two teens alone together. Turning, Jesse wrapped her in his embrace again and gave her a quick, yet firm kiss, his hand running over her bare thigh and sending shivers through her before breaking away and crossing the room. She groaned and scowled playfully in his direction.

"You're mean." She moaned, her voice muffled by a pillow.

He laughed and blew her a kiss across the room. "I'll leave you to get changed."

"You could stay," She whispered, her voice low and sultry and he forced himself to gulp back the flush of pleasure that flashed through him.

She laughed aloud, noticing his reaction to her comment and murmured. "_Pay back_."

He rolled his eyes and took a few steps towards her. "Believe me, I would love to, but I don't think we'd actually ever leave if I did. Plus, your dads are waiting for me downstairs." He moved to the door, and hovered at the doorway, lowering his voice to match her tone. "But you think about me while I'm gone princess." He offered a sleazy wink and ducked from the room, just avoiding being hit with a cushion.

Chuckling, he made his way downstairs, entering the kitchen to find the Mr Berrys already downstairs. Leroy was wearing a crisp suit and drinking coffee as he read the newspaper and Hiram was cooking something at the stove, dressing in jeans and a loose t-shirt.

Jesse tossed him a curious glance as he greeted them and he said, in reply.

"I don't start my shift at the hospital until later."

"Oh," He nodded and smiled, moving closer. "What are you cooking?"

"Porridge," He grinned at the younger man. "Rachel's most recent craving, but only with treacle and a separate pot of Greek yoghurt."

"Of course," He laughed a little and sat in a free seat.

Hiram and Leroy exchanged a glance and Hiram put the porridge into a porcelain bowl and moved to sit on the other side of Jesse, as Leroy put his paper down and fixed him with an unflinching gaze. Realising that they were obviously about to address him, he straightened his spine and took a deep breath.

"Jesse," Hiram started, "You know that we trust you."

"Of course sir, I would hope you do." Jesse nodded.

"We remember what it's like to be a teenage boy… fuelled by your hormones." Hiram continued, a touch of awkwardness staining his tone.

Jesse stayed silent and Leroy put in.

"We need to make sure that you and Rachel will be careful this weekend." Leroy said, bluntly.

Jesse's eyes widened when he realised what the pair were getting at. "Mr Berry, I would never… not with Rachel… We wouldn't…" He floundered, searching desperately for the right words.

"We've seen you together Jesse." Leroy commented. "I mean," His voice turned suddenly bitter. "It's not like much else can happen, she's already… you know."

Hiram cast him a sharp glance and cut in quickly. "What we mean to say Jesse, is that we're perfectly happy for you to go with her to New York, but we need you to promise us that you'll be careful. This is our daughter we're trusting you with."

Jesse nodded slowly and then said, his voice soft. "Mr Berry, Mr Berry, I wouldn't risk your daughters life for anything. I would take a bullet for her. She's the single most important thing in my world and all I want is her health and happiness."

Hiram nodded and smiled at him, clapping him gently on the shoulder. "We trust you Jesse."

Leroy nodded as well and drained his coffee cup, asking, to break the tension that had descended. "You've got exams soon, right Jesse?"

"Very soon." He answered, nodding.

"How's the studying going?"

"Quite well," He smiled slightly, remembering the night before, when Rachel had thought up questions and quizzed him, rewarding him with a kiss each time he answered correctly. Needless to say that after ten questions, studying was abandoned.

"I notice you're spending your evenings with Rachel a lot, I hope she isn't interfering with your studying?"

Quickly suppressing his smile, he answered, "oh no, she's great, a real help."

"What with?" The girl in question asked, appearing in the doorway, her temptingly short skirt making Jesse's mouth go dry.

"Helping Jesse study." Hiram explained, getting up to grab the porridge.

Catching her eye, Jesse smirked at the flush that unfurled up her neck and brushed against her cheeks as she nodded a little.

"Right."

Sitting beside Jesse, she tried to push down her smile as she accepted the porridge gratefully.

**Xxx**

**Sorry guys, I really had to focus on getting my fic sorted for bandtogetherandfight's challenge, but now that that's finished and posted (**_**go review ;) )**_** I can focus on OH OH. And oh my God, you guys are catching me fast. Some major plot points introduced here, who remembered me saying, ages ago, that Jesse and Rachel would go to NYC to see Johnny perform? Well I did :)**

**The new glee songs are awesome, I'm with everyone who says the River must be a Finchel break up song (**_**please God?**_**) and I'm rejoicing at the fact that they have covered this story's namesake.**

**I'm working on a one shot to 'fix' the disaster that will be 3x05, I'll give you a shout when it's ready if you guys want? **

_**And another thing**_**… xXSerendipitous SpontanietyXx updated Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies Closer – it's amazing, as always, go read it!**

**I'm offering up a SNEAK PEAK into next chapter for anyone who does review 'cause I figure that it's been way too long since I offered some sneak peaks. So, anyone who reviews gets a sneak peak :)**

**Have I mentioned the Groff's return? Yes? Ah well, I'm going to say it again- Jesse's coming back- yaaaaaaay! **

**Okay, I'm done. :)**

**Anyway, sorry if this A.N is a little lacklustre I'm so tired and I promise to make up for it next time- which will be sooner I promise. Sorry again for the wait!**

**Thanks to those who reviewed last chapter: xXSerendiptous SpontaneityXx, Rosy2609, Maryol Groff, CupcakeQueen23 (**_**I'll forgive you hon, what's your URL?**_**), star2525, JessicaAlice (that's 'cause you **_**are**_** :) ), auhaes55, Likewow5556, StBerry Lover24, Broadwayfreak5357, northstar61 and TVHollywoodDiva. **

**Remember- review for a sneak peak!**

**Love, as ever, **

**Ray **

**xxx**


	35. Chapter 34

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

"_Hi, this is Krissy, I can't get to the phone right now, so leave me a message and I'll get back to you! Okay, bye!" _

Jesse sighed and waited as the tone went off and said, his voice hesitant. "Hey, Krissy? My name's Jesse, I think… we share a dad? I don't really know if that's the right phrase, but… you know what I mean. I'd like to meet up, so… call me back."

Putting the phone down, he looked up in time to see Rachel open the door and hurry out. Clambering out to meet her, he hugged her close and took her suitcase, waving at her fathers, who stood in the doorway.

"Drive safely," Leroy instructed as Rachel hugged Hiram tightly.

"I will Mr Berry." He smiled and took his hand, shaking it firmly.

"Have a good time." Hiram smiled softly at them as Rachel stepped back and grasped Jesse's hand.

"We will papa, I love you." Turning, the pair started down the drive. The two men stayed at the doorway and watched as Jesse put Rachel's suitcase in the back and opened the door for her, giving her a quick kiss on the hand as he did so.

"Excited?" He asked, sitting beside her and starting up the car as she answered, waving to her parents.

"Very." She grinned at him, her eyes sparkling. "Did you call Krissy yet, by the way?"

He had told her about Krissy the moment he had returned and she had displayed the appropriate amount of enthusiasm, encouraging him in his decision to try and make contact with the sister he never knew he had.

"Yeah, she didn't pick up. I left a message."

"She'll reply soon, I'm sure." She squeezed his hand gently and offered a smile which he returned. A comfortable silence settled through the car and she waited a moment before saying, as if ready to burst with excitement. "I can't believe we're actually going to New York, I went there once, with my dads, but this is different, this time we're going _together_."

"The first time of many," He smiled and then nodded towards the stereo. "Put some music on that we can sing to."

She complied and he smiled at her, a twinkle in his eyes as the opening bars started.

_I don't like cities, but I love New York…_

**xxx**

"Johnny! Lauren!" Jesse called out to the pair as he led Rachel through the lounge and towards them.

The lounge was downtown from their restaurant and they had called the pair once settled and agreed to meet to have dinner, before going back to Johnny's apartment in the city.

The lounge was filled with warm oranges and reds, much more comfortable than the Silver Lounge that Jesse had visited when seeing his mother.

Johnny looked up and caught sight of them, waving in acknowledgement and Lauren moved along her couch to make room. Arriving next to them, the couples embraced and greeted each other with warmth and friendliness. Jesse went and sat on the other chair, next to Johnny, leaving Rachel to sit next to Lauren on the couch.

"We're so glad you could come." She smiled, warmly, small, sapphire earrings sparkling in her ears as she turned her head, her hair loosely styled.

"We wouldn't miss it." Rachel assured her, smiling in return. "I mean… New York, come on!"

Johnny laughed and nodded, bashful. "Still, I'm glad you guys came down."

"Well," Jesse joked, "we had a free weekend and we thought… why not?"

Johnny leaned over and smacked his arm playfully and Rachel rolled her eyes in his direction.

"Ignore him Johnny, we were thrilled to come."

"Thank you _Rachel_," He turned to Jesse. "She is _way_ too good for you."

Jesse looked towards her and smiled softly. "True, which is why it's so amazing she puts up with me."

There is a beat of silence and then Johnny said, taking a long sip of his drink. "Well I certainly wouldn't."

The group laughed and slipped into easy conversation that flowed between them as if they'd known each other all of their lives.

**xxx**

The next day was spent sight seeing and to say that Rachel was a little excited would be an understatement. Jesse had awoken at the perfectly acceptable time of eight thirty, to find that she was up and had been for the last two hours and was pouring over a guide book, making a list of thinks to visit on the hotel's note paper in sparkling gold pen.

When he had returned from the bathroom, she had planned out the next to days and seemed to be simply buzzing with excitement.

He had leant behind her on the chair and she had turned, running a hand through his locks.

"It looks better messy," She told him, smiling and he grinned a little and bustled her out of the door.

After a breakfast of toast for Jesse and Rachel's porridge, treacle and Greek yoghurt, they made their way through the list on the note paper.

They went to Central Park and of course, the Statue of Liberty. They raced each other up the Empire State Building and Jesse won, waiting at the top to pull her into his arms once she met him and tease her continuously for the next half an hour.

Their gay mood soon sobered, when faced with the incredibly sombre sight of Ground Zero, wandering slowly through the memorial sight, where many tears were shed. Rachel held his hand the whole way around, clinging to it tighter the further they went and when they finally came to a halt he pulled out some tissues and softly wiped her eyes, kissing away her tears and murmuring comforting words in her ears.

**xxx**

Later that night, at the hotel room Jesse sat, flicking through a magazine that the hotel had provided as he waited for Rachel to appear from the bathroom.

He had the whole night planned. Today may have been Rachel's, but tonight was all his, and he planned on taking her to the most romantic place known to man: Times Square.

A bleeping on his phone indicated that a text had come through and he flicked it open, reading it quickly.

_St James, I'm going to seriously regret telling you this, but I'm a little nervous. J_

He laughed aloud at his friend and fired off a quick reply.

_Why would you regret that? ;)_

_Because I'm never going to hear the end of it._

_Okay, you're never going to hear this again, but, as it's your opening night on Broadway, I think you're allowed to be nervous. _

…_. I cannot believe you just said that. I'm going to hang this over your head forever ;) _

He laughed loudly again and was about to reply when he heard the sound of the bathroom door clicking open. Looking up, the phone dropped from his hand and onto the bed as he took in his girlfriend.

She looked absolutely stunning.

Completely and utterly stunning.

Her long hair was pinned up in a simple chignon, a few loose strands falling around her pale neck in small curls. Her eyes were smoky and dark and her lips were an alluring red. His heart rate increased slightly as she bit her lower lip gently, a nervous habit.

"What do you think?" She asked, the picture of innocence.

His eyes travelled down her body, curved and ever so tempting as always, despite the slight bump showing. In fact, the bump only added to her beauty and she practically glowed with happiness in the small, dark dress.

Pulling her closer, his hands traced her bare neckline ever so gently and he glanced at her questioningly.

"I was just about to grab a necklace…" She explained, turning to reach for her jewellery box, but he kept hold of her and said.

"No, don't."

Turning, he rummaged in his jacket pocket from earlier and pulled out a small, black velvet box. Taking it in her hands, she gasped as she spied the name on the bottom, almost dropping it.

"Tiffany's… Jesse, I couldn't…"

"What better way to spend my parents money than on you?" He interrupted her gently.

She offered him a tender smile and opened the box to reveal a delicate silver chain that intertwined to hold a small, crystal drop.

He looked at her, slightly vulnerable. "Do you like it?"

"Oh Jesse," Her voice was choked with emotion. "It's beautiful."

"I'm glad." He sounded relived. "And I was hoping…"

He took it from her hands and draped it around her, where it sat perfectly in the hollow of her neck.

"Perfect," He stepped back with a look of satisfaction.

"When did you get this?" She asked, rolling it between her fingers.

"While you were completely engrossed in some of baby clothes," He smiled at the memory of her stopping dead in the middle of the street, before dragging him into a shop to look at row after row of baby grows. "And having that discussion with the shop assistant about the pros of natural fibres in baby clothes versus the washable material."

She laughed and smiled up at him. "It's absolutely gorgeous, thank you."

He grinned and held his arm out to her, saying, charmingly. "How about dinner then?"

She took it gratefully. "Dinner sounds lovely."

**xxx**

As it turned out, he took her to a gorgeous little restaurant down the street from Times Square. They ate and talked, enjoying each others company as they discussed the next day.

"I can't wait." Rachel confessed at one point and took his hand from across the table. "This is better than my wildest dreams, being here with you. It means the world to me and I just want to spend every moment of this weekend with you, seeing this city."

"So do I." Jesse had replied and kissed her hand tenderly.

Rachel had gone to the bathroom when his phone rang loudly, making him jump in his seat. Pulling it out, he answered quickly, so as not to disturb the rest of the restaurant.

"Hello?"

"Jesse? Jesse St James?"

"Uh, yeah? I'm Jesse."

"Oh great! Hey I'm Krissy!"

The voice had a slight southern slur to it, making the ever perky undertone all the more apparent.

"Krissy?" He asked, when he had finally managed to collect his wits.

"Yeah, sorry it took me so long to get back to you, I've been run off my feet recently, what with this and that... I just thought I'd call back."

"Great, yeah, thanks! Uh…" It was uncharacteristic for Jesse to ever be speechless. He was known for his lashing tongue and sharp wit and only Rachel had ever been successful in stopping him. "I just thought I should probably apologise on behalf of my mother… I don't exactly know what she said to you, but still."

"You don't know what she said, but your still apologising?"

"This is my mother." He said, wryly, "She manages to insult everybody… all the time."

"Oh…" There was a girlish laugh. "Well it's okay… I'm guessing she didn't exactly know... about me."

"None of us did if I'm honest… look, I'm actually at dinner at the moment, with someone, but I'd really like to meet you."

"Sure! Where are you?"

"I'm in New York at the moment actually."

"Oh my God, really? So am I! I'm actually here for a few days, and then I go down to the West Coast for a while."

"Oh! I'm only here for one more day…"

"Can we meet up tomorrow? Would you mind? I mean, if you can't I get it, but I'd really like to, it would mean so much to me."

"Oh… Well yeah…" Glancing up, he spotted Rachel crossing the restaurant and returned her wave with an absent minded smile.

"Please Jesse? It would mean so much to me. I've always wanted a brother." The beseeching voice in his ear made up his mind.

"… okay." He said finally. "I'll have to go, I'll have to text you the details, okay? I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Great! Bye Jesse."

"Bye."

He flipped the phone down and watched as Rachel got caught behind a pair of waiters. Slipping it into his pocket, he got up to help her.

Catching her elbow he cast her a charming smile and said.

"Ready to go?"

A smile lit up her face and she nodded eagerly. A flash of guilt went through him, although his smile stayed intact as he ushered her out into the street. He wouldn't tell her yet. Let her enjoy the evening and then he would tell her.

**Xxx**

**I just watched glee and the episode was so good I decided I would update. It was actually excellent, or so I thought anyway, Naya's performance is so raw and beautiful that I almost cried. Plus, Finn was an even bigger jerk than usual and Rachel and Kurt have made up. I really, really enjoyed it. Plus I was singing Rumour Has It/ Someone Like You and Hit Me With Your Best Shot/ One Way Or Another all day today. **

**Anyway! Thank you for all of the lovely reviews! I hope I got around to everyone, but I'm so sorry if I missed you. Also, I know I sort of promised Blaine this chapter, but the sizes and sections wouldn't fit so I decided to leave him out until next time. Those who are worrying that Shelby wasn't in this chapter, don't worry, she will return and she will be stirring ;) **

**Thank you to: Rosy2609, MissRe, blahxo3, (anonymous) **_**you left a lovely review, thank you!**_**, star2525, CupcakeQueen23, auhaes55, Likewow5556, Broadwayfreak5357, xXBroadwayBabyXx, xXSerendipitous SpontaneityXx, Kkaty, Elle Xue, thayhadadate, , a-true-literati, LNCrow and TvHollywoodDiva.**

**You guys are really, **_**really**_** awesome. Thank you so much. **

**So, I'm gonna go crawl into bed now and leave you to enjoy this chapter.**

**Love as always, **

**Ray **

**Xxx**

**PS. Did you guys go off and check out xXSerendipitous SponateityXx's fic? You should! **


	36. Chapter 35

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

Times Square was sparkling. Simply sparkling.

Lights shone from each and every billboard and as Rachel turned slowly, a smile that rivalled the stars above them on her face, Jesse forgot all his cares.

"This is amazing." She whispered, taking his offered hand and leaning into him. "We made it Jesse."

"I know." Was his reply and he held her hand tighter as she turned again, determined to see everything at once.

"Look! Evita! Wicked! The Phantom!" She spun around, pointing to each billboard in turn. "Oh…"

Her breath caught in her throat as she caught sight of a large poster. The words _Funny Girl_ were splashed over it and she froze mid step to stare open mouthed at it. Feeling her resistance he too stopped and followed her gaze.

"They're bringing Funny Girl back." Rachel finally managed to say and run a lightly trembling finger over the image of the woman on the poster, arms outstretched as she sang with gusto.

"That'll be you one day." He said, smiling at her as she met his gaze.

"I hope so." She sighed wistfully and he gently pulled her away, nodding towards the street a little ahead of them.

"We'll be late if we don't hurry."

She nodded fervently, starting at a brisk pace down the street, turning off down the smaller street, the large sign for the theatre seeming to spur her on as it shone brightly down on them.

They walked slowly in, their progress slowed by the crowds as they tried to get into the theatre. He held tightly onto her hand for a moment, before letting go as she wandered towards the framed playbills of shows once held at the theatre. Going towards the reception desk, he leaned forward and said, his voice low.

"Hi, I'm Jesse St James, I think I'm on your list? You should be expecting me."

The receptionist clicked a few buttons and then glanced up and nodded. "With a Miss Rachel Berry?"

"That's us." He nodded and the receptionist smiled amiably, obviously managing to get a better look at him now the crowds had parted.

"Give me a moment sir." She picked up the phone from next to her and rang through to someone, speaking a few words and then meeting his gaze once again. "Thomas will show you in."

Turning, Jesse noticed for the first time, a man stood behind them and said, "Thank you." To the receptionist, before turning to join Thomas.

"Rachel?" He called and she swung around, hurrying towards him.

"I thought I'd lost you." She said, a little breathless, nestling into his side as they walked.

"Sorry," He tucked her closer under his arm. "I was just sorting something."

She just nodded, smiling and then noticed Thomas. "What…?"

"All will become clear," He replied, mysteriously, and they followed Thomas down a corridor and then through a few doors, before coming into a crowded corridor, full of people who glanced at them curiously.

When they finally arrived at a door with a large gold star painted on it, Rachel's eyes widened in realisation and her mouth formed a small 'o'. Noticing, but not commenting on his girlfriends' reaction, Jesse followed Thomas through and greeted his friend happily.

"Hey, still nervous?"

Johnny, from where he was sat at a mirror, having a few finishing touches made to his make up, managed a small laugh, before the make up artist reprimanded him for moving.

"Lauren!" Rachel's eyes fell on the girl who was curled on the sofa, smiling. Sitting beside her friend, she smiled in return, glancing up at Jesse questioningly.

"This was what you had planned?"

"It was all Johnny." Jesse nodded towards the boy in the chair, who had just been released.

"I thought you might like to say hey to me before I went on stage." He shrugged. "It can't be for long though I'm afraid, stage manager's seriously sketchy."

"And rightly he should be." The make-up artist rolled his eyes and moved away. "You guys had better get going, we'll be on soon."

The show ended with a standing ovation. Tears sparkled in Rachel's eyes and both she and Jesse couldn't contain the surge of pride they felt as Johnny came up to accept the final bow with two of his colleagues. They cheered even louder as he approached the front of the stage and he smiled as he caught sight of them in the front row, winking at Jesse and blowing a kiss toward Lauren, who was sitting beside Rachel, tears running, unabashedly down her face.

They took their time leaving, Lauren rushing off backstage to congratulate her boyfriend. Rachel and Jesse lingered in the foyer, trying to avoid the crush of bodies.

His arms wrapped around her waist, pressing her back to his chest as they quietly dissected the show act by act together.

They made their way backstage finally, congratulating a beaming Johnny with hugs and kind words. Leaving before they could get caught in the crush of the stage door, they wandered hand in hand down Broadway, towards their hotel, happy to spend their time quietly talking.

"We'll be here some day you know." He told her, clasping her hand in his.

"Together?" She asked, looking up at him.

"Of course," He rolled his eyes.

"We'll live together?" She mused, walking slowly on with him.

"In an apartment." He agreed. "Paid for by my parent's guilt money and then we'll both get our big breaks into Broadway. You as _Evita_, me in a Sondheim classic."

"The residing power couple." She sighed, a long, contented sigh. "It sounds wonderful."

"It will be." He promised, bringing her hand up to place a firm kiss against her soft skin.

They continued, walking slowly until finally he spoke, unwilling to break the piece, but knowing no other way of telling her. "I spoke to Krissy today."

"You did?" A wide smile spread across her face. "Wow! When? What did she say?"

"She wants to meet me." He told her carefully and she nodded, smiling and saying.

"That's great! Where is she?"

"New York."

"Wow!" Her smile fell as realisation dawned in her eyes and she said. "You're going to see her tomorrow."

It wasn't a question, but he answered it anyway. "Yeah… I'm sorry Rache."

"Don't be silly!" Anyone else wouldn't have noticed the pain in her eyes, the slightly hysterical note to her cheerful tone, but they were clear as day to him. "That's so great!"

"I'm sorry, if I could do it any other day I would…"

"No!" She cried. "You have exams coming up, you need to be in school on Monday!"

"I know." He sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "But I know how much you were looking forward to spending some more time with me, in the city."

"I'll be fine!" She smiled at him, though her eyes were heavy with the disappointment she clearly felt. "I can look after myself."

"No way, I'm not having you wandering all over New York on your own, where God knows what could happen." He clutched her hand tighter in his. "I'll ask Johnny or Lauren to look after you."

"Jesse," Her tone showed the first sign of irritation. "I'm not a child, I'm 16."

He just rose one eyebrow and shook his head, unwilling to argue with her. "I don't want you to wander around on your own."

She rolled her eyes. "Maybe Lauren and Johnny will be busy, then what?"

"I'll cancel with Krissy." He replied promptly.

"No!"

"I'm not about to argue with you Rachel… if anything were to happen to you whilst we were here..." He shook his head in disgust. "I'd never forgive myself."

She looked up at him, narrowing her eyes. "We will continue this conversation later."

"There's nothing to discuss." He shot back, but followed her through the door of the hotel.

Later that evening, as they snuggled in bed, her back to his chest as he draped a hand gently over her waist, she said, her voice soft and heavy with sleep.

"I miss this."

"Miss what?" He asked, curiosly.

"Sleeping in the same bed."

He smiled a little at her admission and replied. "I like it."

"So do I, I always sleep better in the same bed as you."

"I think you're dads are starting to think we do more than just sleep."

"What?" She twisted within his embrace so that she was looking at him.

"Your dads, they sat me down on Wednesday and told me that we should be careful this weekend."

She flushed from head to toe and he laughed a little, brushing one soft hand down her cheek.

"Don't worry Rache, I don't want anything that you're not ready to give."

She nodded and then glanced up at him through impossibly long lashes.

"But, sometimes, when I'm with you… I feel like I do want to."

"Really?" He glanced down at her, raising his eyebrows and saying, carefully. "You want to… you know… do it?"

She just nodded, her face still flushed, unable to meet his eyes.

"Yeah…"

"Rache," He cupped her cheek in his hand, forcing her to meet his eyes and they both sat up a little. "There's nothing wrong with that. Let's be honest, we've been involved in some pretty heavy make out sessions, it's natural that you should feel that way… I do. You _know_ I do."

Her face flushed further as she remembered feeling how much he wanted her pressing into her leg.

"But it's okay." She met his eyes. "We can wait as long as you want."

There was a long silent, until she finally said. "Jesse…. Have you… you know… have you done it before?"

"Yeah," He answered quietly. "I'm 18 Rache, I'm not about to pretend I'm a saint in that respect. But our first time together, it's going to mean something, I promise."

She went to kiss his cheek, but he moved his head to catch her lips for a second before pulling away.

"I love you." Was all she said.

"I love you too."

He caught her lips again and she returned his kiss happily, pushing him back as her tongue reached out to capture his own and hovering above him, looking down at him with eyes lidded with lust.

"But while we wait, there's no reason that we shouldn't have a bit of fun is there?"

His only response was to capture her lips again and push her into realms of pleasure that she didn't know were possible.

When she woke, slowly and gently, it was to a relatively light room and an empty bed. Pushing herself up, she heard the sound of him singing a Queen song softly in the bathroom, over the sound of the shower and smiled.

Her gaze fell to the bed she was lying on and she blushed as she remembered what exactly had happened in that bed last night. It had been…. Mind blowing. Despite their lengthy make out sessions, she had never even imagined that pleasure like that was possible.

"Morning Sleeping Beauty."

Looking up, she smiled at the sight of him, wrapped in a bath towel and exposing his toned, tanned chest. Her breath caught in her throat and she gazed at him with open admiration.

"How long have you been awake?" She asked, as he came towards her and pressed a sweet kiss to her forehead and then another to her lips.

"Not to long, you were totally out of it after last night, so I thought I'd just let you sleep." He winked at her and she blushed again, turning away.

"How did you sleep?" He asked, chuckling at her reaction and moving towards the suitcase where his things were.

"Very well." She hitched herself up in the bed, taking note of her sore muscles. Glancing down she noticed the small mark on her collar bone and flushed as she remembered how he had sucked and bitten softly at her skin the night before. "Jesse," Her reprimand was half hearted and he grinned as he realised what she meant.

"I enjoyed that." He returned, pulling out dark jeans and a t shirt, with a jacket.

"Is that what you're wearing to see Krissy?" Rachel asked, clambering out of bed and wandering towards him, only in her pyjamas.

"Yep," He glanced down at her, his expression wary. "I called Johnny and Lauren."

Rachel tried to pretend he hadn't said anything, looking over the list she had made the day before on the hotel's note paper.

"I might go to the Met today, what do you think?"

His eyes narrowed and he caught hold of her from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Lauren's free, she says she'd really like to have a girly day out with you."

Rachel's expression hardened. "Jesse, I told you, I'll be fine, you don't have to try and force Johnny and Lauren to spend the day with me."

Jesse scowled, holding her a little closer. "Rachel, this isn't up for conversation. I promised your dads I'd keep you safe and that is what I'm doing."

"I don't need looking after, I'll be fine."

He let out a frustrated growl and span her suddenly, twisting her hand up behind her back and twisting it so that she released a cry of pain that cut him to the quick.

"Jesse!" She gasped out, alarmed. "What are you doing?"

He let her go and she stumbled away, her eyes widening as she rubbed her sore arm.

Sighing heavily, he moved towards her and held out his hand, inviting her to sit on the bed beside him. She did so, her breathing still heavy and eyed him warily.

"I'm sorry," He said softly and ran a gentle hand up the arm he had accosted. "But do you see what I mean? All they'd have to do was to pin you against a wall and they could do anything!"

His voice rose to hysteria on the last word and she frowned, truly worried now and pulled him closer, letting him lay his head gently against her shoulder.

"I forgive you." She murmured. "I don't think that's going to happen, you know, but if it'll put you mind at rest, I'll go along with it."

"Thank you." He breathed out into her shoulder and she hugged him quickly. "Now, tell me, should I wear the grey shirt or the white one?"

**Xxx**

Later that day, Rachel was walking down the crowded streets of New York City with Lauren beside her, both ladies reliving Johnny's stunning performance last night scene by scene, when the loud ringing of a phone broke through their deep conversation.

"Sorry," Lauren frowned, confused and pulled out her phone, flipping it up. "Mom? What's up?"

There was a buzzing from the phone and Rachel watched, concerned, when Lauren's face drained of colour.

"Wait, mom, slow down. What happened?"

Rachel pulled her to a side street, avoiding the steady flow of human traffic that was beginning to become steadily rowdier.

After a moment, Lauren wrapped up the call, but her mouth was an 'o' of shock as she flicked it shut stiffly.

"What's happened?" Rachel asked, gently, laying a comforting hand on the girl's arm.

"My dad… he's had a heart attack… they don't know what caused it…" She's speaking in broken fragments and staring straight ahead.

"Where are they?" Rachel encouraged her.

"Canada… I've got to get a flight there… Now… but… I can't leave you…"

"Nonsense." Rachel shook her head, speaking vehemently. "Come on, I'll take you."

"Oh no!" Lauren cried. "You'll get lost… No, it's too out of the way… I'll go on my own. Are you going to be okay? I can call Johnny."

"No!"She shook her head again, "Don't worry, I'll just carry on down to The Met, it's not too far from here right? Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

Lauren nodded slowly, despite the numbness in her eyes.

"Okay," Rachel hugged her quickly, squeezing her tightly. "Keep me updated okay?"

After seeing the girl into a cab, she started back up the street again, headed towards the Met.

**Xxx**

Rachel stared at the picture in front of her. It was quite large, taking up a lot of the space on the wall and showed a metal table with an orange sat on it.

She had absolutely no idea what it was meant to mean.

A man passed her in a dark blue jacket and stopped, his head cocked to one side, to look at the picture with an intense expression. Hurriedly, Rachel mimicked the expression and was surprised when the man addressed her.

"What do you think?"

"I, uh," She stumbled over her words, looking at him wide eyed for a moment before replying. "Oh, it's very interesting, yes… it's got a very… profound meaning." Her voice seemed to skewer over the last word, but the man nodded thoughtfully and wandered off.

Glad to be rid of him, Rachel went back to staring aimlessly at the orange, waiting until the man had rounded a corner to thoroughly relax.

"Well played." A voice came from behind her and she turned, jumping, to be face to face with a boy, probably a year or so older than herself, stood behind her. A charming smile graced his face and he looked down at her through intense brown eyes, his hair dark and lightly curled and he looked very vaguely familiar.

"With that guy, I mean. What a jerk." He rolled his eyes at the man and Rachel found herself relaxing.

"I don't really know much about art." She confessed, grinning and turning away from the orange. "Music's more of my thing."

"Me too. But I would expect that of a lead of a glee club. You're Rachel Berry." He smiled down at her shocked face. "I'm Blaine Anderson, lead of The Dalton Academy Warblers and your competition at Nationals."

She laughed outwardly and took his outstretched hand, shaking it lightly. "I knew I recognised you! Now that you say it I realise!"

Blaine laughed with her and she smiled at him. "What brings you to the Big Apple?"

"I'm staying at my Uncle's for a week, Dalton has a holiday at the moment so I'm just chilling."

"Sounds good, I'm here with my boyfriend, we're seeing a mutual friend. He debuted on Broadway last night." She couldn't keep the pride from seeping into her voice.

"Really?" Blaine's eyes widened. "Look, do you wanna grab a coffee or something down at the restaurant? I hear it's pretty good and if I have to look at another picture I think I'll barf."

She laughed loudly again, ignoring the glares from her fellow customers. "Sounds like a plan to me," She laced her arm through his and, as they walked through the gallery, said seriously. "I'm afraid I have a boyfriend."

He chuckled softly and glanced at her. "You're not my type honey. I play for a different team."

"Oh." Her eyes widened with the realisation and she grinned up at him. "Even better."

Together, the two new found friends made their way down to the restaurant and spent a happy two hours talking and laughing and Rachel found herself forgetting that Jesse was right across the city, a long way away from her.

**Xxx**

**Okay, I know that Rachel was ridiculously trusting in this chapter, just going with Blaine. But remember she's really rusting in canon and she sort of recognised Blaine because, let's face it, it's Rachel Berry and if she hasn't done a ton of research on her competition, I don't know who has. **

**Anyway, there's the boring stuff done. Longer chapter to make up for the shortness of recent ones. Things are gonna get a whole lot more dramatic soon. We've done the warm up, we've laid the foundations but a little trouble in paradise is always fun right? ;)**

**Yay for Blaine, I know I'm so late slipping him in as he's been on glee for over a year now and I wouldn't have kept him otherwise because, as you've probably noticed, this is so AU. But I love the character, so I wanted to have him in the story.**

**I'm working on a few one shots at the moment too and a **_**challenge**_** if anyone's interested? ;)**

**Over on tumblr, there is a blog called stberryarmy and they are taking votes on favourite fanfiction authors and nominations for the St Berry Fanfiction Hall of Fame so shuffle on over there and shoot them a quick message in their ask box about your favourite stories. I am about to go do it now. **

**Anyway, I didn't have that many reviews last time :( I hope there was nothing wrong with the chapter guys. **

**I'm feeling generous today, so I'm saying any reviews can have a little sneak peak into the next chapter ;) Press that little button. **

**Thank you to those who reviewed last chapter: Rosy2609, Likewow556, mistressamy, , yerbiggestfan (**_**aww thank you so much! You are so adorable!)**_**, xXSerendipitous SpontanietyXx, auhaes55 and TVHollywoodDiva. **

**You guys are the best :)**

**Hope you enjoyed it! Slip me a review and you'll get a sneak peak.**

**Love Ray **

**xxx**


	37. Chapter 36

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

Jesse was pretty sure he was sick. His stomach was churning, his heart was thrumming and he felt unusually hot. Playing with his fingers anxiously, he scanned the room again, just in case he could have missed her. Not that he actually knew what she looked like, but still, maybe it would be instinctive. A woman entered and he felt his stomach twist, his breath catching in his throat, until she turned and revealed that she was carrying a baby and with another man.

He relaxed into his seat and forced himself to breathe. Was this a normal reaction? Was this… _nerves_? Was this what everyone felt like?

No wonder everyone in glee club always made such a big deal out of it.

"Hey, Jesse?" He jumped at the sound of her voice, turning in his seat to see a woman a few years older than him, stood by his chair.

She was a blonde, which seemed surprising, although he didn't quite know why. There were strands of brown in her hair and she had the same blue grey eyes that he had. She wore respectable, comfortable clothing and had an open smile that welcomed him.

"I'm Krissy," She held out a hand and he took it quickly, exchanging a quick, firm handshake and then sitting as she did.

"Jesse St James, nice to meet you." He smiled tentatively back and she nodded fervently.

"Thanks a ton for coming out by the way, I know it was really last minute."

"It's fine," He shrugged, trying not to remember the irritated girl he had left with Lauren. "No bother."

She smiled at him and turned to the waiter as he appeared, asking for a diet Coke and then looking back at Jesse, leaning forward on the table.

"Do you live in Ohio, with your parents?"

He shook his head, "No… it's kind of a long story. They aren't around much, so I live in my Uncle's house in Lima."

"On your own?" She frowns and he nods.

"Sure."

"But… aren't you a bit young? You're still in high school."

He'd tried not to bristle and reminded her. "I'm eighteen, if I lived in the UK I'd be drinking and all sorts by now. It's no big deal."

"Isn't it lonely? I'm staying with a friend at the moment in L.A and even I get lonely when she isn't around." She laughed a little, obviously nervous.

"No," He smiled, trying to ease her nerves. "I have my girlfriend… I spend a lot of time at her house. It's almost like a second home."

"Your girlfriend?" Her eyes lit up at the word. "How long have you guys been dating?"

"A few months," His smile widened involuntarily as Rachel's beautiful face filled his mind. Her dark hair, her gorgeous voice… the sounds she had made last night.

"What's her name?" Krissy seemed interested, taking her drink from the waiter with a nod and a smile and sipping the fizzing liquid.

"Rachel," His voice wrapped around the name like the echo of a sigh, a gentle caress that left a broad smile on his face. "She's in New York with me actually, with a mutual friend today."

"A mutual friend? Lucky that you guys both know someone in New York."

"It's a big city," He shrugged and turned to gaze at her again. "What are you doing down here?"

"Some relatives live up here, and some old friends of mom's." She seemed to shrink back, her smile dropping a little and Jesse asked, his voice soft.

"What happened to your mom?"

"She died," Krissy's voice was matter of fact, despite the obvious pain laced between her words. "Cancer. We knew it was coming, we had time to make some arrangements."

"Oh," He frowned, deliberating for a moment before reaching his hand across the table and patting her outstretched palm gently, "I'm sorry."

"Thank you," Her smile was small, but her words seemed genuine. "We knew it was coming… apparently it was very peaceful."

"Is… is that why you tried to find your dad?" He asked uncertainly, taking a sip from his water.

"Yes, I guess I just wanted to know whether it was a genetic thing you know. Whether I had to worry for my kids."

"Have you talked to my father yet?"

"I left him a voice mail," Her brows creased a tiny bit. "But he never replied, I guess he's a busy guy…"

"No," Jesse's voice was hard and icy, anger making his jaw clench. "He's just a prick, I'll get him to find out for you."

"You… don't really like you parents, do you?"

He barked out a laugh, hard and sarcastic and then shook his head. "Not if I can help it."

"It must be different for other families… me and my mom, I mean sure, we had our fair share of arguments, but we loved each other… when she died…" Krissy trailed off, looking at him curiously and he took it as his cue to speak.

"I've never had that from my parents," He shrugged. "I was raised by a series of nannies and housekeepers. I learnt when I was ten not to rely on anyone but myself."

"That's… sort of sad." She whispered, her voice hushed.

Jesse considered for a moment. "I suppose it is, but I've never known anything else really. And I did have a family, first with Vocal Adrenaline and now with Rachel."

"Vocal Adrenaline?"

He opened his mouth to explain, but was cut off as a waiter appeared. Ordering quickly, the pair fell back into conversation as Jesse explained his childhood to the woman in front of him, who seemed to hang on his every word.

**Xxx**

A few hours later, Rachel sat with Blaine in a small café near the Met and drained her third coffee, smiling widely at the boy sat opposite her as he talked.

"So we took the gavel and hid it in the bushes outside the window. He was looking for it for at least half an hour, it was hysterical!" Blaine laughed loudly and she joined in, giggling with him.

"And here was me always thinking that you Warblers were so disciplined." She laughed and he shrugged.

"Everyone thinks that, but secretly, we're all just running riot over there."

She laughed again and went to respond, but was interrupted by _Defying Gravity_ sounding loudly from her pocket.

Pulling it out, she cringed in apology and said. "I'm gonna have to take this."

Blaine nodded, smiling and she flipped the phone open and answered. "Hey Jesse,"

"Rache? Hey, how are you doing?"

"Fine, fine."

"Is Lauren with you?" He sounded a little crackly, but she could still hear his concern.

"Uh… sure." She cast a guilty glance at Blaine, who was thankfully looking away and said, "She says hi."

"Great, well we're just finishing up here if you guys want to head down and meet us?"

"Mmm," Rachel glanced at Blaine again, who met her gaze steadily, cocking a curious eyebrow. "Sure, we will."

"Okay, I'll see you in about fifteen minutes, love you Rache."

"Love you," She replied and pulled the phone away before the ball of guilt in her stomach could intensify.

"Jesse?" Blaine guessed and she nodded.

"Yeah, he wants us to meet him down at the restaurant, so I'd better be going."

"I'll come with you." He smiled, standing and tossing some money on the table.

"You don't have to," Rachel remained in her seat and watched him pull on his jacket.

"Rachel, I'm not going to let you walk off around New York on your own, it's dangerous." He rolled his eyes.

Huffing, she clambered out of her seat and pulled on her own jacket, saying. "It's not that dangerous, why does everyone think I'm so defenceless? I have a rape whistle!"

He laughed and laced his arm through hers, leading her out of the café and hailing a cab. "I hate to tell you this, but that's not going to do you much good in this city."

She just humphed again and slid across the vinyl seats of the taxi cab that pulled up next to them with a screech.

After a journey that made Rachel's heart stop a few times due to the speed of the vehicle, they arrived at the restaurant Jesse had mentioned to her earlier in the day. Blaine slid out of the cab and opened the door for her, grinning as she clambered out and stood beside him on the sidewalk.

Before she could stop him, he reached into the cab, handing the driver a few bills and brushing off her complaints with a flippant 'Don't sweat it.'

Smiling at him, she linked her arm through his as they walked, complaining playfully. "People will think you're my boyfriend."

He laughed and replied, pushing the door open and letting her in first. "Not when they see you and Jesse together. I've heard you have a certain… um... _chemistry_."

Giggling, she flushed and turned, scanning the room for his familiar figure before spotting him at the back of the restaurant.

"Oh, I see him!" With a disarming amount of strength, she pulled her new found friend by his hand towards where Jesse was stood, watching them with an indiscernible expression. He responded to her wave, but still seemed a little strange, which she brushed off as the shock of meeting his sister. She would have to talk to him about it later.

"Jesse!" She let go of Blaine's hand and ran to her boyfriend, letting him wrap his arms around her and returning the embrace, happily breathing in the familiar scent that clung to his jacket.

"Hey Rache, had a good day?" His voice was soft and when she pulled back, she could see the slight narrowing of his eyes.

"It was great!" She beamed and pulled Blaine a little closer. "I met Blaine."

"Blaine Anderson," The boy in question held out his hand, meeting Jesse's slightly suspicious gaze without flinching.

"Good to meet you Blaine, you're the Warbler's lead right?" Jesse shook his hand firmly and Blaine nodded in reply.

"Yeah, and you're the famous Jesse St James." He grinned. "Nice to finally meet you."

Jesse smirked slightly, but nodded.

"Where's Krissy?" Rachel asked, impatiently, leaning around her boyfriend as if to see if he was hiding his half sister behind him.

"She went to the bathroom," He wrapped an arm around her waist and turned, craning his neck and then saying. "There she is."

He gestured to a blonde haired woman, only a little smaller than Jesse, who was slightly plump and smiling over at them nervously.

"Hi!" Rachel greeted her, beaming. "Great to meet you, I'm Rachel Berry." She held out a hand and Krissy shook it tentatively, saying.

"Hey, I'm Krissy, Jesse told me all about you."

"Really, all good I hope?" Rachel glanced up at him and smiled and he pressed a quick kiss to her forehead, replying.

"Mostly," He winked.

She rolled her eyes at him, unable to stay mad at him for long and then gestured to Blaine. "This is my friend, Blaine, Blaine this is Krissy, Jesse's half sister."

"Good to meet you," Blaine smiled warmly at her and she nodded.

"You too."

"We'd better be going," Jesse glanced at his watch and made an apologetic face. "We've got to catch our plane."

"Well, it was really great meeting you Jesse," Krissy said and Jesse moved away from Rachel to embrace her.

"Yeah, we'll have to meet up again soon okay?"

"Okay," Krissy agreed, nodding. "It was good to meet you two as well." She nodded in the direction of Rachel and Blaine.

"Nice to meet you," They echoed her sentiments as the foursome made their way towards the restaurant door and Krissy hailed a cab, waving goodbye to them as it sped away.

"She seemed nice," Rachel smiled, once she was gone.

"She was," Jesse replied and then eyed Blaine again. "What happened to Lauren by the way?"

"Long story," Rachel assured him, shaking her head. "I'll tell you later, Blaine and I met down at the Met and he was nice enough to accompany me up here."

"I didn't think you'd want your girl wandering all over New York by herself." Blaine added, smiling.

"Thank you," Some of the tension in Jesse's shoulders evaporated away, his smile becoming more genuine. "I owe you one."

"Catch a ride home with us?" Rachel asked, as Jesse hailed a cab. "After all, you paid for the cab ride here."

Blaine considered for a moment before agreeing, grinning. "Sure, sounds good."

**Xxx**

"So, what _did_ happen to Lauren?"

Jesse was lying back on the bed in the hotel room, watching Rachel fold each article of clothing meticulously and lay it in the bag. She and Blaine had had a pretty heartfelt goodbye in the cab, promising to call each other soon and Rachel had even shed a few tears, which she later blamed on the baby hormones.

"She got a call from her mom saying her dad had been taken into hospital." Rachel told him, lying a blouse gently in her case.

"What?" Jesse sat up, looking at her and Rachel hurried to add.

"I got a text from her a few hours later, she says it was okay, it wasn't too serious and he's resting at the hospital now." Rachel fixed Jesse with a severe glance. "And she feels awful about leaving me as well, so don't give her a hard time over it."

"I wouldn't," Jesse shook his head, leaning back and sighing heavily. "Do you want any help?"

"Jesse," She laughed. "You're a boy; you don't know the meaning of the word packing." She folded another garment and then added. "Plus, I like doing this."

Jesse smiled a little, his expression softening as he looked at her. "I love you," He told her and her lips curved upward as she said.

"I love you too."

There was a comfortable silence for a few moments as Rachel continued to pack and Jesse watched her, hypnotised by the way her body moved before him.

"I guess I should be grateful towards Blaine then," He said, sighing.

"I guess so," She replied and stopped to watch him.

He struggled with the words for a moment and then said. "Rache… you did know him right? I mean, you didn't just go off with some random stranger?"

"I recognised him, yes," She dropped the tank top in her hands onto the comforter and clambered onto the bed next to him. "Jesse, Blaine's gay. You don't need to worry."

His mouth formed an 'o' of realisation and she laughed a little and went back to packing.

"Maybe we should set him up with Kurt," Jesse mused and Rachel smiled.

"Maybe.

**Xxx**

As Rachel and Jesse enjoyed their blissful weekend together, the darkened auditorium of Carmel High School was seeing some unusual activity. The rigorous Vocal Adrenaline rehearsal had just let out, but one member, unlike her team mates, was still in the school. Stalking through the auditorium, her tightly curled locks bouncing on her shoulders as she went, she was still in costume, the tight fitting black bodice making her chest heave in her anger.

In Giselle's honest opinion, Vocal Adrenaline had gone downhill. They were still the best, there was no doubt about that, but Adrian was by no means a suitable male lead.

What they needed was a star. What they needed was Jesse St James.

But that was not going to happen. Giselle shook her head angrily, her scowl tightening and her fists clenching as she walked. Watching Rachel and Jesse at Regionals had been like being dunked in cold water. Never, _never_, had she ever seen Jesse look at anyone in that way, with such wonderment, such indescribable joy, like a blind man seeing the light for the first time. It stung at somewhere deep inside of her, making her stomach twist in a way that both surprised and horrified her. She had tried, God knows she had tried but he was blinded by his affection for the flawed star of the group of misfits.

She huffed, for now there was nothing she could do, sometime soon though, she would have to act or else lose Jesse forever. Turning her mind back to the mind at hand, she ground her teeth together as she recalled her reason for sticking around the auditorium.

Alicia, a fellow team mate of Vocal Adrenaline had decided that she would date Nick Jones, one of Giselle's go to boys. If ever she was feeling down or just needed a release, Nick would welcome her with open arms. Now, though, he had fallen head over heels for Alicia and into the girl's trap and had, earlier that very day, refused Giselle's advances in favour of his girlfriend. Giselle was livid.

Approaching Nick about it did no good and Alicia merely laughed her threats off, scoffing that she should go find a man of her own and stop stealing other people's. Giselle had found herself staring at a laughing crowd of peers and, as she stormed away, she had vowed to get revenge.

She flattered herself by thinking that, rather like Jesse, she maintained a rather close relationship with her Coach. A few words in her ear, Giselle mused, and Alicia and Nick would be off the team for good and everyone would see the power Giselle wielded and fall to her feet for forgiveness.

As she approached Coach Corcoran's office, she frowned when she heard a familiar male voice. Stopping in her progress, she listened, unashamedly, to the two adults conversing.

"…Shelby, as I've told you before, I'm not about to switch sides."

"Do you really think that I want you Will?" Coach Corcoran scoffed. "Don't flatter yourself. You may have stolen my male lead but I have to admit that I never have and never will see your group as _competition_."

The man, Will, sighed heavily. "Did you just ask me here to insult me Shelby? Because I have better things to do with my time."

"Well, I think I have something you need to know," Miss Corcoran leant back in her chair so that Giselle could see her serious expression through the open doorway. "In the spirit of fair play," She ignored Will's scoff. "You should be told. I don't want this coming out after the competition and being taken the wrong way. So I'm giving you some advanced warning."

There was silence from the man and Coach Corcoran continued.

"Rachel Berry is my daughter."

Giselle's mouth dropped open and she had to contain herself to stop from giving out a sharp gasp. Shocked half sentences filtered from the room as the man tried to come to terms with what Coach Corcoran, who waited patiently, was saying.

"_Rachel_?" The man finally gasped. "As in "As in _my_ Rachel?"

"As in the Rachel Berry who is the lead of your Glee club, yes, that Rachel."

"_What_?"

"I was her surrogate," Miss Corcoran sighed. "But I want to regain contact. We met for the first time a week or so ago. Don't worry, this isn't some kind of plot to steal Rachel from you. I just want to get to know her, as her mother."

"Did Jesse…?"

"No," Coach Corcoran shook her head, frowning a little. "Not at first at least. I tried to tell him and enlist his help but he was… unwilling."

"But he did know?"

"For a time, yes. I presume he said nothing of it."

"Not that I know of…"

Giselle turned her head away, a small smile creeping on her face. She had heard all she needed to hear and Alicia and Nick seemed now, the most trivial of matters. Slipping away, she mulled over the recently acquired information, smiling to herself. She had been focussing so much on attacking Jesse and pulling him out of the glee club, and that hadn't worked. So, she should try a different tactic, instead of getting Jesse to reject the glee club, she needed to get the glee club to reject Jesse.

And by the glee club, she meant Rachel Berry.

Pulling out her phone, she started to tap out a quick message. Finally, things were falling into place.

**Xxx**

**Yes! I am alive! I'm so terribly sorry for the wait my lovelies, I was caught up in a sweep of exam pressure and stress and all sorts of horrible things that I don't want to pollute this story with by talking about. **

**But I'm back! And first off I want to thank each and every one of you who reviewed last chapter because it means the world to me, especially when I saw that this story had had (over its rather lengthy life) over 65,000 hits… for me, that's a lot. Another random fact about this story? It's going to be almost a year since I was started posting it soon, but it's been about a year and five months since I first began **_**writing**_** it. It's crazy how much it's taken over my life and the amazing response you guys have given it. I never even dreamt of getting such an exceptional response as this. I know that my writing is not as good as some others on this site, which makes it even greater that you guys have stuck with it thus far. **

**Anyway! That makes it seem like I'm about to stop, which I am most certainly not. We're in this for the long haul everyone. **

**So, I hope I got around to everyone when I was doing the previews, I had some problems with a few of you though where Fanfiction wouldn't let me message you or reply to your reviews so I am ever so sorry about that and I hope you can find it within you to forgive me. **

**Thank you to those of you who reviewed: star2525, Rosy2609, Likewow5556, movielover97, BestofLuckJo, a-true-literati, frenchirishjewel, xXSerendipitous SpontaneityXx, blahx03, Kkaty, TVHollywoodDiva, northstar61, , HeartOfHandprints and auhaes55.**

**I'm working away at a Christmas story, but with the rush of the holidays it may be a little late. **

**Nine reviews for an update? **

**Love you chickies!**

**Ray **

**xxx**


	38. Chapter 37

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

The next morning Rachel and Jesse wandered, hand in hand and unsuspecting, down the corridor. They didn't talk, but a peaceful silence settled between them and an air of contentedness surrounded the dramatic pair.

Stopping at Jesse's classroom, Rachel reached up on her tip toes and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

"Learn lots," She instructed as she stepped back and he smiled, leaning down and capturing her lips for a moment before saying.

"I always do."

She rolled her eyes at his cocky reply, but he was gone before she could comment. Shaking her head, she started back down the corridor, cringing when she felt a sharp movement against her abdomen. The baby had obviously woken up. Her first class was a free period so, grabbing her calculus from her locker, she journeyed out onto the football field, finding herself a secluded and relatively private spot on the stands and settling in to do her homework.

She was suitably engrossed when she heard her name mentioned. Voices had been chattering for some time now, a background noise that she could easily ignore, but now that she listened, she realised she was indeed the subject of conversation between the group of Cheerios preparing for practice in the shade beneath the stand.

"…Rachel Berry, strutting around with that boyfriend of hers."

"Yeah, it's like she owns the school or something." Another huffed from below her and Rachel rolled her eyes.

"To be fair, Jesse St James is some serious eye candy." The first girl conceded and Rachel felt herself bristle defensively as the rest of the group murmured in agreement.

"But he's way too good for Stubbles," The second girl scoffed. "Why are you even friends with her Quinn?"

Rachel jolted as she heard her friend's voice come from below her.

"Friends with who?"

"That Rachel Berry girl, is it true she's knocked up and it's not even _Jesse_'s?" A third girl asked and Rachel cringed at the realisation that this topic had obviously been hashed and rehashed many times.

Inside of her the baby, as if sensing her distress, moved against her and she ran a hand over her stomach, beneath the soft, peacock blue wool of her sweater.

"… I don't know." Quinn sounded bored with the conversation already.

"Why _are_ you friends with her?"

Rachel's eyes pricked and she waited, listening intently as a moment of silence passed.

And then Quinn said. "Well… I'm not really."

Rachel's brows creased and her jaw dropped as the girls around Quinn cried out their protests.

"But you're always hanging out with her!"

"Duh," Quinn sounded bored again and Rachel could just picture the irritated expression she was glaring at her fellow Cheerio's with. "She's the key part of the glee club and I need the glee club to built up my extra curricula activities list. Plus, Finn and I are meant to be together and Rachel is the linchpin when it comes to Finn."

Rachel felt her palms begin to sweat as tears pricked in her eyes, inside of her the baby squirming again and she felt one tears run down her face as she tried to quell the moisture in her eyes. It was alright, if that was what Quinn really thought it wasn't like Rachel needed her. She'd be fine.

Listening as the preppy girls sauntered out onto then football field, waiting a few minutes to make sure the coast was clear before making a run for it towards the school, a few more tears running down her face as she went.

It still hurt, no matter what.

**Xxx**

Knowing how Jesse usually reacted when someone hurt her, she decided not to go to him, for fear of him blowing things out of proportion. So instead of going to the choir room to wait for him, or singing in the auditorium, she went and hid in the deserted corners of the library, curling up on one of the couches.

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't notice Kurt until he sat beside her, saying, cautiously.

"Rache? You okay?"

She nodded quickly, brushing away the few, stray tears with a hurried swipe at her cheeks.

"You don't seem okay." Kurt observed dryly and she watched him cautiously.

"I'm fine," She protested and he eyed her with one eyebrow risen.

"Don't insult me Rachel, I'm gay, I can tell when women are upset."

She snorted a little and a small smile cracked on his face, before sobering as he watched her.

"You can tell me if you want…" He said, softly, his expression gentle and unfamiliar. "I mean, I know we've had our differences… but I'm kind of sick of all this fighting. We have quite a lot in common you know."

Rachel cast him a speculative glance and pressed her lips into a firm line.

"Seriously," Kurt insisted. "We really do. Broadway, glee club, an appreciation for classics… something severely lacked by the rest of the glee club."

Rachel smiled again and nodded. "Barbra, Judy, Grace…"

"There you see." Kurt nodded, obviously satisfied that she understood.

There was a long moment of silence as Rachel bit nervously on her lip, before saying, softly.

"It's Quinn."

"Right," Kurt nodded, waiting a moment for her to elaborate and prompting when she didn't. "What did she do?"

"She told the Cheerios that she wasn't my friend." Rachel's brows creased as she remembered the contempt in her friend's voice. "She said she was only using me for glee club and to get back together with Finn."

"Have you talked to her?" Kurt placed a hesitantly comforting hand on her forearm.

"No," Rachel huffed. "I don't want to talk to her."

"You could let her explain?"

"Why would I do that?"

"You could have misunderstood."

They watched each other, neither flinching away for a few seconds before Rachel finally sighed and glanced down, saying. "Fine, I'll talk to her. But she only gets one chance."

"That's all she'll need." Kurt comforted.

After a moment's silence, Kurt added, softly. "Jesse's a good guy Rachel, you're lucky to have him."

"I know," She answered immediately. "What did he say to you?"

"That I shouldn't be worried about not finding anyone in Ohio," Kurt played with a loose thread on the couch, twisting it between his fingers as he spoke. "That there are lots of other people out there." His uncertainty was obvious.

"There are," Rachel placed her hand over his and his head snapped up to look at her. "There are so many people out there Kurt- just this weekend, in New York, I met a guy from Ohio who played for your team."

"Really?" Kurt glanced up, his blue eyes soft.

"Yes." She squeezed his hand gently and then moved back, settling into the couch cushions again.

Kurt was silent for a moment, thinking and then he glanced up and smiled at her. "So? You have to tell me _everything_ about your New York! I'm so jealous!"

Laughing, Rachel smiled at her new friend and proceeded to tell him the details of her time in New York.

Quinn could wait.

**Xxx**

Jesse was leaning against the white washed wall beside the library as he waited for Rachel to appear. Pulling out his iPhone, he switched on the device that had been turned off since the flight back to Ohio. He was surprised when two new messages bleeped through and opened them immediately, smiling a little as he scanned Johnny's text thanking them for coming this weekend and tapped out a quick reply that it was their pleasure.

The second message, however, made his smile drop. The sender was his ex team mate, Giselle and it read simply.

_I know your secret._

Although he couldn't think what she was talking about, he still felt his stomach drop as his mind spun and he tried to decipher the cryptic words before him.

"Jesse!" Looking up, his eyes landed on Kurt and he smiled weakly in greeting.

"What's up Kurt?"

"It's Rachel, I think she needs you Jesse… she's had a bit of a shock."

Immediately the text was cast from his mind as he followed Kurt through the hallways of McKinley High.

**xxx**

Rachel was waiting for the cheerleader outside her classroom when the lunch bell went. She had explained her idea to Kurt, brushing off his protests that she should let Quinn explain and had decided to have it out with the cheerleader before glee club.

She saw the blonde ponytail first, high and bouncing as she laughed and chatted with another cheerleader.

"Quinn." Her voice was hard and steely and Quinn turned quickly, her eyes falling on her.

She started to smile, but it evaporated when she saw the anger in Rachel's expression.

"Rachel!" Her smiled was watery, weak and she turned as the cheerleaders who had gathered behind her, tittered.

"Quinn." Rachel repeated, her eyes narrowed.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked uncertainly, glancing back at the group of Cheerios.

"Can we talk in private?" Rachel bit out and Quinn glanced back, uncertainly at the cheerleaders behind her.

"Now?"

"Yes." Rachel stood firm, her arm clutching her folders and binders to her chest.

"Cant we just talk here?"

Shrugging, Rachel narrowed her eyes further at the cheerleaders and then fixed her gaze on Quinn. "Are we friends?" She asked, bluntly.

"Of course we are, what do you mean?"

"If we're friends, why do you never walk to class with me?"

The cheerleaders giggled again and Quinn looked at them again, her concern obvious in her eyes. "Does it really matter?"

"It matters when you seem to think we can only be friends in glee club."

"I don't think that Rachel." Behind her, a brunette coughed a laugh out and fixed Quinn with a purposeful look.

"You don't have to pretend for her anymore Quinn, Berry needs the truth." The brunette raised an eyebrow in Rachel's direction.

"Well?" Rachel asked.

Quinn glanced at her pleadingly. "Rachel, we are friends."

"Oh please Quinn, don't pretend any more, you have to choose a side now: us or them." The brunette nodded to Rachel, scathingly.

Rachel ignored her and placed a hand on her hip, watching the blonde carefully.

"Rachel, I have to talk to you later okay?" Quinn tried to talk, but Rachel shook her head, her movements' jerky with fury.

"You are such a coward. Tell me when you've grown a backbone and we'll talk okay? Until then, leave me alone."

Turning on her heel, Rachel stormed away, the cackling of the cheerleaders echoing in her ears as she went.

Turning the corner, she was surprised to see Jesse stood there. He held his arms out for her silently and she fell into them, hugging him and burying her face in his soft sweater. His arms circled her and he dropped a quick kiss on her forehead, making her snuggle closer.

"You can cry if you want, you know." His voice was gentle and lulling in her ear and she just shook her head, holding him tightly.

"I don't want to." Her voice was muffled by his chest, but he seemed to understand and she felt him nod against her, holding her more tightly.

"Whatever you want baby," The pet name slipped off his tongue easily and she leaned away a little to look up at him, surprised.

"Baby?" She asked and he eyed her, quizzically.

"Something wrong with baby? I want to look after you… like you are my baby." One hand swept down to cup her stomach and rub it gently.

She smiled at the feel of his palm on the sensitive skin.

"I love you," She murmured and he smiled back, leaning down to peck her lips softly.

"Good thing I love you too then, isn't it?"

**Xxx**

"Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something."

The wariness in her voice made him instantly alert and he glanced down at where he held her in his arms, muting the TV and glancing at her questioningly.

"Oh?" His tone was too light, the anxiousness obvious.

"Yeah… I was just, I was thinking, you're always taking me places always, paying for things… I feel bad." She cut him off as he tried to protest. "No, just listen. I've been saving… I want to take you out… maybe some time later in the week?"

"Rachel…" He started to shake his head, sighing down at her. "I can't let you…"

"Please?" She gazed up at him with wide eyes and he cursed himself inwardly as he felt his walls crumble and he sighed again heavily.

"Fine." He huffed, rolling his eyes. "Maybe just this once."

"Thank you," She leaned up to press a soft kiss against his jawbone but he turned and caught her lips in his own, kissing her gently.

The ringing of his phone started up as they moved away from each other and Jesse cast Rachel an exasperated glance as his girlfriend giggled lightly.

"It'll be my mother… it almost always is now." Getting up, he moved into the hall as he answered the phone, poking his tongue out at her through the doorway as she laughed harder.

"Hello?"

"Jesse St James," The voice was nasally and strong with a sly sort of menace. "Never thought I'd talk to you again…"

His face contorted into a mask of shock and he shot a quick glance at Rachel, glad to see that she was engrossed in her book again. Crossing the hallway, he cast a quick glance to Hiram, who was cooking in the kitchen and tried his best to return the man's smile before hurrying outside.

"Giselle?" He snapped, once he was on the porch. "What the hell do _you_ want?"

"Can I not just catch up for old time's sake?" She asked, innocently and then laughed harshly.

"Cut the crap Giselle." His tone was hard, angry and she dropped the act, saying.

"I heard something very interesting the other day, from Coach Corcoran's office."

Jesse's stomach tightened, but he waited, silently, for Giselle to continue.

"Turns out, Coach Corcoran is _your girlfriend's mother_?" She let her words hang in the air for a moment and then said. "But I guess that's old news for you?"

"How is this any of your business?" His voice was so cold, so deadly, that Giselle almost shivered.

"Just an innocent bystander Jesse."

He scoffed. "You have _never_ been innocent Giselle."

"Well, I just thought I'd let you know Jesse, this way if I ever feel the need to give little Miss Rachel Berry a call, you'll have some advance warning."

He went to reply, but was met with the dialling tone. Screaming out a little in frustration he slammed the offending device back in his pocket and ran a hand through his hair, tugging on the strands and sighing heavily. If Giselle told Rachel there was no telling how she would react. Most likely she'd feel betrayed, hurt that he didn't tell her immediately. The rest of the club would find out and (hello, it was McKinley) turn it into unnecessary drama. The baby would probably be hurt because of the stress Rachel would put herself under and they would fall apart just before Nationals.

Whatever way he looked at it, the outcome was bad.

Hurrying through the door, he leaned around the door, barely meeting Rachel's eyes as he said.

"I'm gonna head home Rache."

"What?" Putting down her book she looked up at him, her eyes widening in surprise and confusion. "Why? What's wrong?"

"I just realised I have a project to finish." He was unnerved at how easily the lie slipped out. Lying to Rachel had always been hard, she saw right through him and it worried him slightly that this was so easy.

"Jesse? What's wrong?" She pushed herself off the couch, struggling for a moment against her growing stomach as Jesse watched, feeling as if he were glued to the doorframe.

"I'm just… nothing, I'm fine."

"Jesse," She placed a hand on his chest, hesitantly. "Who was on the phone? What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He snapped, frowning at her, bluffing as he spoke again. "It was just Krissy, wanting to know when we could meet up again. Do you not trust me?"

"What?" Her brows creased. "No, of course I do, why would you ask that?"

He ignored her question. "Then maybe you shouldn't question me so much. I'll see you later Rachel."

"Jesse…"

He turned, walking away and running another hand through his hair, stopping at the doorway as he heard Hiram call.

"Are you not staying for dinner Jesse?"

Forcing his muscles, stiff with tension, to cooperate, he turned and smiled weakly at Hiram, saying. "No… I have to study. Sorry Mr Berry."

He was out of the door before the older man could argue, slumping forward and shoving his hands in his pocket as he walked, willing away the image of the hurt, brown eyes he had left behind.

**Xxx**

**Hello there! I hope that everyone had a nice holiday, did you? I did plenty of writing actually, so I have been working away for you all :) **

**I had to add some drama this chapter. It wouldn't be a story if nothing happened would it? So I figured it was time to stir the pot a little. Don't hate me?**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: Rosy2609, TVHollwoodDiva, gleek599, xXSerendipitous SpontateityXx, Likewow5556, mistressamy, , Kkaty, auhaes26, , star2525. **

**I don't know if you guys noticed, but we hit 500 reviews. I don't think I can thank you all enough, anyone who has reviewed this story, it means so much to me that you have and I want you to know that anytime you reviewed, favourited or alerted you've made my day. I get so much happiness from writing this story and I hope you share in that experience. **

**As a thank you, I'd like to offer out a sneak peak of next chapter to anyone who reviews this one. :) **

**Here's a piece of news for y'all, there is a St. Berry week coming. It's being organised by some folks over on tumblr and it seems to be pretty popular. There are seven days and a prompt for each day and you can do whatever you want, be it fanfiction, fanart or fanvid for the wonderful St. Berry. I would love it if some of you guys could join in, so I'll post the prompts for each day below and tell me what you think in a review :)**

**Jan 22****nd**** to Jan 28****th****:**

**NYC**

**Burning Up For Your Love**

**Broadway**

**Zombies**

**St. Babies**

**Childhood**

**Care Bears**

**So, because of this, I will be (hopefully) working on some fics and drabbles based around these prompts for your reading pleasure. **

**My most recent obsession that I thought I'd mention is with the TV show Once Upon a Time. I've watched three or four episodes now, but I am already in love with that show! Emma Swan is so awesome and Snow is just adorable. I'm totally shipping Snow/Charming at the moment ;)**

**I think that is all and I hope everyone enjoyed. **

**Leave me a review for a sneak peak.**

**Thank you again!**

**Love Ray **


	39. Chapter 38

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

The next morning, he began to regret his harsh words. The initial panic started to simmer and common sense kicked in. Surely Giselle wouldn't say anything, what would be the point? Vocal Adrenaline had made it abundantly clear that they didn't want or need him, so surely Giselle would forget all about it soon enough. He hoped so anyway.

Sitting up, his bed sheets falling about his waist, he ran a tired hand over his forehead, trying to rid himself of the tension he felt there.

Sighing heavily, he pulled a hand through his already rumpled locks again and gazed dejectedly at the wall in front of him. The ringing of his phone pierced the silence and he glanced at it, almost warily, smiling with relief at the name he saw flashing on the screen.

"Hey there," He answered, grinning.

"Jesse hey! How are you doing? Have a totally screwed up the times? I wasn't sure but I didn't want to call any later because I thought you might be at school…"

"Krissy," He cut through her swiftly, laughing a little. "Don't worry about it, I was awake anyway so it's fine."

"Great!" She enthused from the other end of the line. "I was just calling to say that I have to stop off in Huntington, West Virginia over the weekend, I was thinking we could meet up."

"Saturday?" He smiled, relief sweeping through him. "That sounds great Krissy, I'll see you then."

"Okay!" She chirped. "I'll text you the details!"

"Okay," He smiled again and said goodbye before hanging up and glancing at the alarm clock.

Pushing himself up from the bed, he decided to face the day and stumbled to the bathroom, showering quickly before pulling on some jeans and a shirt, grabbing his faded black jacket as he went downstairs, running a hand through his unruly hair. Eating a cereal bar, he picked up his shoulder bag and locked the door on his way out of the house, clambering into the beloved Range Rover and sitting back, smiling a little as the engine grumbled to life.

He hesitated for a moment as he set off, but decided to pick Rachel up anyway. If she didn't want him there after the night before she could always get one of her dads to take her and he would probably be able to get a well deserved ear full from Leroy if he had upset her.

There had been something about hearing Giselle on the phone last night, something that had sparked up memories of his time in Vocal Adrenaline and the constant tension he had lived in. He had strived on it then, lived on the adrenaline rush it had given him and the sense of satisfaction that he was the _best_, the _greatest_, even if the title of leader was always under threat. Thinking back to those days now, as he lived a more comfortable, easy life style, he marvelled at how he had been able to keep going and perform to the best standards all of the time.

Copious amounts of red bull he guessed.

But, God he could do with that caffeine now. If he thought back, he predicted that he had had about four and a half hours of sleep, give or take. He had been up all night, mostly worrying about Rachel and what he had said to her before he left. If he was honest it wasn't really what he said, with anyone else he could probably shrug it off as exam pressure, but Rachel was different, she was never fooled by his tricks and she knew already that something was up.

He'd have to try and make it up to her today and distract her if she ever got onto the topic.

Stopping at the comfortable two story house, he glanced out to see Rachel hovering on her porch watching him. The lavender tunic she was wearing was really beautiful, bringing out her fair complexion and dark hair, which was fastened in a messy side plait and he took a moment just to appreciate her beauty before getting out and smiling up the path at her.

Almost as if she had been waiting for this sign, she smiled back and started down the path, taking his outstretched hand in her own small one.

"Hey," She murmured, her dark eyes staring up at him with a strange intensity.

"Hi." He grinned at her and helped her into the passenger seat, crossing to sit beside her before asking. "Did you sleep well?" As he started the car.

She shrugged noncommittally and then glanced at him and frowned a little. "Better than you I suspect." She ran the soft pad of her thumb under his eye, tracing the dark circles.

"Probably." He kept his eyes on the road, waiting as she considered, struggling over her words for a moment and finally asking, her voice gentle.

"What happened yesterday?"

He shrugged again and tried to keep a pokerface. "I was a bit stressed." He cracked a wry smile that he knew wasn't fooling her. "I'm sorry I snapped at you baby."

"It's okay," She replied, automatically and then said. "Are you going to tell me the truth now?"

"It is the truth baby," He slipped the pet name in purposefully, hoping it would distract her.

She eyed him sceptically. "I doubt that," She told him bluntly and then shook her head, her tone softening slightly. "But it's alright, I won't push you. I'm here if you want me, okay?"

He nodded slowly, suddenly feeling worse than he had before as sat back in his seat, sighing heavily, If only she know what he was keeping from her and how it could tear her world apart.

**Xxx**

Over the course of the week, Giselle didn't let up. Every day there were new messages on his phone, prompting him, tempting him and goading him, so that he knew he became more and more snappy with Rachel. In Rachel's defence, she took it well, especially when he considered how far she was through her pregnancy. He knew the hormones were up full blast and that she was aching all over, so he tried to make up for his awful moods in the evening, by being extra sweet to her and rubbing her feet, which were hurting her more and more.

They had a few scraps, although they weren't really full blown arguments because she didn't let them become arguments. One such argument had occurred outside of the choir room earlier that day, when he had been checking his phone once again and found another message from Giselle, deleting it without even reading it.

Rachel, leaning against the wall next to him, cast him a sudden frown and asked, slowly. "Jesse… are you texting Eliza?"

"What?" His head snapped up to meet her gaze. "_Of course not_! Do you not remember what she did to you?"

"_I_ do." Rachel replied, icily. "I just thought I'd check whether you did."

"Well I do." He snapped. "Do you not think that I think about that all of the time? That I wish I could have done something?"

"Well then why wont you tell me who you are texting?"

"It's only Johnny!" He snapped his phone shut and frowned at her. "Rachel, stop being so suspicious, there's nothing going on!"

"I'm only asking," She shrugged and turned away, sighing heavily and then turned back to him, her expression softened. "Let's not fight."

"I don't _want _to fight with you." He tried to keep the snappishness from his voice, pushing the anger away. "But I thought you trusted me."

"I do trust you," She pulled him closer and he held her to him, stiffened in protest fro a moment before relaxing into her embrace. "It's myself I don't trust." She murmured into his hair, so quietly he didn't hear her.

**Xxx**

On Friday night they sat together on her bed, him studying and her drawing on the sheet music in her hands.

"So," Her tentative voice broke the quiet. "How's Saturday night?"

"Saturday?" He looked up at her, startled.

"For this date I was paying for. I got tickets to the theatre down in Akron and I booked us a table at the Little Crimson, that restaurant down the road." She grinned at him, happily and he bit his lip, shaking his head slowly.

"I can't."

"What?" Her eyes widened in surprise. "But… but… why not?"

"I'm going to see Krissy." He expected that she would nod, understand cloud her eyes and a smile light her face, but her face fell even more.

"But… I told you about this."

"She's stopping off in Huntington Rache, I can't just _not _see her."

"_Huntington_?" Rachel's voice rose in pitch. "As in West Virginia?"

"Yeah," He tried to steel himself against the disappointment that showed easily in her eyes.

"So you'll be away most of the day?"

"I'm going to sleep on her friend's couch that night and drive back on Sunday morning to give us more time."

She glanced away, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "Seriously Jesse?" He was surprised to hear the sudden anger in her voice. "After the way you've treated me this week you're just going to leave this weekend and stand me up?"

He bristled almost immediately, his brows furrowing. "In my defence, I didn't know you were absolutely certain. She's my _sister_ Rachel, I can't just leave her. And what do you mean, 'treated you'?"

"You've known about her for a few weeks." Rachel scowled at him, one hand wrapping around her stomach. "And don't pretend like you don't know what I mean Jesse, you've been off with me all week, texting people, being secretive and snapping at me! Can you honestly say that we've had a good week?"

Jesse paused for a fraction of a second, considering his options before deciding to bluff. "I don't know what you mean Rachel. You're so hormonal recently, it must be the baby. You take things too seriously."

"I am _not_ hormonal." Rachel snapped, glaring at him and he raised an amused eyebrow, expecting her to laugh with him, surprised when she didn't.

Shaking her head angrily she heaved her rounded body off the bed and placed her hands on her hips, affronted. "So, let me get this straight." Her voice was stiff with anger and it felt as if she had pinned him to the bed with her fury. "You aren't around this weekend, even though I _told _you about it, even though I've _booked _the tickets and you're still not going to tell me _who_ you're texting? For all I know it could be Eliza! It could be that Amber girl, or one of those other girls we met in California! It could even be _Giselle_!"

He felt his whole body shudder to a stop as she threw her hands up exasperated and a flustered panic washed through him, making him speak without thinking. "Don't you _dare_ talk about Amber, Lucy and Amelia like that!" He clambered off the bed to tower down on her fuming figure. "You insult me by accusing me of talking to Giselle… or Eliza! And do you really think I'm going to risk my relationship with Krissy, my _sister_, for a _girl_! For God's sake Rachel!"

Anger smouldered in her dark, expressive eyes as she gazed up at him, hugging her arms around herself as she said, the quaver in her voice almost breaking him, "Is that all I am to you? Just a girl? I thought we were more than that Jesse… I really did." Shaking her head so that her hair fell forward, she moved past him, grabbing her coat and saying, almost hesitantly. "I'm leaving Jesse. I'll see you on Monday and we'll sort this out but… for now… just leave me alone okay?"

And with those final words, she turned on her heel and left, the door clicking shut behind her, the sound audible through the now silent house.

Groaning, Jesse fell back onto his bed, cradling his head in his hands. He would give her space if she really wanted it, but this thing with Giselle was going too far. He'd have to stop it soon, but for now he would focus on Krissy and then Rachel.

**Xxx**

It was only once she arrived at her dark house that Rachel realised her dads were not home. The two men, thinking she would be safely with Jesse all evening, had gone to a free yoga class that would last until ten o'clock, not allowing them home until eleven that night. Unwilling to stay in the house alone with her thoughts, Rachel mulled over her options for a moment, flipping open her phone to play with it.

Inviting Kurt over would only incite questions and anyway, they weren't close enough yet. Quinn was, of course, out of the question and Rachel had no real desire to spill her guts to Noah. Thinking for another moment, she suddenly had a revelation. Where did normal teenage girls go when they had fallen out with their friends and their boyfriends? To their mother.

Without stopping to think about it, Rachel backed out of the driveway and started on her journey through the darkening streets of Lima, glad that she had gotten Shelby's address when she could and that the woman lived in Lima.

Pulling into the drive of a tidy, if small, semi-detached house, Rachel glanced nervously towards the window where a crack of light shone out over the lawn. It had slowly occurred to her as she drove, that Shelby could not want company. She could have a guy around, she could just be busy and Rachel realised that perhaps coming here had not been the best of ideas.

But, as she glanced at her phone, she realised that the idea of going home was almost as repulsive as being kicked out of her own mother's house, so she swallowed her fear and slid out of the car, shutting the door quietly and making her way up to the door, her shoes tapping quietly. Hesitantly, she reached up a fist and knocked gently on the darkened wood of the door, her heart hammering.

Shifting from foot to foot, Rachel waited as there was the sound of movement from inside the house. Finally the door swung open and there stood her mother. Shelby was dressed in smart black jeans and a crisp dark blue shirt, her dark hair piled into a hair band at the nape of her neck. Her eyes widened in surprise once she spotted Rachel and Rachel felt a flush light her skin.

Suddenly she felt stupid. What was she even doing here? Sure, Shelby was her mom, but in name only. They had barely spoken since their dinner last week and even then they were just beginning to make tracks in their relationship. They sure weren't close enough for Rachel to just randomly turn up on Shelby's doorstep and expect the woman to welcome her with open arms and a cup of coco.

"Rachel," She met her mother's eyes quickly, before glancing away. "W-What are you doing here?"

"I… I just," She wringed her hand together nervously and shifted her wait to her left foot. "I… I…"

"Come in," Shelby seemed to realise that Rachel wasn't about to offer a coherent answer and stepped back, allowing the grateful girl access to her home.

Rachel stepped in hurriedly, politely wiping her feet on the mat, but slipping her ballet flats off anyway.

"Please, take a seat." Shelby ushered her into the lounge, shutting the front door behind them and muting the TV, which looked suspiciously like it was tuned to a CSI rerun.

Rachel did as she said slowly, perching on the edge of the pale couch and glancing at the TV curiously.

Shelby caught her looking and smiled a little. "It's my guilty pleasure." She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear in an unnervingly familiar gesture.

"Oh… I didn't mean to…" Rachel flushed and smiled anxiously, letting an awkward silence settle for a moment before saying. "I like your house, it's very… clean."

Shelby smiled wryly. "That's what happens when you have no kids."

Both flinched a little at the words and Rachel felt herself flush again as she glanced down at her hands, anxiousness making butterflies rush through her stomach.

"So what brings you here tonight?"

Rachel swallowed nervously and shrugged slightly. "I just… thought I'd say hi."

"Don't lie to me Rachel." Her mother's voice was surprisingly firm and Rachel met her gaze as she spoke. "You obviously came here for a reason. How am I meant to help you if I don't know the problem, hmm?"

"I guess…" Rachel shifted on the couch, settling further back and saying, tentatively. "I… I fell out with a friend this week."

"Right," Shelby's brows furrowed in confusion momentarily before smoothing out. "Why?"

"I heard her talking to her more popular friends and saying that we aren't friends." The words came out surprisingly easily. "I gave her an ultimatum. I told her she had to choose, me or them. She wont do it, but we having spoken since the incident." Rachel huffed.

"Right…" Shelby asked slowly. "And have you tried to talk to her since then?"

"No," Rachel scoffed, her inhibitions lowering as she spoke. "Quinn's been acting so weirdly to me all week, like this is all _my_ fault."

"Your… right… Have you got any other friends you could talk to about this?"

"I talked to Kurt a little, but we aren't that close."

"What about Jesse?"

Rachel glanced away almost immediately and Shelby's brows furrowed again, this time with more concern. "Rachel, have you talked to Jesse?"

"Sort of…" Rachel breathed finally and Shelby hesitated before placing a delicate hand in her shoulder and pulling her to face her.

"I'm guessing that's what you wanted to talk to me about."

"I just…" Rachel swallowed again, her nerves returning. "I wanted to talk to you about it and… isn't this the sort of things that girls talk to their moms about?"

"I guess," Shelby tried to settle, though the nerves were still obvious in her eyes. "So, shoot."

Rachel glanced at her a little strangely and then said, very slowly, considering each word carefully.

"We've been arguing a bit this week."

"Oh?"

"Yeah… it's stupid. He just… he keeps texting people and he won't talk to me. I _know _he's hiding something, but he refuses to tell me _anything_. And then I had organised us this amazing date, theatre tickets, dinner reservations, everything. I've been saving up for _ages_ and I _did_ tell him. But now he says he can't make it and I'm sure that the reason is whatever he's been hiding from me… But he won't talk to me and if he's not talking to me he can't exactly expect me to trust him can I? And if I can't trust him, who can I trust? He was the one who saved me after all, and he keeps on going on about how I must be hormonal because of the baby-"

She stopped suddenly, her mouth dropping open and her eyes widening.

"I… I mean…"

"Because of the what?" Shelby demanded, suspicion and outrage clouding her gaze as she leant closer to Rachel.

"I… nothing…" Tears were glazing her eyes but she tried to swallow them back.

"A baby?" Shelby wasn't letting the subject go and Rachel shook her head. Slightly.

"No… a slip of the tongue…"

"A _baby_?" Shelby repeated, her voice rising, ripping through an outraged octave.

Rachel looked away, trying not to look at her mother as she processed the information. Her heart thudded in her chest and her stomach was twisting so tightly that she thought she might throw up, but she was unable to form any kind of coherent thought.

"You're pregnant?" Shelby shook her head slowly, her eyes wide with shock,

Rachel licked her lips nervously and nodded once.

"Is it Jesse's? I'm going to kill him."

"No," She managed to splutter. "It's not Jesse's… I was… I was taken advantage of."

"Taken advantage… Oh my God." Shelby sat back onto the couch and Rachel stood up quickly, tears sliding down her cheeks.

She hurried form the room ignoring Shelby's cries and hurried footsteps.

"Rachel," Shelby caught her arm as Rachel slipped her shoes back on. "Please… just give me a minute…"

"No," Rachel shook her head furiously and yanked her arm from Shelby's grip, stumbling from the house and fumbling with her car keys.

"Rachel please… Calm down honey."

"You can't call me that." Rachel shook her head, ignoring the woman as she clambered into her car. "You haven't earned that right yet."

"Please… just be safe okay Rachel?"

Pulling out of the driveway, Rachel drove haphazardly home, tears streaming down her cheeks as her mind worked on overtime.

There was no one left. Quinn had left her, Jesse hated her and her own mother wanted nothing to do with her.

There was only one solution.

**Xxx**

**I'm sorry for the wait! I know, I know, I suck. But this chapter is really action packed if that's any consolation… Please don't hate me? **

**I was writing for St. Berry Week see, so that is my excuse. **

**Yeah… guys… things spice up from here on in. There are very many less rainbows and unicorns for our favourite couple. But there will be a **_**happy**__**ending**_**- I promise!**

**A note: RL is gonna really start kicking my ass soon, so I'm sorry for a decrease in update, but that will be entirely due to RL and exams and stress and stuff…**

**Thank you so much to the amazing comments left last week and everyone who's alerted and subscribed and favourited. **

**Thank you to: Earnest Hours, Britanny, amrawo, Valeriej98, , ber1719, star2525, Broadwayfreak5357, Kkaty, Likewow5556, mistressamy, auhaes26, TVHollywoodDiva, LTree16, StBerry Lover24 and tomfeltonlover1991. **

**Nine reviews for an update guys? **

**Love you all! **

**Ray **

**xxx**


	40. Chapter 39

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

Quinn Fabray felt sort of bad.

Obviously, Rachel was the one in the wrong, but seeing the girl look so… deflated had made her feel pretty awful. Her cheerleader friends insisted that she had nothing to worry about, but every glee meeting she would walk past Rachel without exchanging a glance and it made her feel a little empty.

Not that she cared that much. After all, Rachel was being unreasonable. There was no way that Quinn could admit- in front of all of her cheerleading friends- that she was friends with Rachel. She had already been grilled about it earlier in the day, but to have Rachel bring it up right in front of them… that girl really had no boundaries.

Huffing, Quinn rolled over on her bed, the polyester of her uniform rubbing against her stomach as she did so. For just a moment, she allowed herself to feel a strong pang of loss. Her eyes caught sight of the sonogram photo that was peaking out from beneath her pillow and she felt her heart clench as her fingers reached out, almost of their own accord, to trace over the photo slowly. The loss of her child… her baby girl… it sat deep inside her, eating away at her and there were times, like this, where it just came out full force.

Sniffing resolutely, she shoved the picture back beneath her pillow and sat up quickly, pulling her calculus assignment towards her and settling down to do it, pushing all other thoughts out of her head.

She was only about three questions in when she heard the shrill ringing of her phone pierce the relative silence of the room. Sighing in frustration, she reached over and grabbed the sleek device, holding it between her shoulder and her ear as she scribbled some working out onto her page.

"Hello?"

"Quinn?"

"Kurt?" She frowned, pausing mid calculation as she asked. "Kurt Hummel?"

"Yeah… I got your number off Mercedes, I hope you don't mind."

"No, it's fine I guess." Frowning, Quinn put her pencil down and settled back into the cushions at her headboard. "What's up?"

"I wanted to talk to you about Rachel."

Quinn's brows pulled down into a scowl and she huffed. "Look, I don't know what business it is of yours- the relationship between Rachel and I."

"It is my business when I find her crying in the library." Kurt snapped, his voice irritable.

"She was crying?" The words slipped from between Quinn's lips before she could stop them and she added, hurriedly. "She's always so dramatic."

"What's wrong with you Quinn?" Kurt demanded. "I thought you and Rachel were really close."

"Who are you to question me about this?" Quinn said, angrily. "You hated Rachel up until a few week or so ago."

"I _grew up_." Kurt replied, swiftly. "I got over my petty jealousy and realised that I'd rather have Rachel as a friend than an enemy- I thought you'd realised this too!"

"You know what Rachel's like," Quinn's tone turned wheedling and she played with a lose thread on her throw, twirling it between her fingers as she spoke. "You can handle her in small doses, but sometimes it gets too much."

"I know that you two argued in front of the Cheerios," Kurt spat, "Don't try to push this all over to Rachel Quinn, you're being so shallow!"

"You don't understand!" Quinn exploded, grateful that her mother wasn't in the house. Jumping from her bed, she paced back and forward across the small space of her bedroom floor, her hand gripping the phone tighter. "You don't get it Kurt!"

"You're right- I don't! You and Rachel were friends and suddenly you turned your back on her!"

"You've never been popular Kurt!" She threw her free hand up in the air and at Kurt's offended noise corrected herself. "I mean, you have tons of people who love you and don't want you to change! I know you might think that the whole world is against you, but you are so much luckier than you realise! Do you know how much I would give to have people who actually value me for who I am instead of who they want me to be?"

"You have that Quinn… in New Directions." Kurt's voice was softer as he realised what Quinn was trying to say. "You do…"

"Not like you do," Her voice dropped and she slumped onto her bed, resting her head on her knees, tucking her feet. "Not like Rachel does… with Jesse. And the worst thing… the worst thing is that you are so… _so secure_. You know that you're happy with what you've got. I can't be like you Kurt, I just _can't_. I have to have popularity, because I've had it before and now I want it back… I _really really_ want it back…"

"Why do you need it Quinn? You have us."

"I just… I need more. I need… _something_." Her voice cracked over the last word and there was a long silence as Kurt waited for her to gather her composure.

"I get it…" His voice was hesitant. "I get it okay? Rachel is the coolest person to be around. But she's kind, Quinn. Sure she's kind of loud and pushy at times but when you get past that… she's kind and sweet and loyal. She's a good friend. And she needs you right now Quinn… just think about that."

With that, the line went dead and Quinn pulled the phone away to look at it for a moment before throwing it across the bed and into the pillows by her head board. Groaning, she buried her head in her hands and let tears seep between the cracks in her fingers.

**xxx**

It had all happened very quickly, Rachel barely remembered doing it. As she had driven home, she had tried to decide what exactly she could do now that her own mother didn't want her. The thought of sticking around for her fathers to come home had been appalling. They would see immediately that she was upset, demand to know the reason why and immediately cut off all ties from her and Shelby and Rachel couldn't allow that to happen. Not when she had waited for so long to meet her mother. So staying at home was not an option. But neither was going to Jesse's or Quinn's and she had just been considering this problem, chewing on a hang nail as she did so, when a text came through on her phone, making her jump.

_Hey Rache, how you doing? – Blaine._

And then she'd decided that if she couldn't stay in Ohio she would just have to go to the one city where everything felt better.

Taking the money she had been saving to buy the tickets to the theatre and dinner this weekend and then a little extra, she slipped it into her dad's wallet with a furrowed brow and took out her papa's emergency card, which he had told her she could only use in a crisis. And Rachel considered this a major crisis.

Luck had been on her side from then on. She happened to find an airline that was flying that night and, as luck would have it, allowed minors to fly unaccompanied. Booking tickets to New York from Lima, Ohio, had been ridiculously easy and somewhere, in the back of her mind, Rachel realised just how stupid this was.

Beneath her the plane seemed to rumble a little, pulling her from her thoughts and she felt her hands grip the seat even tighter. The music in her ears was helping little and she suddenly remembered why she didn't make plane rides on her own.

When she had flown with Jesse to California and New York he had played Broadway Trivia quizzes with her all the way there and told her funny anecdotes to keep her calm… she shook her head quickly. She wouldn't think of Jesse or Kurt or Quinn or her dads. A stab of guilt flashed through her at the thought of her dads. They would be worried sick if they knew where she was, but she hoped they would just presume she was at Jesse's and she could explain all the next morning. For now she just needed out of Ohio.

It was suffocating her, pushing the breath out of her with every second she stayed there. It felt as if everyone was watching her, judging her and talking behind her back. Like the forces of nature were trying to keep her down and out of the spotlight where she belonged. She could handle the judgmental glances and the snarky comments usually, but not when they were directed at her baby. Curling her hand around her stomach she tried to push down the flow of rage that ebbed over her like a furious tide. No one…. _No one_ could judge her child. Not ever.

Settling further into her seat, she sighed and shut her eyes for a moment, trying to lose herself in the music coming through her headphones and the endless rush of grey clouds outside the window.

**Xxx**

It was raining in New York. Torrentially so. She managed to grab her cab with a combination of luck and sympathy. She had been stood in the milling crowd outside the terminal when a cab had pulled up outside and a couple dressed in rain jackets and holding a dark umbrella had managed to claim it. She had surged forward with the crowd anyway, as she had learnt to do and the woman had turned and spotted her.

"Wait, Jim!" Her accent was most obviously English as she tugged on her husbands arm, saying, when he uttered an equally plumy 'What?'. "Let that girl on, she's obviously got two people to look after." The crowd had watched in horror as Rachel, with her tiny bag, had been ushered through the rain and into the waiting cab, smiling at the woman gratefully.

"Thank you so much."

The cab had sped off before she could hear their reply and she settled back in the seat, giving the driver the address she remembered from the last time she had been here.

Blaine's uncle lived in a house that, by Ohio standards was small, but Rachel knew was like a palace in New York. There was a tiny porch and a few steps up to the deep blue front door of the two story house and, once paying the ridiculous cab fare, Rachel clambered out, still in the rain and hurried up to the door.

After a few minutes of ringing, realisation slowly dawned on her. Blaine wasn't home and neither was his uncle. Cursing inwardly, Rachel pulled her cell from her pocket, only to realise that it had died sometime on the cab ride and cursing aloud this time.

Glancing at her watch and calculating the time in New York, she decided that she would probably only have to wait have an hour or so for Blaine to return from wherever he was. Until then she would just have to sit tight and hope a passing pedestrian took mercy on her if anything happened.

It seemed hours that she perched on that tiny porch, trying to shelter from the weather and the catcalls that came every now and then. She was shivering and wet and desperately in need of something, _anything_, to ease the ache she felt building up in her head and heart. She felt so very alone that seeing anyone familiar would have been a mercy. And that was why, when she heard her name being called from across the street she was quick to look up.

There stood Blaine, dark hair plastered to his face in the rain and his eyes wide with complete surprise.

And that was why Rachel Berry, country girl from Ohio, ran down the few steps and across the road towards her friend without even thinking.

And that was why Rachel Berry got hit by an oncoming cab.

**Xxx**

**Don't hate me! I promise that's not the end, there is much, **_**much **_**more! Tell me if you saw that coming by the way, leave me a review to say. I'm morbidly interested. I hope this doesn't seem too out there, but it's kind of weirdly appropriate for all of the most recent glee stuff...  
**

**I also wanted to talk about Quinn a little more at the beginning, so that whole section was re written, which was why it took so long! Sorry about the wait by the way, I've been so swamped with exams recently, it's absolutely vile. **

**I hope you're all holding on tight because we're in for a bumpy ride. There will be a HAPPY ENDING though- I promise. :D **

**Thank you to all of the lovely reviews I've been getting- I love them so much and they really inspire me to write more you lovely, lovely people. As a thank you (and a sorry for taking so long and the awful cliff hanger) I'll leave you guys a sneak peak for the next chapter if you review :) **

**Thank you to: dazzledpixie88, whokitten99, , Likewow5556, panda bear lover, Kathrine, sk8rgal17, Valeriej98, Dreamline101, Sandy, star2525, auhaes23, LTree16, Kkaty, TVHollywoodDiva, mistressamy and Nicole. Your lovely reviews made my day!**

**Also, major thank you to Valeriej98 and CupcakeQueen23 who have been reading/ re reading the fic and leaving reviews every chapter. I just love it when people do that. **

**Okay, don't forget to leave me your thoughts in return for a sneak peak and I'm sorry this chapter was a little short.**

**Much love!**

**~Ray **

**xxx**


	41. Chapter 40

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

He was woken, rather abruptly, by his cell ringing from his bedside table. Trying to push the weariness from his bones, he sat, stretching quickly and cursing his head, where he could feel a stress headache beginning.

"Hello?" His voice was rough and gravely and he cleared his throat, trying to sound more awake as a frantic voice came through the device in his hand.

"Jesse, is that you?"

"Yes… is that… Blaine? Blaine Anderson?" He frowned, his brows furrowing and his eyes creasing with confusion. He'd certainly not given Blaine his cell number, so how Blaine had got a hold of it to call him, he had no idea.

"It is, Jesse, where you?"

"I'm in Ohio… what's wrong Blaine?" He sat up in bed, running a hand through his curls.

"It's Rachel, she's been in an accident."

The world seemed to freeze around him and for a moment he could hear only buzzing as Blaine's voice filtered through the phone. He stomach twisted and he felt bile rise in the back of his throat as he lurched unexpectedly to his feet, his legs shaking unsteadily, forcing him to grab a hold of the bedpost to keep from falling.

"Jesse… Jesse?"

"What… what _happened_? Is she…?"

"She's okay… I mean, she's still alive."

"What _happened _Blaine?" He knew his voice was curt and sharp but couldn't bring himself to care.

"She was hit by a cab…"

"Hit by a… Where _are _you? Where is _she?_"

"In New York… I don't why, I just came home and suddenly she was there. Listen Jesse, the hospital says that she's going to be okay. The driver managed to slow down before he hit her, but it still took her knees out from under her. She landed on her back and hit her head pretty hard, so she's unconscious now, but they say she's been really lucky and it's mostly just cuts and bruises. The worst might be her head, which could be fractured, but they aren't sure yet. They're still running tests or something. We've called her dads, they're on their way but I thought you should know."

"Which hospital is she in?" He sank slowly to the bed and scrawled the name onto a scrap of paper as Blaine told him.

"I'll be there."

"Jesse, you don't need to… her dads will be here soon, I'm sure it'll be fine, she should be discharged soon…"

He hung up on the boy mid sentence.

**Xxx**

White. That was the first thing that came to her. Her eyes flickered open and she cringed away from the foreign invasion of bright lights attacking her retina. She was lying somewhere unfamiliar, that much was obvious and she searched with her other senses as her eyes stayed shut. There was a familiar, but rather unpleasant smell of cleaning solution lingering somewhere and a steady, rhythmic beating that she knew instinctively was her heart beat being projected on a monitor.

Shifting in her bed, she felt stiff sheets rustle against her bare arms and a flat pillow beneath her head.

As feeling returned to her limbs she realised, slowly, that she was aching. Her joints were protesting angrily as she moved them slowly and she could feel the aggravation of bruised skin brushing against fabric. Turning her head to one side, she hissed aloud as she felt a stabbing pain through her skull.

"Rachel?" The voice made her jump and her eyes shot open, drifting, disorientated, for a moment, before settling on her daddy.

He was sat, his hair askew and his clothes rumpled and creased as he gazed at her with a bleary expression.

"Daddy?" Her voice rasped out, soft and scraping against her throat.

"Rachel?"He stumbled from his chair to kneel beside the bed, his hands reaching blindly for her and cradling her in his arms. "Oh my God… thank God you're awake."

She didn't say anything, just held him close and inhaled the familiar, soothing scent of his shirt. Her eyes trembled with the force of trying to push away her tears and she tightened his scent on him, holding him like she would fade away if she let go.

"Baby… oh I'm so angry with you I can't even _begin_ to describe."

A muffled sob escaped her and she buried herself further into him, her voice masked by his shirt as she said. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry."

He didn't say anything else, just held her, rocking her soothingly as he did when she was a child. As her sobs began to subside, a nurse entered, smiling slightly at them and checking a few charts in silence, unwilling to disturb the peace.

"Shh," Leroy pulled away from her a little, cupping one cheek softly in his hand.

"Where's papa?" Rachel tried to peer around him.

"He's gone for coffee, he'll be back soon. There's someone else here too." He nodded over her shoulder and she turned, her jaw dropping when she spotted a familiar figure slumped over an uncomfortable plastic chair.

"Jesse," She murmured and leaned away from her father to reach out for him. The moment she touched his knee, he jerked awake, his eyes opening blearily and he almost fell off the chair, he stood so quickly.

"What happened?" He peered around the room. "You let me sleep? Is she okay? Did something happen while I was asleep?"

"Calm down Jesse, she's awake." Leroy nodded towards Rachel and the moment Jesse's eyes met hers, the bleariness disappeared.

"Oh my God, Rachel." He took a stumbling step towards her, kneeling beside the bed and reaching hesitantly for her, before changing his mind and letting his hand fall onto the comforter next to her. "I'm so glad you're awake."

"What are you doing here?" Turning to glance at her daddy, she was surprised to find him gone and the door shut.

"Blaine called me." His voice was rough and dry. "I came as soon as I heard."

"What happened?" She frowned slightly as she thought back.

"You were hit… by a cab." He ground out, his hands balling into fists on the comforter.

"A cab? Oh… yes… I remember now. Am I okay? I _feel_ okay?" Her hands slipped down to her stomach and a terrifying thought struck her. "Is the baby okay?"

"Fine, the baby's fine. You're so lucky Rache, the paramedics say it was the best they've ever seen anyone come out of a car crash. You're _covered _in bruises and they say you've bruised the bone on your skull or something, but it's not fractured so you're pretty lucky there. You managed to not fall on your stomach… mother's instinct or something. They say you've sprained your wrist," He gestured to her left wrist, which was covered in a bandage. "And you might have pulled some tendons or something, but otherwise it's all bruises and scratches. Do you feel like you're hurt?"

"Not particularly." She flexed her joints experimentally. "It sort of feels tender, like I _should_ hurt more than I do."

"That'll be the drugs they have you on." Jesse sighed a little and shook his head. "They're keeping you in for observation or something, to check there are no permanent head injuries or harm to the baby."

"Do they think it's likely?" Her hands slipped to her stomach again and she felt and heady rush of fear shoot through her.

"Not too much, maybe a little but… not really."He glanced at her and she saw a strange expression, almost fear, in his eyes.

She waited, silently, as he battled with himself and wasn't surprised when he cleared his throat, his hands twisting together nervously as he said, his voice soft. "I have to ask Rache… What happened?"

She felt her face flush and looked down, pulling at the threads of the comforter.

"I just… I needed to talk to someone about what… what happened." She saw him cringe out of the corner of her eye. "I felt… trapped. Like Ohio was suffocating me."

"And you couldn't talk to anyone _in_ Ohio?" His voice was raw with emotion, rough. "Kurt, Quinn, your dads… Shelby even?"

"I did talk to Shelby." She spoke softly, ad he had to lean forward to hear her.

"You did? Then what happened…?" His voice turned harder, angry. "What did she _do_?"

"She… we were talking about… things. It just came out, I didn't mean to say anything." Her hands slipped to her rounded stomach again and Jesse's eyes fell to her stomach.

"Oh Rache," His automatic reaction was to comfort her and he longed to reach out and pull her into his arms, but resisted, instead taking one of her hands, which was lying on the unnervingly white comforter, in his own, holding it tightly. "How did she take it?"

"Badly." Was all Rachel said and he sighed again, rubbing the palm of her hand with his thumb.

"What did she say?"

"It wasn't about what she said… it was more the way she said it. So angry, outraged… disappointed." A tear slipped down her cheek and Jesse couldn't hold back his desires any more. Slowly he climbed into the bed next to her and pulled her, ever so delicately, close to him, wrapping his arms around her. To his relief, she melted into his embrace, laying her head against her chest with a slow sigh.

"I've only known my mother for a few weeks and I've already managed to disappoint her." Her voice cracked over the last word and Jesse's grip tightened slightly.

"It's her own fault if she feels that way. She'll miss out on the beauty of it. How something so amazing can be made from something so awful. It's a miracle Rache, plain and simple." His and pulled hers up to cup her stomach, her hands sandwiched between her stomach and his. "There's a human in there." His breath tickled against the sensitive skin of her neck and ear as he whispered. "A human child. A _baby_. _Life_."

Another tear slipped from her eye and she was about to brush it away when she felt the unexpected movement against her stomach, the fluttering sensation of a definite kick.

Pushing his hand under hers, she felt him go completely still beside her and smiled a little at him. Once the kicking had slowed and then stopped he turned back to her and smiled a little.

A peaceful silence settled over the two for a moment, before Rachel saw Jesse's expression twist into one of anguish.

"What's wrong?" She asked softly and he sighed heavily, glancing up at her.

"This is my fault."

"No-" She immediately tried to defend him, but he shook his head, cutting through her.

"It is, don't lie to me. If I hadn't spoken to you like that… pushed you away…"

"No." Her voice was firmer this time. "It was me, all me Jesse. If I hadn't been so petty, so hormonal and dramatic this wouldn't have happened. If I hadn't run over the road, if I'd stayed at home, if I hadn't argued with you… this would never have happened. It's my own entire fault."

"I shouldn't have pushed you away all week," He tightened his arm around her. "And I shouldn't have said you were just a girl, I didn't mean it and I'm sorry."

"I know," She ran a gentle hand through his hair, soothing him. "I know."

"You're so much more than some girl Rache. You're the love of my life… my perfect match. You're _my _girl."

"I shouldn't have tried to stop you from seeing Krissy. It was stupid and naïve. She's your family and you want to get to know her."

"She doesn't mean to do this to us you know, cause this tension. If she knew what had happened she'd probably crawl here and beg your forgiveness." He pulled her closer, smiling a little.

"I know… listen, Jesse. I know you think that you don't have any family and I understand why you want to get to know Krissy better but you do have some sort of a family, you know that right?" She glanced up at him and, at his confused expression, pulled his hands over her stomach. "I know…" Her voice was soft and hesitant and he kept his silence, waiting for her to continue. "I know that the child in here isn't yours but… in my mind at least… he, or she, will always be yours really. And we love you, both of us, just remember that okay?"

A tear slipped down Jesse's cheek and Rachel wiped it away gently before pulling him closer to her, cradling his head on her breast and murmuring words of comfort in his ear.

"I love you," He told her softly, talking to her stomach. "I think I've loved you from the moment I met you."

**Xxx **

By the time Rachel came home most of the school knew what had happened, through Facebook and idle gossip and she had received a few concerned texts from members of the glee club. It wasn't really a surprise then that Kurt was waiting on her doorstep with the biggest bouquet of roses she had ever seen when Leroy pulled up in the driveway to the Berry home.

He hurried over to the car as they all piled out, Rachel, Jesse (who had refused to leave until she did) and Blaine (who had been offered a lift home by the two eternally grateful Berry men and was going to be taken back to Dalton Academy after a family dinner).

"Rachel!" Kurt threw his arms around the girl, hugging her tightly as Jesse hovered behind them, his arms outstretched, ready to catch hold of Rachel if she fell.

"Kurt," She smiled as she hugged the boy back, a little surprise at his outburst, "I didn't expect you to be here."

"My best friend is in a major car crash and you don't expect me to be there for her? Give me some credit honey." He moved a step back, keeping his hands on her shoulders as he looked her over. "Hmm, only one bandage but a few bruises on show. You're looking peaky too… we'll sort that."

She laughed lightly and smiled at him. "Thank you for your diagnosis Dr Kurt." Turning to her fathers she introduced them to the boy. "Daddy, Papa, this is my friend Kurt. Kurt these are my daddies, Leroy and Hiram."

"Good to meet you Kurt," Leroy held out a hand and Kurt shook it, suddenly seeming shy as he greeted them.

"Good to meet you too Mr Berry, Mr Berry." He nodded and smiled at the two, who exchanged a glance before Hiram stepped forward and said.

"Maybe you could stay for dinner Kurt? Unless your company is expected elsewhere?"

"Not that I know of… It's beef burger night tonight anyway and I _hate_ being in the house with all of those calories." He wrinkled his nose delicately and then shot the Berry men an anxious glance. "As long as you have enough space."

"Of course, we enjoy having guests," Leroy smiled and clapped the boy gently on the shoulder before starting into the house.

"Great!" Rachel smiled at him and turned to Blaine, who was loitering awkwardly behind the couple, watching Kurt with a half smile. "This is Blaine, Kurt."

Her eyes widened ever so slightly, looking at Kurt with significance and he blushed a little as Blaine held out a hand.

"Kurt, it's good to meet you." He shook hands with him, his smile and tone warm as he spoke.

"You too," Kurt smiled, a slight flush still lighting his face as Rachel lead the four of them inside.

Once they were through the doorway, their coats and shoes disposed of and standing in the hallway, Kurt suddenly seemed to remember that he was holding the roses and handed them towards Rachel, smiling slightly.

"Here, for you."

"Thanks Kurt," She sniffed them appreciatively and nodded towards the lounge, "why don't you two go into the lounge and make yourselves comfortable while Jesse and I go and put these in water. We'll be back in a minute."

Once the two boys had followed her instructions, she smiled silently up at her boyfriend and the pair started through the kitchen, nodding at Hiram, who had already started on dinner and into the utility room. Jesse leant back on the counter, watching her with an expression of soft tenderness as she went about getting a vase.

"How do you feel?" He asked gently.

"I'm fine," She smiled at him over her shoulder. "A little tired." Placing the vase beside him, he turned to fill it with water as she began the process of cutting the ends of the flowers and removing the leaves.

"Do you want to go and have a nap?" His voice was immediately concerned. "No one will mind… I could bring your meal up to you."

She shook her head, smiling at him. "I'm okay, don't worry."

He turned to lean on the counter next to her as she started to put the roses in the vase, arranging them carefully and stepping back every few moments to observe the overall effect. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," She nodded, cupping his cheek for a moment before turning back to her flowers.

"So…" He eyed her carefully, amusement dancing lightly in his expression as he asked. "Kurt and Blaine huh?"

She flushed guiltily, but shrugged him off. "I don't know _what_ you're talking about."

"Are you trying to get them together?"

She flushed again, but looked up at him, her eyes wide with sincerity. "Would it be that awful? They're _so_ well suited."

"I don't think it would be awful at all." He pulled her into his side, hugging her close. "Just keep it subtle okay?"

She laughed softly and nodded, picking up the roses and leading him through the kitchen again and into the hallway. Stopping at the door to the living room, she watched the two boys conversing together.

"He really needs someone." She whispered softly and felt Jesse nod behind her, hugging her to him for a moment before letting her go and propelling her into the room.

Greeting the pair, she set down the flowers and sat on the couch, curling into Jesse as was customary for the pair. The four settled into gentle conversation and a contented glow rested around them throughout the rest of the evening.

**Xxx**

**How relieved are you guys? I mean, the amount of people who thought I'd kill the baby! Give me some credit people- I am not that heartless! Klaine in here for those of you who (like me) love it. I just went back and read through the story and realised that I'd said in Chapter 5 (!) that I would try and put Klaine in here… well, better late than never I guess? Also, more Hummelberry and of course St. Berry fluff. I like the fluff, it makes me happy.**

**So… thoughts? I'm really sorry to anyone who I didn't get round to replying to on the reviews- some of you have your messaging turned off so I couldn't reply :( And was not working well with me and I didn't want to make you guys wait any longer because I'm about to dive into some major revision so the next two or so months are going to be really, really hectic. I will try to keep on updating but I'm going to have to beg for your patience? Please? :)**

**I'm sorry it took a while, as I just said, life's been really hectic, but I'm trying as hard as I can. **

**I gave out previews last time we passed a milestone and we've just passed another! 600 reviews- thanks to CupcakeQueen23 for giving me the 600****th**** review- you're awesome honey! Thank you as well to everyone who has reviewed since I started, it just makes me so happy that you enjoy this story so much and it gives me so much pleasure to write it and read your reviews. So I guess I'll give out some previews- it seems only fair as that's what I normally do for a milestone. Previews last week and this week- am I spoiling you guys? (No way, you totally deserve it.)**

**Okay, down to business. Thank you to those who reviewed: Krystin, anon, whokitten99, slumdogdelaware, frenchirishjewel, StBerry Lover24, MilloinPages, , LTree16, Koryander, Sandy, Kkaty, StberryFTW, auhaes23, Likewow5556, TVHollywoodDiva, Earnest Hours, xXBroadwayBabyXx, FromTheDepthOfMyMind, star2525, dazzledpixie88, CupcakeQueen23, Soyli Oliveira, loveisalifetimeproject, JA-LUVER-4EVER, pepsipiggy and Miee **

**Thank you to the anon reviewer who said that my story made them ship St. Berry- that is so cool! Welcome to the good ship St. Berry!**

**Okay, I hope you enjoyed- sorry for the wait and for those who asked about my one shot, I am working on it very very slowly. It's just turning out to be very long and I'm thinking it might have to turn into a multi chap fic if I can ever actually finish you're waiting you should go and check out Earnest Hours' fics, she's done some great one shots recently and she's an amazing writer so I would really recommend them!  
**

**Leave a review for a preview to celebrate 600 reviews!**

**Have a good day/night folks.**

**~Ray**


	42. Chapter 41

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

It was early the next morning, around six o'clock, when a ferocious banging came at the doorway to the Berry household. Rachel stumbled out of bed, wincing when she put unwanted pressure on her bruised limbs, which were still sore, and grabbed her dressing gown, pausing at the top of the stairs as Leroy, his hair still rumpled and his eyes still heavy, pulled open the door.

"Quinn?" His voice was blank, uncertain, but the blonde peered around him and her eyes settled on Rachel.

"Rachel?" She called, past Leroy. "Oh my God, are you okay?"

Leroy stepped back to allow her in and the cheerleader hurried past him, stopping uncertainly at the bottom of the stairs and looking up at Rachel.

"Are you okay?" She repeated, a little more quietly, her voice heavy with concern.

"I… I'm fine," Rachel's stare was filled with incredulity. "What are you doing here Quinn?"

"I couldn't… I didn't know what happened to you. I had to hear from _Finn _that you had been in a car crash… I thought you were _dead_!"

Quinn's eyes filled with moisture. "I thought you'd died and that you had hated me."

Rachel's expression crumpled. "I could never hate you Quinn."

And suddenly, they were in each other's arms, holding each other so very tightly, their tears combining as they sobbed into each other's shoulders.

"I'm sorry," Quinn hiccoughed hugging the smaller girl tightly.

"No it was _my_ fault," Rachel sniffled, pulled back a little, to sniff and tug Quinn by the hand into her bedroom. They sat together on the bed and Rachel reached over the grab the tissues and pass them to Quinn, balancing them in between them.

"It wasn't your fault… I should have said something."

"I shouldn't have pushed you; I know how hard you worked to become the head cheerleader and… being my friend… it would have ruined all of that."

They looked at each for a moment before giggling a little, through their tears and hugging each other again.

"Friends?" Rachel whispered in Quinn's ear.

"Friends." Quinn agreed, sniffling again and squeezing her. "I _hated _not being your friend Rachel; it was like there was a piece of me missing."

"Me too." Rachel snorted a little at the irony and settled back against the headboard, Quinn joining her. "It was actually one of the reasons that I went to New York. I needed to talk and… well, I didn't really have anyone. I just felt so trapped here so I jumped on a plane to New York-"

Quinn scoffed slightly from beside her. "Only you are dramatic enough to just _jump on a plane to New York_ when you feel down."

Rachel shrugged a little, but continued. "And then I got into the accident and… I just missed you Quinn… _so_ much."

"I know… I'm sorry." A grieved expression crossed her face for a moment and then she asked. "What _happened_ anyway? With the accident… I mean… did you really get hit by a cab? Are you okay?"

"I did and I'm fine, really, don't worry."

"You got hit by a cab and you're saying you're _fine_? You're mad!" Quinn's hands fluttered uselessly around her, as if looking for invisible injuries.

"No really, the paramedics said I was incredibly lucky. Just a few bruises and scratches and a sprained wrist." She pulled up her sleeve to show the blonde her lightly wrapped wrist.

"And the baby?" Quinn's hands ghosted down to her stomach, still not touching her.

"All fine… thankfully." Rachel's hands followed the path Quinn's traced above her stomach, holding it. The bump wasn't too big yet, not particularly visible if she wore loose clothing and Rachel knew she was lucky. At this point so many other mothers were bent over backwards, but she was free from the waddling for now.

"Thank God…" Quinn gave her a weak smile and wiped the remaining tears from her eyes. "Can we get breakfast together?"

"I'm sure we have something downstairs," Rachel smiled in return. "And then you can give me a lift to school."

"Sounds good."

**Xxx**

"Rachel, honey, can you come here?" Looking up from where she was sat on her bed, reading a book and tapping her foot against the comforter to the beat of the _Into the Woods_ soundtrack that was playing in the background. Hiram was stood at the door and, though he smiled at her, she could see the worry in his eyes.

"Of course," She slid off the bed and padded towards him, her expression full of concern. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, per se. Your dad and I just want to talk to you."

Following him downstairs, Rachel hesitated at the kitchen doorway, seeing her daddy already seated, his hands resting on the table and a sombre expression on his face.

Sitting slowly, she glanced between her fathers and asked, softly. "What's going on?"

"Is Jesse at home this weekend Rachel?" Leroy asked, glancing at her.

"No… he's seeing Krissy." Her brows pulled together and she felt the tendons of anxiousness curling around her stomach and pulling tightly.

Leroy cursed under his breath and Hiram said, averting her attention. "Your daddy has to go away on business this weekend."

"The law firm decided they need someone else at the conference." Leroy scowled; his voice bitter. "I wasn't meant to be going but Andrew's sick."

"Okay?" Rachel frowned a little. "I'm sorry about that daddy; but what does this have to do with Jesse?"

"Your Aunt Veronica is meant to be here this weekend."

Dread flooded through her and her eyes widened as she glanced from one to the other, her bottom lip coming between her teeth as she chewed on it nervously.

"Why?" She asked finally, her voice low and resigned.

"She heard about the accident." Leroy sighed heavily. "She wants to make sure you're okay. She'll be here Friday to Sunday, but that is the same time I'm away for."

"It's gonna be just me and you kiddo, think we can fend her off together?"

"Sure," She smiled at him across the table, "we're on Batman."

A grin spread across Hiram's face as he replied. "Sounds like a plan Robin."

"What does this have to do with Jesse though?" Rachel turned to Leroy, her brows furrowing together.

"We were hoping that you could go to Jesse's over the weekend and we could say you were at a friend's or something, keep her out of your way." Leroy frowned, rubbing his brow, a telltale sign of stress from the older man.

Gently, placing her hand on his, Rachel coaxed his gaze to her and said. "It'll be okay daddy; papa and I can protect ourselves' from the wrath of Aunt Veronica."

Leroy smiled a little weakly and patted her hand softly.

"If you say so sweetie, I have faith in you."

**Xxx**

On Friday night, at seven o'clock, Rachel stood in the kitchen, nervously stirring a pan on the stove as she watched her papa pace, anxiously, around the hallway.

"Papa?" Her voice was soft, but it carried in the otherwise silent house.

"Yes sweetie?" Hiram halted and turned to look at her, trying to smile.

"This is going to be bad isn't it?" It wasn't really a question, but she still phrased it as one and he still answered.

"It isn't going to be the most pleasant experience poppet, I'm sorry. But we have to do things for family don't we?"

Rachel shrugged, just as the doorbell rang, the piercing noise startling her and making her jump slightly.

"Don't panic honey," Were Hiram's final words of comfort, as he turned to open the door to the small, but incredibly foreboding woman.

"Veronica," He greeted her enthusiastically, ushering her inside and taking her bags from her. "Good to see you."

"Yes, well it would be if my brother could at least bother to be here." The old woman griped, her beady eyes sweeping the tidy hallway. "Have you ever considered getting a maid? This place is a mess."

Rachel saw her papa glance upwards with exasperation, but he smiled at her aunt wanly and merely said. "I'll get Leroy to look into it. Dinner is ready to go if you would like to eat now?"

"Fine, I guess I shall have to since you've already made it. Where's my niece anyway?"

"Here," Rachel spoke softly, hoping that her aunt wouldn't hear her, but unfortunately Veronica did and turned, sweeping over her with one, vicious glance.

"Ah, so there you are." Her eyes narrowed as she made her way into the kitchen. "You're starting to get chubby girl, are you over eating?"

A flash of panic shot through Rachel, who shook her head hurriedly. "No Aunt."

"Well you must be," Veronica sat heavily in a chair and accepted the wine that Hiram poured her with a barely discernable nod. "I'd recommend eating less if I were you." Turning, she took a smug sip of the wine and Rachel gritted her teeth together, focussing her gaze on the food before her.

The dinner went reasonably well until desert was being served and Rachel felt a buzz from her pocket. Checking that her aunt was otherwise occupied, she checked her phone, smiling a little when she saw his message.

_How's the wicked witch doing? Being as horribly snide and criticising as always I guess? Love you –J. _

She smirked slightly and went to reply when she heard her aunt's voice, as loud as a whip crack and making her almost jump out of her chair.

"Rachel! What _are_ you doing?" The woman had turned in her chair to observe Rachel and she could see her papa behind her, his mouth hanging open, aghast, as he froze in dishing up the cheesecake.

"N-Nothing," Rachel hurriedly shoved the phone into her pocket, but her aunt's eyes narrowed even more.

"Don't lie to me girl, surely you were taught better than that? You were on a mobile telephone device weren't you?"

"I… I… no…"

"Don't _lie to me_!" Her voice rose again and Rachel flinched back a little.

"I'm not…"

"You are!" She turned on Hiram. "I've been _telling you and telling you_ Hiram, the girl needs a better education. She would never have the audacity to talk to her betters like this if she did. St. Mary's school for girls, in England, _that_ is where you should send the girl. They would practically _beat_ obedience into her there. None of this mollycoddling they get in high school these days-"

"No." Hiram cut her off firmly, handing both her and Rachel their deserts.

"Don't you want what's best for her?" Veronica demanded, angrily. "And it's obviously not this so called school she goes to. England, that'll do her some good. Fresh country air."

"There is nothing _wrong_ with _my daughter_." Hiram's voice was so strong and icy that it cut straight through Veronica and even Rachel looked up at her papa, wondering at the unusual tone she heard in his voice. Her papa never spoke like this. "This topic is over. Rachel is staying where she is."

The rest of dinner passed in a steady silence and Rachel took a moment to hug her papa closely before she went to bed.

**Xxx**

The next evening, Rachel was lounging on her bed, her cell on speaker phone as she talked to Kurt, her friend's laughter crackly through the small speaker.

"You have to tell me how you and Blaine met." Kurt insisted and Rachel laughter slightly.

"We were at The Met, I've told you before."

"And what was he like? C'mon Rachel!"

"He was sweet, charming and a real hero. Without him… well…" She trailed off and they were silent for a moment before she said, coughing a little to break the tension. "All I can say is that it's a shame he's gay."

Kurt laughed loudly again and replied. "Maybe I should mention your little crush to Jesse, how would you like that now?"

Rachel scoffed and replied, turning over to get into a more comfortable position and taking the phone with her. "And maybe _I_ should tell _Blaine_ about _your_ little crush Kurt?"

"I do not have a crush on Blaine!" Kurt snapped, hotly and Rachel chuckled.

"Oh please, you guys have met up two times since Monday at Dalton."

"Just because I meet up with him, it does _not _ mean that I have a crush on him Rachel! Are you out of your mind? He's my _friend_. And _just_ my friend. It's ludicrous. _You're _ludicrous for even thinking of it."

"Fine!" Rachel conceded, smiling. "I take it all back."

"Good, now tell me, have you _bought_ any baby grows yet? Because honey seriously, yellow is _so _last season. It's all peach nowadays."

"Kurt," She berated him lightly, sitting up to hold her stomach. "The baby isn't due for three months!"

Glancing up, she froze as her eyes fell on a figure in her doorway. Her whole body shuddered and the phone fell from her hand as her Aunt Veronica stepped into the room, her mouth pressed into a grim line.

"Did I hear you correctly Rachel?" Her voice was so harsh and icy Rachel almost flinched away.

"Aunt…"

"Rachel!" She snapped, walking quickly towards her and forcing Rachel to back away until the back of her knees collided with her bed. "Tell me!"

"I… I…" She tried to cringe away as her aunt reached out a hand and tore up the protection of her shirt, leaving her swollen stomach exposed.

"I can't believe you." Her voice was rough with fury and Rachel thought she could see her physically trembling with her anger. She dropped the shirt so that it fell and covered the bump again and then rose to her full height. Suddenly, she was no longer the frail, bitter old woman that Rachel had always known, but a tall, strong woman practically burning with anger.

"Get downstairs." She sounded suddenly terrifying and Rachel gazed up at her, her eyes wide.

"Aunt Veronica-"

"_Downstairs_!" The shout ripped through the house and Rachel jumped violently, feeling tears spring to her eyes as she hurried to comply with her aunt's order.

Once she was seated on the couch, her aunt stood before her, looking foreboding with her hands placed on her stoutly hips, Veronica glared down at her.

"How could you allow this to happen Rachel?"

"It was-"

"Do not interrupt me!" Her expression twisted in the most violent disgust Rachel had ever seen and Rachel's insides quivered, making her feel like curling up in a corner somewhere, away from her aunt's fury. "Have you been taught _no_ manners girl?" She took a deep, shaking breath and continued, a little more calmly. "I thought you'd been raised better than this Rachel. What makes you think that _you_ could do this? Raise a child? Exactly how ignorant are you?"

"I didn't…"

"Shut up! You're still a child yourself Rachel! It's not like I ever had high hopes for you, but really, you have to go and ruin your future like this? By raising a bastard?"

"Don't you _dare_ call my child that!" Rachel rose to her feet, standing nose to nose with her aunt, her voice full of barely contained anger.

"Why not, that's what it is! You have to deal with the consequences of your actions Rachel! You and that _idiot_ of a boyfriend who went and got you knocked up! What kind of worthless scum are you associating yourself with?"

"He _is not _worthless! Or scum! You know nothing about-"

"I know enough now!" She caught a hold of Rachel's arm, giving the smaller girl one rough shake as she said. "See sense, you fool!" Releasing Rachel she stepped back and her gaze became more intense and calculating. "The best thing to do now is to ship you off to St Mary's… but we're going to have to get that thing out of you first."

Rachel felt a piercing shriek escape her, scraping through her throat as it went and she launched herself on her aunt, pushing her back. Surprisingly, Veronica kept her balance and grabbed Rachel's hurt wrist, her expression enraged. Pain lanced through Rachel, shooting up her arm angrily. Reaching out her hand so quickly that Rachel didn't have time to move, she slapped her hard around the face, pain flaring through Rachel's cheek as she wheeled away. Veronica kept her grip tight on her wrist, like a shackle and shook her a little, again, making Rachel cry out softly.

"Don't you _dare_ do that to me _ever _again." Pushing her away a little, Veronica's eyes narrowed. "To your room. Now. I obviously can't get any sort of sense out of a girl like you. You're a failure."

Turning on her heel Rachel fled upstairs, her cheek and wrist throbbing painfully and tears of anger blinding her. She slammed the door behind her as she stumbled through it and into her room, falling onto the bed in a pile of anger and grief. Instinctively, her hands reached out, groping blindly for her phone and automatically dialling his number. She waited, still crying, as it rang, wiping away a few of her tears. A small noise of frustration slipped from her as it went through to voice mail and she tried again, re-dialling as she sniffled. Again it went through to voice mail and she threw the device across the bed, turning to bury herself beneath her comforter as tears continued to pour down her cheeks and she fell into a fitful sleep.

**Xxx**

**Poor Rachel! Thinks really aren't going well for her! **

**Now, I know this chapter is late. Again. Because I'm terrible. But I actually have a proper reason for this! I've been working on another fic that I can post over May while I'm in the middle of my exams and I want to get that all finished up, preferably within the next week or two so that when I come to post it all I have to do is edit it down into chapters. So all of my efforts have been focussed on finishing that up. :) **

**Who's looking forward to Jesse's return next week? I'm actually more apprehensive than anything, it really worries me that they'll kill his character even **_**more**_**.**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: AlexisLovesGlee, likewow5556, dazzledpixie88, auheas23, Kkaty, StridingFreedom, mistressamy, TVHollywoodDiva, Soyli Oliveira, eternallystberry, RandyFan20, and BestofLuckJo! **

**You guys should go and check out eternallystberry's stories because she is an awesome writer and puts up with me nagging her with ideas all the time! **

**If you enjoyed please leave a review, reviews make me update faster! **

**Tell me what you think of Aunt Veronica ;)**

**~Ray **

**xxx**


	43. Chapter 42

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**This chapter is dedicated to CupcakeQueen23 (awakemysoullittlelionman on tumblr) because she sent me this awesome pick-me-up song on tumblr to get through some editing I was doing. :)**

**xxx**

She awoke suddenly, startling out of bed, her eyes opening wide. There was the sound of raised voices downstairs and, as she blinked blearily and glanced around, she recognised that there were _two _voices. The first was obviously her aunt, the high, piercing sound easily recognisable, but she realised, with a relieved start, that the other voice, deeper and far angrier, was her papa.

Stumbling out of bed and across her room to the door, she became vaguely aware of the stiffness of her cheeks and her pounding head and remembered that she had been crying when she fell asleep. Hesitated at the top of the stairs, she listened as her papa and her aunt argued, eavesdropping unabashedly.

"How could you allow this to happen?" Her aunt's voice, loud and sharp, rose easily through the house, carrying upstairs. "The child is _ruined _now!"

"How dare you say that my child is ruined? Rachel is perfect and I will not have you in my house, upsetting her." Her papa's voice was lower, so she had to strain to hear it, but it was far more chilling and she felt a shiver run down her spine at the sound of it.

"That child was always far from perfect, but even more so now." Rachel stifled a sob at her aunt's harsh words. "Maybe if you, as parents, had _done _something."

Hiram began to protest, but she cut through him, impatiently. "I know she was raped. Does that make a difference? You should have got rid of the abomination the second you knew."

There was a long, tense silence, before Hiram finally said; his voice almost too low for Rachel to hear it. "Get out."

"I _beg your-_"

"Get out!" His voice was so loud that Rachel, who had sunk down to perch on the top step, flinched back slightly. "Get out of my house!"

"You can't just…"

"I can and I will." Hiram's voice was steely. "This is my house too. You may be my partner's sister, but I've put up with you for far too long now. Get your things and leave."

"Leroy will hear of this!"

"Leroy won't give a damn!" Her papa's voice rose to a shout now and she scrambled to her feet as her aunt and papa rounded the corner to see her sat on the top step.

Her papa looked so angry that she almost turned and fled. She had never seen him so… so _livid_ before in her entire life. His eyes were even darker than usual, his jaw filled with an angry tension that melted away when he saw his daughter's small form at the top of the stairs.

"Rachel," He held his arms out and she stumbled down the stairs and into his embrace, cringing away as her aunt stormed past her, her angry footsteps muffled by the carpet.

Hiram ignored her, leading Rachel into the kitchen and sitting on a chair, pulling her onto his lap as he had done when she was young. Hugging her closely he murmured.

"Are you okay honey?"

Sniffling, Rachel nodded into the crook of his neck, hastily wiping at her eyes.

"She's an evil woman Rachel. Anything she said to you was a complete lie, you know that don't you?"

"She said I was an ignorant failure." Rachel confessed softly, her voice muffled by the soft material of her papa's blue cardigan.

His arms tightened around her, holding her closely and sucking in a shuddering breath to try and calm himself. "She's _wrong_. So wrong."

"She said that Jesse was scum… and worthless." Rachel felt and heard the sob that caught in her throat as she tried to push away the tears that threatened to spill over her cheeks; she had cried enough today.

"It's a lie," Hiram soothed her, shifting slightly. "Jesse is a good boyfriend. I would never trust anyone with your care as I trust him."

"She… she wanted to… to get rid of… of the… the baby." Rachel whispered; her voice breaking as she buried herself back into her papa's embrace, breathing in his comforting scent of spices and old books.

"I will _never _let anyone hurt the baby, Rachel." Hiram's arms tightened and he felt a shudder run through his daughter's petite frame.

"I believe you." She murmured finally.

"What else did she do Rachel?" Hiram ran his hand gently down her cheek, frowning as she flinched away slightly. "Rachel?"

"She hit me," Rachel admitted softly, raising a hand to brush experimentally against the tender skin and flinching away as she felt the pain shoot through it.

"She _hit _you?" His voice was incredulous as he gazed down at her and Rachel nodded once, her lip coming between her teeth nervously.

Hiram took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose to try and push away the anger he felt building inside him.

"This," The steely voice from the doorway made both Rachel and her papa look up. Veronica stood, a little dishevelled and extremely angry, watching them. "This is the problem. You mollycoddle the girl. She needs some discipline."

Pushing Rachel gently from his lap, Hiram rose and took a few menacing steps towards Veronica, his hands curling into fists as he approached.

"Get out of my house." His voice was low again and dangerous; even Veronica flinched away a little. "Get out and never come back."

"I won't, believe me." Veronica turned on her heel and Rachel came to peer around her papa as the woman took hold of her bags, turning one last time to look straight at Rachel, her eyes piercing into the brunette. "Don't expect to get anywhere in this life with that attitude. You're going to fail."

And with a final slam of the door, she was gone.

**Xxx**

When Jesse arrived home the next day, he felt refreshed, happy and thoroughly content with life. His weekend with his sister had gone better than first anticipated and both were glad to learn that they actually had quite a large amount in common. The two unlikely siblings enjoyed a pleasant day out together, so much so that Jesse had switched off his cell so as not to interrupt their time.

Remembering this, he took a moment to check his phone before he drive to the Berry household on Monday morning. Frowning a little in concern, he noticed that there were two missed calls from Rachel and wondered what could have possibly happened that meant his girlfriend had had to call him. He knew that she had been eager for the union of him and his sister and had promised to stay out of contact with him this weekend, despite his protests, for fear of disturbing them.

Deciding to ask her during the day, he pulled up at the Berry house, frowning when he didn't spot her on the porch waiting for him, as she usually did.

Clambering out of his Range Rover slowly, he paused at the porch and reached out to ring the doorbell, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the unusual gesture.

Hiram opened the door and gave him a quick smile. "Jesse, hey."

"Hi Mr Berry," Jesse smiled in return and peered past him into the familiar hallway. "Is Rachel ready to go?"

Hiram's brows furrowed in confusion. "She went to school with Kurt, did she not tell you?"

"With Kurt?"

"Yes," Hiram nodded and watched as Jesse's brows crumpled in confusion. Wanting to comfort him, he said, smiling a little. "I think she probably just wanted to get out of the house quickly. You know, after the weekend she's had… Kurt's been a good friend to her."

"Of course," Jesse tried to nod with some sort of certainty, swallowing a little and clearing his suddenly dry throat. "What with the weekend she's had… what exactly happened with that?"

Hiram's brows narrowed as he saw straight through the pretence. "She didn't tell you?"

Jesse shrugged, suddenly embarrassed and glanced away to look at his shoes. "I got a few missed calls, but nothing else. What happened?"

Hiram's expression was a little concerned as he said finally. "I think she should be the one to tell you."

"Mr Berry…" Jesse started, but Hiram shook his head.

"It's up to Rachel, I'm sorry Jesse. I'm sure she'll tell you the minute you get to school." Turning, Hiram pushed the door shut and left Jesse standing on the porch, staring, aghast, at the mahogany wood before him.

Huffing slightly, he turned on one designer clad heel and hurried to his car, making his way towards the familiar school building with an unusual urgency. Pulling into a parking space he jumped out and hurried towards the door, where he could see Mike, Tina and Mercedes gathered. Picking up pace, he stopped beside them, trying to make his smile amiable and open as he asked.

"Hey, have you seen Rachel anywhere?"

"You mean she didn't ride with you?" Mercedes asked, frowning a little.

"No… not today." He was unwilling to go into detail and felt a surge of relief when he heard Mike answer his question.

"I saw her with Kurt a few minutes ago, they were heading inside I think."

Casting the younger boy a grateful smile, he made his apologies and left, peering around the crowds of students in search of his girlfriend and hurrying when he spotted two familiar, silky braids ahead of him.

"Rachel," He called, meeting her gaze when she looked up instinctively. Her expression dropped slightly and her eyes narrowed as she turned away from him; he felt a rush of anxiety.

"Hi," She greeted him softly when he arrived at her side, still looking into her locker.

"Hey," He loitered for a moment next to her, unsure of what to do. She normally met him with a smile at least, but for some reason this morning, she couldn't even look him in the eye. "Are you okay? I didn't know you'd be riding with Kurt."

She offered a noncommittal shrug and replied, her tone slightly defensive. "I felt like a change."

"Okay," His voice was careful as he watched her, a new wariness to his gaze as he began to sense how irritable she was. "Just wondering. How was your weekend?"

"Fine." Rachel snapped, slamming the door to her locker shut to punctuate her words and starting down the corridor at a pace that made even him hurry to keep up with her. "How's Krissy?"

"She's fine," Jesse eyed her with confusion from a few paces back. "She said to say hi."

"Great," Rachel stopped abruptly, so much so that he almost ran into her and caught onto the tops of her arms for support. "Well," She stepped firmly out of his grip, still refusing to meet his eyes. "This is my classroom. See you later."

Without another word, she turned and walked into her classroom, allowing the door to shut behind her. Blinking after her, he ran a hand through his hair, pulling at the strands with distress and jumping when he heard a voice behind him.

"It's not you."

Spinning around, he spotted Kurt behind him, holding a patterned binder to his cashmere clad front. Jesse went to speak, but the boy held out a hand to stop him, saying, calmly.

"Well, it's not all you."

"What's happened?" Jesse's voice was low with concern and he thought he saw a small smile flash over Kurt's face.

"Walk with me," Kurt held out his hand in a showy flourish and started down the corridor. Following him, Jesse looked down expectantly.

"Her aunt came round this weekend, you know that." Kurt began, looking ahead. "She found out about the baby."

"She what?" Jesse's voice rose, attracting the attention of a few of the students around them and Kurt frowned, tugging on the sleeve of his sweater and hissing.

"Keep your voice down! She pretty obviously doesn't want word getting out."

"Sorry," Jesse muttered unapologetically and continued in a slightly lower voice. "What happened?"

"We were on the phone and her aunt heard us talking about the baby," Kurt seemed regretful as he replied and then said. "She… didn't take it well."

"How so?" Jesse demanded.

"Well her aunt yelled… _a lot_." Kurt flinched a little. "Said she was useless and a waste of space. Then she went on to insult _you_. She seemed to think the child was yours, from what I gather anyway. Apparently that's where things became… heated."

Jesse pulled him to a stop, turning the boy to face him. "Then what?" His asked, lowly.

"Her aunt said that she wanted her shipped off the some British boarding school… but then she said that she was going to get Rachel to get rid of the baby."

"She _what_?" Jesse's voice rose even louder this time but, despite Kurt's hissed warnings, he scowled angrily and slammed his fist against his forehead, scrubbing at it furiously.

"Then she hit her." Kurt's voice was low and Jesse could hear the anger it in.

"She _hit_ her?" Jesse spluttered, his eyes wide with disbelief.

Nodding, Kurt explained. "Rachel was so upset. She tried to call you apparently… but you didn't pick up."

"Ugh!" Jesse's scowl deepened. "She said she wasn't going to call and to keep my phone off once I met up with Krissy early Saturday morning, so I _did._"

Kurt raised his eyebrows, but didn't comment, glancing anxiously down the corridors, which had gradually thinned out during their conversation. "I have to go Jesse, I'll be late. Listen," Kurt placed a hesitantly comforting hand against his arm. "Don't go to class okay. Go somewhere else for this period, the library or somewhere. Cool off."

Jesse managed to nod, his teeth clenched so hard that his jaw throbbed and Kurt nodded once, watching him with concern for a second, before hurrying away to his class.

Turning, Jesse strode away, his whole body tensed so hard that he could feel his muscles trembling. His head ached with the tension and his fists clenched into two tight balls. Stepping out of the school doors, he leant against the wall and took in a deep breath of air, trying to cool himself enough that he could think properly. It wasn't happening though. Every time he got his head clear he could feel the thoughts returning, buzzing angrily like bees and clogging up his mind with a red mist that made anger build up within him.

_How dare she_? How dare she talk to Rachel like that? Who did she think she was? Who gave her even an ounce of authority over the situation?

He tried to suppress the need to find the woman and scream at her, but the feelings weren't going. Clenching his jaw angrily, he turned and slammed his already aching fist into the wall beside him, moaning out with fury.

Forcing himself to focus on Rachel, he found his thoughts finally clearing and he took a moment to try and regain some semblance of calm before taking a deep breath and starting towards the library to study while he waited for his girlfriend.

He left the library about five minutes before the bell, so he got to her class in plenty of time and was waiting, leaning against a wall, his dark eyes troubled as he watched students file out, chatting rowdily.

"Rachel," His voice wasn't raised, but the power behind it meant that it carried easily to the girl once she left the room and her gaze found him immediately through the crowd. Walking slowly towards him, she glanced up, her eyes wary as he took her hand without a word and pulled her gently, further away from the crowds and towards a more secluded part of the school. Once they reached an empty classroom, he ushered her in and shut the door firmly behind them.

Moving slowly, he walked towards her and ran a tender thumb down the soft skin of her cheek, smiling at the warmth he felt there.

"Kurt told me."

Rachel bristled a little and said. "He had no right."

"Someone had to tell me," Jesse argued, softly but then said, his expression becoming more tender. "I'm so sorry."

Rachel sighed, her hands wrapping around her middle to hold her stomach. "She wanted to… to get rid…"Her voice broke over a sob and Jesse longed to reach out and pull her into his arms. Instead, he placed his hand over hers, relieved when she didn't pull away.

"I would never let her," He promised, solemnly.

"You weren't there!" Rachel cried, taking a step away from him. His hand fell away from her to hang limply by his side and he sighed, running it through his hair.

"I know," He shook his head. "I'm sorry. I had my phone off all weekend and I didn't check it until this morning."

"I needed you…" A tear escaped her and ran down her cheek, her throat catching over a sob as she sniffed furiously. "I was… so scared… that she'd actually _do it_."

Jesse couldn't resist this time. Stepping forward, he pulled her into his arms, tightening his grip when he felt her body relax into his and running his hand over her hair as she sobbed. He could feel her tears soaking through the thin material of his shirt and he felt his heart twist as a strangled sob escaped her. Murmuring comforting words in her ear he hugged her to him and placed a soft kiss to the crown of her hair.

"I'm sorry." Her voice was muffled by his shirt, but he was unwilling to pull away, so he strained to hear her.

"What for?" He asked, gently.

"For blaming you, for being nasty. It," She hiccoughed and sniffed and then continued. "It wasn't your fault."

"I should have been there," He replied, tentatively, but she shook her head.

"You were with Krissy."

"You mean more to me than she does." He promised her.

"No." Rachel shook her head again, more vehemently this time. "She's your sister. She's _family_. Nothing is more important than family."

He pulled away a little and looked at her intently for a moment. Finally, he said. "You told me once that I could consider you family. Both of you. And I do. There's nothing more important to me than you, Rachel."

Choking back another sob, she hurled herself into his chest again, hugging him close.

"I don't deserve you," She whispered, too low for him to hear.

"I love you," He told her, resting his cheek on her head and sighing in relief when he heard her return the sentiment.

**Xxx**

**Okay, so I don't know if I mentioned my exams? Just skip this bit if I did. But if I didn't well… I kind of am meant to be studying right now. Not writing. Unfortunately my muse won't get the message and I keep writing my new St Berry story. **

**My bad.**

**That new story should be out soon I think! I'm past half way through writing it and I have over 100 pages done so it's coming on pretty good. However, it does mean that this story is suffering because I haven't written any in a along time as I try to finish my new story. **

**Anyway- some fluffy stuff in this new chapter- yay! A lot of you wanted to know where Hiram was in the last chapter- I hope he redeemed himself to you in this chapter :) **

**Thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter: CupcakeQueen23, RandyFan20, loveisalifetimeproject, dazzledpixie88, thankthatstar, Karissa, Likewow5556, TVHollywoodDiva, MilloinPages, Soyli Oliveira, auhaes23, eternallystberry, BroadwayFreak5357 (haha, welcome back!), , mistressamy, sawyer and BestofLuckJo. **

**I think you guys should know that I have typed some of your pennames so many times that I think Microsoft Word has added you to the dictionary as I no longer get told to spell check you! So thank you! **

**Did I mention that you should go and read eternallystberry's stuff because she is awesome? Yes? Well I'm saying it again. **

**Also, I can't decide whether I want to watch the new glee episode or not. I'm kind of terrified of how I'll feel after it's over. Sigh. **

**Okay, shoot me a review with your thoughts guys :)**

**Love**

**~Ray **

**xxx**


	44. Chapter 43

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

Giselle's illusive phone calls and texts suddenly stopped. Although he was relieved at first, after a day or so of silence Jesse began to feel a little uncomfortable. Something wasn't right. Giselle had to be up to something. All he could do was wait and find out what it was.

It was Thursday and Jesse was sat in the choir room with the rest of New Directions. Mr Schuster had just left to take a phone call, which was usually a cue for the members of New Directions to fall into mindless chatter that Rachel always tried to suppress, saying that they should use every possible moment to rehearse.

At that very moment, however, Rachel was involved in a heated argument with Santana across the piano and he wasn't about to get involved, knowing perfectly well that Rachel was able to hold her ground alone. Turning to talk to Puck, Jesse was surprised at the unusually hush that had fallen. Mercedes, Tina and Artie were sat, talking in low voices and glancing towards him every so often. Kurt and Quinn were talking in low, worried tones and everyone else, with the exception of Rachel and Santana, were sat in an unusual tension.

Frowning, Jesse turned to ask Puck what was going on, but was cut off by Santana's shout.

"Oh my God, Berry will you just _shut up_? You don't know _anything_!"

Rachel bristled. "I'll have you know that I do!"

"You obviously don't! Everyone else knows what's going on, everyone but you. St James is playing you! He only came here on Coach Corcoran, the coach of Vocal Adrenaline's, orders so that he could spy on you. Corcoran sent him over here to trick you and, by the way, she's your mother, but St James knew about that the whole time and he's just been leading you on so that he can crush the competition!"

A deathly silence fell through the room, and Santana, breathing heavily, glanced around for support.

"I don't believe you…" Rachel said, finally, her voice low and fearful.

"Everyone knows, don't we?" Santana motioned to the rest of the glee club, who nodded slowly.

"It's true Rachel," Artie's voice was low from his position at the side of the room.

"Everyone knows." Tina glanced back at Mercedes and Jesse realised that this is what the three had been talking about.

"We all got the same text." Mike put in, offering his phone to Rachel, who shook her head, ignoring the device and taking another faltering step back.

Her gaze fell on Jesse, who shook his head, standing up and moving towards her.

"Rachel…"

"He's playing you." Finn cut through Jesse and, emitting a choked sob, Rachel turned on her heel and hurried from the room, slamming the door behind her.

Jesse scowled at the members of New Directions and spat a quick. "It's not true!" Before following Rachel outside.

"Rachel." He reached for her, moving towards where she was stood by the lockers.

"What's going on?" Rachel demanded, her voice breaking over the words. "What are they talking about Jesse? Is it true?"

"Of course not!" He took another step forwards.

"Well then how do they all know?" Rachel's voice rose so that she was shouting, her singer's lungs making the words echo through the corridor.

"I don't know!" Against his will, his voice rose too, so that he was shouting at her. "All I know is that it isn't true!"

"Then where have they all got that idea from Jesse? It _has_ to be true if they all know!" She stamped her foot in frustration and at any other time Jesse would have found it adorable, but now it was anything but. "Tell me the truth." Her voice dropped, but it was even angrier in a low tone and Jesse almost cringed at the rage he could hear.

"Okay," Jesse held out his hands in a peaceful motion, trying to calm her. "Coach Corcoran didn't tell me to come. I came of my own accord when I knew that you were pregnant."

Rachel seemed to relax a little, but she crossed her arms defensively and asked. "Are you spying for her?"

"No," Jesse shook his head passionately. "No! She asked me to, she came to me after I'd been here a few minutes and said that she wanted me to go back to Vocal Adrenaline, but I wouldn't leave." He eyed her cautiously for a second and then said, slowly. "She wants us both on Vocal Adrenaline. She knows that together we would be unstoppable. I told her no but she kept pressuring us… pressuring _you_, although you didn't know it."

Understanding clouded Rachel's face and she nodded slowly. "When we saw her in the restaurant… that's why you were so angry."

"I was so worried about what she'd do. I didn't want you to feel like you had to leave New Directions. And then… then I found out."

"Found out what?"

"That she's your mother."

Her jaw dropped and she demanded, "you knew? You _knew_ and you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't know what to do. I figured it was your decision. We met up a few times and… even when you expressed a desire to meet your mother… I didn't know what to do Rachel! Your fathers obviously didn't want you to know and I didn't want to go against them. I was worried about what Shelby would do!"

"I _needed _my mother then." There were tears gathering in her eyes again and he longed to reach for her and comfort her. "You _knew_ how much I needed a mother then… and you didn't tell me! What if I'd never found that file? Would you still know now and I'd still be in the dark? That my mother and my boyfriend were in cahoots and I didn't even _know_ one of them!"

"I thought I was doing what was best for you!" Jesse cried, anger bubbling through him. "I was trying to protect you!"

"You didn't tell me!" She screamed and Jesse flinched as her voice ripped through the octaves. "You didn't tell me that you knew who my mother was! I wouldn't know now if you'd had it your way! I'd be alone!"

"And you would never have gone to New York!" He exploded, striding forward until she was pressed into the bank of lockers behind her. "She would never have upset you and you would never have been hit by that cab!"

"Don't you _dare_ blame that on my mother!" She shouted, her fists clenching. "That was _not _her fault!"

"It's my fault then is it?" He scowled. "My fault, of course, I should have known."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She demanded, stepping forward.

"It's always my fault isn't it? It's always my fault because I'm with Krissy, my _sister_!"

"I have _nothing_ against you going out with Krissy!" She cried and for a moment she was so livid he thought she was going to hit him. "I have only supported you."

"But every time something happens when I'm gone it's my fault because I'm not there for you! You could go to your _mother _Rachel!"

"You mean the one that _you_ didn't want me to meet? I encourage you to meet your sister Jesse, but when it comes to my mother, you do everything in your power to keep me away from her!"

"You mean the mother you haven't talked to since you went to New York?" She seemed almost stunned by his words and he sighed, his anger suddenly crumbling as he saw the hurt on her face. "I'm sorry for trying to protect you Rachel. You know I didn't mean to hurt you…"

"I don't know anything any more." Her reply was soft and he looked at her, shocked. "I don't know you… I don't know who I can trust…"

"Rachel, please…" He reached for her again, but she pushed his hand away.

"No… I have to go and… figure things out… just… don't come near me Jesse. Not until I know I can trust you again."

"I always thought you'd trust me." He said finally, a strange sort of resignation flowing through him. "I can't believe you'd just let your faith in me shatter like that… I thought that what we had meant more than that."

"So did I." She whispered and turned away, leaving him alone in the corridor.

Leaning back, he let his head fall back against the lockers painfully and hastily brushed away a lingering tear. After a long moment of thoughtless silence, he went into the choir room, where the members of New Directions were gathered in the centre of the room, watching him.

"I hope you had a good show." He spat, reaching for his coat and throwing it on. "I'm sure you heard everything, so you should know that you were all completely wrong."

"Jesse…" Kurt stepped forward and reached of him, his expression full of concern. "Please..."

"No." Jesse cut through him and shook his head. "No Kurt."

"How could you do that to Rachel?" Finn demanded and suddenly, Jesse felt his precious patience snap.

"Shut up you beanstalk." Jesse took a menacing step forward and felt a sick satisfaction when the taller boy flinched away. "You were obviously not listening, but I'm sure some of your less ignorant peers will be happy to inform of everything they just eavesdropped on. To give you the basic run down, I did absolutely nothing to Rachel, other than try to protect her, but you and your idiotic friends made that a pretty fruitless task didn't you?"

Turning on his heel, he executed a picture perfect storm out before any more tears could fall.

**Xxx**

Leroy Berry could tell something was wrong. He was on one of his rare afternoons off and, as Hiram had pointed out several times, should be relaxing with a good book or some mindless TV, but instead he was sat in the kitchen, watching his husband cook and restlessly reading the newspaper.

"What's wrong with you?" Hiram frowned as he passed him, concerned and began chopping some mushrooms.

"What do you mean?" Leroy asked, absently.

"You're tense," Hiram replied, fetching an onion and taking the opportunity to run a gentle hand over his shoulders.

"I'm not." Leroy lied, shrugging uncomfortably.

"You are," Hiram argued, peeling the onion. "You know it and I know it."

"I've got a bad feeling." Leroy confessed, finally and Hiram raised an eyebrow at him.

"A bad feeling?" He repeated, sceptically. "About what exactly?"

"I don't know… but something's wrong."

"You're so superstitious," Hiram laughed and Leroy rolled his eyes.

"It was one time okay? I don't like walking under ladders is all… Someone could fall on you!"

"Did a black cat cross your path today?" Hiram joked, teasing him lightly.

"Oh shut up…" They were cut off by the sound of the door slamming and, glancing at each other, Leroy watched as Hiram's expression twisted with concern, a mirror of what he expected his looked like.

"Rachel? Honey?" Hiram called out tentatively.

Rachel's weeping form appeared in the doorway, cracked sobs coming from her and almost immediately she was within Leroy's arms and Leroy was holding her close, cradling her in his arms and rocking her back and forth, exchanging worried glances with Hiram over the top of her head.

"Sweetie," Leroy sat back down, bringing her onto his lap like he did when she was young and passed her a tissue, which she took gratefully. After a few minutes, the trembling, sobbing girl in his arms seemed to gain a little control and sniffed, wiping at her eyes.

"Rachel? Are you okay honey? Are you hurt?" Hiram leant forward and stroked her hair gently.

Rachel managed to shake her head, still sobbing and Leroy heard Hiram's exhalation of relief.

"What's happened Rachel? Can you tell us?" Leroy asked, softly.

"Jesse…" The girl choked out from between sobs.

"What about Jesse? Is he hurt?" Leroy prompted, gently.

"He _lied_ to me…" She cried, her tear slowing.

"Lied to you?" Hiram frowned, unsurely.

"He _knew_!"

"Knew what hon?" Leroy stroked her back gently, hoping to encourage her.

"Knew about Shelby!" Rachel replied.

Both parents stiffened at the mention of Rachel's surrogate mother. After the fiasco referred to as New York both men were still angry with Shelby.

"What did Jesse know?"

"That Shelby was my mother! He knew all the time and he never told me, even when I told him that I wanted-" She cut herself off suddenly, glancing at them with her trademark guilty expression.

"What did you want poppet?" Leroy asked and Hiram added, gently.

"You can tell us anything honey, we won't be mad."

Rachel eyed them, her expression filled with worry as she replied, ever so slowly. "I… I wanted to meet my mom. It wasn't that I didn't want you," She hastened to add, reaching for Leroy in her concern and holding him tightly. "I did… I _do_. I just felt like having a woman around to talk to about… things…would be easier. Turns out it wasn't."

"And how does Jesse fit in with this?" Leroy asked.

"He knew!" Rachel's voice rose passionately again. "He _knew_ that Shelby was my mother. She'd told him and she'd wanted to meet me and he didn't tell me because he's selfish and he _lied _to me! I can't trust him now, not after that and everything he said to me in the corridor. I don't know who he is."

"Rachel, what exactly is it that Jesse's done that's made you feel… like this?"

"He lied to me. Everything was a lie." She told him, dramatically and Hiram and Leroy exchanged a knowing glance.

"Sweetie," Leroy started, shifting a little. "I know it may feel like Jesse has betrayed you but… when you're a lawyer you get a sense from people, about whether they're good or bad, whether they're lying or telling the truth. It's important and good lawyers always have a good sense of truth."

"Yours must be great daddy, you're a wonderful lawyer," Rachel told him, automatically.

"I like to think it's quite good." Leroy shrugged, modestly and then fixed her with a stern look. "And I must say Rachel, I don't think Jesse is a bad person. His intentions with you were always the best I'm sure. From the moment he found in that alleyway," Rachel flinched at the reminder and Leroy tightened him arms around her, comfortingly. "His intentions have always been good."

"But how…" Rachel started to protest but Leroy interrupted her and said, gently.

"Just listen."

"He was trying to protect you Rachel." Hiram said, softly and Rachel looked up at her papa with surprise. "He was trying to protect you from Shelby. He had good intentions, I'm sure. I can't confess to knowing everything, but I like to think I know Jesse pretty well by now and I'm certain he wouldn't set out to purposefully hurt you."

Rachel bit her lip and glanced away, unable to look into her papa's kindly gaze without being overcome by guilt.

"I just… I don't know who to trust any more, papa. I thought we were totally open with each other and honest. But then… to find out about this…" She shook her head, unhappily.

""I know you're hurt by this Rachel, but I think you need to look at all of the evidence before you go around pointing fingers and casting the blame on people." Leroy told her, firmly and Rachel nodded, slowly.

"Tomorrow." She said finally. "Tomorrow I'll go and see Shelby. I want the truth."

**Xxx**

**I warned you. I told you it was going to get bumpy. Well, yeah this is the start. **

**While we're here, I've decided to give out a little preview for my new fic, because there's been a pretty big interest over on tumblr so I'm thinking of posting soon. This could change, be warned, but I want you guys to know that I'm still writing for you so…**

**Xxx**

She could hear her sharp breaths echoing loudly around her. The cold earth below her hands and legs was seeping slowly through her clothing and into her bones, making her shiver lightly. Her heart was pounding and she could hear the blood rushing through her ears as she tried to breathe deeply, her eyes straining through the dark undergrowth.

There was the occasional beam of bright white light from the circling helicopter, but fortunately the thick bushes made her almost invisible.

"Rachel." The hiss made her jump and she clapped a hand over her mouth before any sound could escape her.

Turning, she spotted Santana, crouching behind her and shuffled slowly towards her, despite her warnings to stop.

"San, what's going on?" Even her softest whisper seemed to echo over the chopping blades of the helicopter and the shouts of soldiers.

"Shut up you idiot," Santana snapped, quietly. "Stay quiet."

Obediently, Rachel pressed her lips together, staying silent. Her back ached from hours of being crouched in the same position, but it was better than being caught. _Anything_ was better than being caught.

A flash of light ran over them again and Rachel squeezed her eyes shut so that they wouldn't see the whites of her eyes looking up at them. As the helicopter passed a sharp cry came from the clearing a head of them. It was a cry that Rachel would recognize anywhere. Shooting up, she made it four paces before Santana's harsh grip stopped her, pulling her back.

"Stop Rachel!"

From their new position they could see the clearing well. A figure dressed in dark clothes was being hauled, struggling, by two armed soldiers. Her hood fell and Rachel felt a hand clap over her mouth before she could scream for her mother.

"Don't do it Rachel," Santana's whispered warning barely registered as she watched her mother be pushed to the ground in front of a man who glared down at her. After what seemed like hours, he kicked at her, urging her up and she staggered to her feet.

It was only as the man grabbed her mother and pushed his huge gun against her face that Rachel felt the rush of adrenaline that she needed and broke from Santana's grasp with a loud cry.

"Mama- no!" Bursting form the undergrowth, she tried to run towards her mother, but froze in her tracks when she saw a circle of guns pointed her way.

"Let her go!" Her sob went unheard as the men laughed with each other, beginning to approach her when a sharp bang sounded from the other side of the clearing, making her jump as she saw Puck and Finn emerge, firing randomly at the men and making them scatter their positions, unprepared. Her mother bit hard on the arm that was holding her and managed to struggle out of his grip, running towards Rachel during the mayhem.

"Run!" Was her screamed command and Rachel did as she was told, her feet pounding against the dry earth beneath her.

It seemed barely seconds before strong arms caught her, pulling her close and roughly wrapping her arms behind her back, a sob ripping its way from her throat as she felt herself pulled into the throngs of the soldiers surrounding her.

"Mama!" The hoarse cry echoed back to where her mother stood watching her, her expression heartbroken as Puck pulled her away before she was swallowed by the darkness.

**Xxx**

**So yeah, that's the beginning of my new fic. Jesse is in it, I promise, he just isn't in the very beginning part. **

**Tell me what you think!**

**Also, how amazing was the new glee episode? Jesse is so obviously in love with Rachel, I just wanted to squeal every time he came on screen. And they talked and flirted and I floundered around incoherently. Ahhh, it was great. **

**Thank you to those who did review the last chapter: ber1719, dazzledpixie88, Likewow5556, auhaes23, MissRe, Soyli Oliveria, RandyFan20, Autumn DeMayne, blk0912, TVHollywoodDiva and BroadwayFreak5357. **

**So please leave a review, this is the first time that I've actually posted anything from that new fic and I want to know what you all think of it.**

**Love **

**Ray **

**xxx**


	45. Chapter 44

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

Rachel managed to avoid Jesse until third period the next day. He seemed to sense that she didn't want to see him and didn't initiate any conversations when they passed each other, although she did catch him looking a few times. Others didn't give her the same courtesy, namely: Finn. He hung around her all day, shadowing her footsteps, asking her questions she didn't particularly want to answer and making continuous jabs at Jesse.

Fortunately Kurt and Quinn remained close over the course of the day and sent Finn such awful glares that he soon scurried away with his tail between his legs.

She spent her free period in the library and it was there that she met Jesse, who looked up at her, shocked, from where he was putting a book away.

"W-What are you doing here?" Rachel asked, taking a step away. "I thought you had History?"

"Free study this period." Jesse returned, lowly, pushing the book back and turning to face her.

She was surprised by what she saw. Every time he looked at her, his face was always open and free for her to read as if it were an open book, but now it was guarded. He had such an air of distrust and discontent that she felt her heart twist a little at his expression. There were dark bags beneath his eyes that told of a sleepless night and she wondered if he could see how red her own eyes were. She longed to reach out to him and comfort him, but knew she could not, instead clenching her hands together behind her back to keep herself from going to him.

"How are you?" He asked finally, breaking the silence between them.

She shrugged noncommittally and he nodded, glancing away again as the silence fell once again.

"That text," His voice was low. "I figured out who sent it. It was Giselle." He shifted from one foot to another and glanced at her.

"I'm going to talk to Shelby tonight," She told him, finally and he sighed, nodding with resignation.

"I thought you would." He fixed her with a strange expression, a mixture of different emotions warring with each other for dominance; anger, resignation and a deep mix of despair and unhappiness. "You know what? I just… I really wish you didn't have to."

Turning on his heel, he left her standing there before she could ask him what his cryptic statement meant.

**Xxx**

If New Directions was still in rehearsal, Vocal Adrenaline had to be, so Rachel skipped glee club to make the journey across to Carmel. Pulling up outside in the parking lot, she clambered out and made her way into the school, bypassing the nervy looking receptionist with the words 'I'm here to see my mother' and leaving her stunned behind the desk.

Striding through the deserted corridors she made her way to where she knew, instinctively, the auditorium was, she pushed the door open and slipped inside. To her surprise there was no music playing, but as she edged closer, she began to hear the recognisable voice of her mother from the stage. It was lit up by the house lights and Shelby was stood in the middle of the stage, talking to the members of her glee club who were sat in the first few rows of the auditorium, listening to her.

"You want to win don't you? So you've got to put the effort in. Stanley is trying to teach you choreography here and he doesn't need your back chat. That's right Jones, I'm looking at you." Shelby fixed one of the group with a piercing stare and Rachel moved forward slowly, not realising when a girl from the club spotted her.

"_Excuse me!_" The girl glared at her, standing quickly. "This is a closed rehearsal!"

Shelby looked up and caught sight of Rachel, her eyes widening. "Rachel? What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you." Rachel's lips thinned out into a tight line as she stared up at her mother.

"We're in the middle of a rehearsal. How dare you come in here?" Rachel's eyebrows narrowed when she caught sight of the familiar figure of Giselle.

"Don't even speak to me," Rachel took a threatening step towards her, anger bubbling through her as she remembered Jesse's words in the library earlier. "You are despicable and I will deal with you later."

"Oh, I'm so scared." Giselle rolled her eyes and Rachel started to speak, but was cut off by Shelby's icy tones.

"Giselle, quiet."

Giselle turned confused eyes on her coach, but did as she said, sitting heavily.

"Rachel, what are you doing here?" Shelby frowned in her direction and Rachel replied, her voice still hard was barely suppressed fury.

"As I told you earlier, I need to talk to you."

"Now? Can't it wait…?"

"No."

Shelby blinked at her in surprise, but nodded slowly, climbing down the steps to join her daughter.

"Rehearsals end early tonight," She told the group, who looked at her, indignation etched on every face, none of them daring to speak up. "Go home."

After a moment's pause the members of Vocal Adrenaline slowly obeyed their coach's order, gathering their things in a gradual flurry of movement. Shelby didn't wait to see if her directions were followed through, but left them and lead Rachel towards her office with firm, purposeful strides. Shutting the door behind them Shelby let the blinds on the windows fall down and sat herself in her chair, gesturing for Rachel to take the seat opposite her.

"What's wrong Rachel? I haven't seen you since… well… since that day you came to my house. What happened after that? I haven't heard from you in weeks." Shelby's obvious concern made her bristle and she bit her lip to try and conceal her anger.

"I was in an accident." Rachel replied blandly, but talked over Shelby's worried words, saying dismissively. "I'm fine… I mean… it was quite an ordeal obviously, but I'm fine. I wanted to ask you, about something else."

"What is it?" Shelby leant back in her seat, waiting with interest.

"I need the truth," Rachel swallowed nervously against her dry throat.

"Truth?" Shelby's brows quirked curiously. "About what?"

"Jesse told me about you two meeting. Before I knew you were my mother you met with him and tried to make him join Vocal Adrenaline."

Shelby's expression was set and completely unreadable, an unfamiliar expression for Rachel, who wore her heart on her sleeve. "Did Jesse tell you this? I have to say I didn't expect him to be stoop so low, I thought that he would at least…"

"Don't lie!" Rachel cried, cutting through her. "I know! Why can't you just tell me the truth for once?"

"What's that meant to mean?" Shelby demanded, leaning forward. "I've never been anything but truthful towards you Rachel."

"No," Rachel shook her head, her hand going up to rub her eyes in distress. "No, that's not true. I _know_ Shelby. I know that you talked to Jesse and I know that you told him that you were my mother and tried to push yourself into my life! What if I hadn't wanted a mother?"

"You would have wanted me," Shelby stated, more confidently than she felt. "You would always have wanted me."

"You don't know that!" Rachel shouted, stamping her Mary-Jane clad foot onto the plush carpet of Shelby's office. "Just tell me the truth!"

Shelby watched her for a moment and then, finally, gestured to the chair in front of her. "Sit down."

Rachel did as she said slowly, her expression wary as she seated herself in the same seat that her choir master and boyfriend had occupied. "The truth," She reiterated, once she was sat and Shelby nodded.

"I'm going to tell you everything."

Settling back into the seat, Rachel listening as Shelby explained how she had come to be Rachel's surrogate, telling her of her mother's anger when she left for New York, her money problems, her mother's cancer and how, when she got back to Ohio, Hiram and Leroy had offered her enough money to tide her over and pay off her bills.

"I never expected to love you Rachel," Shelby sighed, heavily. "And maybe that makes me a bad person… a bad _mother_… but that's how it was and there's nothing I can do to change it. But when I saw you, your little face all scrunched up and crying… in that moment I loved you more than anyone has ever loved anything. This little girl, my _child_… my daughter. I couldn't just let you go. So I waited and I watched… I remember seeing articles written about you whenever you won any singing competitions and I was _so _proud of you."

"What about Jesse?" Rachel asked, her voice low.

"I wanted him back on the team, of course, but when it became obvious that you two wouldn't be separated it seemed like the perfect opportunity to get to know you."

"Jesse said… he said you tried to persuade him to get me to join Vocal Adrenaline and leave New Directions. He said you kept pushing the issue."

"I wanted you both, you know you're the best Rachel and I need the best to succeed." Shelby eyed her for a moment and then said. "You could still join, if you wanted. We'd be happy to have you even with in your… situation."

Her eyes drifted down to Rachel's baby bump and Rachel felt a wave of anger flash through her.

"This is not a situation, this is my _child_." She hissed, standing so quickly that the chair almost toppled over behind her.

"Of course, I didn't mean it like that…" Shelby tried to pacify her, standing anxiously. "Please Rachel, sit down, consider my offer. Think how much more time we'd be able to spend together… as mother and daughter."

"No, thank you." Rachel spat the pleasantry out like it physically hurt her and slammed her way out of Shelby's office. She was heading towards the door to the auditorium when she heard the familiar voice from behind her.

"So, St James has been lying to you has he?" Giselle looked unbearably smug as she stepped towards Rachel.

And suddenly Rachel snapped.

Turning, she launched herself on Giselle with an inhuman shriek of fury, pushing the larger girl to the ground and screaming profanities as they grappled on the floor, hitting, kicking and slapping each other furiously.

"Rachel! Giselle!"

Both girls ignored Shelby's shouts until Rachel felt strong, hard arms yanking her away from Giselle, who was crouched on the floor, seething, her curly hair wild and static, like an angry cat.

"Jesse doesn't love you, he _lied _to you, you know it, he knows it and I know it. Face up to the truth little girl."

"Don't talk about him like that!" Rachel cried, Shelby's iron grip keeping her from leaping at the girl. "You know nothing about Jesse and I, nothing! You've just been spreading nasty rumours… _lies_, they're all lies!"

"Rachel," Shelby tried to calm the girl, who she could feel physically trembling in her arms, but Rachel shook her head, pulling herself from her mother's hold and storming away.

**Xxx**

"Jesse?"

Glancing up, the tired boy blinked at the girl before him. In front of him lay three text books, but he couldn't focus on studying, so great was his worry for Rachel. It sat deep within him, like a dead weight, pushing him down as he tried to carry on normally. One thing that was really killing him about the whole ordeal was the realisation that he depended heavily on Rachel in day to day life. Whereas performing had once been his greatest passion, Rachel now held that position and even while he still did enjoy performing, he couldn't become the ferocious machine he was on the Carmel stage here at McKinley. He'd found a new type of passion while performing with her, but with them both gone he had nothing to distract him from his worry apart from the monotony of studying.

"Quinn?" He frowned up at her, rubbing his eyes.

"You don't look good," She observed, frowning slightly and he shrugged noncommittally.

"Don't feel too great to be honest with you." He turned back to his book, determined to get something useful done while he was stuck there.

"Rachel wants to talk to you." His head snapped up and he eyed her cautiously.

"She does?"

"Yes," Quinn began to tidy his book away and fixed him with a firm, but kind gaze. "It'll be okay Jesse, I promise. You go, I'll clear this up."

"Where is she?" Jesse asked, as he stood, trepidation rushing through him.

"In the choir room," She piled the books in her arms as he grabbed his bags and levelled a look at him. "Go on."

Nodding numbly, Jesse did as she said, hurrying through the school until he came to the familiar door of the choir room, bursting through it with quick steps.

Rachel was stood by the piano, reading something, her dark hair creating a dusky halo around her. She was wearing a maternity dress that she'd tried to buy in New York, but he had insisted on paying for and the light material made her skin practically glow.

Coughing lightly to make his presence known, he stepped towards her, pulling the door shut behind him as he eyed her carefully. The moment she saw him her face lit up with a smile and he felt his heart twist at the sight.

"Jesse," She took a step towards him and then hesitated, her lower lip slipping between her teeth nervously.

"Rachel," His voice was guarded, wary, as he eyed her, stepping further into the room, but keeping his distance from her.

"I… how are you?" She stayed by the piano, watching him closely.

He shrugged noncommittally, unsure of how to reply.

"I'm sorry," Her voice was soft and his gaze snapped up to look at her as she shifted from foot to foot, staring down at her shoes. "I should have listened to you. I understand now that you were doing what you thought was right."

His eyes narrowed a little. "And I stand by what I did. It was for you, all of it."

"I know you meant well," Her hand ran up her shoulder to play with a strand of her hair, a nervous habit that he recognised instantly.

"It was the right choice," His voice, while low, was still firm and she glanced up at him, frowning a little for the first time since he'd entered the room.

"Well… you thought it was… at the time."

"No, it was the right decision Rachel. Shelby's a bad influence and your fathers would have told you if they wanted you to know."

"It was my decision," Her voice rose a little as she argued with him and he shut his eyes for a moment, an incredible weariness flushing through him as he recognised the beginning of another row.

"And by telling you, I would have taken the right to choose out of your hands."

"You could have offered me the choice whether to know or not! You could have said 'Rachel, do you want to know or not know?' That's all it would have taken Jesse!"

Shaking his head, he shrugged and said, "Maybe… but I didn't."

"No," She huffed out a long sigh and when she looked at him again her expression had softened. "You didn't. It's behind us now." Slowly, she walked towards him, taking his hands in hers and squeezing them gently. "Let's just try and get past this okay? You know now and that's all that matters."

Gazing at her, Jesse felt something within him twist, another spear of something between anger and resignation flickering through him and he could barely hear himself when he said.

"I'm not sure."

"What?" Her deep brown eyes snapped up to his, confusion and concern evident in their swirling depths.

"I can't… I can't go on like this Rachel," He shook his head and she frowned at him, dropping his hands so abruptly that he felt a jarring pain in his shoulder when they fell to his side.

"What do you mean?" She demanded, taking a faltering step back. "Like what? What's wrong?"

"I just…" He ran his hand through his hair, pulling on the strands so that pain flashed through his skull. "I'm just so _tired _Rachel."

"Tired of what?" Her voice was small, scared. "Of me?"

"No!" He shook his head again, feeling the pain of a pressure headache begin by his eyes. "No… it's just. I never know where I stand with you anymore!"

"What do you mean: 'where you stand'?" She demanded, her voice rising as anger clouded her expression. "You're my boyfriend! I…" Her voice caught in her throat for a moment and then she said, more softly. "I love you."

"I love you too," He flinched a little, frowning with worry. "But just because we love each other doesn't make it easy Rachel!"

A silence fell through the room as they watched each other, until he finally said, softly.

"I don't know where I stand with you. Sometimes you love me and sometimes you can't stand to see the sight of me."

"I've always loved you," Although her voice was low, it was filled with a heavy bitterness and barely concealed anger. "I've never said that I don't love you."

"I know but… you're so hormonal Rache. I know it's not you fault," He hurried to add as she went to interrupt him. "I know that. But… we're both so dramatic that we clash sometimes. I can't stand you not trusting me Rachel."

"I do trust you…"

"No!" His shout cut through her. "You don't! If you did then you wouldn't have felt the need to run around getting confirmation from Shelby! I mean, damn it Rachel, you _know me_. Or at least I thought you did. How can you say you don't trust me? How could you even think that I would do something to hurt you so badly?"

"I just…" Her voice was quivering now and he noticed that she was holding onto the piano, almost as if it was keeping her steady. "I needed confirmation Jesse! I needed to _know_!"

"And hearing me tell you wasn't enough for you?" He demanded, shaking his head. "That's what being in a relationship _means_ Rachel! Trusting your significant other! I would trust you with anything, but you wouldn't trust me!"

"Oh get off your high horse!" Rachel took a step forward, shouting at him. "You didn't trust me enough to tell me that Giselle was texting you!"

"I was trying to _protect you_!"

"I was trying to protect me too!"

"You should trust me to do that for you," His voice dropped slightly. "I don't want to fight like this with you Rachel."

"Then why are you making such a big deal out of it? Why can't we just move on?" She reached out hesitantly, almost as if she was going to touch him, but then she dropped her hand away.

"It is a big deal Rachel," He sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead with the palm of his hand. There was a long silence and then he said, finally, his voice low. "I think we should take a… break."

"A break?" Her voice was barely audible, even in the otherwise quiet choir room. "You're leaving me."

"I can't deal with it Rache," His voice was soft, like hers, more tender than it had been earlier. "All of the worry, the blame. I do love you, but this consistent arguing, it's breaking me down. I don't know from one day to the next whether we're okay or not. I don't know if I can go and visit my family for fear of you taking it the wrong way. I just think that it would be best for us to take… a break."

"No," She was shaking her head before he was even finished. "No, Jesse please… don't _do this_."

"What else would you have me do Rache?" There was an edge of desperation to his tone.

"Anything…" Her voice trailed off into a whisper. "Anything but this, please Jesse."

"Rache… I can't…" He tried to push away the clenching of his throat and the pain that spread through him at the sight of tears on her face.

"I'll do better… please… I _need you_ Jesse." She reached for him but, cringing at the sadness shooting through him, he moved away.

"It's not you! It's me as well… I just need a break Rache. That's all. Just to get myself together." Stepping away, he took in a shuddering breath as he tried to compose himself. If he broke down, he knew he would cave to her pleadings. This was something he knew that he wanted. It hadn't been clear until a few moments ago, but now that he had realised it seemed like the clearest thing in the world. He needed to be away from them, from their relationship, just for a little while. To let them both heal from the strains of the last few months.

"A break," He said finally, his voice soft and there was a firmness in his voice that made Rachel look up. "That's all."

"No… Jesse…" She followed him as he started into the corridor, stopped at the door and shouting to him, her voice cracking. "You said you loved me! I thought that you'd never hurt me like this!"

"I didn't think you would hurt me, either." There was a deep sadness to his voice that made Rachel and those around him flinch. It wasn't loud, but his singer's lungs knew how to project and she could hear him easily. The weariness that was etched into every line of his body was obvious and as he turned to walk away, Rachel slumped against the doorway, her legs refusing to hold her up. Her eyes were blinded by tears so she didn't see when he turned to look at her and the tears that were running down his face.

**Xxx**

**I'm sorry. **

**There is a happy ending, I promise! I'm sorry for the lack of updates recently, exams are just burying me. **

**Thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter: dazzledpixie88, , assgroff, RandyFan20, ber1719, auhaes23, ilovepez, Soyli Oliveira, LTree16, Broadwayfreak5357, , TVHollywoodDiva, StBerry Lover24 and sillystarshine. **

**Shout out to assgroff and saintlina who were so kind on tumblr :)**

**I put a cover on this because otherwise my face comes up on fanfiction and I'm not quite sure if I'm comfortable with that. Tell me if you like it.**

**Reviews make happy endings come faster ;) Just saying. **

**Also- come and talk to me if you want to. You can PM me but I'm more likely to answer sooner if you message me on tumblr (you don't need a login to do it). The link is on my profile page. I'd love to talk to you and I'd hate to think that you guys would be scared of talking to me or anything. **

**Love you all and leave a review :)**

**Love,**

**Ray **

**xxx**


	46. Chapter 45

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

It was Mr Shue who found her in the end. He had popped into the choir room to check some notes before glee club that afternoon and found Rachel bent over herself on her chair, almost convulsing with the force of her sobs. After skating around her for a moment, looking uncertain, he had perched himself on a chair beside her and reached out a hesitant hand to touch her shoulder gently.

"Rachel?" He asked, softly. "What's the matter? Are you hurt?"

She shook her head, although the pain in her chest was ripping through her more and more as each second passed.

"Maybe I should go and get Miss Pillsbury or-"

"Mr Schue?" Quinn's angelic head peered around the doorframe, her ponytail bouncing as she hurried further in. "Rachel!" In a moment she was at the girl's side, cradling her and holding her close, shushing her gently.

"It's okay… whatever it is… it's okay…" Quinn hugged her tightly, holding the smaller girl's shivering frame in her arms, as if she might break. She cast Mr Schue a quizzical glance but was met with only complete confusion.

"Perhaps I should go and get Jesse…" The teacher offered, unsurely and both jumped at the sob that was torn from Rachel, loud and penetrating and _raw_. The girl's trembling heightened and she whimpered lowly into Quinn's shoulder as the sobs increased.

"Kurt, go and get Kurt." Quinn instructed him and, under the younger girl's unusually firm expression, Mr Schue hurried away.

"Rachel," Quinn gently prompted her to stand and take a few staggering steps towards the piano bench, where they could sit next to each other more easily. "Rachel, tell me what happened. Are you hurt?"

Rachel just buried her head further into the crook of Quinn's shoulder and Quinn could feel the warm liquid of her tears trailing across her collarbone. Sighing, she held Rachel close, deciding that the girl was obviously in no position to talk to her.

"Quinn?" Looking up, Quinn gestured to Kurt to come and sit beside Rachel. The boy abandoned his bag to the floor and sat beside them hurriedly, his pale face crumpled in concern. "What happened?" He placed a tentative hand around Rachel's shoulders, rubbing his hand up and down her bare forearm, which had come out in goosebumps.

"I don't know," Quinn had never had a close friendship with the boy beside her, but for now, she would have to work around that. "I found her like this and I'm thinking that we should just let her cry it out."

"Is she ever going to stop?" Kurt eyed Rachel, digging out a handkerchief from his pocket and pressing it into her hands. "Here you go honey."

Rachel mopped at her eyes, her trembling reducing a little as she hiccoughed and spluttered through her tears.

"Rachel?" Quinn glanced down at her. "Are you hurt?"

Rachel shook her head, hiccoughing again and Quinn breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay, then will you tell us what happened? We might be able to help?" Kurt offered quietly.

Rachel nodded slowly, tears still pouring down her face in what seemed to be an endless stream and Quinn knew that she would probably have an awful headache the next day. Reaching into the bag by her feet, she brought out a regulation Cheerios water bottle and passed it to Rachel, who took a few swigs.

Finally, she managed to say, leaning into Kurt as Quinn put her bottle away.

"Jesse… he… he broke up with me."

"He what?" Quinn frowned, moving away and trying to look at Rachel fully. "He _broke up with you_?"

"He said," Her voice was soft and broke occasionally as she spoke. "He said that he couldn't deal with the arguing… all of the worry and the blame. He said that I blamed everything on him! I do not!"

Her two friends were silent and she pulled away to face them indignantly. "I do not!" Sh repeated, scowling at them.

"Well… you don't really like him being around with Krissy," Kurt twisted his hands around each other nervously, eyeing her.

"I have every right! When he leaves me to defend myself _alone_!"

"You can't always expect him to be there Rachel," Quinn argued, a little more strongly and Rachel stood, turning on her heel to face the pair, anger burning in her eyes.

"I just want a good boyfriend! One who's supportive and tells me the truth!"

"Rachel," Kurt's voice was a little harder, dry sarcasm coating his tone beneath the tender concern for his friend. "Jesse is an excellent boyfriend."

"How would you know Kurt?" Rachel demanded, stamping her foot furiously. "You've never had a boyfriend!"

Kurt's mouth fell open at the stinging comment and Quinn rounded on Rachel.

"Rachel! Don't talk to him like that! Jesse is a good boyfriend, you can't blame all of this on him!"

"You're on his side!" The diminutive brunette exploded, glaring at them, her breaths coming short and sharp, her rounded stomach heaving. "You don't care about me! Well I don't need _any _of you! Not you two and not Jesse St James!"

Turning, the girl stormed from the room, the door slamming so hard that it shook the frame.

**Xxx**

Finn Hudson didn't claim to know much about girls. Not about, like, their feelings and stuff anyway. He knew about _girls_ and the sort of things he'd like to do with them, but when it came to the weird and random emotions of a teenage girl, the football player was at a loss.

But when Rachel Berry came marching up to him in the middle of the corridor and kissed him firmly on the lips, leaning back to say "I want _you_ Finn", he wasn't about to question it.

So now, he wasn't quite sure where he stood. He hadn't seen the girl in question since her startling announcement and, as he walked down the corridors of McKinley High School, he didn't quite know if he was single, or taken.

"Finn?" Turning, he smiled a little at his step-brother. Kurt was alright, in a strange sort of way. Sure, he liked dressing in scarves in the summer and Finn could almost always hear some girl singer wailing loudly from his room, but when Finn was sick, Kurt made him waffles and hot milk in bed, so that made him pretty cool in Finn's mind.

"Oh hey dude," Finn addressed the younger boy, looking down at him. "What's up?"

"Have you seen Rachel anywhere?" Kurt shifted his brown, leather satchel on his shoulder, looking anxious.

"Not today no, I saw her yesterday though."

"Oh? When?" Kurt looked up at him, again, his gaze intense.

"Uh, I dunno, after lunch? She was acting… weird. Weirder than normal."

"How so?" Kurt pressed him.

"She asked me out… I think."

"She what?" Kurt burst out, his mouth falling open in shock. "She _did what_? What did you say?"

"Well… I said yeah. Duh." Finn eyed the younger boy curiously.

"What? Finn no! You have to tell her you won't go out with her!"

"Why would I do that?" Finn's mouth quirked a little. "If she's finally got over St. Jerk then I'm gonna totally like, take advantage of that and stuff."

Turning, the older boy strode away before his step-brother could persuade him any more than he already had.

It was quite a while until Finn saw Rachel again and he was surprised to see that she, while still being angry as she was the day before, was a little more subdued and quiet.

"Hey Rache," He approached her slowly through the darkness of the auditorium.

"Hey Finn," She put down the sheet music that she was looking at and walked towards him, climbing down the steps from the stage to join him in the stalls of the auditorium. "I didn't expect to see you here." She shifted from one foot to the other, awkwardly.

"What were you doing?" Finn gestured to the stage that she had just vacated.

"Just looking through a few things for glee club," She waved away his inquiries and looked up at him, her eyes hard and strange, unlike he'd ever seen them before. Everything about her, from the way she was dressed in a dark , reserved, cotton dress, to the hard set of her mouth, were so very un Rachel that Finn was a little wary. He half wished he had listened to what Kurt had had to say because this person in front of him was definitely not the Rachel he knew. "Have you thought about what I said yesterday?"

He looked up at her, unsure and said, slowly, "Well… I… yeah." He managed finally.

"What do you think then?" She moved closer, so that he could smell the soft, girly smell that he automatically associated with her.

"About… you being my girlfriend?" He wasn't quite sure what she was trying to say and he guessed the best way to go about it was to check everything before he jumped to conclusions.

"Yes Finn, and I'd be yours again." She reached out and ran a hand up and down his letterman jacket clad arm, softly.

"You wanna be my girlfriend? You broke up with St James?" He stepped closer, his heart beginning to race at the thought of having her back again… the _look_ on St James' face when he walked back into glee club with her…

"_Yes _Finn." He missed the desperate plea hidden inside her voice and smiled dorkily.

"Okay. I mean- sure! That sounds great!"

She smiled a small smile in return and he faltered for a second.

"So, are you like, my girlfriend now?"

Leaning forward, she pressed her lips firmly against his, her hands gripping his arms hard as she reached up on her tip toes. He embraced her in return, relishing the taste of her again. She didn't taste quite the same as he remembered, but that wasn't about to bother him that much. Not when she was his again.

**Xxx**

Rachel Berry had rarely felt like this before. She'd felt pain before, and anger, definitely anger, But heart break was something she was completely unaccustomed to. Never, not once, had she felt such a terrible, heart wrenching pain as she felt then. It was like someone had ripped a part of her away and there was an awful pit of guilt and shame and anger welling up inside of her. But beneath it all, there was an undercurrent of such a soul searing sadness that she was barely even able to breathe when it overcame her. There were times, late that night and the nights that followed, that she lay in bed in the dead of night with tears pouring down her face. She would fall asleep crying and her cheeks would still be wet when she awoke. Her fathers were at a complete loss. They had no idea what had happened and every time they so much as tried to ask, she clamped up like a clam, refusing to even look at them. Eventually they let it go, but there was no way she could miss the concerned glances they threw her way.

Ignoring the sadness was easier, Rachel realised, when she tried to focus on something else. Namely: her anger. No, anger wasn't strong enough. Fury was more like it. And that was why she had gone back to Finn. She told herself that she had always wanted Finn, that Finn was a safer option than Jesse, that she had really belonged to Finn the whole time. After all, the relationship she had had with Jesse was surely a ruse. Concocted by a mother who refused to support her choices. Shelby must have been responsible for pushing Jesse into her life, despite what they said. She repeated this to herself as she strode through the corridors of McKinley High School.

Word travelled fast and it wasn't long before people began to look at her strangely, whispering to each other as she went past. No one touched her, thankfully, but she could feel the stares and curled in on herself, hoping to ignore them.

Glancing up momentarily, she froze as she caught sight of Jesse, standing beside his locker. She went to turn away quickly, as a flush spread over her cheeks, but he looked up and met her gaze and she felt herself flush deeper, the sad expression in his eyes making her want to curl up in a ball somewhere and cry herself into exhaustion.

"Hey Rache," Distracted, she turned and saw that Finn was stood beside her, grinning. Quickly composing herself, she gave him a weak smile and took hold of his offered hand. A sharp gasp came from behind her and she felt a strange sort of vindictive pleasure flood through her as she walked away from him with Finn's hand held in hers, feeling his stare burning into the back of her neck.

"Hey Finn," She returned his greeting.

"I wanted to talk to you actually Rache," He looked a little awkward and she frowned a little, nodding and following him as he lead her towards the empty locker room. She cringed a little, wrinkling her nose at the smell that lingered even when the football players were not in the room. She allowed herself a little curiosity as she took in the room around her. It was quite light, with red, the school colour, splashed around in various places. At first glance it seemed pretty clean but as she looked closer she spotted the dirt on her floor, the plaster, wet from the showers and, to her disgust, a used condom lying beneath a bench. It occurred to her that if Jesse had wanted to talk he would most likely have taken her to the auditorium, where he knew she was most comfortable, but she pushed the thought aside quickly.

"Sit down," He gestured to the bench beside them and she followed his gaze, wrinkling her nose again when she saw that it was still wet. Slowly, cautiously, she lowered herself down, cupping her stomach with her hand.

"What did you want to talk about?" She expected him to sit beside her, but he stayed on his foot, towering over her in his letterman jacket.

"I'm totally down with us going out again Rache, but I know I'm gonna get some stick from the guys. So I was hoping you could like, you know, cut down on the drama and stuff?"

"What kind of stuff?" Her voice was cautious, unsure.

"You know, the weird stuff. All of the answering questions in class thing and things like that."

"But…" Her brows furrowed.

"And, your clothes… see, I love the owl jumpers and stuff right Rache, but they're kinda conspicuous and stuff, y' know, about the…" He gestured towards her stomach vaguely and she felt a hot flush run through her as she ran her hand protectively over her stomach.

"I'm not trying to hide anything Finn." Her voice was quiet and he shrugged off her protests.

"Well, y' know, just go with something a little like… baggier. And your skirts Rache, they're way too short. I don't want other guys gawping at you."

She blinked up at him in shock and he smiled at her.

"I knew you'd get it, I'm just protecting you."

"_I was trying to protect you!"_

She flinched as the similar words rang through her head.

"You want me to… change my clothes?"

"And other stuff," Hr grinned at her. "Come on Rachel, you know I have a reputation to protect."

"I… okay." She shrugged with resignation.

"Okay, I'll see you soon then." Turning, he strode from the room and left her sitting there. Sighing heavily, she buried her head in her hands and tried to hold back her sobs.

**Xxx**

The next two days of glee rehearsals were noticeably awkward for everyone involved, so much so that even Mr Schue seemed to feel the effect the three students were having on his club. It was like there was a static running between Rachel and Jesse, who sat on opposite sides of the room and barely looked at each other throughout the full hour. Finn seemed pretty oblivious to the goings on although he did shoot a few poorly disguised insults towards Jesse and draw Rachel closer under his arm.

The pair seemed content to ignore each other which didn't suit Mr Schue very well because they were meant to be the leads in his most recent number for Nationals. Being professionals, they still sang and danced perfectly with each other, but they barely looked at each other, exchanging glances and touching only when the choreography deemed it necessary.

It was during a rehearsal, around two thirds of the way through, on Friday afternoon, when the two of them finally cracked. They had been dancing seamlessly when Finn stumbled into Jesse from behind, making him knock into Rachel, forcing him to catch her before she fell.

"Watch where you're going, you oaf." Jesse snapped, scowling at Finn and releasing Rachel quickly.

"Don't talk to me like that," Finn stepped forward, towering over him.

"Why don't you watch it, then I wouldn't need to, would I?" Jesse retaliated, facing up to him firmly.

"What's your problem dude? Jealous maybe?" Finn smiled mockingly and Jesse's hands clenched into fists at his sides.

Before Jesse could reply, Mr Schue jumped hurriedly between them, breaking the silence by saying. "Finn, cool off, Jesse, maybe you need to take a break?"

"Fine," Turning to Rachel, Jesse grabbed her hands as the club dispersed, muttering, throughout the room. "I need to talk to you."

"Let go of her!" Finn turned on him, reaching out as if to tear her away from him, but Rachel stepped out of his reach.

"It's fine Finn," She argued softly and followed Jesse out of the room, where he shut the door firmly and led her down the corridor a little further, away from the peering eyes of New Directions.

"We always seem to end up out here," Jesse's dry comment was quiet and he dropped her wrist once he stopped. She leant back against the wall and regarded him through quiet eyes.

"What did you want me for?"

"What are you doing Rachel?" She bristled at his question, snapping.

"What exactly do you mean?"

"I mean what are you doing?" He observed her quietly and she tried to take hold of her temper, pushing it down.

"Elaborate." She told him, curtly.

"With Finn Rachel, what are you doing with Finn?" His voice rose suddenly and his hand ran through his curls, betraying his stress.

"Finn loves me. _Finn_ wants me." She told him, angrily and he flinched a little.

"Really Rachel, that's what this is about? Petty revenge? I thought you were above that." He snapped, furiously. "We were on a break, Rachel. That not a _break up_. That's a break, to try and give ourselves a _break_."

"_You_ wanted a break, not me." She retorted, bitterly. "I wanted everything to go back to normal but you wouldn't have that! Anyway, I'm with Finn now, so why does it matter?"

"It matters because Finn is bad for you!"

"What?"

"Look at you," He reached out and, before she could pull away, grabbed a handful of the fabric on her long, dark skirt. "And this?" He gestured to her baggy top and cardigan, all in either dark purples or grey. "This isn't _you_ Rachel. This is him. I know for a fact that you hate that whole ensemble."

"I pick my own clothes, thank _you_ very much!" She tore the fabric from his hands.

"_Sure_ you do." The sarcasm in his voice was heavy and made her flinch slightly. "You can't even see your bump, it's like you're ashamed or something."

"I'm not _ashamed_." She bristled indignantly again.

"No, I _know _you're not, which is why this makes no sense! Unless…" He trailed off, looking down at her in complete horror. "Oh my God…"

"What?" She asked, uncertainly.

"_He_ told you to, didn't he? He's the one who's ashamed." His face contorted with fury and he turned, growling out angrily. "I'm going to kill him."

"No, Jesse!" She reached out and grabbed onto his bicep, pulling him back and away from the door.

"How could you go along with this?" He demanded, hotly. "Why would you agree to something like this?"

"Finn loves me, okay? And I am my own person, I'm not Finn's, I'm not Shelby's and I'm definitely not yours!" Her voice rose to a yell that echoed off into the otherwise silent corridor.

"No," His voice was soft. "You're not mine. So tell me Rachel, why am I still here?"

"What?" She faltered over the word. "What do you mean?"

"Why am I still here? I only came for you. Sure, I like Kurt and Quinn and a few of the others, but this is nothing compared to Carmel. So why am I still here?" His voice was heavy with weariness and she stifled the urge to step forward and comfort him.

"I… Jesse…"

"You can't have it both ways Rachel. Tell me why I'm still here." He watched her, his eyes dark and penetrating, as she stumbled over her words.

"Do you know what?" He said finally. "Don't bother answering that. I think you already have." Turning, he stalked away down the corridors, his shoes clicking against the tiled floors.

**Xxx**

**I'm sorry! Again! **

**I'm also sorry for the long wait for this chapter, I was just getting my breath back after exams and writing one shots which you can find on my tumblr page :) It's also St. Berry Week, so happy St. Berry Week everyone. You can also find St. Berry week on tumblr with lot of amazing St. Berry fics that aren't on fanfiction on .com and they're awesome so you should go check them out. **

**Thank you so much for reaching 700 reviews! It's just astonishing and I am completely awestruck and overwhelmed by the continued, amazing response I get to this fic. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, you really have no idea of how much this means to me. **

**Thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter: DizneyGirl76, thunderbolts-lightning (ERIKA I NEVER KNEW IT WAS YOU HEY BB), EmZ711, Guest, dazzledpixie88, likewow5556, Broadwayfreak5357, Soyli Oliveira, star2525, auhaes23, , MissRe, StBerry Lover24, mindlessbanta, nepheliad, TVHollywoodDiva, Kkaty and assgroff (hey shanny it was all caps locked again and that made me laugh)**

**Feel free to come and kick my ass about this chapter on tumblr, I probably deserve it to be honest, the amount of you who were 'killed' and 'sunk into a pit of despair' (Kkaty I loved that one). So yes, feel free to come moan at me for this, it's what I'm here for! **

**Leave me a review my lovelies, they make the sun shine and the flowers grow (honestly they do, forget fusion and sunlight, it's reviews). **

**I love you all very much!**

**~Ray **

**Xxx**

**PS. If any of you read the work of TalkingToTulips, she is currently locked out of her fanfiction account, but you can find her and her stories on livejournal.  
**

**PPS. I should be publishing my new St. Berry fic on Saturday, if all goes to plan, so look out for that!**


	47. Chapter 46

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

Rachel didn't speak to either Jesse or Finn over the weekend. Her father's, noticing her sudden drop in mood, whisked her away to see Leroy's sister Clara for the weekend, where she spent the weekend brooding and listening to her music loudly through her headphones.

On Monday morning, she turned her phone on to find two missed calls from Kurt and three from Quinn. Shrugging off their concern, she pocketed her phone, presuming she would take to them later on in the day. Dressing in her newly moderated outfit, she drove to school, the deep ache in the pit of her stomach flaring when she thought of the car that usually waited outside of her door for her on a Monday morning. It was raining, a steady spring shower that was strangely cold as she clambered quickly from her car. The parking lot was deserted thanks to the rain, with the exception of a few teenagers huddled beneath the bike shed and by the skips, desperately sucking in nicotine from their cigarettes. Hurrying inside, she struggled through the crowds of people who lined the hallways, sheltering from the rain but unwilling to go to class, and made her way to her locker. Choosing to escape the corridors, she made her way to her homeroom.

As the day went on, she began to see the whispers and undisguised ogling that she was beginning to grow wearily used to. She tried to ignore it and at lunch time she was whisked away from Finn by Quinn and Kurt, who told her breathlessly that they had been looking everywhere for her. They led her to the choir room, which was unsurprisingly deserted. No matter how crowded the corridors were because of the rain, students still wouldn't be seen dead inside the choir room.

"What's wrong?" She settled into a seat, glad to take the pressure off her weary feet and cradling her stomach. "You two called me tons over the weekend."

Quinn and Kurt exchanged a glance.

"You didn't pick up your phone." Quinn muttered, unsure.

"I was away with family," She shrugged as if that explained it. Kurt raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment.

"Rachel, do you know?" Quinn eyed her cautiously and she felt her stomach sink as she took in the look her friend was giving her.

"Know… what?" Rachel's voice was soft and wary.

"About Jesse?"

Her heart felt torn at the mention of his name, it both jumped with joy and stung with pain at the thought of her ex-beau who had so cruelly torn himself from her life, leaving a gaping hole that she was desperately trying to fill before she completely lost it.

"What… what about Jesse?" Her first broke over his name.

"He… he transferred back to Carmel Rachel."

"What?" She scoffed a little and shook her head. "He hated it there, he told me himself, he would never go back, don't be absurd Kurt."

"It's true Rachel," Quinn confirmed softly, handing her a printed off sheet of paper, folded neatly in half.

She skimmed her eyes over it quickly, her nose wrinkling when she realised it was a post from Jacob Ben Isreal's gossip blog.

_**Saturday: 10: 36 am.**_

_Has heartthrob Jesse St. James turned traitor on New Directions? Reliable sources confirm that Mr St. James was seen leaving Carmel High yesterday, where he used to a student and popular boy around the school. This was mostly due to his leading position in the school's glee club: Vocal Adrenaline, a spot which he abandoned to come to McKinley High School for his ex girlfriend, Rachel Barbra Berry. Their break up reportedly happened on Tuesday and Miss Berry has been with Finn Hudson ever since, causing obvious strain between Mr St James and Miss Berry. After asking our insider at Carmel, we were told that Mr St. James had been in to confirm his transfer back to his Alma Mater. The only question is, does Miss Berry know about this turn of events? And if so, how does she feel? _

"Rachel?" Kurt reached out and touched her shoulder gently, but she barely felt it. Her mind was reeling as she stared blindly down at the paper, the darkly printed words swirling on the page as she tried to take deep breaths.

"Rachel, let go." It was only when Quinn tried to pull the paper from her hands that she realised how tightly she was holding it, the paper ripping easily. "Rachel," Quinn repeated and she felt gentle hands prying her fingers away from the paper.

"Rachel, it's okay," She felt Kurt place his arm around her shoulders and it was only when she was pressed against his warm body that she realised that she was trembling furiously.

"He… he wouldn't."

Neither Quinn nor Kurt replied and she realised immediately what that meant. They were pretty sure that Jesse had transferred. Desperately, she thoughts back to their last conversation and, flinching, remembered his words.

"_Why am I still here? I only came for you."_

"No!" Ripping herself from Kurt grip, she stumbled past them, ignoring their comforting hands, outstretched to catch her shoulders and try to bring her back.

"Rachel!"

She scrambled through the crowds, blind to their curious expressions and pushed through the door and into the parking lot, cringing as the rain pelted at her skin, the force of each droplet making her skin sting. Clambering into her car she started to engine with shaky hands and drove quickly to Jesse's uncle's house, pulling up outside of the door.

The Range Rover was not in its place on the drive, but she went to the door anyway, hammering on it, calling out for him. She wasn't sure what she would say. Really, she had no right to be there. She had been awful to him and no matter how much he had hurt her; there had been no excuse for it.

Finally, when she began to shiver from the rain pouring down on her, she hurried back to her car and drove home. Standing in her shower, she wondered vaguely if she would eventually run out of tears.

**xxx**

The auditorium was dark and slightly chilly when he got there. Flicking on the stage lights, he climbed the steps slowly, enjoying the warmth of the lights and slowly getting to grips with his surroundings again. Moving to the middle of the expansive stage, he stood beneath the stage lights, enjoying the feel of the heat of them, warming his skin. Slowly he took in the auditorium, reaching out with all of his senses to try and familiarise himself with the stage and then turned to where the dark, grand piano was stood. Running his hands gently of it, he caressed the ivories softly, smiling a little. Being back here, somewhere he had honestly not thought he would ever be back to, at least not like this. Not as a performer. Not as a _lead_.

Which he still was, of course. Coming back had been easier than he would have thought. He'd met with Shelby on Saturday morning and told her, stoically, that he was transferring back to Carmel. Her response had been to immediately question him on why, where, when and how but he had sat back in the chair and looked at her with such a dark expression that she had nodded and accepted him back into Vocal Adrenaline.

Pacing across the breadth of the stage, he tried to ignore the thoughts that barraged his mind and focussed instead on the pacing of his shoes back and forth across the floor beneath him.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in." He started at the sound, so lost in his pacing that he hadn't heard her approach. Giselle was sat, lounging on the piano stool and watching him, a small smile dancing at the corners of her mouth.

He tried to push down the anger that simmered within him, reminding himself that he didn't particularly care about Giselle any more, but that appearances were important back here in Vocal Adrenaline.

"Giselle, I didn't expect to see you here. Come to work that lazy left foot into action?" He drawled, watching her reaction carefully.

The girl flushed angrily- she had always been conscious about how her lazy left foot effected her dancing- and scowled at him. He watched her, unconcerned by her reaction.

"I thought I'd probably find you here," She ignored his earlier snipe and stood slowly, running her legs against each other sensually. "I hear you're back on the team, back at school."

"I am," He confirmed, refusing to look at her.

"Back from those misfits." He shrugged noncommittally and she eyed him carefully. "Back where you belong."

"It's not really any of your business is it Giselle?" He snapped, turning on his heel to start down the steps and away from her.

"Away from that girl- finally."

He froze at her words, a shiver of pure rage running down his spine. His fingers tightened on the banister and he could feel the smooth, polished surface of the wood stinging his palm.

"I heard you guys broke up."

He gave one sharp bark of laughter, bitterly. "You'd know all about that wouldn't you?"

"Jesse," Her voice was fluttery and innocent. "I don't know _what _you're talking about."

He had turned on her within a second and strode towards her so quickly that he was almost running. She cringed away from his advances, into the piano behind her and he came forward until he was merely centimetres away from her and leaning over her, breathing hard.

"You are lucky, Giselle, that I don't hit girls." He snarled, his voice low and growling deep in his chest.

She flinched at his harsh voice and he turned on his heel and stormed away before she could even begin to formulate a response.

**Xxx**

"_Come on, get your act together! What do you think this is a yoga class?" _

The sound of Shelby Corcoran's voice over the loud speakers in the auditorium was strangely comforting to him as he ran through the dance routine once again with his team mates. Never before had he been so grateful was his careful eye and quick memory, allowing him to pick up the moves easily and quickly. Even so, they had been at it for four hours and Jesse, unaccustomed to this rigorous a rehearsal despite his daily runs and thorough practices, could feel the fatigue draining him of every ounce of energy he had left. Wiping his hand quickly across his forehead to rid it of any sweat, he caught hold of Andrea as she span towards him and completed the move flawlessly.

"_Okay, okay stop!" _Shelby's voice came over the loudspeakers, so great in volume that it almost deafened them and the music cut off abruptly. "That's it," Her voice was slightly quieter. "I'm obviously not going to get anything decent out of you now. Go home and practice people and get your heads in gear for an extra long rehearsal tomorrow, understood?" There was a general mumblings of agreement from the stage but Shelby didn't seem to need any other encouragement. "Okay, go home and cool off, alright guys? I don't want anyone complaining about pulled muscles tomorrow- no excuses! St James, I want you up here when you've stretched."

The group dispersed and Jesse moved slowly to the back of the stage, grabbing his bag from the wings and beginning to stretch using the makeshift ballet bars set up backstage.

"Hey Jesse." He turned to see Sam a few paces away from and gave him a weary smile.

"Hi."

"I'm glad you're back." Sam dropped his bag at his feet and began to stretch a little away form him. "I mean, I'm not glad about… I mean… I heard about you and Rachel. I'm really sorry about that."

Jesse shrugged, keeping his eyes focused on his taught calf muscles. "Things happen."

"Are you glad to be back?" Sam leaned over to pick up his bag and watched Jesse.

"I guess so." Jesse turned to face him and followed him out onto the mostly deserted stage. "I'll see you around buddy. Don't forget to cool down well at home." He patted his back once and Sam nodded, starting away down the stairs. Jesse waited for him to go before he turned to address his coach, who was making her way towards him.

"What do you want Shelby?"

"Coach Corcoran," She corrected him, joining him on the stage.

"Fine then: what do you want Coach Corcoran?" He regarded her with a jaw stiff with tension and anger flaring in his gaze.

"I get it, okay Jesse? You're angry that you had to come back and you and Rachel had a fight and you think that _I'm_ responsible somehow…"

"You _are_ responsible!" He spluttered, outraged. "This is _all_ your fault. How could you say those things to Rachel? About the baby?"

"I was shocked." Shelby defended herself ferociously.

"You _devastated _her." Jesse growled, his fists clenching at his sides.

"_Devastated_," Shelby mocked him, rolling her eyes. "You've always had a flair for the dramatics, but _really_ Jesse."

"You did," He could feel himself becoming more and more angry as Shelby remained calm in front of him. "Do you even know what happened to her?"

"Just spit it out Jesse," She sighed heavily, crossing her arms in front of her.

"She _ran away_."

"She did what?"

"She went to New York Shelby, to get away from Lima."

"I can't believe she did that! I thought she knew better than to run off to New York!"

"Yeah- and then she got _hit by a car_." Jesse snapped and watched as the colour drained from Shelby's face.

"She _what?_" Shelby's voice was unusually weak and Jesse pushed his advantage.

"She got hit by a car. Don't worry, she's fine, the baby's fine- not that you'd care about that."

"That's not fair!" Shelby scowled. "Of course I would care."

"No you wouldn't," Jesse scoffed. "Admit it, you want her on the team and that baby is the only thing standing in the way of your perfect team."

"Remember your place Jesse," Her voice was low and angry. "You are still the student and I am still the teacher."

"Whatever," He shook his head, flipping her off. "I'm back Shelby and you know I'll work as hard as I can, because that's what I do. I'll wear my showface, I'll not do anything to damage the team. But I cannot… _will not_… pretend that I haven't been affected by this whole affair."

Turning on his heel he stormed away, grabbing his bag as he went and leaving Shelby standing alone on the empty stage.

**Xxx**

**Look I'm sorry okay. But don't say I didn't warn you. I said… I SAID that the angst would be pumped up. I've been soft on you, we needed some drama. **

**Don't hate me?**

**This chapter is for Sarah (awakemysoullittlelionman)! It's her birthday, so I'm posting a new chapter as she requested. But… it isn't the most cheerful of chapters ;) So, to apologise to her and to apologise to those of you who have apparently been TRAUMATISED by this story as of late, I'll offer a sneak peak of next chapter to those of you who review… and trust me, you'll want to see this ;)**

**REMEMBER: You have to have your PM turned on and if you're reviewing on anon then you need to sign off now because fanfiction doesn't let you do it and just says that you're 'Guest' which is SO ANNOYING. **

**Okay. My new story is posted as well, if anyone wants to go and check out that? It's called Winged and this is shameless self promotion ;)**

**That is all I think. Thank you to people who reviewed the last chapter. I don't want to name you this time, because I often name people who have reviewed on anon and this time I can't thank you properly because I don't know who you all are *sobs* So just know I love you all and remember to sign your reviews. Okay, review for a sneak peak and happy birthday Sarah!**

**Love you all,**

**~Ray **


	48. Chapter 47

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx  
**

It took Rachel three days to snap out her funk. She cried incessantly, ignoring even her fathers and not attending school. She picked up her phone millions of times over those three days, her finger hovering over the 1 button, where his speed dial still resided. She never called him of course, far too terrified of what she would say. Because really she had no excuse. She had driven him away with her pining for Finn and her stupid actions. Finn sent her one text, which asked whether she has seen his US history text book and she didn't reply. Jesse's picture was still on her nightstand and every time she looked at it she felt her insides clench painfully.

On the third evening Hiram appeared in her doorway. He made his way to where she was lying in bed and settled on the side of the bed that had been Jesse's side, taking her wordlessly in his arms, keeping her comforter wrapped around her in a cocoon as he held her while she sobbed.

It took at least an hour for her to cry herself out and when she was done, he reached out, still keeping one arm around her and took the picture from the night stand, placing it in the drawer of her bedside table and shutting firmly.

"It's time to start healing honey," Was all he said to her and that was the first night that Rachel slept in those three days.

She went back to school the next day, quiet and sombre, talking very little and she was glad that Quinn and Kurt took it upon themselves to walk her from class to class, keeping away unwanted attention with icy glares.

As she sat in glee club, Finn looked at her, frowning.

"What's wrong with you Rachel?"

"Nothing," She answered softly. "I'm fine, nothing's wrong."

He scoffed. "Sure," He responded, irritated, but was forced into silence when Mr Schue appeared in front of them.

When glee club finished, Rachel rushed out before anyone could stop her, pausing to smile weakly at her dads before shuffling quickly upstairs, before they could question her.

Sitting slowly at her desk, she buried herself in her homework, working harder than ever before and ignoring her phone, which informed her with a loud, blaring tone, that Finn was trying to call her. After a quiet dinner with her fathers, she retired to bed and slept fitfully, her dreams full of shadowy figures that appeared for mere moments before vanishing again.

She followed the same routine for the next two days, ignoring Finn's irritated comments. She got into the habit of hugging herself, wrapping her arms around the child inside her as if it was the only thing keeping her together. She had another sonogram coming up soon, she was sure, and the thought of going without Jesse was practically painful.

On the third night she awoke in a cold sweat, although she couldn't remember her dream and her heart was racing furiously in her chest. Clambering silently out of bed, she made her way downstairs for some water, unsure if she was upset or merely thirsty and paused halfway down the stairs when she heard her dads' soft voices drifting from the living room.

Sitting awkwardly, her large stomach a slightly hindrance, she listened.

"It's ridiculous, she's practically comatose." Leroy's voice was harsh with worry.

"Now Leroy, don't be dramatic." Hiram was softer, gentling. "Has she talked to you?"

"Of course not." Leroy sighed regretfully. "Has she talked to you?"

"No," Hiram admitted unwillingly. "She hasn't said anything."

"I just didn't expect her to take it this hard. He was just a high school boyfriend, after all."

"You and I both know he was far more than that to her." Her papa corrected him.

"How could he do this to her?"

"It might have been a combination, we can't immediately assume that he's to blame. We knew they were going through a rough patch."

"I haven't seen her like this since…" Leroy's voice was lower, a whisper.

"Since after the incident." Hiram finished for him and he sighed heavily.

"And the baby? This can't be good for the baby, all of this stress."

"But what can we do?"

"I don't know," Leroy said and she could hear him sighing softly. "I just feel so helpless Hiram."

"I know sweetie, I know. I feel it too."

"My little girl's in pain, she's _suffering_, and there's nothing I can do."

"There's nothing we can do except make sure she knows that we're here for her. We've raised her well Leroy, she'll come to us when she's ready."

Clambering up, Rachel padded back upstairs, her heart heavy and her water forgotten. A burden of guilt had settled on her shoulders. She had had no idea that her behaviour was affecting her fathers so badly. She knew that they cared deeply about her, but she had been so wrapped up in her own cocoon of loneliness and angst that she had barely even noticed how her fathers were being affected.

Slipping unsteadily into bed, her hand slipped around her rounded stomach. Sighing heavily, she glanced over at Jesse's picture on her nightstand and took it in her hands, resting it in her lap as she sat up. Running her fingers gently along the contours of his smiling face, she took a deep steadying breath and opened her bottom drawer, slipping the picture in and shutting it again. Slowly, she slid back down again, curling around her bump and cradling it to her.

It was time to move on.

**Xxx**

"Finn?" Rachel called upstairs, a stack of heavy books in her hands as she clambered upstairs, trying to steady herself against the banister. Walking slowly, it took her a few minutes to get up the stairs and when she looked into the room she saw that Finn had sprawled his long body across her bed, munching on some snacks.

Dropping the heavy book on the bed she flopped beside him, stretching her aching back.

"Okay Rache?" He glanced over at her, talking through a mouthful of food.

"Fine," Rachel wrinkled her nose as a distinct waft of salt and vinegar struck her, making her stomach curl. "Finn… could you maybe not eat those in front of me? They make me feel a bit queasy."

Finn shrugged. "I'll be done in a sec Rache." He tipped the packet up and drained it, making Rachel cringe, but she didn't argue, merely nodding.

"So, studying." She reached for a book in front of her, pulling it open to a certain chapter. "WE could do Biology first, if you want?"

"Okay," Finn shrugged again, shoving the packet in his pocket and lounging further back on her bed.

"Alright," Rachel considered for a moment. "What are auxins used for in a plant?"

"What?" Finn frowned. "What are what used for?"

"Auxins, plant hormones," Rachel explained, glancing back at him.

"I dunno, make it grow?"

"Erm, sort of." Rachel nibbled uncertainly on her lower lip. "Can you tell me a bit more?"

"I don't know Rache." He reached for his phone, flicking the lid up and down.

"Well, they're used for directing a plant's growth towards the sun." She pointed to the diagram in the book and he glanced at it, before meeting her eyes and grinning.

Sitting up, he reached towards her. "I don't want to study Rache." Snaking his hand around her neck, he pulled her closer and pressed a kiss against her lips.

"Finn," She complained, breaking off. "We have to study."

"No we don't, you'll get good grades anyway Rache, you always do." He kissed her again and rolled her beneath him, ignoring her protests.

"That's because I _study_ Finn." She rolled her eyes at him.

"Then you'll be fine," He said and leant in to kiss her again and Rachel gave up her argument and kissed him back, giving in as his hand snaked up her ribs.

Forcing herself to relax, she ran her hands into his short hair, her trim nails scraping gently at the back of his neck as he kissed her forcefully. Shutting her eyes, she leaned into his touch as his hand ran up her side, under her soft cardigan and then under her t shirt and up to her flimsy bra strap. His hand cupped at her breast and his thumb ran over her nipple and she broke off, gasping slightly.

"Jesse…"

Her eyes shot open immediately as she realised what she had said, praying that Finn hadn't noticed. One look in his eyes, however, told her that he had and he scrambled off her, glaring at her.

"What the hell Rache?" He shouted, books falling off the bed and onto the floor and he stood up.

"I'm sorry… Finn… I didn't know what I was doing…" She struggled to explain herself as he looked at her, hate welling in his eyes.

"It's him! It's always been him!" He stormed, slamming his hand against one of the poster of her bed, making her jump.

"No Finn, please…"

"You want me to believe you're over him Rachel, but you're not! You're lying to me!"

"I thought I was over him," She argued back, forcefully. "I _want to be_."

"You don't Rachel," He spat, disgustedly. "Don't talk crap. You love him and you always have."

"No!"

"He's not good for you! He hurts you! I wish you could see that!" Shaking his head angrily, Finn fisted his hands and scowled. "I have to… I've got to… We're broken up Rachel… You've got to get yourself straight. I'm leaving."

Turning on his heel, Finn hurried quickly out of the door.

"Finn, wait!" Rachel struggled to get off the bed, her large belly hindering her and by the time she was downstairs, Finn was already in his car. "Finn," She called again, half heartedly, but she had shut the door before his car was out of sight down the street.

Climbing the stairs with a heavy heart, she sat slowly back down, cradling her bulge. She tried to feel something, _anything_, for the loss of her boyfriend, but she couldn't feel anything but the overwhelming numbness and a sort of weariness that seemed to follow her around now. Reaching slowly into the lower drawer, she pulled out his photo and ran her fingers over it again and placed it back on her bedside table again.

**Xxx**

It took a few days for her to finally come to a decision, changing her mind hourly. It took a lengthy phone call with Kurt and a visit from Quinn to push her into getting her coat and driving to Carmel.

When she pulled up in the parking lot and saw the lines upon lines of black Range Rovers, just like his, she almost bailed, trying not to think of the occupants as she clambered from her car and made her steady way into the school, entering through a back door to bypass the secretary. Following the now far too familiar path to the auditorium, she paused by the door, peering fearfully in. They were in the middle of performing a number and she was unsurprised to see Jesse in the middle of the group, taking centre stage as Dakota Stanley shouted at them, moving them around as it suited him and making them repeat the same lift over and over. After fifteen minutes, when Rachel's feet were beginning to hurt and she was seriously considering bolting while she still could, she heard Shelby's authoritative tones calling for a ten minutes break. Rachel watched as the members scattered, watching Jesse so intently that she barely noticed the approaching figure until he called out, in a familiarly nasally tone of voice.

"Hey Jesse! I think you've got a visitor!"

She shrunk back from the stares that Adrian's voice caused and looked up to See Jesse, looking furious, hurrying towards her. HE paused beside Adrian and said, in a voice that was casual, but loud enough to carry.

"Maybe you'd better take this time to work on your footwork in the second verse Adrian, you were half a beat behind."

Snickers and giggles accompanied his comment, but Jesse barely cracked a smile as he grabbed Rachel by the elbow and tugged her outside after him.

"What do you want Rachel?" His voice was unusually hard, making her shiver and wrap her thin coat closer to her swelling body.

"I… I wanted to talk to you." She faltered under his intense gaze.

"You didn't want to talk before." There was a slight bitterness in his tone and she flinched at the accusation she heard there. "What make this so different?"

"I just wanted to… I thought it might be good if we… got a few things off our chests. Got some closure."

"Closure?" He barked a wry laugh. "I got closure Rachel, when you told me to leave. When you started dating that oaf."

"We aren't dating any more." The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, but Jesse didn't react. "How could you leave like that?" She asked, finally, her voice breaking over her words.

"Like what?" He snapped, crossing his arms.

"With nothing, no word, no warning. I had to learn about it from _other people _Jesse! How do you think that feels?"

"I expect it feels about the same as having to find out that your girlfriend is dating someone else, even though you haven't really broken up, by seeing them together!" He growled and she saw a flash of fierce, red hot anger before the cold mask returned.

"I didn't think you _wanted me_!" Her voice broke again and she choked back tears furiously.

He shook his head, furiously. "Of course I did." He spat before taking a long, calming breath and saying. "You should go."

"No," She was grasping at straws, her voice becoming more desperate. "I'm not ready to let this go Jesse."

"Well I am." He shook his head stubbornly. "It's too much Rachel."

"Are you trying to tell me you don't care any more?" She demanded, "Because I won't believe you."

"Well you should," His voice was hard. "Because it's the truth."

"I…" She faltered for a moment. "I don't believe you."

"That's because you're so trusting Rachel!" His voice rose angrily and he fisted his hands in his hair, huffing. "You think that romance is real and that people are good and kind, but it's _not always true_."

"_You're_ good and kind Jesse! I know you are!"

"Then you obviously don't know me as well as you think." He shook his head solemnly.

"You're telling me that it meant nothing to you?" She took a hesitant step towards him. "Nothing meant anything to you? Not one word, one look, one… touch?" She reached forward and just barely brushed his cheek.

He flinched away like he'd been scalded.

"Nothing." When he spoke, his voice was as sharp as diamond. "Not one thing meant anything to me Rachel. You have to understand that."

"It wasn't a lie Jesse!" Her voice was rising in pitch and in volume and she reached for him again, stumbling when he moved out of her way.

He shook his head again and she felt the change in him, the cool, angry despair that seemed to have clutched hold of him.

"I've made my closure Rachel," He sounded lifeless, completely devoid of emotion. "I suggest you make yours."

Turning on his heel he left her standing in the middle of the parking lot. She stood, frozen, for a good few minutes, part of her wishing she could chase after him and the other part of her never wanting to see his beautiful, devastating face again in her life. She felt like he'd torn her open and trampled on her and the worst part was that she knew that she deserved it. She had forced him into this, it was her own fault that he had come to Carmel and it was her own fault that he didn't want her anymore.

"Rachel?"

She flinched at the sound of her mother's voice. If there was anymore that she didn't want to see more than Jesse it was Shelby. Turning, she hurried away, hoping that Shelby wouldn't pursue her and clambered in her car, starting the long, weary drive home.

When she got back to an empty house, Rachel made her way slowly upstairs, sinking down on the soft bed beneath her.

Reaching out, she took the picture from the table and put in back in its drawer.

"Closure," She whispered softly and lay down, two hot tears trailing down her cheeks.

**Xxx**

Jesse woke up to strange noises. Somewhere, from within the supposedly otherwise deserted house, crashes and bangs were sounding, along with the occasional curse and muffled voices.

It took him a moment to gain his bearings. He remembered, in one sudden onslaught, leaving for the airport the Friday night that Rachel had appeared at Vocal Adrenaline rehearsal and booking a flight for L.A. He remembered calling Johnny and explaining, in a very calm tone, that he needed somewhere to think things over for a few days and Johnny telling him to use his house. He remembered taking a cab with his one bag to Johnny's house, stumbling in through the door and falling asleep, despite the fact that the time difference meant that it was still brilliant sunshine outside.

Sitting up slowly, he looked up at the door, jumping in surprise when he saw the figure leaning happily there.

"Lucy?" He blinked at her, shocked. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Well," She bounced towards him. "Johnny said that you were a little down and you'd come here for a while to feel better and we thought we might help."

"We?" Jesse watched her as she sat beside him, crossing her legs beneath him.

"Yeah, we." He glanced up again to see Amelia, carrying a tray of food, walking more slowly into the room.

"Amelia!" He smiled at her, accepting the food that she thrust at him. "What the…? Don't you guys have things to do?"

"Nothing's more important than you right now sweetie," Amelia laughed, perching on the edge of the bed and as the two girls bantered and he ate the breakfast they had prepared for him, he almost forgot about the dark haired beauty he had left at home.

Almost.

**Xxx**

He spent the rest of the day on the beach, enjoying his time with Lucy and Amelia. Matt stopped by on his break and they went to grab lunch together before Matt had to go back to work, and then the trio went back to the beach again, before making their way to Johnny's.

Jesse was alone in the kitchen later that evening, cooking the dinner for the two girls who had so kindly made him breakfast, when Lucy sauntered in, a glass of wine in her hands.

"You shouldn't have that," He admonished, shaking his head mockingly. "You're too young."

"Hey pot, meet kettle." She poked her tongue out at him and took another swig, leaning against the kitchen table and watching him as he chopped.

"IF you're gonna be in here, you could help." HE suggested, after a few minutes of silence and she took the knife from him, chopping as he stirred the tomato into the sauce.

"So," Lucy's eyes remained on her chopping. "Do you want to tell me why you're here?"

"I wanted a break," He shrugged, moving to grab some seasoning.

"Jesse, tell me why you're really here."

He sighed heavily, unable to avoid the piercing gaze that she fixed him with and put the herbs on the table, moving to lean against it, staring ahead of him and away from her.

"I just needed some… space. Somewhere to think. I needed to get out of Ohio for a while."

"Why did you need to get out of Ohio?" She pressed and he stayed silent for a few minutes, hesitating.

"Rachel and I broke up."

"You _what?" _Lucy put down her knife, moving towards him. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" Jesse spluttered, indignantly. "We had an argument, it was long in the making, but I wanted a break for a while, I needed to… to get my head straight. And then she began dating this other guy! When we were only on a break!"

"Have you talked to her?" Lucy demanded.

"Yes but… I mean… I was angry with her. I was ready to cut her out of my life and go back to how I was! I even transferred schools but she still showed up…"

"You transferred back to Carmel? Why would you do that Jesse?"

"You don't understand!" He stood suddenly, making Lucy jump. "You don't get it! I had to see her with that imbecile _every single day_. And it killed me. Because they were everywhere Lucy, wherever I turned they were there and I couldn't stand it! I couldn't stand seeing the girl I love being stolen from me by some oaf who doesn't deserve her. It was killing me. So, yeah, I transferred, because there's only so much I can take."

"Have you talked to her?" Lucy repeated, after a moment's silence, her voice calm and collected.

"Yes," He replied, softly, slumping against the table again and Lucy moved closer to him.

"When? What did she say?"

"She said that she wanted closure. She came to Carmel and said that she'd broken up with him and that she wanted to be mine again."

"She broke up with him? Jesse, take your chance, take her back again."

"You don't understand." He turned his tortured gaze on her. "I can't do that to myself again Lucy. I let myself get too attached, she meant too much to me. And then, when she left, it felt like she'd turn me apart when she did it. I can't do that again."

"Oh Jesse…" Lucy's sympathetic voice was cut short.

"Jesse St. James." Amelia stood in the doorway, looking in at them. "Cut that self pitying crap out right now."

Jesse looked at her, startled.

"So fine, she hurt you. But ask yourself, was the joy that you had with her worth it? Because if it was, then you've got to go back."

"I can't just go back to her. Not after what I said."

"Then you've got to make some difficult decisions. Because you can either go back to her, say you were wrong and have a happy life _or_ you can stick to your stupid pride and live a life of misery. Your choice St. James, your choice."

**Xxx**

On Sunday evening, when Jesse got home, he noticed that his answer phone was flashing and he stopped in the hallway to drop his bag and sit on the couch in the living room to listen to it.

"Jesse… hey… it's me, Rachel. I just wanted to say that… I'm sorry for barging into your rehearsal. It was unprofessional of me and… it was unfair to sneak up on you like I did and I'm sorry. But… I need you to know that I still care deeply for you… even though I've probably ruined everything with my stupid stunts." Her voice broke and he felt his stomach twist as he heard a sob choke its way through her throat. "I didn't mean to hurt you and… I don't know why I did it. I know you… I know that you probably don't care about me anyway, you probably deleted this voice mail the moment you heard my voice so I guess I'm safe to say that I… well… I love you and I don't want this to end. We were good together Jesse and I don't want to lose that. But… I understand and I'll stay away now, if that's what you want. Thank you Jesse, for our time together. I think I'll always…" Her voice broke again. "Always remember them as some of the best times of my life so… thank you."

There was only silence after that and he put the phone down before he dropped his head into his hands and cried.

**Xxx**

**It's so angsty! I'm sorry, this chapter really is just one barrel of laughs after another sigh. **

**I'm pretty sure some of you know but I'm going on holiday for three weeks today. I'm going to try and post about half way through my second week, but if I can't get a good enough internet connection I won't be able to post for three weeks. If you get withdrawal symptoms feel free to message me about anything, because I should be able to reply and if you want to read some more I have a fic set up to post on tumblr while I'm gone under the tag 'fic: a dream is a wish'. If you want to know any more about that message me and I'll happily tell you.**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter- I'm pretty sure I messaged all of you, apart from a few late comers who I know I missed and I'm really sorry, I've just been so busy prepping for my holiday these past few days! Thank you to stephjones 91, , stberryisforever, Jorja, dazzledpixie88, Carlaisabel, TVHollywoodDiva, Kkaty, KauraREX, Guest, Soyli Oliveira, x-MzHyde-x, Broadwayfreak5357, Jesses (I'm sorry you thought that.), oxymoron8, StBerry Lover24, Guest, Guest, Guest, thunderboltsandlightning and EmZ711.**

**Thank you guys for your continued support. Don't be worried about messaging me if you want to, I'd be happy to talk to you :)  
**

**Click that little box down there... go on...  
**

**~Ray  
**


	49. Chapter 48

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

Noah Puckerman, or Puck to his friends, wasn't known for being the most attentive of guys. He was good in bed that was for sure, and he had guns to rival all of the football team, but even he would admit that sensitivity and attentiveness weren't his thing. But even Puck couldn't have missed the sudden change in the glee club. A change that centred, as it almost always did, around their strongest voice: Rachel Berry.

The fact was: Rachel Berry had slipped. Her usually flawless performances were now a little off, a little strange and lacking in some way. That was, if she performed at all. She didn't tend to do so, but whenever she was asked about it she would claim that she was too busy studying and she would perform next week. Which, of course, she never did.

Puck wasn't in many of Rachel's classes, in fact the only one they shared was homeroom, which wasn't really a class at all, so it didn't count, but whatever. Puck was pretty sure that Rachel's wasn't working when she was in there. Mostly she'd sit staring into space. Sometimes he saw her writing, but whenever she did that she'd tear out whatever she'd written when the bell went and crumple it into a ball to throw in the trash can on the way out.

So one day, after Rachel had literally not said a word in glee club the night before, Puck found himself doing something he never thought he'd do: rummaging around in a trash can for Rachel's crumpled paper. He was lucky, he thought bitterly, that people didn't often use the trash cans, preferring to just drop litter in the school halls to piss the janitorial staff off, but he swore when his hand brushed a banana peel.

He managed to fish out five pieces of paper and shove them in his pockets. When he got home his mom was nearly shocked into a seizure when he told her he couldn't look after his little sister because he had reading to do and ran off upstairs while he still had the chance.

Settling down on his bed, he pulled out the papers, laying them out in front of him and took the first one, smoothing it out and peering at the curly, girlish writing on the paper.

It was unusually messy and in some places words had been scribbled out with such ferocity that she had actually torn through the paper.

Reading the first one, he frowned when he saw the words.

_Jesse, _

_I know that we haven't talked in a while but I was wondering if _

The rest of the paragraph was scribbled out and beneath it was written.

_What I mean to say is that I really miss you and I_

The words had stopped there and he reached for the next piece of paper, reading the same sort of thing with a sinking feeling. Each one was a letter addressed to Jesse. Some were angry, most just sounded desperate, but it was the final one that really made Puck sit up, his eyes widening in surprise.

_Dear Jesse,_

_I think about you all the time. I don't understand it, it's like you're stuck in my head. I see you everywhere, in everything that happens. Sometimes, in glee club, I turn to look at you and tell you something, but then I remember that you're not there. I miss you Jesse. I know I've told you before, but I really do mean it. Sometimes it feels like I can barely breathe because you're not here beside me. Sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball and cry for the rest of eternity because I miss you that much. _

_And it's not like I've just lost my boyfriend. You were my best friend too Jesse. And it's not fair of you to want to stop being my best friend just because of something that happened when you were both my best friend and my boyfriend. It's not fair Jesse. It's just not. _

Puck sighed, glancing down at the paper in front of him again. He had no idea that Rachel was taking Jesse's leaving so hard. He had thought she was glad to be rid of him to be honest, what with her sudden interest in Finn, but she was obviously still pining and by the looks of it, Jesse already knew. Someone was going to have to go and talk to the punk.

And that someone was going to have to be him.

Getting up quickly, with no real plan, he gathered the paper and hurried out of the house, ignoring his mom's questions about where he was going and when he would be back. Jumping in his beat up old car, he drove to where he remembered the Carmel school being, glad to find that sure enough a trail of black Range Rovers was currently leaving the building.

Clambering out of his truck, he looked for Jesse, glad when he spotted him walking towards his car.

"Jesse!" Puck called out to him and Jesse turned, his brows narrowing when he noticed him. Glancing around, he approached slowly, keeping a few paces between them.

"Hey Puck. What do you want?"

"We need to talk," He said severely, squaring himself up and Jesse's eyebrows narrowed.

"Okay," He answered curtly, "Shoot."

"It's about Rachel."

Jesse shook his head, immediately taking a step away from him. "I am _done_ talking about Rachel Puck. Kurt and Quinn have already tried to talk to me and I'm through with it. We are over, why can't you all accept that?"

"_I'm_ ready to accept it, hell, I bet we're all ready to accept it." Puck snapped. "It's Rachel who's not accepting it."

"That's not my problem Puck." Jesse looked completely different to how Puck had ever seen him before. His gaze was cold and calculated, giving away absolutely no emotion and Puck struggled, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation.

"Bull shit! You can say all you want to her and to Kurt and Quinn, but bro to bro I know that you still care about her."

Jesse faltered, shifting uncertainly. "What makes you think you know anything about me?"

"Because you're a guy and I'm a guy and I know that sometimes you don't want to talk about feelings and crap and that it's easier not to. But Rachel…" Puck shook his head. "Did she ever tell you that we dated?"

"No…" Jesse eyed him curiously.

"Well we did and… I didn't even like her but she was… she was so freaking kind to me. You can't see it from the outside but if you get close to her, like me and like you, you see how she really is. She's kind and caring and _loving_. And I know that you have feelings for her."

"I do not!" Jesse ran a hand through his hair, "look, what do you want Puck? I really don't have time for this."

"Rachel's out of it." Puck told him bluntly. "I mean, she's really out of it. She's like she was after she came back after Christmas. It's… it's weird Jesse. And I don't like it. Here," He shoved the pieces of paper into Jesse's hands.

Jesse flicked through the letters, his eyes widening as he did.

"I'm scared, okay?" Puck said finally. "I'm worried about her and I'm worried about the baby. I don't know what she's going to do and all the stress has got to be bad for the baby. She just… she doesn't listen to us any more."

"I don't know what I can do Puck," Jesse voice was soft in the quiet night.

"You can go back to her."

"No I can't," He shook his head. "She left me for _him_ Puck. I don't know how I'm supposed to get over that."

"You've just got to," Puck huffed, shaking his head.

"Why _should I_?" Jesse shook his head furiously. "She made her choice!"

"Haven't you ever made a mistake?" Puck snapped and then rolled his eyes angrily, his voice hard and sarcastic. "Oh wait, I forgot, you're Jesse St. James, you don't _make _mistakes because you're never wrong, are you Jesse?"

"I never said that," Jesse protested. "She hasn't even apologised Puck! She hasn't told me that she was wrong."

"So maybe you guys need to talk about things- don't you get it? Rachel misses you, you idiot. She's fucking falling apart without you there." Puck shook his head. "Look, just think about it, okay?"

Turning, he left Jesse standing alone in the middle of the parking lot, still clutching the crumpled pieces of paper in his hand.

**Xxx**

It was worrying to Jesse just how at ease he felt as he snuck into the McKinley High auditorium. He tried to convince himself that it was alright- what with the amount of times that Rachel had snuck into the Vocal Adrenaline rehearsals- but he knew that if Finn caught sight of him he was completely screwed.

Slipping through the busy corridors, he ducked his head- his hair covered by the hood of his zip up jacket- and slipped through the auditorium doors. It was deserted, but he knew that if Rachel was a devastated by their separation as Puck said she was, that she would turn up in the auditorium at lunch at some point, so he resigned himself to sitting at the back and waiting for her. He had only been sat in the shadows of the back row for a few minutes before he heard the tapping of heels against the stage.

Hastily shoving his iPhone away, he watched her as she crossed the darkened stage. In this light he could barely see her, but she seemed pale and drawn, her figure more hunched as she moved around the stage quietly for a moment. Then she stepped back into the centre and pressed a button on a small remote and lights illuminated the stage, making her far easier to see.

She was wearing a black dress and her hair was pulled back from her face, which was slight and ducked towards the stage floor. Her baby bump was on show and she was cupping it close to her with one hand, an unconscious gesture as she moved around the stage.

He was surprised when she began singing. It wasn't like Rachel to sing without backing music and she always had music prepared for the occasion, always on top of everything. But not this time obviously.

"_Oh my man I love him so…"_

He watched, his stomach turning nauseatingly as she sang, pain creasing her face. Her eyes shone with unshed tears which he could see easily in the bright stage lights and they were as dark and deep as he remembered.

"_What's the difference if I say, I'll go away."_

He longed to reach out to her, to comfort her and hold her in his arms, but he felt glued to the seat, unable to move as he watched her sing, her voice haunting and painful, breaking a little as she came to the end of the song and he realised that she was crying, two pristine tears trailing down her face.

As the last not reverberated around the room, he heard the pacing of feet and sunk further down in his chair, hoping that whoever was approaching wouldn't spot him and watching the stage as Quinn appeared in the shadows.

"Rachel," Her voice, though soft, carried to him and he watched as she approached Rachel. She reached out to touch her, but Rachel flinched away. Stepping back slightly, Quinn said. "Rachel please… you've got to snap out of this."

"I'm fine Quinn." Her voice was low and trembling, but still as sweet as ever and he savoured the sound happily.

"No you're not Rachel, don't try to lie to me."

"I'm not lying," She reached down slowly to gather her things, her stomach preventing her from making a quick getaway.

"You're obviously not happy Rachel."

"I'll be fine Quinn," Rachel insisted, quietly, pushing past her. "Just let me do it in my own time." She hurried as fast as she could from the auditorium, leaving Quinn to walk after her, calling her name.

Jesse stood and left the auditorium. He'd seen everything he needed to.

**Xxx**

The next morning- a Saturday- Jesse stood in front of the Berry's front door. There was a bouquet of flowers in his hand and he was shifting nervously from foot to foot as he rang the doorbell.

The door swung open to reveal Hiram Berry, who looked at him in amazement, his apron covered in flour.

"Jesse?" He gaped. "What are you doing here?"

"I… I came to see Rachel." He admitted and Hiram nodded dumbly.

"Well, I guess you can come in but… I don't know if she'll want to see you. She's napping right now… she's… not been sleeping well." Hiram shut the door behind him.

"I can come back." Jesse offered, although he had no intention of leaving.

Hiram shook his head. "No, I'll go and wake her."

Jesse went to protest but was cut off by the sound of Leroy's voice from the living room.

"Hiram? Is that Jesse?"

"Yes," Hiram called back and ushered him into the living room, where Leroy Berry was sat, his reading glasses on, a newspaper folded in his lap. He peered at him over his glasses and Jesse tried not to squirm under the scrupulous gaze.

"Sit down," He ordered and Jesse did as he was told, perching on the arm chair. "What are you doing here?" He demanded.

"I came to see Rachel." He confessed and brandished the flowers as if they were evidence.

"I realised that," Leroy commented wryly. "I meant why do you want to see Rachel?"

"I want to apologise to her… talk to her," Jesse shrugged awkwardly.

"You want her back." Leroy stated and Jesse nodded, resigned.

"Yeah I… I need her back in my life."

"What if I tell you I'm not sure she needs you back in her life?"

Jesse gaped at him, stunned, but Leroy just gazed back, unfazed and Hiram glanced between the two in surprise.

"I'd probably say that, with all due respect sir, you are wrong." Jesse finally replied.

"No I'm not," Leroy shook his head. "I have never seen Rachel cry this much before. You _devastated_ my daughter St. James and now you have to own up to it."

"In my defence, she devastated me too!" Jesse snapped, scowling. "Look," He took a deep breath to calm himself. "I know I screwed up. But I think Rachel needs me and… God knows I need her too." He gave a dry, mirthless laugh and ran his hand through his hair.

"Leroy," Hiram intoned, softly. "Let him. You know she needs him."

"I don't like this," Leroy scowled. "I don't like how much you two need each other, you're only kids, how are you meant to deal with those kinds of feelings? It isn't healthy!"

"I know it's a commitment." Jesse told him, earnestly. "But I'm willing to make it work… and so is Rachel."

"So _you_ say. What if I disagree?"

"I love your daughter." Jesse told him bluntly. "And that isn't going to change. It's not like it's some button I can just turn on and off whenever I damn well want to. It's not going to go away or fade. It just is. And it always will just be."

"Okay."

"What?" Leroy span around to look at his husband.

"Let her make her own decision." Hiram reasoned. "Let him go and talk to her and then she can decide whether she wants to be with him again or not."

"… Fine." Leroy said finally and then looked up at Jesse, who had stood up quickly, glaring. "I'll be watching you closely St. James. No second chances. Understand?"

"Yes sir," Jesse nodded fervently and then glanced at Hiram as if asking for permission.

Nodding, Hiram smiled at the way Jesse hurried towards the stairs, taking two at a time.

Knocking softly on the door, he pushed it open to reveal Rachel, lying curled up on her bed, above the covers, wearing soft flannel pyjamas.

"I know you aren't asleep," He said softly, placing the flowers on her nightstand and standing, looking down at her. "You can't sleep unless you're under the blanket."

She startled at the sound of his voice, turning slowly to look at him, her eyes wide with surprise.

"Jesse?" Her voice was rough and gritty, like she had been crying and he sat tentatively on the edge of the bed, not daring to touch her.

"Hey."

"Hi."

An awkward silence sat between them for a long moment, the air stifling with tension as they gazed at each other until finally, Rachel cleared her throat awkwardly and looked away, her cheeks flushing.

"What… what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"Closure?" The pure heartbreak that flashing over her expression with that one word was enough to make him crumble, shaking his head quickly.

"No Rache… I… Puck came to see me."

Her brows narrowed. "Puck, why?"

"Because he was worried about you," Jesse sighed and shifted forward a little on the comforter. "He… he saw some of your letters."

"My letters?" Her mouth dropped open. "What? Where did he get them?"

"I don't know," Jesse shrugged and pulled the carefully folded pieces of paper out of his pocket, unfolding them on top of the bed, the creases soft and worn from rigorous folding and unfolding.

Rachel reached for them, trying to pull them away, but his hand reached out, holding hers automatically to stop her. His fingers curled through hers and her eyes rose slowly to meet his.

"You weren't meant to see those," She whispered, her hand still held in his.

"I know." He replied simply. "But I'm glad I did."

"They're silly," A tears escaped and rolled down her cheek slowly and he sat forward, catching it on his finger and flicking it away.

"They're heartbreaking." He corrected softly. "I didn't… Rache I didn't realise that you felt this way."

"I tried to explain," Her voice broke again, tears streaming down her cheeks. "But you… you wouldn't listen to me."

"I know," He sat further forward again, reaching for her tentatively, relief surging through him when she relaxed into his arm, tucking herself in the crook beneath his shoulder. "I was just so angry with you."

"You have every right to be." She sniffled, weakly. "I was stupid."

"No… no," He protested gently. "You weren't stupid, you were just… confused."

She snorted out a burst of laughter, a sob breaking through half way. "I was stupid." She reiterated.

"Not that stupid," He conceded finally and she turned, burying her head in his shirt and letting out something between a sob and a laugh.

"What are you doing here?" She asked finally, looking up at him through damp eyelashes.

"I want you back." He said finally and she gaped at him, her mouth falling open. "I know that I was an idiot but I can't do this without you Rachel. And to know that you feel this way…" He gestured to the letters. "It was all I needed."

"I missed you," She choked out, burrowing into his chest again and his arms closed around her warm form, holding her close and rocking her.

"I missed you too. So much." He pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her head. "Please, Rachel, will you take me back?"

"Of course," She reached out, gazing at him for a long moment before pressing a soft kiss to his lips, holding him tightly. "Always," She breathed.

"I love you," He told her, seriously, his hands cupping her face and stroking her soft cheeks tenderly.

"I love you too," She seemed almost nonplussed by his serious proclamation.

"No, Rachel, I really love you." He took a deep breath, staring at her to keep her attention. "I love you more than I've ever loved anything in my whole life. And one day, not now but one day, I'm going to marry you." She opened her mouth to respond but he pressed a quick kiss there to silence her. "I know your father's think that we're too far in, that it isn't natural and that we're too young. But Rache, nothing has ever felt so natural to me before in my life. Being with you is like breathing. And what does age matter when it comes to love?"

She blinked at him tearfully, her hands on him, one touching his face gently, running her fingers down from scalp to jawbone and the other playing gently with the soft hair at the nape of his neck.

"I love you too," She told him, sniffing. "I love you because… you love me. All of me. Especially this little guy," the hand on his face fell to cup her stomach and his hand went over it, rubbing at the swell comfortingly. "I trust you to look after us and to love us both."

"That baby will want for nothing, I swear Rachel. And I will support your decisions no matter what." He rested his forehead against hers tenderly, kissing away her tears.

"Thank you," She breathed, his voice breaking again and he held her tightly as she sobbed once, twice and then quietened. They stayed as they were, wrapped around each other, for an immeasurable amount of time until finally Jesse noticed the goosebumps on her bare arms.

"You're cold." He lifted the covers for her, urging her under them. "Here."

"You too," She tugged him in and he smiled, nodding and stripping off his tight jeans, shoes and jumper, leaving him in only a shirt and his underwear.

"Is this okay?" He asked uncertainly. Before their break up he had worn much less when in bed with her, but since their argument he was unwilling to take anything for granted.

"Of course," She tugged him by the hand again, helping him under the blankets and he curled up behind her, her back pressing into his chest, her soft hair tickling his nose and he breathed in the sweet fruity scent of her shampoo, exhaling on a sigh. It smelt like home.

"What did you do?" She asked, suddenly and his hand on her hip tightened slightly in worry.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what did you do, while we were apart?"

"Oh," He pulled her closer, thinking for a moment as he hugged her to him, comforted by her mass next to him.

"I threw myself into rehearsal. I went to California."

"You did?" She looked up at him, craning her neck to see him.

"Yes and Lucy and Amelia basically told me I was an idiot and to go back to you."

She giggled softly and he basked in the sound of her happiness, smiling slightly. "Other than that? Nothing much other than mooning over you."

"Really?" She squeezed the hand on his hip gently and he caught her hesitating, her mouth opening and then shutting again.

"What is it?"

"I… I just…" She gulped. "I thought that… with all of those pretty Vocal Adrenaline girls… you would have…"

"Never," His voice was soft. "No one but you." He promised, kissing her forehead.

A long comfortable silence fell, Jesse relaxing into the comfortable feeling of her bed beneath him and her body in his arms. It was more than he possibly hoped for when he had first arrived.

"I'm sorry about Finn." Her voice was low and he closed his eyes for a moment at the mention of the boy. "We broke up because I said your name." She blurted out and he frowned.

"You said my name?" He echoed, curiously and even in the dim light of the lamp he was able to see the blush that stole across her cheeks.

"We were… kissing and I… I was pretty caught up and I… I said your name."

He laughed loudly, a beam almost splitting his face in two and she scolded him softly.

"Jesse! It isn't funny."

"It is a little," He reasoned and she sighed a little, but relaxed into him, snuggling closer.

"I missed this." She confessed softly.

"I missed it too," He caught her trying to stifle a yawn and smiled, running a hand gently down her soft hair. "Sleep now love. You're tired."

"Don't go," She clung to him as he made a move to leave the bed and he smiled, sinking back down on the mattress.

"Okay," He smiled at her. "I'll stay. But what about your dads?"

"We're clothed, they'll be fine," She shrugged, shaking her head.

"Okay," He hugged her closer and settled in behind her, kissing her softly. "Sleep my love."

"Will you be here when I wake up?" She could barely speak she was so tired, but he replied anyway, soothing her.

"Yes."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

**Xxx**

She shifted next to him, her body twisting in the covers. Her brows were creased and her lips parted, her chest heaving as she breathed quickly. He woke when her foot jerked back and connected painfully with his shin, making him cringe and startle to consciousness, cursing softly to himself. Propping himself up on one elbow, he looked down at the fitful girl beside him and reached for her, soothing her hair softly. She jumped at the touch of his hand, a cry leaving her lips as her eyes snapped open.

"Are you okay?" He asked, quietly and she shook her head, rolling to face him and burrow into his chest, his arms wrapping around her and pulling her close to him.

"It's alright," He ran a hand through her hair, soothing her and playing with the tangles, pressing a kiss to her forehead and holding her close to him. "I'm here, it's okay."

Her trembling, half sobs finally quietened and after a few moment he asked, softly.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really." She shook her head against his shirt, sniffling.

"Your dad said you hadn't been sleeping well. You look tired. Is this a normal thing?"

"Ever since you went back to Carmel," She shrugged, sighing softly and he felt his stomach clamp painfully at the thought.

"Are you sure you don't want to tell me about it?" He asked, softly and she smiled weakly at him, saying finally, her eyes darting away.

"It's the same every night. I'm running and then I hit an alley… I think… I think it's _the_ alley." She gulped and he hugged her closer, his brows creased.

"You don't have to…" He started but she shook her head, holding him tighter.

"No… I want to. I hear voices, lot of them, laughing and… and it's cold. I can see figures, dark ones and they crowd around me." She fought back a sob, her breath catching and he held her close to him, waiting patiently until she regained her composure and continued. "I try and scream back no sound comes out. They… they… one of them… grabs my wrists and the others they… they touch me." Her voice broke again and he tried to protest.

"You really don't have to tell me Rache."

"No," her voice was louder than he expected and he cast a worried glance at the door before looking back at her, his brows creased in consternation. "I want to… I need to tell you Jesse. I need to tell someone… it's the only way they'll go away."

"Okay, okay." He soothed her gently, settling back and waiting for her to continue.

"It all goes dark then but I can still feel the pain," Rachel spoke through her sobs. "It hurts _so much_ Jesse." She burrowed further into his front and he tightened his arms around her, wishing he could hold her even closer than he already was, wishing there was a way to keep her safe and scare away her nightmares. "I can hear them taunting me and I can feel the weight of hands and bodies and lips." She cringed into his neck. "Then I wake up."

They sat in silence for a long moment.

"Do you think," he started softly. "Do you think that that's what really happened?"

She nodded, sniffling slightly and he sighed wearily.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, I wish there was something I could do. I can't make them go away and I would tear the culprits limb from limb if I thought it would do any good for you." He comforted, gently.

"I understand," She sounded tired, bone weary and he took a deep breath, holding her closer again. A deep feeling of helplessness was settling firmly in his stomach. "There's nothing we can do."

"Maybe we could go to the doctor?" He suggested, tentatively. "Ask him to give you sleeping pills?"

"I don't trust them." She shook her head and her hands shifted down to curl over her stomach protectively. "I don't want to risk hurting him."

"I know," He sighed, "I just wish there was something I could do."

"You could sing me to sleep?" She joked, weakly and he glanced down at her.

"I would happily sing you to sleep every night if it meant you slept well." He told her, earnestly and she smiled at him.

"Thank you. For now… will you just hold me?"

"All night long." He promised, holding her closer and pulling the covers over them a little more, reaching out to flick off the light switch.

Rachel slept peacefully throughout the rest of the night.

**XXX**

**And… I'm back! **

**Did y'all miss me?**

**I know there'll be quite a few people happy with this chapter ;) **

**But… this is what I basically considered the major turning point in the story, we're definitely into the home straight now guys. There're still a few more obstacles that will need to be overcome, but I've given myself an aim to finish this fic by the end of October which, considering it's taken me two years to write this much, is saying something. **

**But… thank you to those who reviewed while I was away, it means so much to read your reviews, please keep them coming! Thank you: Princess-N-xoxo, BellaRose55, MissRe, Likewow5556, , ImACryBaby (I'm sorry you cried sweetie! But it does mean I've done my job so…), Valeriej98, TVHollywoodDiva, Broadwayfreak5357, atomickilljoy, Soyli Oliveira, assgroff, dazzledpixie88, StBerry Lover24, kauraREX, , oxymoron8, Kkaty, Carlaisabel and auhaes23.**

**I want to thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart for making this story the second most reviewed St. Berry story on . It means so much to me. I've often cried at your kind words and they keep me motivated and inspired. You all mean so much to me.**

**This chapter is dedicated specially to Cindy, who is going through emotional trauma because of Pretty Little Liars last night. I hope this cheers you up twinsie.**

**Leave me some more of those amazing reviews guys! I love you all!**

**Ray**

**xxx**


	50. Chapter 49

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

She shifted next to him, her body twisting in the covers. Her brows were creased and her lips parted, her chest heaving as she breathed quickly. He woke when her foot jerked back and connected painfully with his shin, making him cringe and startle to consciousness, cursing softly to himself. Propping himself up on one elbow, he looked down at the fitful girl beside him and reached for her, soothing her hair softly. She jumped at the touch of his hand, a cry leaving her lips as her eyes snapped open.

"Are you okay?" He asked, quietly and she shook her head, rolling to face him and burrow into his chest, his arms wrapping around her and pulling her close to him.

"It's alright," He ran a hand through her hair, soothing her and playing with the tangles, pressing a kiss to her forehead and holding her close to him. "I'm here, it's okay."

Her trembling, half sobs finally quietened and after a few moment he asked, softly.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really." She shook her head against his shirt, sniffling.

"Your dad said you hadn't been sleeping well. You look tired. Is this a normal thing?"

"Ever since you went back to Carmel," She shrugged, sighing softly and he felt his stomach clamp painfully at the thought.

"Are you sure you don't want to tell me about it?" He asked, softly and she smiled weakly at him, saying finally, her eyes darting away.

"It's the same every night. I'm running and then I hit an alley… I think… I think it's _the_ alley." She gulped and he hugged her closer, his brows creased.

"You don't have to…" He started but she shook her head, holding him tighter.

"No… I want to. I hear voices, lot of them, laughing and… and it's cold. I can see figures, dark ones and they crowd around me." She fought back a sob, her breath catching and he held her close to him, waiting patiently until she regained her composure and continued. "I try and scream back no sound comes out. They… they… one of them… grabs my wrists and the others they… they touch me." Her voice broke again and he tried to protest.

"You really don't have to tell me Rache."

"No," her voice was louder than he expected and he cast a worried glance at the door before looking back at her, his brows creased in consternation. "I want to… I need to tell you Jesse. I need to tell someone… it's the only way they'll go away."

"Okay, okay." He soothed her gently, settling back and waiting for her to continue.

"It all goes dark then but I can still feel the pain," Rachel spoke through her sobs. "It hurts _so much_ Jesse." She burrowed further into his front and he tightened his arms around her, wishing he could hold her even closer than he already was, wishing there was a way to keep her safe and scare away her nightmares. "I can hear them taunting me and I can feel the weight of hands and bodies and lips." She cringed into his neck. "Then I wake up."

They sat in silence for a long moment.

"Do you think," he started softly. "Do you think that that's what really happened?"

She nodded, sniffling slightly and he sighed wearily.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, I wish there was something I could do. I can't make them go away and I would tear the culprits limb from limb if I thought it would do any good for you." He comforted, gently.

"I understand," She sounded tired, bone weary and he took a deep breath, holding her closer again. A deep feeling of helplessness was settling firmly in his stomach. "There's nothing we can do."

"Maybe we could go to the doctor?" He suggested, tentatively. "Ask him to give you sleeping pills?"

"I don't trust them." She shook her head and her hands shifted down to curl over her stomach protectively. "I don't want to risk hurting him."

"I know," He sighed, "I just wish there was something I could do."

"You could sing me to sleep?" She joked, weakly and he glanced down at her.

"I would happily sing you to sleep every night if it meant you slept well." He told her, earnestly and she smiled at him.

"Thank you. For now… will you just hold me?"

"All night long." He promised, holding her closer and pulling the covers over them a little more, reaching out to flick off the light switch.

Rachel slept peacefully throughout the rest of the night.

**Xxx**

The reactions to Jesse's return to New Directions were predictably hostile. Finn almost threw him out of the choir room and Mercedes, Artie and Santana loudly cast heavy aspersions on his loyalty. However, Quinn and Kurt were welcoming and Puck gave him a friendly nod. Mike welcomed him easily enough and Brittany looked up from her cuddly unicorn long enough to say that she was glad he had come back to his dad.

Mr Shue had taken him aside at the end of the session and said that, while he was glad he was back, he would prefer it if Jesse could refrain from transferring schools- and by extension glee clubs- every few weeks just because of relationship problems.

Jesse had seen his point.

So the team settled back into preparing for Nationals, Jesse keen on putting them through their paces, repeating every session that they had no idea how hard Nationals were and that they needed to be prepared.

It was a week or so after Jesse's return that Rachel was approached by Quinn. The blonde cheerleader appeared behind her, a thoughtful expression covering her features.

"Hey Quinn." She smiled, slamming her locker shut and hooking her arm through the cheerleader's as they began to walk to their math class together. "What's up?"

"I just…" Quinn looked down at her and Rachel frowned, concerned.

"What's wrong?" She pulled the cheerleader off to a side corridor, forcing her to a stop.

"I need to talk to you about something." Quinn admitted, pushing a lock of golden hair behind her ear.

"What is it?" Rachel clasped her binder closer to her chest, watching her friend with trepidation.

"Finn… Finn asked me out."

"He did?" Rachel's eyebrows rose in surprise, but she managed a small smile. "Oh well… how do you feel about it?"

"I want to say yes." Quinn confessed, shifting from one sneaker clad foot to the other.

"That's great." Rachel beamed at her friend and said, placing her hand on the girl's arm and squeezing comfortingly. "If you want to date him you should Quinn."

"You aren't mad?" Quinn asked, anxiously. "I know you two just broke up and I didn't think I should say yes but you're back with Jesse now so…"

"_You_, of anyone, know how little I cared for Finn. Please, Quinn you have my blessing." Rachel smiled at her, encouragingly.

"I know," Quinn smiled wryly and said. "Thank you Rachel, I'll tell him yes."

"I'm pleased for you Quinn." She told her earnestly. "I really am. Maybe he'll have better luck with you than he ever did with me."

"I hope so," Quinn smiled and turned, hurrying away as Rachel made her way in the opposite direction towards Math.

**xxx**

Quinn and Finn's rekindled relationship blossomed over the next few days and Rachel watched on, a small smile playing on her lips as the pair seemed to settle happily in together. They were very well suited to one another, complimenting each other in a way that Finn and Rachel never had and Rachel snuggled further into Jesse's arm as Quinn turned to give her a smile over her shoulder. Finn followed her gaze and his eyes flickered from Rachel to Jesse's arm over her shoulder to Jesse's hard expression, distracted when Quinn began to talking to him.

That evening the pair were curled up on Rachel's bed together, Jesse going over their potential song choices for Nationals as Rachel gazed at her most recent sonogram, tracing her fingers over the vague outline of the baby in the picture.

"Look," She showed Jesse the sonogram for the tenth time that night. "You can see his head and his arms… and there are his little feet and his toes."

"Long toes," Jesse noted, slight teasing in his voice. "Maybe he'll be a dancer."

"Maybe," Rachel agreed, settling into Jesse's embrace as he wrapped an arm around her. "He can do whatever he wants, I won't mind."

"You're completely convinced he'll be a boy aren't you?" Jesse smiled softly at her. "Did you have it confirmed yet?"

"No," Rachel shook her head, "they said they probably could, but I don't want to know. I don't want to pin my hopes on anything. I just… have a feeling he's a boy."

"You think?" Jesse ran a hand over her swollen stomach, smiling as he felt the baby kick against him. "He's certainly a kicker. Maybe he'll play football."

"I don't think I could ever teach him that." Rachel looked up at him from beneath her lashes.

"I would teach him." Jesse nodded, "we'd play football and baseball in Central Park together. Maybe have a dog to walk."

"That sounds nice," Rachel murmured, cuddling him and Jesse wrapped his long arms around Rachel, his hand resting on her stomach, rubbing it soothingly as he spoke.

"Yeah but I know what you're like Rache," He teased. "You'd be covering us with sunscreen, making us take healthy snacks along with us…"

"Yes but then you'd take him to an ice cream parlour or to get pretzels or hot dogs and it would be your little secret." Rachel told him and he laughed loudly.

"Probably," He agreed, stroking her hair gently and she sighed blissfully.

"That sounds nice." She murmured.

"It will be," Jesse promised her and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

After a long moment of silence Rachel said. "Quinn and Finn seem happy together."

"Yes," Jesse agreed, hesitantly, after a second and Rachel, sensing his disagreement, turned to look at him.

"What?"

"Well they do seem happy but..." Jesse shrugged a little helplessly. "Rache you have to have noticed how he keeps looking at you."

"He doesn't!" Rachel cried in outrage. "Why would you say that? I know you two have your differences but _really_ Jesse."

"Honestly Rachel, I'm telling you he's not doing this for the right reasons."

"Jesse St. James." Rachel snapped, sitting up and turned slowly to look at him angrily. "Stop right now. My bets friend is in a relationship with someone who loves her so will you please just leave it at that?!"

"But I'm right-"

"Jesse!"

"Oh come on Rachel!"

"Jesse leave it, _right now_."

"Fine," Jesse sat back on the bed, defeated and Rachel nodded once at her private victory. Settling beside him again they stayed in silence for a few long, tense minutes as both pretended to continue what they were doing.

Finally Jesse said, tentatively. "I've got something to tell you."

"You have?" She looked up from the sonogram, putting it aside and giving him her full attention.

"I have news," He confirmed and her brows furrowed, worried.

"Bad news?"

"No," He shook his head quickly, pulling her closer to him and holding her hand comfortingly. "Pretty good news actually… or at least, I think so."

"What is it?" She asked, nervously, fidgeting.

"While I was at Carmel I auditioned for something. They're putting on a performance of Hamlet in Akron and I auditioned for Hamlet. They just called me today to say I've got the part."

"You have?" Rachel's mouth dropped open and she dived at him, tackling him into a hug, squeezing him tightly. "Jesse that's amazing! I'm so proud of you, oh my God…"

He looked at her, smiling tenderly when he realised that there were tears trailing down her cheeks. "Oh Rache," he wiped them away gently, smiling at her. "I'm glad you're pleased. I won't let it get in the way of Nationals of course, the performance is a few weeks ahead of Nationals. The rest of the cast got their scripts a few weeks ago so they should be off book by now."

"You'll be off book soon too." Rachel told him confidently and Jesse smiled at her, nodding.

"Run lines with me?" He asked and she beamed.

"Of course," She assured him.

**Xxx**

**Oh wow okay that was a long update I'm sorry for the time this took and the update itself isn't even that long :/ **

**For those who don't follow me on tumblr, I'm actually really close to finishing this fic, it should be done by the end of October, so that's sad :( or happy, depending on how you look at it.**

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I'm sorry I don't have time to thank you all personally, but rest assured I will next chapter and I will definitely update sooner!**

**I've started school again, which is why updates are harder :( But they will speed up for the remainder of this fic I promise.**

**Okay, pleade leave me your love, thoughts on the chapter and thoughts on the show so far (who else loves Brody? And Rachel telling Finn that she's a grown woman!) and thoughts on this fic ending. I love you all!**

**Ray**

**Xxx**


	51. Chapter 50

**Title: One Hand, One Heart**

**Rating: T**

**Warning- indirect mention of rape.**

**Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee. **

**xxx**

The evening of Jesse's performance and the evening of Nationals approached far too quickly for everyone. Jesse allowed Rachel to sit in on one of his rehearsals and she managed to stay silent throughout, giving him a detailed analysis on their trip home. She assured him that he was, of course, brilliant, but that the rest of his cast needed work or he would outshine them all. He had laughed at her backhanded compliment and hugged her, saying that he was sure they would perk up soon.

Rachel also got bigger as the months went on. She became more tired and there were many evening where Jesse would sit rubbing her sore feet after a gruelling day of rehearsal. She was actually a lot smaller than many other pregnant women at her point in the pregnancy and it worried Rachel. But Julie, her doctor, had assured her that there was no such thing as normal and that all babies were different sizes. She had then gone on to point out that she should be grateful and that some women, at six moths through their pregnancy, could barely walk, let alone dance.

Jesse knew that this would not be satisfactory for Rachel, so he was almost unsurprised when he had entered her room to find her sobbing into her pillow, one morning before an all day glee rehearsal.

"Hey," clambering into bed next to her, he had gathered her into his arms, holding her close. "Hey, come on now, what's wrong?"

"I can't do it." She sniffled into his shirt, nuzzling closer to him.

"There's nothing Rachel Berry can't do." He had told her, firmly and she had laughed weakly before saying, her voice almost a whisper.

"I'm going to lose us Nationals."

"_What_?" He had demanded, sitting up straight and forcing her to look at him. "How in the world could you lose us Nationals? You're our female lead Rachel!"

"I can't perform to my best!" She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and looking down at her blossoming belly. "I can't do _anything_."

"Well then," he settled beside her, taking her hands and saying, reasonably. "The baby certainly doesn't affect your voice and you still dance as well as ever."

"Don't lie to me Jesse," she scowled at him. "I _can't_ dance any more."

"I disagree," he shook his head. "You are extremely graceful."

"Jesse!" She almost growled at him. "I can't even see my feet!"

"Well…" He looked contemplative. "If you really think you're going to affect the team then maybe you shouldn't compete."

"_What_?" She snapped, furiously. "What do you mean, not compete, I hold that team together, there's no way I couldn't compete."

"Well then," he smirked at her. "We'd better get to rehearsal."

Rehearsals, despite Rachel's fears, were actually going along far better than Jesse had anticipated. The team were determined, now that, through some stroke of luck, they had gotten this far in their first year, that they would win Nationals and their determination did wonders for their focus.

Jesse had to admit that life was a little busy at the moment, the rehearsals for Nationals were not physically taxing but he always came out of them emotionally drained. He spent a good half of the sessions shouting commands at the rest of the team, informing them that Vocal Adrenaline would have been on three weeks of 24 hour rehearsals by now. He knew they resented him for it but he honestly couldn't care less. The rehearsals for Hamlet were coming on far better. The rest of the cast were slightly older than him and had been doing amateur dramatics for a long time, so the whole cast was off book in a few weeks and the rehearsals, unlike the New Directions rehearsals, were not rife with petty complaints and childish squabbles.

By the time opening night swung around, only a few weeks before Nationals, Jesse knew that the cast were ready. They were only performing five shows, because of the generally busy schedules of the director and most of the cast, but every night was sold out and Jesse was unsurprised, but still touched to learn that Rachel and her dads had acquired front row seats to watch. His own parents, although being fully aware of the performance, were not in attendance, which came as no surprise to Jesse.

The night of the play he sat in his dressing room, reading through his script one final time and jumped when he felt a hand on his arm.

Turning, he smiled at her.

"Hey! How did you get back here?"

Rachel smiled coyly and perched in his lap. "Even pregnant I can still woo a man you know."

"I have no doubt," he pecked her lips, smiling. "You wooed me."

"That I did," she agreed, wishing she could touch him, but unwilling to ruin his stage make up. "I just came to wish you luck. And give you these." She presented him with a bouquet of red roses and he smiled at her.

"Roses?"

"I know it's normally the guy that gives the flowers but," she shrugged. "I figured… why not mix it up?"

"I love them," he promised and leant up to kiss her again when he heard the admonishing tones of his make up artist, who shooed Rachel angrily out of the door and proceeded to scold Jesse until he was stood in the wings.

The play went splendidly, as Rachel had predicted it would and by the end the cast were called out to bow with a standing ovation. When Jesse finally escaped the congratulations backstage and managed to hurry to his dressing room, change and make his way out into the lobby of the theatre he expected everyone to have left because it had taken him so long to arrive. When he got to the lobby, however, it was still packed with people and he ducked through the crowds, happy to accept their congratulations, but eager to find Rachel again.

"Hey, kid." Turning, he looked in surprise at the tall man stood behind him. His hair was short and brown and he had an imposing figure, an air of confidence that made the crowds part around him, as opposed to him moving for them.

"Hello?" The greeting came out as more of a question as Jesse looked at the man. "Sorry, do I know you?"

"Not yet, I'm Jason Marks." He held out a hand and Jesse took it, shaking it once and smiling a little.

"Jesse St. James," he replied, politely.

"Good to meet you," Jason smiled at him and said. "I'm not going to beat around the bush, it's useless. Have you ever thought of acting professionally?"

"Yes, it's actually what I want to do." Jesse gave him a curious look. "Why do you ask?"

"I happen to be a casting director. I'm here to watch my nephew, but you have real skill son."

"Thank you." Jesse tried to contain his excitement, watching the man with polite approval. "That means a lot."

"Well this will mean even more; I'm casting for a movie at the moment and I want to offer you a part."

"A part?" Jesse gaped at him. "But… you've only just met me."

"And?" Jason cocked an eyebrow. "I've seen you acting and that's really all I need to know. It's only a tiny part anyway, so it's not like you'll make or break the movie."

"Oh… I mean, wow, that's… that's great thank you so much."

"I like talent kid," Jason eyed him. "And you've got it. I don't give free rides though. I'm gonna be straight with you right now because, if you decide to get into this business that's something you won't come across very often. I'm gonna give you this break. You'll have to come in for some screen tests and I'll need to check with a few of my colleagues, but I'm pretty sure you'll get the part. I'm gonna pluck you out of obscurity, but I'm doing this because when you make it big, kid, you'll be able to mention me, understand?"

"Got it." Jesse nodded once and the two men exchanged numbers.

"I'll be in touch." He held out a hand and Jesse shook it once, watching him walk away with a pleasant feeling pooling in his stomach.

"Jesse!"

He turned in time to catch Rachel as she barrelled into him, hugging him tightly to her and beaming up at him.

"It was amazing!" Her exultant squeals were muffled by his shirt and he smiled at her, returning her embrace happily. "You were wonderful, simply marvellous!"

"Thank you," He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and glanced back to see Jason watching him. He inclined his head and Jesse returned the acknowledgement politely.

"Who's that?" Rachel peered around him to watch Jason walk away. "Do you know him?"

"No," Jesse shook his head. "Just… just a fan Rache. Come on, let's find your dads."

"Okay," She was easily distracted and followed him towards where her dads were stood, smiling at them.

"Jesse," To Jesse's surprise, Hiram stepped forward to embrace him and he returned it after a moment's hesitation. "It was wonderful."

"Thank you sir," Jesse stepped away, looking at him with surprise.

"It was very good," Leroy held out a hand for Jesse to shake and said, as he took it. "I'm normally quite precious about Shakespeare, but you did him proud, well done son."

Jesse smiled, pleasure running through him at the two men's congratulations. "I'm glad you think that sir, it meant a lot to me to be involved."

"Would you like to come home with us tonight?" Hiram asked, as Rachel snuggled further under Jesse's arm. "We're going to watch a movie and have some ice cream, you can crash in the spare room."

Jesse gaped at them both, surprise painting his features. For the last few weeks the Berry men had kept him at arms length, not quite ready to forgive him for the past month or so of grief. Though Rachel had tried to tell them time and time again that the break up was equal parts her fault, they were still decidedly chilly with him.

He glanced down at Rachel, wondering if she'd had any part in this sudden change of heart and was unsurprised to see her beaming at him. HE suspected she had had some strong words with them recently.

"That would be great… thank you." Jesse smiled and Rachel's smile only widened.

"Daddy, papa, Jesse and I will ride back to our house in his Range Rover and meet you there okay?"

"Okay poppet," Hiram smiled and tugged at Leroy gently. Leroy nodded his agreement and then said, strictly.

"Your car will be right behind ours, I'm sure."

"Yes sir," Jesse hurried to agree and Leroy nodded once, following Hiram out.

"Do you need to see anyone?" Rachel asked and Jesse looked up, scanning the room, his eyes widening when he suddenly spotted the familiar figure of his old glee club coach approaching them.

"Don't look now," He murmured into her hair, looking slowly away. "But I think we're about to have company."

"What?" Rachel looked up, despite his warning and clocked Shelby, her eyes widening. "Oh my God," She breathed and Jesse didn't have time to reply before the woman was upon them.

"Jesse, Rachel, two people I haven't seen in a long time." She looked at them, Rachel tucked firmly beneath Jesse's arm, and raised an eyebrow. "I see you made up." She commented dryly and Rachel's temper bristled.

"Yes, we did." She snapped and Jesse sighed inwardly as he felt her muscles tense, a sure sign that she was preparing for battle.

"Rache," He tugged on her. "We'd better go, your dads will be expecting us. Nice seeing you Shelby." He gave her a quick nod and hurried Rachel away before Shelby could comment, losing her in the crowd and pretending to miss the way she called their names.

Rachel was still bristling furiously, her whole body trembling as Jesse helped her up into his tall Range Rover. Clambering in beside her, he started the engine and was pulling out of the parking lot before she began to speak.

"I can't believe she would come here. After all that she's done, she still wants to speak to us. She still thinks that _we_ want to speak to her."

"Is it because she tried to make us join Vocal Adrenaline?" Jesse asked, softly, his eyes glued to the dark road in front them as they drove.

"Well… yes, sort of." Rachel huffed in frustration. "It's just… _everything_. The way that she's dealt with the whole affair, the things she said about the baby, the way that she tried to impose herself upon me. It was all just so _wrong_. And she messed with you. I mean, she messed with us both, but she used you, like a pawn or something. She has no regard for anyone else, everything she does, she does for herself."

Rachel slumped in her seat, her weary face illuminated by the glowing light of the dashboard.

Sighing, Jesse reached over and took her hand, rubbing soothing circles on her palm as he said. "I'm sorry, I know you're disappointed."

"I just… I _wanted_ a mother." Rachel said, her voice catching and Jesse felt his stomach clench at the sound of it. "I wanted someone to love me like a mother does. Someone to braid my hair and talk to me about boys and the baby."

"You have that," Jesse told her. "You have two of the best men I've ever met for dads Rache, I think that you've got everything you'll ever need with them."

"I know," She sighed, squeezing his hand. "I know that, I really do. And… I know that even if Shelby had been a better mother we've gone too long for us to be able to do any of the stuff I wanted us to do… I guess… she'll always be my mother but she's never gonna be my mom."

Jesse let this sink in for a moment, driving in silence as he thought through what she said. Finally, his voice soft, he said. "I think you're gonna make a great mom Rache."

"You do?" Her smile was almost blinding and he smiled at her.

"Yeah I do." He said, smiling. "I also think that you don't need to worry about Shelby because you don't need a mom Rache. You're already grown, you've already been raised without her help so why would you need her now?"

She didn't reply for a long moment, thinking, but just as he was beginning to get worried she said, her voice tender.

"I love you. You're right."

"I love you too." He told her, as they pulled up by her house. Leaning over, he gave her a quick peck on the lips, his eyes widening when she reached around to lace her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and pull him closer, kissing him harder. His hand reached out to cup her cheek, stroking it gently with his thumb and holding her close.

Finally, he broke away, leaning his forehead against hers so that their noses just brushed as he tried to catch his breath.

"Did I wear you out?" She teased, slightly breathless and he stuck his tongue out at her.

She took the opportunity to kiss him again, leaning forward to press her lips against his, her tongue slipping into his mouth as she bent over him, one hand struggling to support herself as the other wrapped around his neck. He forced himself to pull away, laughing at her pout.

"As much as I would love to continue." He teased, grinning at her. "Your dads are just inside and I don't want to lose any more of their trust, I know I'm on here on sufferance as it is."

She rolled her eyes at him, but sat back and clambered out of the car.

When they arrived inside they were greeted by a gorgeous smell wafting in from the kitchen. Hiram poked his head around the door and smiled at the pair of teens.

"Jesse, Rachel," He greeted them welcomingly. "We were just beginning to wonder if you were lost."

"We got a little deterred, sir." Jesse explained, squeezing Rachel hand gently in his own as she shifted next to him.

"What exactly deterred you?" Hiram asked, leading them into the kitchen and pulling out a chair for Rachel to sit on.

"Shelby." Rachel said darkly, slumping in her seat.

"Shelby?" Leroy turned from his place at the stove to look at them, worried.

"She cornered us." Jesse explained, sighing heavily. "We didn't talk for long but… it wasn't very amiable."

"What did she want?" Hiram sat in the seat beside Rachel and reached over to take her hand, but looked up at Jesse when he spoke.

"Just to talk to us I think… to breach the gap. Any deeper intentions she had are as much a mystery to me as they are to you, sir." Jesse shrugged, squeezing Rachel's shoulder comfortingly.

"Good to here it son," Hiram smiled at him warmly and Jesse flushed a little.

"Why don't you guys go and wait in the living room while Hiram and I cook dinner?" Leroy asked, without turning, "it'll be about fifteen minutes."

"We could go up to my room," Rachel suggested, smiling at Jesse with a twinkle in her eyes.

"No," Leroy snapped suddenly, turning to look at them.

"It won't be very long until dinner's ready," Hiram jumped in, hurriedly. "You're better to just stay in the living room kids."

Rachel opened her mouth as if she was about to argue but Jesse interrupted her quickly. "Of course sir, we'll watch some TV. Come on Rache."

Following him out and into the living room, she settled next to him on the couch, huffing even as she curled up beside him.

"Why did you stop me?" She demanded. "We could have gone upstairs and continued what we were doing in the car." Her hand played with the hair at the nape of his neck and she pressed her lips against his for a moment, until he pulled away. "Jesse," She whined, scowling at him.

"I told you Rache, I'm here on sufferance only, I don't think your dads would appreciate us making out during a family dinner."

"Fine," She huffed, settling next to him again and snuggling closer into the crook of his neck. "But I'll be having words with them."

"You do that," He laughed softly. "But until then, we'll have to keep it on the down low okay?"

"Okay," She agreed and they sat, talking quietly until they were called in for dinner.

After a pleasant dinner, the family and Jesse sat down to play board games and then watch a movie together. Jesse and Rachel curled up together on the couch, Leroy sat mere inches away from them and Hiram settled in the arm chair. Every few minutes Leroy would shoot a look at Jesse and Rachel to see whether the two teens were up to anything they shouldn't be but, much to Rachel's disappointment, Jesse was the picture of perfection all evening.

When her fathers went to get coffee, Rachel rose to follow them and the three Berrys were occupied for quite a long time, Jesse tempted to listen at the kitchen door, but unwilling to invade on their privacy.

When they finally emerged, he could tell who had won their argument. Rachel smiled smugly as she sat beside him, cuddling him close and Leroy sat stiffly beside them, his jaw set but his eyes resigned. Hiram, as ever, just smiled between the two of them, happy to be the peace keeper.

"Everything okay?" Jesse asked, after a long pause.

"Perfect," Rachel answered him, beaming and when he could get no response from the two men he shrugged and started the movie again.

When it was finished, he glanced down to see Rachel, her eyes shut, sleeping against his chest. Her body was heavy and warm and he shook her gently to wake her, kissing her nose.

"Rise and shine Sleeping Beauty," He quipped softly, smiling at her affectionately. "Time for bed I think, someone is tired."

"I'm not tired," she cut herself off with a large yawn, her mouth stretching wide open.

"Oh really?" He laughed softly. "I don't believe you."

"You've both had long days." Hiram put in. "It's late, we should all probably go to bed."

"Jesse," Leroy cleared his throat, rising to his feet as he spoke. His expression was creased in painful awkwardness. "Rachel, Hiram and I have discussed it and we've decided that you should sleep in Rachel's room tonight."

"Really sir?" Jesse's mouth fell open, Rachel smiling smugly beside him.

"She put forward a convincing case." Leroy admitted. "She said that she would probably end up sneaking into the spare room anyway, even though you would play by the rules. She also said that she sleeps best when she's at your side."

Jesse glanced down at the girl in his arms. "Really?" He asked.

She nodded, snuggling closer to him. "You keep the nightmares away," she confessed in a whisper.

"So… sleep in Rachel's room tonight but no uh," Leroy was slowly turning a darker and darker shade of puce as he spoke. "No… funny business."

"Of course not sir," Jesse promised, kissing the crown of Rachel's head. "Thank you sir, goodnight."

Together, the two teens made their way upstairs. Rachel ran through her long, complicated toilette first and then Jesse followed, slipping into bed beside her when he was done.

"Hi," She turned to smile at him, her gaze sultry as she ran a hand up his arm and he glanced down to see that she was wearing only a scrap of lace beneath the covers.

"_Oh_," His voice caught in his throat as he stared down at her, gulping obtrusively and he tried to control himself.

"What's wrong?" She murmured, slipping a hand up his arm.

"Rache, you can't… you can't wear that right now." His voice was strangled, unable to tear his gaze away from the lace that had shifted high up her thigh, showing the curve of her butt.

"Why not?" She asked innocently, the fingers of her other hand slipping up his thigh, her touch feathery light.

Letting out a choked groan, he twisted himself, scrambling from the bed hurriedly. Standing, he took a deep breath, his eyes fastened on her. She sat up in the bed, the sheet pooled around her as she looked up at him, hurt shining in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," He sighed heavily, stepping towards the bed again and sitting on the edge. Reaching out he cupped her cheek, raising her eyes to meet his. "I just… Rache I can't _focus _ with you in that. I made a promise to your dad and I don't want to break that. IF you don't change I'm going to have to go and sleep in the spare room."

She huffed, getting slowly out of bed, her stomach making it harder to storm than she would have liked.

"Fine."

He slid into bed and she joined him a few minutes later, in flannel pyjamas.

"Better?" She demanded.

"Yes," He took her in his arms again, kissing her neck until she relaxed into him.

"I don't know when you became so virtuous." She snapped, still slightly irritable.

"You know how I feel about your dads right now Rache, but trust me…" He sucked gently on the skin just below her ear, making her squirm a little, a soft mewl leaving her mouth. "If your dads weren't here…" He trailed off, smiling at her and she cuddled him, leaning up to whisper in his ear.

"I hope that day comes soon."

**Xxx**

"_**the next update will come sooner"**_

**I AM A HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING**

**What happened? I don't even know to be honest. I went through some self confidence issues back in October and November that were actually pretty crippling, especially because I didn't talk to anyone about them and I'm still sort of climbing that mountain, y'know? It's getting better though, I'm a lot better than I was. I'm going to tell you straight, because if you're still reading this then you deserve to know, I was at my lowest in Oct/ Nov. I just felt like an awful writer, a terrible singer, a bad student, everything I valued myself on felt like it was crumbling around me. But yes, back from tales of woe I'm much better now… but I'm still scared. I get this terrifyingly paralysing fear when I update because I'm really insecure and my writing means a lot to me and yeah. **

**Basically, I got too scared but now I'm trying this thing where I'm actually trying to be brave.**

"_**I write when my fear of not writing overcomes my fear of writing."**_

**That quote resonates with me.**

**Okay yes, this got long.**

**So please leave a review, even a scathing one that scolds me for the time this took. In fact… that would probably be a pretty good thing to do.**

**Sorry.**

**Again.**

**Love to you all,**

**Ray**

**xxxx**


End file.
